Video Game Review #613: The Mark of Kri

The Mark of Kri

PlayStation 2

Before Playing:

This game has been in my possession for over 20 years now, and I have no idea where it came from. I have no recollection of buying it or having it gifted to me. It just kind of appeared out of nowhere. Presumably, I picked it up at a used game store somewhere, probably for 4 or 5 bucks. I don't know what prompted me to pop it in, but I finally decided to do so here in the year of our Lord, 2026 (for context, this game came out in 2002).

Reviews of this game online are fairly positive, so I thought I'd have a good time with it. I was wrong. Keep reading for my full two cents.

Story:

I'm going to be using the phrase "on the surface" a lot in this review. On the surface, this game has a decent storyline. You don't see too many video games based on Polynesian lore, and I was interested to see where this would go.

You play as Rau, a down on his luck wannabe-warrior searching for his purpose in life. Rather than accept a job mopping floors at the local bar, he decides to head out and take on a group of bandits that have been causing trouble for his village. Surprisingly, he defeats them handily, and his tales of courage and strength spread like wildfire across the land.

This is where the game kind of lost me. There's too much exposition, and too many "side tales" talking about Polynesian legends and mythology - a lot of which doesn't seem to have anything to do with the task at hand. "This god married this mortal and now they are constellations in the sky" blah blah that kind of thing. Not gonna lie, I would zone out majorly during these segments. And then I would zone out during the actual story segments and miss major plot developements. Once I lose interest in a game's story, there is almost no getting it back for me. And that happened here. A lot of this recap is going to be major guesswork because of this. 

Rau gets drawn into some kind of plot where he has to protect people who bear "the mark of Kri" which is a magical tattoo that appears on their skin. Why these people are important and who is after them is something I can't explain. Sorry.

This is what you get for reading the blog of a guy who can't stay focused while playing a game. "Some reviewer I am, right?" is always my go-to joke in these scenarios. I'm here to give MY experience on the game. If you want a full story recap, go look at the Wikipedia page for this game.

I'll even help you:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mark_of_Kri

Gameplay:

Since I didn't care about the story of this game, I decided to focus on its gameplay instead. On the surface, this should be a fun game. The tutorial makes it seem like a beat 'em up, similar to God of War. Different button combinations launch different attacks at your enemies. There is a block button, and later on in the game you pick up a bow and arrow for long range attacks.

The lock-on system is intriguing. You use the right analog stick to highlight multiple enemies on the screen. When highlighted, a different button is mapped to these characters. Want to attack the guy with the square icon above his head? Just hit square. Want to attack the circle guy instead? Hit circle. In theory, this should allow the battles to flow naturally, as you pick which enemies you want to go after and when.

The problem is, this makes it really hard to pull off combos. If a combo is square, square, x - but you have the different buttons mapped to different characters, hitting square, square, x attacks the square guy twice and the x guy once. Kind of defeats the purpose of having button combos and this button mapping lock-on system going at the same time. And that's not it. The enemies in this game are insanely hard to defeat, even basic grunt enemies. In a game like God of War, you do a button combo on the enemy and you knock him down or defeat him. If he gets up, you keep going after him. In this game, even if you pull off a successful combo, there's about an 85% chance it is going to be blocked. If you storm in and just mash the x button, your attacks are going to be blocked. If you play defensively and counter-attack after blocking an enemy hit, your attack is going to be blocked. It seemed like I could never land an attack on anyone - and that is even closely following the gameplay outlined in the tutorial. They fucking block everything.

I kept thinking as I played the game: what the hell am I doing wrong? Is the game system broken or am I just not understanding things properly? To this date, I still don't know the answer. Like I said before, reviews of this game online are mostly positive. Were we playing the same game?

In the second stage of the game, you learn a counter attack where if you tap block at the moment you are being attacked, you counter the enemy and perform an instant kill on him. That's what the rest of the game devolved into. Just me countering everyone by tapping the shoulder button as they attacked me. The combo system went out the window. The lock-on system went out the window. Just tap the block button and counter-kill everyone became the name of the game. What is the point of the regular combat system, then, if the only way to beat everyone is to just spam the same thing over and over again?

The more frustrated I became, the more I tried to focus on stealth. This is the way. Apparently, this is more of a stealth game akin to Tenchu: Stealth Assassins (another game in my backlog that I haven't played) than it is a brawler like God of War. You are better off avoiding enemies or sneaking up and stealth killing them than engaging in actual combat. This is all fine and dandy, but WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DOES THE GAME NOT MAKE THIS CLEAR? EVERYTHING IN THE TUTORIALS MAKES YOU THINK YOU NEED TO FIGHT EVERYONE LIKE THIS IS A BEAT EM UP. WHY THE THE FANCY LOCK ON SYSTEM AND THE COMBINATION ATTACKS AND THE SCROLLS THAT LEARN YOU NEW ATTACKS IF THE NAME OF THE GAME IS TO JUST SNEAK BY EVERYONE???

Sorry about the all-caps, but this pissed me off. It's like the game intentionally misleads you to play one way, when you are really supposed to do it the other way. That's also not how the game is advertised or represented on the back of the box. Every single thing about this game screams "just go forward and fight your enemies like you would in any other game like this." At no point is it ever made clear this is really a stealth game.

Once I started treating this like a stealth game, I started to make some real progress. If/when I would get spotted, I would just do the ol' counterattack insta-kill thing and pick off my enemies one by one. Trying to fight them using the normal combat system is useless, like I mentioned already. The game basically became: sneak into the new area, pick off any enemies with the bow and arrow or stealth attacks, sneak into the next area. Rinse and repeat. Getting spotted brings a swarm of enemies coming after you that you have to defeat. This is mostly manageable, save for the areas with snipers positioned above you. You are basically fucked if you get spotted in these areas. You can't fight the enemies off because you're getting sniped with an arrow every four seconds. A lot of times, I would just die on purpose to restart the area over again, because the battles are basically unwinnable under those circumstances.

Every time I would start to get into a groove with the stealth gameplay and start to like the game, something new would happen to piss me off. It's like the game actively hates you and doesn't want you to have a fun time. The armored archer area, that takes place in a giant spiral arena (I don't know how else to describe it) was almost the breaking point for me. You can't snipe the archers from a distance because they are armored, so you have to rely 100% on stealth. You get spotted once and your game is over. These bastards have such amazing eyesight. You can leave one pixel exposed around a corner and they'll spot you from 400 feet away. It's ridiculous. This area which would have taken 10 minutes if this game had a normal combat system became a 4 hour debacle. To make matters worse, the game glitched on me right after I saved it, and the camera angle became super zoomed in on me, not allowing me to see my immediate surroundings or look ahead to make sure the coast was clear. This was reallllly not helpful considering this was a stealth section filled with enemies with the eyesight of a bald eagle. I kept accidentally stepping out from cover because I couldn't freaking see anything, and then it would be game over for me because once you are spotted, you are toast. It didn't matter how many times I reloaded my save or tried again, the camera wouldn't fix itself. I almost gave up on this piece of shit right then and there.

I found out that turning the game off completely and then loading my save would fix the camera. But guess what? If I died and had to reload the save, the camera would get all messed up again. I'd have to turn off the system and reload it again after powering it back on again. I basically had one chance and if I messed it up again I had to restart the whole thing.

Somehow I powered through it, and the camera fixed itself when the level ended. But this was so annoying. It took me so freaking long to make it past this area. It was hard enough as it was, but the camera glitch really, and I mean really soured my experience with the game.

All this talking and I haven't even mentioned the bird. Rau has a bird on his shoulder that he can send ahead to scout new areas and spot enemies, which comes in handy for the stealth segments. This bird can also help solve puzzles by throwing switches for you that are out of range. Yippy. I just can't muster any excitement for this game, even the things it does well.

Luckily, the game isn't long. It is six stages. The first five stages are essentially the same stealthy kind of thing. The last stage throws this all out the window and focuses solely on combat. On the surface, this would be a welcome thing. That's what we all signed up for, right? Wrong. The combat sucks and the enemies still block everything. I decided to break my cardinal rule of gaming and activate a cheat code to make my character invincible. I wasn't going to struggle through this stage for 9 hours of pure frustration. I just wanted to be done with it.

Graphics:

The game looks okay. It's a PS2 game that shows its age. Even looking at it in comparison to other games coming out at the time (like God of War, which I keep mentioning) it doesn't look great. But it doesn't look bad either. It's right in the middle. I like the sunsets and the ruins and the waterfalls and all that kind of thing.

Where the game shines the most graphically is the cutscenes (you know, the ones I zoned out during?). The story segments are told with some nice, storybook style sequences that are fairly pleasing to the eye. Too bad they are boring AF.

Sound:

I'm at a loss for words here. I remember nothing about the game's sound, and I just finished it like a week ago. Was the music good? IDK. Was the voice acting good? IDK. The sound effects? IDK.

I'm just going to go ahead and say they were adequate. If they were bad, they would have stood out in my mind. But the sound must not be very great either if I can't remember any of it.

Overall:

I've made it quite clear that I don't like this game. It left a bad taste in my mouth, and I can easily say I will never return to it again. That's not to say there aren't good things about it. When it was clicking, the stealth gameplay was fairly good. There were a few levels in the middle of the game where I was like "alright alright. I get it now." But then something ridiculous would happen to piss me off and send me back to hating the game again. It's like I said earlier in the review, this game wants you to have a miserable time. It is like it actively goes out of its way to remind you how much it hates you time and time again.

I can't recommend this game to anyone. It's a steaming pile of doo doo in my opinion, and I consider myself an easy gamer to please. I almost never rag on a game like I did here. What I can't figure out is why this game is so popular in online circles. I've scanned the reviews before and seen that they were mostly favorable. I didn't really read too many of them, because I like to have my own opinion when I review games, and to not have it be influenced by anyone else. But now I am done playing. If you are one of the hundreds of people that love this game, please, and I mean PLEASE tell me what you love about this game. And please tell me what I was doing wrong in combat to make me hate it so much.

Okay, I've said my piece. I'm very glad this game is over and I never, ever have to play it again. It only gets a passing grade (barely) because I am not that big of a hater to overlook this game's strengths. And like I said, there were a few times I found myself having a good time and vibing with the stealth gameplay. It's just too bad those moments were so few and far between.

THE GRADE:

D-

For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

>HERE<

Video Game Review #612: Beyond Oasis

Beyond Oasis

Sega Genesis

Nostalgia Factor:

This is one of those games that I rented on a whim when I was a kid. Blockbuster didn't have anything I wanted, so I decided to take a chance on Beyond Oasis, which I had never heard of before. I remember taking the game home and accidentally loading someone's old save file without realizing it. The player left off on the part of the game where the castle is being attacked, and you have to sneak in through the sewer area. To me, this seemed like a logical starting point for a game. I must have played it for several hours before it finally sunk in that something wasn't right. I turned the game off, and did something else for a little bit. When I returned to the game, I noticed my mistake and felt like the world's biggest idiot.

I spent a lot of time with Beyond Oasis that weekend. I beat the game from beginning (yes, the actual beginning) to end. I even started it up again and nearly made my way through it a second time. I was in love. I thought the game was freaking amazing.

Although I enjoyed the game, I would never end up buying it. Why waste the money on something I'd essentially beaten twice already? It wasn't long before the Saturn came out and I was able to play its sequel, The Legend of Oasis (check out my 2017 review of the game HERE). I loved Legend of Oasis as well. Now, that game I did own, and I would return to it quite often. Beyond Oasis, however, became a distant memory to me.

I would end up getting the game later on in life on the Sonic Genesis Collection for the PS3. I played through it again at some point before starting this blog. I'm guessing 2011 or 2012. That was the last time I had played Beyond Oasis prior to playing through it again for this review here in 2026.

When people ask me about underrated Genesis gems, this is a game I like to bring up. Hopefully my review brings more awareness to Beyond Oasis, and encourages more folks to check it out. Because it is a title that never seems to get the credit it deserves. Keep reading to see why.

Story:

This game has a story, but it's not really its strong point. This game is more about beautiful graphics and fun gameplay that anything else. And that's totally cool. Most Zelda games aren't really known for their stories either.

In the game, you play as a young prince named Ali. He is a an adventurer and treasure hunter. On one of his excursions, he unearths a mythical golden armlet. Years ago, the wearer of the golden armlet went to war against the wearer of its evil counterpart, the silver armlet. Ali puts on the golden armlet, which allows him to convene with the four elemental spirits residing in the land. Unfortunately, this draws the attention of the evil silver armlet wearer, whose identity is kept a mystery until the very end of the game.

The evil armlet person attacks Ali's home, killing his parents and terrorizing the villagers. Ali gathers the elemental spirits and brings them to his side in a battle against the silver armlet dude. Only, Ali finds out that it is not a man after all when he emerges from the fight victorious. Spoiler alert: it is his long, lost sister who is referenced occasionally throughout the game. She's been under the spell of this evil silver armlet, unable to break free of its curse. Knowing she'll be met with scorn for all the deaths that happened while she had the armlet on, she sacrifices herself for Ali and the kingdom by entering the spirit world with both the silver and golden armlet, where they are sealed away forever.

Gameplay:

The obvious comparison most people make is to The Legend of Zelda 8 and 16-bit games. I suppose I can see why. It's an action RPG. It takes place from an isometric perspective. You control a guy with a sword. The areas are broken up into "square" like segments. You travel around the map, going to temples and gaining new items and abilities.

But this game is very different from Zelda. The controls are a lot more fluid. You can run, jump, walk slowly, crawl, etc. Combat seems familiar to what you'd see in a beat 'em up, like Streets of Rage. Stab with your sword, punch, kick, jump kick, run and kick, etc. I also really like the magic system. Your armlet allows you to summon spirts to help you. Like, if you are near a torch on the wall and you are getting overwhelmed by enemies, you can blast the torch with your armlet to summon Efreet, the fire spirit. He will join you as you fight enemies side-by-side. And he's a big help, too! Not just a useless side character. You even have some control over him. You can press the A button to have him blow fire, double tap it to have him do a charge attack, or hold it and let go to have him do a screen-clearing attack. He runs on a magic meter, so you have to be careful it doesn't run out, or he'll go away.

You can summon other beings to help you also - such as the shade spirit, the plant spirit, and the water spirit. They each have their own special regular or screen-clearing attacks. I like the water spirit because she heals you when you double tap the A button. The way you summon her is very clever. If you see a drip coming down from the ceiling, or a puddle on the floor - that's enough. Blast it with your armlet to summon her. All you need is a little bit of water. I also discovered that if you need Efreet to help you in battle, and there is no fire around, you can throw a bomb and use your armlet on the ensuing explosion to summon him. Honestly, this game is much more clever than people give it credit for. 

The game is not too difficult. Where I struggled the most was the platforming sections. I hate when games from this perspective make you do precision platforming. It's not as bad here as it is in a game like, say, Landstalker, but it isn't great. It's the weakest part of the whole game. Luckily, it's still not bad enough to make me think negatively of Beyond Oasis. I really do enjoy this game.

What else don't I like about it? Having to pause to access the menu and use an item. Also, temporary items that break after a limited number of uses. These are minor complaints though, and none of these truly get in the way of my enjoyment of the game.

Before we move on, I should mention the puzzles. Nothing too hard here. Lots of switches to throw and pressure panels to stand on. The game does incorporate your items into the puzzles. Like, if you are up on a high perch and you see a pressure platform below, you can toss a bomb onto it to weigh it down and open the door you are trying to open. The game incorporates the spirits into the puzzles as well. If fire blocks your path, the water spirit can extinguish it. Efreet can melt any ice blocking your path. The shade spirit helps you cross long gaps. The plant spirt eats entire fucking doors that are blocking your path. They all serve a purpose not only for combat, but for the puzzles you encounter throughout the game. They way they incorporate the spirits into the game is very well done.

Graphics:

This is a beautiful game. Just look at that pixel art. To be honest, it is one of the better looking Genesis games out there, if not THE best. I'm hard pressed to find a better looking title on the console. The colors are just so bright and beautiful. The art style is top notch.

Not only does it look good, the animation is great, also. The characters move well, and there are a lot of little things moving in the background. The world of the game is very simple, but it is filled with this sense of magic and wonder that fills your soul as you wander around and explore the world. 

Sound:

This is a very atmospheric game, and the music plays a large part of that as well. There are big, sweeping scores when exploring the overworld. When within the dungeons, things can be quiet and more restrained. I prefer the overworld music. Several songs on there that can go on my gaming music playlist, particularly the "main" theme you hear a lot. I wish I could say something (or even anything) about the sound effects, however. They are very average. Ali doesn't speak or really make any noise whatsoever. This leaves him a bit underdeveloped and forgettable as a main character.

Overall:

This isn't a long game. I only put an hour or two of time into this per day, and I still managed to beat it in under a week. Looking back, I didn't have much trouble with this when I was a kid, either. I beat it in one weekend. But it's not about the length. It's about how much fun you have playing it. And I really liked this game.

This is probably a controversial opinion, but I enjoyed Beyond Oasis MUCH more than Zelda: A Link to the Past for the Super Nintendo. Maybe it's a system-bias thing. I didn't have a Super Nintendo as a kid. Nor did I play A Link to the Past. So there is no nostalgia there. I didn't play that game until I was an adult. But I grew up with Beyond Oasis. But even trying to separate my pre-existing feelings for the game, I still think I legitimately prefer this game to A Link to the Past. And it's not even particularly close. I gave that game a C+. This one is closer to an A. I enjoyed it more in pretty much every regard. I understand that is a controversial opinion that would probably get me roasted if more than 5 people read this blog. But that's how I feel.

If you've never played Beyond Oasis, you need to check this game out. It looks the part, it sounds the part. It's super fun to play. I loved exploring this bright and colorful world and getting lost in the music and the atmospheric effects. The combat is great. The elemental spirits add a lot to the game - both as an aide in combat and in puzzle solving.

There are a few things holding this game back from true greatness, but as far as action RPGs go, this may be the best the Genesis has to offer.

THE GRADE:

B+

For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

>HERE<

2026 Things: March

A complete list of all the movies I watched, podcasts I listened to, video games I completed, and episodes of TV I watched in the month of March, 2026.

Previous 2026 months:

January

February

3.01: Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 73). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 258). Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (103). Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Of Mice and Men). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (Quick Save Club ep 13 - Terraria). Listened to 1 episode of The Stephen Kingcast (The Golden Years). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (1.07). Watched 1 episode of Lost (1.16). Watched movie: Enemy Mine.

3.02: Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (Ted the Caver pt 6). Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 70). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (1.17, 1.18). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (1.08). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 74). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (Super Mario World). Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (ep 111). Listened to 1 episode of The 7th Rule (ep 307). Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (104). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries (Hawaiian Homicide). 

3.03: Watched movie: Purge: Election Year. Watched 2 episodes of The Sopranos (1.09, 1.10). Watched 2 episodes of Survivor (34.10, 34.11). Watched 1 episode of Lost (1.19). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.146). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (ep 64). Listened to 1 episode of The Left Right game (ep 9).

3.04: Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (1.11). Watched 2 episodes of Survivor (34.12, 34.13). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (1.20, 1.21). Listened to 2 episodes of Creepy pod (Ted the Caver pts 7 and 8). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: The White Lotus (2.05 feedback). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (It: Welcome to Derry pilot). Listened to 1 episode of The Left Right game (ep 10). 

3.05: Watched 2 episodes of The Sopranos (1.12, 1.13). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (1.22, 1.23). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (50.02). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Gaming x Cinema Collab (Return to Silent Hill). Watched 2 episodes of The Amazing Race (17.06, 17.07).

3.06: Watched movie: Critters. Watched 2 episodes of Lost (1.24, 1.25). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.147). Listened to 2 episodes of Creepy pod (Ted the Caver pts 9 and 10). Watched 1 episode of Fallout (2.01). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.02). 

3.07: Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Murder by Numbers). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 259). Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (17.08). Finished video game: The Legend of Dragoon. Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.145). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (Squidward's Su!cide). 

3.08: Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Gaming (ep 61). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (3.5.26 ep). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (2.01, 2.02). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: The White Lotus (ep 6 recap). Watched 1 episode of Attack on Titan (4.02). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (Candle Cove). 

3.09: Watched 2 episodes of Lost (2.03, 2.04). Listened to 2 episodes of Retrovaniacs (eps 75 and 76). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.01). Listened to 2 episodes of Creepy pod (Normal Corn for Normal People, Mr. Widemouth). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro (Live Show May 14 2021). Watched 1 episode of Fallout (2.02). Watched 1 episode of Star Trek Voyager (1.06). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (Summer of Games 2020 - PS5).

3.10: Watched 1 episode of Lost (2.05). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (It: Welcome to Derry: The Thing in the Dark). Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (17.09). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries (Highway Ambush). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.02). 

3.11: Watched 3 episodes of Lost (2.06, 2.07, 2.08). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (Top 10 Villains in Video Games). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (50.03). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.03). 

3.12: Watched 1 episode of Lost (2.09). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.03). Watched 1 episode of Fallout (2.03). Watched movie: Splinter.

3.13: Watched 1 episode of Lost (2.10). Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (17.10). Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (American Pie). Watched 1 episode of Fallout (2.04).

3.14: Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (ep 114). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (Abandoned by Disney). Listened to 1 episode of The 7th Rule (ep 309). Watched 1 episode of Lost (2.11). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.04). Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (ep 105). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.151). 

3.15: Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (It: Welcome to Derry: Now You See It). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.150). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (Gurgles and Bugman). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries (Jacob's Last Drive). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Fotoball Happy Hour (3.10.26 ep). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro (Live Show: May 21, 2021). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (CC Summer of Games 2020 - EA Play and MORE!). Finished video game: Metroid Prime. Watched 1 episode of Lost (2.12). 

3.16: Watched movie: The Lion King (90s). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: The White Lotus (ep 6 feedback). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (2.13, 2.14). Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (ep 106). Listened to 1 episode of The Stephen Kingcast (ep 84). Listened to 1 episode of The 7th Rule (ep 310). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (The Theater). Watched movie: Green Room.

3.17: Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.05). Watched 1 episode of Lost (2.15). Watched 1 episode of Fallout (2.05). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 260). Finished video game: Ecco The Dolphin: Defender of the Future. Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (ep 107). 

3.18: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.04). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (50.04). Listened to 1 episode of The Stephen Kingcast (ep 85). Watched 1 episode of Lost (2.16).

3.19: Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (3.12.26 ep). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (2.17, 2.18). Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (17.11). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.06). 

3.20: Watched 2 episodes of Lost (2.19, 2.20). Watched 2 episodes of Australian Survivor (14.05, 14.06). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.152). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.07). Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (17.12). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (4/20 Special: Evil Bong). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (3.19.26 ep).

3.21: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.07). Listened to 1 episode of The Stephen Kingcast (ep 86). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (Annora Petrova). Watched 1 episode of Lost (2.21).

3.22: Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Fateful Findings). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 77). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.153). Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 71). Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (ep 108). Watched 1 episode of Lost (2.22). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Gaming (Game Launch Edition: Virtual Boy - Nintendo Classics Review). Listened to 1 episode of The Stephen Kingcast (ep 87). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries (Double Murder on the Fifth Floor). Watched 1 episode of Fallout (2.06). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.08). 

3.23: Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (It: Welcome to Derry - The Great Swirling Apparatus of Our Planet's Function). Finished video game: Beyond Oasis. Watched movie: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Watched 2 episodes of Lost (2.23, 2.24). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (Ansasi's Goatman Story). Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (ep 115). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (Your Game is Perfect - We've Changed Everything Pt 2). 

3.24: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.08). Watched 1 episode of Fallout (2.07). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.09). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 261). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.155). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (su!cidemouse.avi). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.01).

3.25: Watched 1 episode of Fallout (2.08). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.02). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (ep 82). Watched 3 episodes of Australian Survivor (14.09, 14.10, 14.11). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.10).

3.26: Watched 1 episode of Survivor (50.05). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries (Road Trip to Murder). Watched 2 episodes of Australian Survivor (14.12, 14.13). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.154). Watched movie: The Good Son. Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.03). 

3.27: Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.04). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (At the Movies: Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness). Listened to 1 episode of The 7th Rule (ep 311). Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (ep 113). 

3.28: Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (ep 109). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (31.01). Watched 2 episodes of Australian Survivor (14.14, 14.15). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.05).

3.29: Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (It: Welcome to Derry - 29 Neibolt Street). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom - First Hour Playthrough). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 262). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.11). Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (That Thing You Do!). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (ep 65). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.06). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (The Harbinger Experiment). Finished video game: Mark of Kri.

3.30: Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 72). Listened to 1 episode of The Retro Blast (Arcade Memories). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.07). 

3.31: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.16). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.08). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (CC Portable Mania!!! - Series Finale). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (3.26.26 ep).

Most things done (min of 6)

42 episodes of Lost watched

18 episodes of The Sopranos watched

16 episodes of Creepy podcast played

15 episodes of Australian Survivor watched

9 episodes of The FF Dynasty played

8 movies watched

8 episodes of Survivor (US) watched

8 episodes of Fallout watched

7 episodes of Looking Back at Lost played

7 episodes of The Amazing Race watched

A bunch of stuff tied with 5

For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

>HERE<

VHS Tape #29: For Shizzle

This tape is called "For Shizzle" because at the time this was recorded, I was working with a guy named Paul. He was the most white-breaded white guy of all time, and sometimes as an acknowledgment, he would say "for shizzle" in response. And he would say it very formally, and with the hard R. For shizzle, not fo' shizzle. It was humorous. So I named this tape in his honor. Paul, wherever you are, your legacy will live on forever.

(00:00:00)

COPS

 - Crazy old drunk prowler bangs on man's window and gets hit with a baseball bat

 - Man calls the cops in when he discovers a bizarre voodoo-like display outside. There is a dead crab, an egg, a porkchop, a clump of hair, and some candles. Odd.

 - White trash couple pulled over. The driver has multiple warrants and is arrested. The passenger, a mulleted man, is released. Drug paraphernalia with meth residue is found in car.

 - Clips from inside lockup cells on a busy night. Lots of drunks and disorderlies. Two people are busted for smoking pot in a cell.

Classic Jerry Springer clip: My Boyfriend Is A Woman

(27:50)

Family Matters. WTF there's a new mom in this episode. I miss the old Harriet, this one sucks. Carl hires a masseuse, making Harriet jealous. Myrtle Urkel gets a makeover to impress Eddie.

Happy Tree Friends

 - Water Way To Go. Father and son mishaps on the beach.

 - RFTV. Dangers of feral cats.

 - Awful Gas. Short black and white fifties-style clip about dangerous gas

 - Dancing Animals music video. This is fucking trippy and weird but awesome too.

 - Binge And Purge. Animals attack humanity.

 - Petey and Jaydee - The Hair Crimper

 - Black and White Army propaganda film

 - Hard Drinkin' Lincoln - Abezilla. Giant Lincoln statue runs amok in DC.

 - Petey and Jaydee - The Drop Saw

 - Captain Capitalism - To Bleep or Not to Bleep. Captain Capitalism lectures a group of kids on use of profanities after Dick Cheney flips out.

 - Icy You. Wired Squirrel mutilated in candy store.

 

Maury Povich - Horribly burned black woman with no nose now lives a normal life due to a realistic prosthetic mask. The man who makes the masks talks to the camera. White woman who lost nose to cancer comes out on stage with a normal looking nose. She takes it off for the audience. Ew. Deformed black girl goes on dream night out with some obscure R&B Star.

(1:12:46)

MXC. Ultimate Fighters vs Desperate Housewives

 - Take a Leek

 - Mudd Butlers

 - Sinkers and Floaters

 - Dash To Death

 - Log Drop. Platoosh Babaganoosh is the last contestant.

 

COPS

 - Cop pursues a driver who refuses to pull over. After a long chase, the white man jumps out of his car and tries to run away into the woods but is caught. He then has the nerve to ask "What did I do?" The cop loses his badge and has to go back to look for it.

 - Black thief who was seen stealing stuff from a car runs from cops and hides by lying down in tall grass in a dark lot. He also asks what he did wrong. WTF?

AFV

 - Person falls and slides down hill and is hit in crotch with tree

 - Man tries to ride ATV up hill and it flips over and rolls over him

 - Old people break bench while having picture taken

 - Bike rider crashes head first in bushes

 - Girl sitting in window falls out

 - Sleeping passenger in car tricked into thinking there's going to be a head on collision

 - Clips of people being scared by things

 - Woman panics when there is an earthquake. She grabs kids and runs off camera, and naked man walks into the picture

 - Kid scared by gun firing salute

 - Frog jumps on baby's face

 - Chick runs from baby in and out of fenced area

 - Kid doesn't like happy birthday being sang to her and she cries

 - Kid dips hair in mud

 - Kid falls repeatedly while failing on the slip and slide. He gets mad and yells.

 - Man throws apples at a beehive and gets stung

 - Horse drawn carriage is led into water

 - Hamster climbs toward camera

 - Dog leaps around in the snow

 - Snake tries to crawl up kid's shorts

 - Rodeo dude is thrown off bucking bull, and then it comes back and throws him into a fence

 - Black cat attacks camera

 - Half naked drunk dude climbs up to the top of a slide and falls

 - Old lady falls off merry go round

 - Person on zip line hits sprinkler with butt and turns it on

 - Dentures fall out of a man's mouth while talking and he pops them back in

 - Man on swinging rope falls and hits shore

 - Grilling man lights crotch on fire

 - Gross, pathetic male personal ads

 

Brief TLC clip of the boy with no skin flying in a plane

(1:58:26)

 

Happy Tree Friends. Halloween episode

 - Remains To Be Seen. Zombies terrorize the blue moose dude. There's some Evil Dead II parodies here. The moose loses his hand and straps a leaf blower to the stump. Then the hand comes back and attacks him at the end.

 - RFTV. Helmet advertisement. Dumb.

 - Thuh Greenfields. Old Lady spanks hillbilly with wooden paddle. There is creepy and bizarre banter between the two.

 - He's a Good Monkey. Robot in a man's brain gives a tour of the place and talks about the brain's owner.

 - Didn't catch title of this one, but it is some of the Happy Tree Friends going through one of those scary fun house in a cart things. They get killed one by one.

 - Thuh Greenfields. The Greenfields apologize for their behavior in previous skit.

 - Petey and Jaydee. The Curling Wand.

 - Hard Drinkin' Lincoln. Abe is shot at a theater after puking on someone while watching Titanic.

 - Petey and Jaydee. The Hot Rollers

 - Wind Direction. Change in wind direction blows nuclear fallout to a city, where people start to mutate.

 - Out of Sight, Out of Mime. Mime Trick or Treater is decapitated and has head carved like pumpkin.

Yes, Dear. I never watch this show, but I recorded it because it is Big Brother themed. The main character of this show, Jimmy, (he plays Kurt's dad on Glee!) gets on Big Brother. He's in the house with a lot of famous contestants: Marcellas, Dr. Will, Amy, Nathan, Hardy, Alison, Lisa, Jun, Roddy, Justin, and Michelle. Jimmy is totally naïve and amusing with his antics, but he gets nominated by Marcellas next to Alison. Part 2 of this episode is later on in the tape.

INXS with new lead singer JD Fortune performs Pretty Vegas on Craig Ferguson.

(2:33:45)

TV Guide Channel close up on Survivor. Amber talks about keys to winning the game. Rob, Lex, and Colby also comment on the show. Palau contestants interviewed. The date on the screen shows that this was recorded on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 around 10 AM. Duly noted.

Inspiration Time clip. Hilton talks with his pals about a church that was built in a barn. Hilton passes the microphone to one of his friends and continues to talk and no one can hear him. They all have a good laugh about it. Tiny clip of him singing.

Monday Night Classic on ESPN. Vikings at Packers. Otherwise known as the Monday Night Miracle game. Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper are mic'd up, and highlights of the whole game are shown, highlighted by Antonio Freeman's miracle catch.

Cheat on the G4 channel. Strategies and cheats for NES games are featured. Yay! Games featured: Super Mario Bros, The Legend of Zelda, Mega Man.

Commercial for Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, among other commercials.

Cheat (cont). ZANAC cheats, Konami code is discussed, as well as it's conclusion in games like Contra, Gradius, Metal Gear Solid 3, and Silent Hill 3. Strategies and cheats for: Mike Tyson's Punch Out and Zelda (again).

Cinematech: Star Trek video games. Games shown: Star Trek Arcade, Shattered Universe, Starfleet Command III, Invasion, Voyager: Elite Force, DS9: The Fallen, Klingon Honor Guard, Star Trek, 25th Anniversary, The Next Generation, Bridge Commander, Away Team, Hidden Evil, Armada II.

(3:24:38)

Yes, Dear. This is the second part of the Big Brother episode. Jimmy's brother in law sneaks into the house to warn him he's gonna get stabbed in the back, but gets him DQ'd instead.

X-Play. Lego Star Wars reviewed.

Cinematech: Star Wars video games. Games shown: Star Wars: Obi Wan, The Phantom Menace, Starfighter, The Clone Wars, Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars, X-Wing, The Empire Strikes Back, Super Return of the Jedi, Dark Forces II, Lego Star Wars.

VH1 remembers 1989. They talk about The Little Mermaid and its infamous erection scene.

Tiny preview clip of Bucks season. Michael Redd is mentioned, as well as newly drafted rookie center Andrew Bogut. 

(3:57:39)

But Can They Sing. This is some kind of a celebrity singing contest on VH1.

 - Michael Copon sings I Don't Want To Be

Small EW preview of Walk The Line in the commercials

But Can They Sing (cont.)

 - Some guy I don't know sings I'll Be Watching You and sucks

 - Bai Ling sings Like A Virgin and is awful but amazing at the same time

Best of Saturday Night Live

 - Makin' copies guy introduces the show

 - Levi's 3 Legged Jeans commercial

 - The Arakawa Group. Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Schneider, and some other dude, I think it is Phil Hartman, all play Asians who host a talk show and talk smack about Americans.

 - Partridge Family skit. They get into a sing-off with the Brady Bunch.

 - Sensitive Naked Man. He visits a friend and she tells him her problems.

COPS. And ugly fat white lady is caught with drugs and cries. She tries to run, and doesn't get very far. She is very hostile and says she is pregnant and wants to die.

Breaking news report. A small plane crashes and knocks out power lines on Humboldt Blvd. on the east side.

Small clip of Hurley from Lost on some sitcom.

(4:38:37)

Saturday Night Live 80's special

 - Eddie Murphy is discussed

 - Stevie Wonder sings Overjoyed

 - I Married A Monkey

 - Former castmembers discuss old skits and their experiences when they first joined up

 - Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues

 - More cast members talking about the show, and more memorable music performances including Harry Connick Jr.

 - Billy Crystal joins cast. Skit with Hulk Hogan and Mr T is shown, along with other clips

 - Martin Short signs up and cast members talk some more. Blah blah blah.

Clip from the end of a Bucks game where they beat Dallas in Bogut's rookie year. He blocks a game tying shot attempt by Jason Terry at the end of OT to seal the win. LINK, if you can get it to work.

Hilton Griswold clip. Part of the opening of Inspiration time, followed by him giving a shout out to channel 23 in Decatur Illinois. He begins to sing but then the tape goes to something else.

(5:01:01)

Dave Chappelle Show

 - Wac Arnold's commercials

 - Popcopy orientation video. They intentionally give bad customer service.

Vigo Mortensen interviewed on Daily Show. He's a low talker.

Cheat: Conker, Live and Reloaded strategies 

Sly Cooper 3 preview on X-Play

Judge Judy

 - Lady sells her cabin to a couple with the agreement that she can stay there 2 weeks a year. Couple wants to go back on deal, and the lady sues them for lost money because she gave them a deal.

 - Woman sues her ex over money she loaned him for dental work

Crank Yankers

 - Mooshu calls record store. He is looking for Tupac and other rap albums. He says he will bring in Chinese girls and smoke to the store.

News clip on Wauwatosa West principal Tom Steiner dying

Jerry Springer. Man cheats on his girlfriend with his niece and there is lots of fighting. They are white trash. Surprise.

COPS

 - Guy jumps off a bridge 40 to 50 feet and severely injures himself. He had just stabbed a woman.

Jerry Springer. Fat lady shows butt. Questions from the audience. Dude with a talking doll.

G4 visits a Star Trek convention.

X-Play review of the Suffering starts up, but the tape cuts up before it goes anywhere.

 

END OF TAPE

VHS Archive:

Introduction: VHS Tapes and Me

VHS Tape #0: Howard Stern Tape

Funny Mix #1

Funny Cable Tape (2)

Rudy Boesch Mix (3)

Funny Tape (4)

The Ultimate Rupert Boneham Mix (5)

Are You Ready? (6)

Mixed Tape #7

Matteo Tape (8)

Funny If You're a Pothead (9)

John Tape (10)

Funny Mix #11

Crazy Tape of Psychos (12)

Funny Mix #13

Mixed, Jumbled, Confused, Shaken: It's a Record Tape! (14)

Peanut Tape (15)

Can You Dig It? (16)

Another Fantastic Record Tape (17)

Fairplay (18)

Survivor All Stars (19)

This Tape is The Bomb, Dawg (20)

Go Bo! Bo Bice Record Tape (21)

May + June '05 Record Tape (22)

Hooo-what?? (23)

Too Many Reality Shows (24)

Bye Bye Brandon Calhoon and Kaysar (25)

Bad Sound Tape (26)

Marty Rocks + Howie Too (27)

Crazy Ray is Awesome! (28)

For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

>HERE<

Video Game Review #611: Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future

Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future

Sega Dreamcast

Nostalgia Factor:

I first played this game back in the year 2000, shortly after it first came out. Being a big fan of Ecco for the Sega Genesis, I was eager to see how the series would translate to 3D. Immediately, I found myself hooked to this game. It was able to portray the deep sea and the open ocean with exactly the sense of wonder and adventure that I'd been hoping for. Graphically, it was drop dead gorgeous and everything I wanted from a next-gen Ecco game.

As much as I liked the game, I wasn't very good at it. I would play it for hours on end, struggling to get through one simple area. I found the game to be extremely vague at telling you what to do and where to go next. Whereas the Genesis Ecco games were linear and focused, you could get lost in this one very easily. Each level would take me days to get through. It would have been better if I had the Internet to help me when I was stuck. But back in 2000, the Internet was a luxury I was not afforded in my household.

But still, I didn't have anything better to do back then. I was 18. I was fresh out of high school, just sitting around on my butt all the time. I plugged away at this game day after day after day. BUT THEN. I met a girl. You know how young love is. I put the game down and just... never came back to it. She was interested in the Dreamcast, and I think I put on Ecco a few times, just to show off the game's graphics. But I was never able to progress any further. I remember specifically the level I stopped on: the level where Ecco is swimming through a tube full of futuristic gears and grinders.

In the years that have passed since I stopped playing this game, I've tried to come back to it multiple times. In fact, I still have my copy for the Dreamcast. I remember coming back to it shortly before I started this blog, somewhere around 2012 or 2013. I made it to the shark boss fight very early in the game before losing interest in the game. And then a few years later, I tried again. I petered out even faster this time around.

Jump forward to late 2025. As people who have been reading this blog should know, I've been trying to get my five year old son into games. One of the first games I remember showing him was Ecco. He really liked this game, directing me where to swim and what to do. After he went to bed, I continued to play Ecco. I thought to myself: this time I am going to beat the game, darn it.

But again, I ran into trouble. I was having a really hard time getting into the game. Every time I would think "hmm, what am I going to play tonight?" I would immediately try to think of something else to play that was not Ecco. I'd play for a few days. Stop for a week. Play for 20 minutes. Stop for three weeks. Play a couple levels. Come back two months later. Once again, I was on the brink of giving up on Ecco. I just wasn't having a whole lot of fun with it.

Eventually, I had to force myself to buck up and power through it. There's not many games I've been playing since my youth that I haven't completed or finished. I told myself that I needed to beat this game in honor of young me. So after wrapping up the last few games on my to-play list, I came back to Ecco and forced myself to sit down with it, not allowing myself to start another game until Ecco was over.

I'm now glad to say: it's over. Let's move on, shall we?

Story:

As much as I enjoyed the storyline for the first two Ecco games, I couldn't really get into this one. For one reason, I thought this was a continuation of the original Ecco series. It is not. It's a complete reboot with a brand new Ecco. So this threw me off the first time I played this game. I was very confused.

But even coming into the game knowing that it is a brand-new story, I still struggled to truly get into it. The storyline is similar, with time-traveling aliens attacking Earth. But while the original Ecco slowly unraveled this mystery as the game went on, this game beats you over the head with it 10 seconds into the first cutscene.

In the future, humanity and dolphins have teamed up to create a galaxy exploring empire. While exploring the far reaches of the solar system, they become involved in a bitter war against a race of aliens known as The Foe. During battle, the Foe perform a sneak attack on Earth, sending one ship into the atmosphere to travel into the past and alter the timeline so humans and dolphins never team up. Ecco follows the ship into the past. 

This is where things get weird (as if they haven't been weird from the jump). The aliens disrupt "first contact" between humans and dolphins (when dolphins reveal to humans that they've been hiding their intelligence this whole time). This sets a timeline in motion where humanity enslaves the dolphins. Thus sets in motion your journey to defeat The Foe and restore the timeline.

Gameplay:

Ecco's transition from 2D to 3D is not without its warts. The camera can be hard to handle. The swimming controls can be a bit jank. It's hard to adjust yourself or turn around sometimes. I often found myself getting completely stuck in objects within the environment, or trapped in corners where I had to struggle to get myself turned around.

The controls are basic on paper. Action takes place from a behind-the-dolphin perspective. The analog stick points you in the direction you want to go. There's a swim forward button. There's a charge button. There's a sonar button (which you can use to talk to other characters, or hold down to get a map of your immediate surroundings). Other buttons control things like the camera angle. Like most games, there is a health bar on the screen. Unlike most games, there is an oxygen bar next to it. As Ecco is an oxygen-breathing mammal, you will need to emerge from the water to take a deep breath every once in a while. This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who played the first two games in the series.

Neither should the combat. You defeat enemies by charging into them repeatedly. You can also use the charge button to storm little schools of fish. Eating a fish restores some of your health. Additionally, you will use the charge button to shoot yourself out of the water like a cannon. You will need to do this to jump over walls and gain access to new areas. Later on in the game, your swimming and launching skills are put to the ultimate test in the Hanging Waters stages. But we'll get to that very soon.

As you play through the game, you will unlock special powers, such as extra health/oxygen boosts, which last for a limited amount of time. There's a power up that increases your charge damage. There's another one that grants you the power of invisibility. Yet another power up makes it so your sonar damages enemies.

One of the reasons I got stuck is because the game almost never directs you where to go. I was surprised at how quickly I had to turn to the internet to get help on how to proceed. I think the game would have been better off making the first few stages linear. Instead, they are interconnected and you can travel back and forth between them. This made it super hard to figure out if I was in the right area or going the correct way. Later on in the game, the levels are linear and are not interconnected. I have no idea why they had to do this right in the beginning of the game.

Back when I was a teen, I powered my way through this area because I had nothing better to do with my time. I could play for 6 hours straight and scour every inch of each stage. That was the only way I made it through, because like I said, I didn't have access to the Internet back then. I'm honestly shocked I had made it as far as I did, because some of these stages are freaking brutal in their obscurity and lack of general direction. And then throw in a lot of really super cheap deaths on top of things. Luckily, I have the Internet here in present times to turn to when I am stuck. I don't have the luxury of being able to sink 6 hours into a game each day. But even with exact step-by-step instructions for what to do in each stage, I still struggled. 

This game is hard. There is no way around it. Even when you know exactly what it is you need to do, it can still be difficult to accomplish due to the awkward mechanics. That early battle with the shark: again, I don't know how I beat it when I was younger. On my current playthrough, I switched over from the Dreamcast to my Retropie and used save states once I saw how tough this game was going to be. And even then, it still took me like an hour and a bunch of reloading old saves to micromanage my way through the shark battle. But using save states turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. This game can be really cheap with its constant deaths via surprise attacks by things like hidden eels and shit. 

People like to talk about the Genesis Ecco games being soooo difficult. Those people need to play this game. Now THIS is hard. It makes the Genesis games look like a walk in the park. For the most part, the difficulty is manageable if you plug away at the game and sink a lot of time into it. But there are some stages at the end of the game (the aforementioned Hanging Waters stages) that are downright diabolical. I don't know how anyone could have made it through these stages without going completely insane. They are like the Tides of Time water tube stages, but in 3D. You have to be exactly precise with every jump. One missed jump either sends you to your death, or down to an area where you have to make multiple difficult jumps in a row to get back to where you were. And that's just for one shot at getting it right again. Using save states, it sometimes took me 15 to 20 attempts to make just one jump. Luckily, I could just load it right up again and try again. But if I was playing on original hardware? There is no way I would have had the patience for this. It's insane.

Graphics:

You can't knock this game's graphics. It's amazing that this game is already over 25 years old. It looks great. I don't think I've played a game that portrays ocean life so vibrantly. The colors are bright and beautiful. The ocean floors are full of coral reefs and starfish. There are whales, sharks, and schools of fish swimming around. The full wonders of the ocean are on display.

As the game progresses, it gets darker and more science fiction oriented. It feels more grim and isolated. You'll be swimming through a lot of metallic underground structures. There will be lights, electricity, that kind of thing. It is very atmospheric and moody. Towards the end of the game, things brighten up again with the Hanging Waters stages. As much as I like to knock the difficulty of these levels, they are freaking gorgeous visually. Google a video of these levels if you have to. You'll see why I am so impressed that this game is over 25 years old. There weren't many games that looked like this back in the year 2000.

Sound:

This game's music is all about creating an immersive atmosphere. It can be majestic when you are swimming in the open ocean, being blown away by all the amazing visual sights. It can be dark and brooding when you are swimming through a dark tunnel at the bottom of the ocean.

That said, this isn't really a game you play expecting to hear any catchy tunes. Nothing from this game went onto any of my gaming music playlists. It's all about atmosphere.

Overall:

I really wish I liked this game more than I do. I enjoyed the Genesis Ecco titles. I beat them a bunch of times as a kid. I can pick them up and play them at any time and have a good time with them. This game, however? I am never playing this again. Ever.

I'm not saying this is a bad game. It's just not a particularly fun one. There's a reason it took me 26 years to complete it. There's no direction. Your goals are never made clear. You can wander each stage for 4 hours looking for where the hell you are supposed to go next. That isn't fun. You almost have to turn to the Internet for help. GameFAQs and YouTube videos were my friend as I played this game. I am sure there are people who have beaten this without outside help who are reading this and looking down on me from their high pedestal. But if you are reading this: you are few and far between. 

And then throw in the annoying difficulty challenges in the game. Running out of air. Enemies that kill you with one hit. Annoying boss battles. Chase sequences that demand exact perfection. That Hanging Waters bullshit. These frustrating segments suck the fun right out of a game that was already struggling in the fun department to begin with. You know what I don't like to do? Play through long segments of the game that I've already played through before after dying. This game is full of that crap. Another reason I'm happy I switched over to the Retropie from the Dreamcast for this review. So I could use save states. Even then, this game still felt like "homework" half the time. Whenever I would look for a game to sit down and spend the night with, I would never want to pick this. That's why this one playthrough of the game took me over 6 months.

I feel like I'm really dogging on this game. When all is said and done, I don't feel like I necessarily hated the game or anything. There's a lot to love: the setting, the concept, the visuals, the immersive nature of the game, etc. I like the idea of a 3D Ecco the Dolphin game. But the execution of this particular game just did not do it for me. It may do it for other people, but not for me. Which is a shame, because I loved the Genesis titles and I always try to be positive about Ecco when I speak about it online, because I want people to go out and play it.

But they don't need to play this one. 

THE GRADE:

D+

For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

>HERE<

Video Game Review #610: Metroid Prime

Metroid Prime

GameCube

Nostalgia Factor:

Growing up, I only played one Metroid game in my entire life: the original NES classic. I sort of liked the game, but I would always end up getting stuck after a few hours of playing it and then I would give up on it. It seems I liked the idea of Metroid, but the game itself never really stuck with me. I was probably too young for the game at the time. 

Fast forward to 2002. I was 20 years old. At this point in my life, my only experience with Metroid was still with the original when I was a kid. And then I read about Metroid Prime in the video gaming magazines. It looked like a great game, and I was very interested in playing it. But I didn't have a GameCube. Let's fast forward again, this time to the year 2004. I was now a proud GameCube owner. Eternal Darkness and Resident Evil were the first GameCube games I would buy. But as time would pass, I would start looking for something new to play. And that's when I got my hands on Metroid Prime.

It's funny how the human memory works. I have so many thoughts and images that float through my mind when I think of my life back then. Walking an hour and a half to Best Buy in the sweltering heat to buy this game. Walking back home, which took me another hour and a half. I remember thumbing through the manual as I walked on the sidewalk. As I was walking past a gas station, a car that had been parked at the pump suddenly hit the gas, and nearly ran me over on the sidewalk. It was a cop car. No lights, no flashers, nothing. It was really strange. I just kind of looked at them like "what the hell?" and kept walking. Whenever I think back on Metroid Prime, this random memory always pops in my head.

This was during a time in my life that I haven't ever really talked about with anyone. I had just broken up with my first serious girlfriend Colleen, and I had moved back home with my mom. I technically never officially moved out, as I still had a bedroom and everything. I remember during this time, I had two jobs and I worked a lot of hours. My favorite hobby was meeting chicks on the Internet (this was 2004, back when this was a brand new and exciting thing). I also drank a lot and smoked a lot of pot. In fact, another thing I associate with this game is the taste of Goldschlager. Whenever it was that I was done having fun and trying to score for the night, I'd then pop this game in and stay up to the wee hours of the night playing it. 

It was around this time that I would meet Jessica, who became my second serious girlfriend after Colleen. She was into gaming, which was a big plus. She would come over and we would play a lot of stuff on the GameCube together, like this game and Eternal Darkness. By the time I met her, I had essentially gotten stuck and lost interest in Metroid Prime, just like I did with the original NES game. I had come to the conclusion that Metroid just wasn't for me. But her interest in the game made me get re-interested in it. I started up a new game, and this time I was serious about beating it. So funny: I thought it would impress her or something. I remember going to the library and printing off online guides from Gamefaqs and bringing them home so I could beat the game. Ah, good times.

Over the years, I have only returned to complete Metroid Prime again one other time: back in, I wanna say 2012? It was only a few years before I started this blog. I bought Metroid Prime Trilogy for the Wii, and I played through the first game using the motion controls. I never got to move onto Prime 2 or 3, as the Wii stopped reading the disc for some reason. I even have 2 Wiis, and it would not work on either one.

Lately I've been wanting to revisit the Prime series since I've never actually reviewed one of them before. But there was one problem: I couldn't get the stinking Prime Trilogy collection disc to work. I had foolishly traded in my physical copies of Prime 1 and 2 because I thought I didn't need them since I had the Trilogy collection. But now that the Trilogy disc wouldn't work, I had no way to play any Metroid Prime games. I still lament the day I traded my copies of the original games in. I've been looking for ways to emulate them, but my technical knowledge is not very good, and I was never able to find a way to do it without the game crashing in the first three minutes. So, as someone who doesn't own a Switch, I kind of gave up on ever playing this game again. 

... until I found a copy of it at a used CD store! It was 20 bucks and as soon as I saw it, I knew I had to buy it immediately. The circle of physical gaming is funny, isn't it? I buy a game, I get another copy of it, I trade it in, my other copy stops working, and then I have to buy another copy again.

After finishing The Legend of Dragoon (the last game I reviewed), I immediately fired up Metroid Prime. And man oh man, let me tell you. I forgot how much I loved this game. I went from "oh okay I guess I'll play Metroid Prime" to "OMG this game is awesome and I can't wait to play more!" in about three minutes.

I suppose I've bored you enough with this incredibly long prologue. Let's jump into my full review.

Story:

Alright, so we're leading off with my least favorite part of this game: its story. If you want a truly detailed recap of the game's storyline, go read a Wikipedia summary or something. I'm not about that life.

What I can do, and what I do for all my game reviews, is tell you the story from my experience. I haven't re-read the manual, I haven't looked on Wikipedia, and I skipped over most of the Chozo Lore sections in the game. Plus, I was dicking around on my cell phone as I was playing. Like I said, if you're looking for a detailed plot summary, you've come to the wrong place. Some reviewer I am, right? Someone should make a blog where they review all their favorite blogs and put mine dead last because of this.

Anyway, you're Samus. You're going into this scientific base in outer space to root out the space pirates, who have taken it over. The base explodes, damaging Samus's power suit. Samus gets to her ship and chases a mechanical version of Ridley down to the surface of the planet Tallon IV. While on the surface of the planet, Samus learns of a powerful destructive force known as Phazon. Phazon wiped out the planet's inhabitants decades ago. That's why the Space Pirates are here, to try and harvest the Phazon. Of course, it hasn't gone well for the Space Pirates.

The goal of the game is to unlock the meteor crash site that brought the Phazon to Tallon IV. Once you've done this, you must battle the evil creature at the heart of the Phazon infestation, Metroid Prime. Then Samus leaves and is like okay byyyyye! 

If you manage to 100% the game, there is a bonus cutscene at the end that shows an evil Samus clone being formed out of the Phazon. I've played Metroid Prime 2 (a long time ago) and I remember the Samus clone being a major antagonist. Can't wait to find a way to play that game again someday! Hopefully it's not another 10+ years before I can get my hands on a copy.

Gameplay:

When this game originally came out, a lot of people were concerned if Metroid could work from a first person perspective. I was one of them. But none of us had anything to worry about. It far exceeded even my humble expectations.

Coming into it in 2026, it is just as good as it was when it first came out. That's the sign of a truly great game. I was hooked three minutes into the game. Everything comes together perfectly. The looks, the atmosphere, the controls. I don't know how you could play this and not get sucked right into it immediately.

The controls are very good. Samus jumps and runs around very smoothly. Jumping could have been a challenge in a first person game like this, but it is perfect here. It is very forgiving. Everything is explained pretty well in the first segment of the game, which acts as the de facto tutorial. How to shoot, how to scan, how to lock on, how to use the morph ball, etc. By the time you actually land on the surface of Tallon IV, you should have a pretty strong understanding of how the game works. 

You aren't given much direction. You get out of your ship. You have a few different doors you can go into. You just pick a direction and go. You'll either run into a dead end, and you'll have to backtrack - or you'll go the right way and open up more doors and alternate ways to go. The game is essentially a giant maze. You use the map to go to areas you haven't explored yet. You find hidden power-ups and suit upgrades. These suit upgrades (double jump, power bomb, etc) allow you to access areas you may have noticed earlier in the game, requiring you to backtrack. The game does a fairly decent job nudging you in the right direction, highlighting areas of the map where "unusual activity" is detected. Even if you get lost, you still have at least somewhat of an idea of where to go next. I was actually surprised as I played through the game this time around, because I didn't really get stuck much or have to turn to the internet for help. It's a lot less confusing than my memories made it out to be.

What makes this game good is that it is fun. There's something thrilling about making progress through this uncharted alien world, uncovering secrets and hidden paths along the way. The game often gives you that wonderful feeling of accomplishment whenever you figure something out. Partner this with great graphics, controls, and music, and this game is pretty much the complete package.

As I was playing through this, I was rolling along and having a great time. I was like "man, this is easily going to get an A+ when I review it!" But then I ran into what I consider to be the darkest point of the game. The game intentionally leads you on a path down into this sunken ship (from the beginning of the game). Navigating this area is tough, and somewhat cumbersome. Just when you think you're finally about to pass through it and get out of dodge, the game hits you with "you need a certain power up before you can proceed any further" and then it turns you around. You have to make your way allllll the way back and out of the sunken ship, and look for the underwater double jump power-up which is hidden basically on the other side of the fucking map. I was so irritated.

And then shortly after, there is an area where you descend into the mines. There is a particularly long stretch that's filled with difficult battles. And there are no save points. You get to this weird, floating cloud mist enemy, an enemy type you've NEVER encountered before and have no idea how to beat. I died when I fought this thing, and I had to again go alllll the way back in the game, this time to my last save point. I think I died one or two more times trying to get back to where I was before. I remember having to turn the game off out of frustration after the second death. It was several hours of wasted time.

But once you get through that part of the game, it goes back to being enjoyable again. It wasn't long before I was rolling along once again, thinking "hmm maybe the game has redeemed itself and it's an A+ again!" I guess we'll have to think about that. I make these reviews up as I go along. I still haven't decided if this is an A or an A+. I've got until I'm done writing about the game's graphics and sound to decide.

Graphics:

The GameCube is a fairly underrated system when it comes to graphics. Metroid Prime is a great example of this. It looks like it could have come out on the PS3 or PS4. That's pretty impressive for a 24 year old game.

What makes the game look so good is how atmospheric it is. It really sets the tone at the start of the game as you are going through that passage in space with the force field walls. And then you explore the space station and see all the consoles and lights. And then you turn into the morph ball and its shiny metallic shell and glowing insides. It's just super cool to look at. It's sleek. And the physics of the ball are impressive as well.

The planet of Tallon IV is filled with all kinds of unusual alien wildlife. The game creators essentially had to create this entire ecosystem for the game, and I love it. I also love when you pick up a power up and the camera zooms in and Samus lights up as the energy flows through her. I like when you reach a save point and Samus is scanned by the laser beams. It's just all so freaking cool. The science fiction aspect of the game is on point.

Sound:

The game not only looks the part, it sounds the part as well. The music is great. You'll recognize a lot of little callbacks to the original Metroid game, like the music that plays when you load your game or get a weapon upgrade. The game's original music is nice, as well. It's got an upbeat, jazzy/techno feel to it. Really fits the look and feel of the game. Reminds me a tad of the music from the game Alien Trilogy, which shouldn't be too surprising considering Alien was an inspiration for Metroid.

The sound effects fit right in, as well. Everything sounds great: the sound when you charge your weapon, the sound when you shoot, even the little sound it makes when you double jump. Enemies make noises that let you know when they are in your area. It always helps to keep your ears open as well as your eyes. 

All in all, everything feels really subdued and chill most of the time. It fits the futuristic sci-fi feel of the game perfectly. Combined, it makes for one heck of an interactive experience.

Overall:

I really needed this. I haven't been enamored by the other games I've been playing lately (Legend of Dragoon, Ecco: Defender of the Future, etc). I was in a major lull when it comes to video games. And then I played this. It completely broke me out of that lull. I played it pretty much nonstop for several days straight, until I beat the game.

It's such a fun experience. I enjoyed exploring every inch of the world map, and looking for hidden secrets. I enjoyed upgrading my character and learning new moves. I enjoyed all the diverse locations of the game, ranging from a rainy tropical area to a lava filled cave to a snowy base. I never wanted to put the game down.

All that being said, this isn't a flawless experience. The backtracking can be a bit much sometimes. Save areas in certain points in the game are inconveniently placed. It can be frustrating going down one path or investing a bunch of time and energy into something only for it to turn out to be a dead end. The final boss was also quite annoying. I know a lot of people like the final boss, but I thought it was one of the worst things about the game. I died a whole bunch of times playing it. It is a super long fight broken up into several segments. When you die, you go back to the last save point and have to not only make it all the way back to the final boss, but do the whole thing over again. The other bosses, though, are pretty fun to play. But that last one sucks.

Alright, moment of truth. I can't hide any longer. A or A+? That is the question.

Hmm...

Well, I gave Metroid Fusion an A+. That is my highest scoring Metroid game so far. Did I like this more than Fusion? Oh yeah. A lot more. So that means it deserves an A+, right?

Yeah. Actually it does. Let's not overcomplicate things. This is an all-time great game. It is my personal favorite Metroid game of all time, and it may very well be my favorite GameCube game of all time. I love it. I know there is a recently remastered version of the game for the Switch that fixes a lot of things and adds some quality of life improvements. I don't have a Switch, so I won't be playing it anytime soon, but I'm going to guess that that version of the game is the definitive version, and the one that should be played if you have the means to do so.

But this game. This is the one that started it all. I can't say enough great things about it. I try to be discerning about handing out A+s. It's not often I give out a perfect score. But the fact that I feel zero regrets about doing so tells me I am making the right move here.

THE GRADE:

A+

For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

>HERE<