(00:00:00)
Jamie Kennedy Xperiment
- Porta Poop skit. Jamie strolls up and down the beach with what looks like a bucket surrounded by a shower curtain. He charges people to use the bathroom without having to get up and walk to the outhouse. An old woman uses the Porta Poop but doesn't have enough money to wipe (it's an extra dollar for toilet paper). A black guy with a Magic jersey gives the lady a dollar. Jamie buries the poop in the sand, and the dude in the Magic jersey gets disgusted and gets up to leave. Jamie then announces that he has been Xed.
- A young man tries out at a water park to become the new mascot. He must compete with someone else for the job. When the guy he is competing with passes out, he is ready to put him in a wheel barrow and dump him in the parking lot to get rid of him.
(00:09:25)
South Park. This is the episode where Kyle's cousin Kyle comes to visit. Mr Garrison creates "It".
MXC - City Kids vs Country Kids
- Great Escape From Foster Care
- Sinkers and Floaters
- Irritable Bowl Syndrome. Vicky Babaganoosh is in this segment, and scores a point.
- Rotating Surfboard of Death
(00:46:03)
MXC - Inventors vs Former Child Stars
- Get Over It
- Sinkers and Floaters
- Door Jamb
*there are commercials in between MXC segments. Was I asleep while recording this? It's funny, one of the commercials features Darren Sharper when he was with the Packers. Now he just rapes people.*
MXC (cont)
- Le Tour De Grand Prix
- Log Drop
Pat McCurdy commercial. WMLW means Milwaukee!
Extra
-Sue Hawk from Survivor gets a makeover
- Superstar USA preview
Survivor All Star F4 appears on the View
Superstar USA. Jamie wins! I don't know why I have this on the tape before the beginning of the show, but ok.
Survivor: All Stars. This is the episode where Rupert wins the million dollar prize. I have this on the All Stars DVD set, so I won't bother recapping.
(1:53:20)
Clip from the Nick and Jessica Variety Hour. You can barely hear what's going on.
Cops
- Crazy drugged up lady with a black winter hat on is put into the back of a squad car and breaks down, trying to kick the windows out. She is pulled out of the car, wrestled to the ground, and arrested.
Superstar USA - audition round. The picture is bad here.
- Mario sings "Celebrate"
- "Like a Virgin" montage
- Terrible guy sings "Alone" by Heart
- You can get with this or you can get with that
- Fat guy sings "Mony Mony"
- Funny looking guy named Richard with a weird bumpy head and a skullet. LMAO!
- Nina Diva!
(2:22:50)
AFV
- Funny clips made funnier by being played backwards
- AFV Fairy Tales. These are funny clips where images of the host's head are glued on to people who are having mishaps.
COPS
- Cops investigate a parked car where a couple of brothers are hanging out. The owner of the car tries to run, but is chased down and arrested. When the vehicle is searched, a plate with cocaine on it is found.
- Cops search a field where a man is hiding. They find him and arrest him. Drugs are found in his bag. He used to have a family and a nice life, but drugs ruined everything. Sad story.
- Peeping tom is caught looking into windows. He struggles while being arrested and has to be taken down.
- Cops try to help out a tattooed guy whose car has broken down. He runs and is hit with the baton, tackled and arrested. Syringes are found in his car.
- Police respond to a domestic call. An irate Mexican guy flails wildly, struggles, and is arrested. The woman who called the cops is yelling in the background: "I just wanted them to talk to you, baby! Calm down." She says baby a lot. The cop in this clip is nerdy and awesome.
(2:56:00)
Austin City Limits: Ben Kweller
Superstar USA - this is a later round in the competition. Players must sing songs from movies.
- Jamie sings "My Heart Will Go On"
- John Michael sings "Eye of the Tiger"
- The flamboyant Jojo sings "Footloose"
- Nina Diva sings a song from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome
- At the end of the show, 4 people go home, including Nina Diva. So sad.
Maury Povich
- Fat ugly, half naked mom runs out on stage and dances. She's given a makeover.
- Woman comes clean to her boyfriend that she's really wearing a wig and is bald.
- 15 year old ghetto slut is pregnant and addicted to sex. She comes back to the show after the baby is born and makes a boy take a paternity test. He isn't the father.
- HIV positive young black girl named Precious comes onto the show
Moral Court clip. Boring.
Maury (cont)
- Young black guy who had lost a chunk of his skull comes on the show. He talks like a retarded person but otherwise seems to be ok.
- Another paternity test.
- Young black boy covered in scabs. He looks like a lizard.
Hilton Griswold clip. He walks to a piano while reading from a piece of paper. Unfortunately I didn't get any singing.
(3:44:03)
Seinfeld. This is the episode where Jerry and Elaine spot George's dad talking to a man in a cape. Jerry dates Donna Chang and is surprised to find that she isn't Asian. George's parents want a divorce.
COPS
- Drug stings. Guys selling drugs to undercover officers are arrested. Meh. These kind of clips are getting old.
- Police are called about a dispute at a strip club. A guy's car is getting towed. The girlfriend of the guy is in the strip club trying to quickly dance for money to get the car released.
- Car is pulled over with a white boy in it who had been smoking pot
*commercials*
COPS - Jersey Cop episode
- Man is caught smoking pot in an apartment stairwell, and calls the cop "Papi" many times
- Young white couple is pulled over while driving through the projects looking to buy heroin
Maury Povich
- Fat black girl who dresses too seductively is made over
- Dirty, pizza making mom is made over
- Woman is reunited with her long lost love after 15 years
- Old hillbilly grandfather with a long beard is made over
- Little girl with extremely frizzy hair is made over
Another Maury episode. This one is all about paternity results and lie detector tests. I won't bother recapping too much since they do this lame shit all the time. One of the clips is about a 42 year old woman who is married to a 14 year old boy. There is also a fat little kid who is only three years old and 117 pounds.
END OF TAPE
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