This is another tape of random recorded stuff, named after the one and only Johnny Fairplay.
(00:00:00)
Cops
- Guy is held up by a robber but beats the crap out of him. The robber is lying on the ground in a pool of blood and the man is freaking out because he thinks he killed him.
- Police come to settle a domestic dispute between two obnoxious African American people. The male half of the argument is cuffed and arrested for striking the female. As they are outside talking, a drunk white guy comes staggering down the sidewalk carrying a can of beer. He is arrested too.
Mad TV. This is a Halloween episode.
- Stuart trick or treats. He goes into a woman's house to use the bathroom and comes out playing with a pair of undies. He also does the "look what I can do!" thing many times. When he finally leaves the house, the next trick or treater is a blonde girl with mental problems.
- Dad freaks out because his daughter is going to the prom with Kiss. The sound takes a poop in the middle of this skit but it gets better afterwards.
- Michael Jackson is revealed to be the Scream killer and battles with Kiss
- Dumb Little Nestor skit
(00:30:39)
Crank Yankers
- Woman gets an anonymous singing telegraph, and the words are really creepy and desperate
- Little girl calls a store looking to get a credit card and argues with the man on the line when he won't give her one because she's only 8 years old
- Guy calls retirement home looking to recruit some seniors for an adult video
- Radio DJs trick a woman into thinking that a delivery driver was on the way to her house to deliver 200 pounds of scallops
- Old man Elmer calls a whorehouse looking to plan a reunion. He says lots of funny sexual things.
- Woman calls plastic surgery office looking to get all kinds of cosmetic work done on her 11 year old
(00:46:09)
Maury Povich. Woman slaps and abuses a mentally handicapped child who she is watching, and it is all caught on hidden camera.
Family Matters. Carl tries to be manly and fix the roof when it gets a hole in it. Lots of shenanigans ensue, and Eddie falls through the whole. Urkel tries to impress Laura by climbing the rope in gym class and uses a jetpack to do so. Carl falls off the roof and drags the toolbox down on top of him. At the end Urkel crashes through the roof and breaks it again with his jetpack.
Mad TV
- Lowered Expectations - Angry bald black guy
- Small Claims Court. This is like a spoof of People's Court. The defendant's parents are unruly and disturb everyone
- Lowered Expectations - Angry black guy returns, and is mad no one is returning his ad. He even interrupts someone else's ad, he's so angry.
(1:17:17)
COPS
- Truck with no headlights on is pulled over at night. Inside are two trashy old white guys who say that they were driving with no lights on because the battery was dying. The dashboard is covered in trash... and the police are disgusted because you can barely even see over all of the junk. They make the guys clean it up, and then their truck dies. The cops let them go and say that they are just down on their luck.
- Older black man tries to run from the cops, but is tackled to the ground. "I'm an old man, I'm an old man" he yells. He had a gun and stolen property on him. He also pees himself.
Fear Factor reality edition. Ethan Zohn Jenna Morasca, Nikki McKibbin, Omarosa, and other contestants compete. There is a lot of boring chatter between the host and the players.
- First event, they have to hang from a rope and grab flags as they shimmy across it. Nikki wins for the girls and the Bachelorette dude wins for the guys.
- The contestants trash talk Omarosa
- Second stunt is very complex. They have to spit up and eat worm guts, among other things. Reichen is eliminated for the guys, and Jenna is eliminated for the girls. The only girl I have on film doing the task is Omarosa.
- The third task is for a reward. The players are locked in a cage that spins in and out of the water. They must unlock the locks and escape fastest to win. Nobody can do it.
- For the fourth task, the players must drive a car over a ramp that is mounted on a moving vehicle. The Bachelorette guy wins
(2:48:36)
Crank Yankers
- Weird Asian guy responds to a personal ad for a house sitter and the person who answers is a young boy named Kevin who screws around with the guy
- Guy delivers singing telegram to a woman working at a nursing home. The song is from an old man. She laughs hysterically.
- Guy calls a man looking to buy his adult videos, and the man tries to pick him up
MXC. Motor Sports vs Postal
- Dead Letter Zone
- Foul Balls
- Irritable Bowl Syndrome. Blaze Babaganoosh is in this segment.
- Log Drop. Blaze Babaganoosh goes again and makes it across.
Crank Yankers
- Woman calls looking for a housekeeping job and the guy who answers says "Wow!" all the time
- Elmer the old man calls a bus station's lost and found looking for his pacemaker
- Trippy Special Ed clip where he's flying through some kind of weird dream land
- A guy named Doctor Premise, who has to talk through a robot voice thingy like Stephen Hawking, calls a speech therapist and propositions him
- Singing telegram guy calls a woman who works at a dry cleaner
- Kevin calls a magic store and asks why so many magicians are gay, in addition to other oddball questions
- Black mom calls a charm school looking to get her daughter into the school
American Idol 4 top 16 elimination show.
- Recap of the previous night
- Travis and Nikko are eliminated
- Janay and Amanda are eliminated
- The top 12 dance for the camera
(3:48:05)
South Park. Mr Garrison gets a sex change, which inspires Kyle to have a "negroplasty" to become a tall black kid so he can be better at basketball. This inspires Kyle's dad to have a "dolphinoplasty", which surgically alters him to look like a dolphin. In the end they all change back.
Family Matters. Mother Winslow becomes engaged to Fuller, much to Carl's chagrin. Steve, Waldo, and Eddie go out on a fire escape during a party and it spins around and almost falls down.
Family Matters. This is the episode where Mother Winslow gets married. Carl wants an extravagant wedding, and clashes with everyone on ideas.
(4:50:12)
MXC. Courtroom vs Rodeo
- Crossing the Pee-O Grande
- Wall Buggers
- Little Man In The Boat. Kazmanak Babaganoosh goes here, and scores.
- Clear Sphere Of Fear
MXC Couples Edition. Unfortunately, there is no Babaganoosh in this segment. The names of the events are altered in the theme of it being couples edition.
- Plank Spankers
- The "Romantic" Rotating Surfboard of Death
- Hot Steaming Bowl of Love (Irritable Bowl Syndrome)
- The Sticky Stuff of Love (Wall Bangers)
- Brass Balls "of Love"
Short clip of a CNN news story about famous actors lending their voices to video games
(5:28:24)
Very short news clip about Gene Keady retiring at Purdue. I loved his hair.
Some show about crazy police chases, narrated by John Bunnell
- Gang members in a green van lead the cops on a high speed pursuit. Some of the gang members jump out and surrender. Eventually it hits spike strips and the two people still in the car are arrested.
- Cops chase a car that drove away without paying for gas, and it crashes
- Stolen car chased at high speeds. It crashes into oncoming traffic.
- Two drunkards in a fast car lead a cop on a high speed chase and almost lose him several times, but they keep losing control of the car. They go out of their way to hit signs and mailboxes. Eventually the car crashes and the suspects are arrested.
- Vehicle is chased late at night. It hits spike strips but keeps going. The cops try to pit maneuver it and it doesn't work. He is persistent, Eventually the suspect gets out of the car, throws away a gun, tries to break into another car only to see that he cant, and gets into his old car and drives off again. Eventually the car can't go anymore and he's arrested.
Zaza Pachulia makes comments about the Milwaukee Bucks
TV Guide channel show where they talk about the American Idol 4 contestants. They praise Anwar's performance of "What a Wonderful World" and also discuss Simon's insult of Ryan Seacrest. They also make mention of Janay's bad performance, and show who was voted out.
(5:45:52)
America's Most Talented Kids, hosted by Dave Coulier
- Little girl named Alessandra who looks like a singing robot doll, belts out Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston
- Tap dancing boy
- 14 year old country girl sings a song
- Young black boy sings My Girl and the judges love it
- 15 year old girl sings Falling by Alicia Keys
- Alessandra is revealed as the winner
Very short clip of the police chase show, where a motorcycle is getting chased at high speeds
END OF TAPE
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