It has been a while since I've posted the contents of one of my VHS tapes. A little over three years, in fact. This is VHS tape #10. If you don't know what that means, I posted links to past VHS tape contents at the bottom of this blog entry.
This tape is from 2004. I was working at a gas station and I was obsessed with this cranky little old man who used to work there, who people referred to as Little John. I liked him so much I named this tape after him. The sub title for the tape is: "Box or soft? Eh? All these darn twenties.... bag?" Those were all his famous catchphrases when ringing people up, although it is disappointing that I didn't think to put his famous "Q!!!" (for thank you) on the label. Okay, off we go!
START OF TAPE
(00:00:00)
Street Smarts. This is continued from the last tape. Jerri and Alex from Survivor square off. Alex ends up winning by a narrow margin. Yay!
America's Funniest People- The Jackalope! Fast as fast can be, you'll never catch me! OMG. In this clip, an old man at a beach tries to chase after the Jackalope.
Live video feed of fish in an aquarium at the Milwaukee County Zoo.
COPS
- An old man who looks like Santa Claus is caught driving a stolen car
Mad TV
- Fake Kobe Bryant shoe commercial
- Stewart interacts with a vacuum cleaner salesman
- Marilyn Manson sings Personal Jesus
SNL. There's only one clip here. Liam Neeson plays a hippy who lost his weed, and tries to get the police to loan him a drug sniffing dog so he can find it.
Spongebob Squarepants movie promo on Extra. Also, a Friends season 8 DVD collection preview.
Clip from the end of a Packers game. Ryan Longwell kicks a field goal to beat the Vikings 34-31. Brett Favre celebrates.
Jay Leno: Headlines. Love these!
(00:30:23)
COPS
- Hyper Jamaican dude is arrested.
Hey! Spring of Trivia. This is a bizarre dubbed Japanese show that features many unusual things.
- It is revealed that in ancient Japan, people were hired by royalty to take the blame for their farts. "It was I who farted."
- Meowing frogs
- It is revealed that artificial teeth were indeed made of wood way back in the day. An old toothless man tests out an ancient pair of wooden dentures. Ew.
- A Belgian museum exhibit honors a boy peeing on a bomb to put it out.
- Japanese people talk about kicking their shoes off. They get a soccer player to kick his shoe off and it goes 108 feet.
Clip from Girl, Interrupted. This is the scene where "End of the World" by Skeeter Davis is playing, and Winona Ryder walks in on the girl who killed herself.
(00:57:44)
Ken Jennings from Jeopardy interviewed by Barbara Walters. This is after he finally lost and had his streak snapped.
The TV Guide Channel visits the set of Lost. Charlie is interviewed.
The Learning Channel health show.
- A foreign man named Jose has a flap of skin on his face connected to his chest. Doctors are forced to remove it.
- Obese couple has gastric bypass surgery and loses a ton of weight.
Jump Cuts
- Movies are parodied
- Guy rambles on about stupid shit while he draws. Yawn.
- Condom commercial that trashes Carrot Top
Discovery Health show
- Bloody and gross intestinal surgery is performed after a police officer is shot in the gut.
Jump Cuts
- Red nosed animated man sings opera while his face morphs. This is trippy and pretty cool, I will admit.
COPS
- Two white guys are arrested after police find crack pipes in their car. The driver claims he was just driving the other dude around to find drugs.
(1:24:25)
Funny pet clips on the Animal Planet
- A duck and a dog go at it
- Dogs chase after bowling ball
- Bird that says peek a boo
- Dogs and water
- Funny reporter interactions with animals
- Man knocked over by running deer
- Animal brushing tips
- Dog pees on woman sitting on the ground
- Squirrel crawls all over woman at a birthday party
- Llama spits in man's face
- Animals getting along with other animals
- Funny catnip commercial
- Ostrich chases vehicle
- Attention seeking llama
- Frog scratches itself, and it looks like it's fixing its hair
- Dancing animals
- Adorable dog climbs into boy's lap
- Dogs chase each other in a circle around the room over and over again
- Polar bear plays with giant red ball
- Dogs watching TV
(1:43:48)
Motormouth on VH1. This is a show where hidden cameras record people singing in their cars. I totally forgot about this show! I think this shit might be fake, because one of the people singing is a mustachioed guy that I remember from the farting chair episode of Spy TV. What are the chances the same person would be pranked on multiple hidden camera shows? There is also a loud, obnoxious blonde.
COPS
- The police respond to a call made by some young lesbians. They are fighting and one of the lesbians pukes on the other one's car. Intentionally.
- Dogs escape from a yard and kill the neighbor's cats. The owner of the dogs, an Asian woman, comes home while the dogs are being taken away.
Highlights from a Marquette/Wisconsin college basketball game. Travis Diener is discussed.
(2:03:48)
COPS
- Possible stolen vehicle is pulled over. The driver tries to run but gets taken down. Then he tries to lie about the whole thing. Genius.
- This is from Albequerque and features the same cop from the Rudy clip a few tapes back. A transexual is questioned for being a public nuisance. "I'm sorrrrrry! Can you release meeeee? Excuse my beauty!" It's great. Here is the link to the video:
COPS
- John stings. First two clips feature white men in cars who are arrested. Then a black man on foot is arrested for patronizing a prostitute, and he pretends like he doesn't know what that means. "I ain't patronize nothing!"
- Cops organize a raid on a crack house, Crack is found in the sink while basketball plays on the TV
Mad TV. This clip features a spoof on the Weakest Link. It's called the Missing Link, and is a gameshow featuring monkeys. And Lorraine.
(2:33:00)
Maury Povich
- Crazy looking deformed boy is giddy with excitement after getting free tickets and NY Giants paraphernalia
The Ken Jennings interview again. Oops.
Maury Povich
- Four year old boy named Jordan weighs 140 pounds. He sings "Old McDonald"
- Black woman overfeeds her 8 month old, morbidly obese son. She says she chews food up and mashes it up for him. Ewwwwww!
- Another overweight child. She is 2 years old and 75 pounds.
- More overweight children
- Jessica is at the end. She is 5 years old and 222 pounds.
MXC. Romance vs Firearms
- Great Holes of Glory
- Dope on a Rope
- Skid Markers
- Wall Buggers. Barney Babaganoosh is the very last contestant.
(3:10:25)
MXC. Snack Food vs Print Media
- Slippery Slope of Death
- Door Jam
- Circle Jerkers
- Brass Balls. Santa Babaganoosh is in this segment.
Hey! Spring of Trivia
- George Washington's dentures are replicated and put into the mouth of an old Asian man. Ew.
- Why do you strut with jutting shoulders?
Snoop Dogg is interviewed by Tom Arnold on Fox Sports Net
Clip from the news where it is revealed that Jeff Probst and Julie Berry are dating
MXC. Paranormal vs Baby Products
- Game where the players must catch a pink ball that comes down a Plinko-esque board.
- Tug of War challenge
- Flailing Wall
- Log Drop. Olympus Babaganoosh is the last contestant.
MXC. Adventurers vs Dental Industry
- Dash to Death
- Hand Job
- Wallbangers
- Sinkers and Floaters. Azirak Babaganoosh in this segment.
(4:03:48)
COPS
- Cops pull over an old man in a blond wig dressed as a woman. He has a Mexican man in his car that he claims he is giving a ride to. The Mexican man seems shocked when the cops tell him that the driver is a man. It seems obvious though.
- Police wrestle down and arrest a black man with an American flag bandanna. He kind of looks like Sekou Bunch from Survivor. He had drugs on him and tried to run from the cops.
- Prostitution stings where johns are arrested. The first john arrested is an older guy who cries. The second one is a fat old guy.
- Police respond to a domestic call. An old Mexican woman loses her false teeth on the roof. Her husband had smashed a piece of cheese in her mouth and it had pushed the dentures out the window. Yeah. True story.
(4:27:56)
Discovery Health Channel special about a boy named Novemthree. He has a massive facial tumor. He's given operations and shit, and it's really gross.
COPS
- Police break up a fight between a hippy driving a mulch truck, and a drunken angry older man with a mohawk. This guy is really mean and threatens the cops with violence.
Conan O'Brien receives gifts from Santa
COPS
- Black dude is arrested after trying to pull a scam at a store. He pulled items off the shelf and brought them to the counter for return. Security tapes are shown to prove guilt.
- Group of kids gets in trouble when they try to use a counterfeit twenty dollar bill at a gas station
Survivor Vanuatu Final Four is interviewed on the Early Show. Chris is presented with the million dollar check.
Mad TV. Stewart interacts with his new babysitter.
COPS
- Man is pulled over with weed in his vehicle. There are also kids in the car. The cop only lets him go because he's driving the kids to a funeral. The cop makes him dump it out on the side of the road.
(5:23:54)
Mad TV. I apparently didn't edit the commercials out of these.
- Ms. Swan does the monologue at the beginning of the show
- There's Something About Monica movie trailer (Monica Lewinsky)
*Grand Theft Auto San Andreas ad in the commercials*
Mad TV (cont)
- Keanu Reeves teaches acting school
- Skit where CNN Breaking News updates cut into everything
- Man calls a phone sex number and talks to Ms. Swan
- Sonny's Widow and Cher Show
- Rusty moves into a college dorm with a black guy
- "He Got Gay" movie trailer
- Crazy old couple hides under the bed
- Black midget from Me, Myself, and Irene. He is pushed down.
- Walls Mart advertisement.
END OF TAPE
Past VHS Tapes:
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