Saturday, March 15, 2025

VHS Tape #13: Funny Mix #13



Funny Mix #13
(couldn't think of anything witty to title this)


(00:00:00) 

COPS

 - Crazy drugged up gay black man breaks into a woman's house and trashes it while running from a gang of assailants
 - Police find a marijuana garden in the middle of a forest. The plants are ripped out and airlifted away.
 - Cops introduce a drug sniffing dog named Cowboy to an elementary school. Cowboy is then put to work that night and searches two cars and finds drugs. "Dat's a good boy!!"
 - Drunk white guy is pulled over and does not realize he has a joint tucked behind his ear
 - Fat, old, Arab man with a turban on is arrested for beating his wife. She doesn't speak any English and is eccentric when the police arrive

Eye popping black man on Ripley's Believe it or Not

Conan O'Brien New Years 2005 special. Conan, Max, Triumph, and Joel reflect on their resolutions from last year. Okay, so we now have a time frame for when this was recorded.

(00:34:01)

COPS - Mardi Gras episode
 - Crowd control and fights are broken up. Also, a man is accused of throwing a bottle at the police but they let him go because no one saw it for sure
 - Drunken, stupid white guy is arrested for stealing beer
 - Man arrested for peeing in the street, and his buddy is arrested for trying to block the police while the guy is urinating
 - Group of unruly drunk white guys is arrested for picking random fights
 - Man is arrested for touching another man's sister uninvited
 - Another man arrested for peeing in the street. This one is Canadian and talks with a funny accent. "I told ya!"
 - Another fight broken up after 2 guys try to feel up some dude's girlfriend. Some random black guy is tackled and arrested while all of this is going on but we never really find out what that was all about
 - Dorky white guy arrested in a club for putting roofies in people's drinks
 - Unruly man in a Sammy Sosa jersey is arrested for fighting and spits at the police

MXC. Electronic games vs Footwear
 - Spare Me
 - Sinkers and Floaters
 - Chum in the Mouth
 - Boulder Dash. Falujah Babaganoosh in this segment.

(1:20:57)

MXC. Organized Crime vs Diet
 - Dead Man Walking
 - Runaway Stump
 - Little Man in Boat
 - Tumbling Dominoes of Doom. Dr Hador Babaganoosh is the last contestant. 

MXC. Sex For Hire vs Amusement Park
 - Hosin' the Ho's
 - Eat Shitake
 - Brass Balls
 - Sinkers & Floaters. Flag Babaganoosh is first to go in this segment
 
COPS
 - Black man tries to speed away from the cops, but is chased and leads the cops to his sister's house. He has weed in the car, and he claims he was scared and just trying to get home.
 - Another giant outdoor marijuana bust. More plants are airlifted out. So sad.
 - Crazy black man at a restaurant. This clip is insane! It's what COPS is all about. This dude is sitting at a table making karate gestures in the air with his hands and talking nonsense. He's out of his mind drugged up or on something. The cops mace him and it has no effect, he continues to drink his beer. He moves into the bathroom while the police continue to mace him. Eventually he's wrestled down and arrested.

Crank Yankers
 - Man calls in to audition center to be a contestant in a game to be Spike Lee's first white friend
 - Woman calls a doctor wanting to know if he will look at her and sign a certificate that she's a virgin
 - Man calls barber shop and complains when he finds out a woman will be cutting his hair and not a man
 - Thuggish guy calls in looking for a job, and jokes around with the guy who answers. They talk about jail time and Vietnam.

(2:23:46)

Gary Busey runs out of stands at a UCLA/Oklahoma State football game and dances with the cheerleaders

AFV
 - Woman with a mask on is videotaped giving a foot massage and gets angry
 - Old woman's boob comes out in a swimming pool
 - Old man staggers and falls down backward, knocking over a TV
 - Man hit in crotch with bowling ball
 - Man kicked facefirst into mud while working in garden
 - Clips involving balloons
 - Cuckoo clock doesn't stop making sound
 - Angry screaming kid in bath tub. "Wash my body!!!!!"
 - Boy throws baseball bat and it hits someone in head
 - Funny faced skydivers
 - Person falls off saucer while trying to sled down steps
 - Horse does funny dance while getting sprayed down
 - Dog plays in water fountain
 - Cat getting vacuumed
 - Baby falling asleep sitting up
 - Dog jumps and pulls clothes off a wire
 - 3 naked babies stand facing the bathtub
 - Funny camel clips
 - People falling montage with Pee Wee's Big Adventure music
 - Lady drives away from gas station with gas nozzle and hose still in her gas tank
 - Bizarre screaming man in a chair
 - Baby pees on nurse 

COPS
 - Crazy white homeless man assaults a guy and beats him with a stick and then lies and said he was being harassed.

MXC. Meat vs Cartoon Voice Overs. I couldn't find the babaganoosh in this episode :(
 - Sinkers & Floaters
 - Log Drop
 - Wall Buggers

*in the commercials it cuts to funny cat clips from the Animal Planet

MXC (cont)
 - Boulder Dash
 
(2:59:21)

VH1 Best Reality Show Moments. Lots of Survivor people comment, such as Jeff Probst, Jenna Lewis, Johnny Fairplay, Kelly Wiglesworth, Gervase Peterson, Ethan Zohn, Jenna Morasca, Heidi Strobel, Dave Johnson, Alex Bell, and Shawna from Amazon. Man Troll, Nathan, and Dr Will from Big Brother also comment.
 - Ruben vs Clay Aiken in American Idol 2
 - Pagong eats rats on Survivor
 - Nerdy man and woman get fixed up on Extreme Makeover and hook up afterword
 - Johnny Fairplay dead grandma lie
 - Gary Coleman breaks down on a Surreal Life restaurant episode. Vanilla Ice tries to force him to say "Whatchu talkin bout Willis?" and he refuses.
 - Temptation Island - woman cheats on boyfriend on island. In retaliation, man stripteases in front of group of women.
 - Johnny Knoxville inseminates a cow on Jackass
 - Woman has extreme reaction after being made over on the Swan. She then wins the Swan pageant
 - The Osbournes fight with their loud neighbors
 - Screech beats up Horshack on Celebrity Boxing
 - Survivor Amazon - Jenna and Heidi get naked for peanut butter (tape messes up for this segment, go figure)
 - Players have to eat African cave dwelling spiders on Fear Factor
 - Dave and Amanda have the sex on Big Brother 4
 - Black guy on Real World slaps a white chick
 - Woman admits she used to date Fabio on the Average Joe
 - Joe Millionaire big reveal is made
 - The host of Cheaters is stabbed while confronting an angry cheating boyfriend
 - Omarosa fired on the Apprentice
 - William Hung auditions on American Idol
 - Woman cheats on her boyfriend on America's Next Top Model
 - Justin Timberlake Punk'd. The repo men come to his house and start taking his things because of alleged back taxes.
 - Sue's famous snakes and rats speech on Survivor

(3:43:03)

COPS. Alaskan episode
 - Suicidal dude shoots at people and is arrested by the police
 - Police dog takes down woman in a padded suit for training
 - Crazy Alaskan woman calls police and says there is a ghost in her house. The cops play along and pretend that they captured the ghost to make the woman happy.
 - Man talks to the police after getting beat up by a group of people
 - Cops confront and take in another suicidal man
 
Mr Bean Clip. He speaks! This is just a short clip, and not very funny. It ends quickly.

COPS
 - Man stabbed while with his family at a gas station. Police calm down the family and give the little daughter a doll. The stabbers are tracked down and arrested.

(4:07:48)

Surreal Life. This is the season with Christopher Knight, Chyna, Da Brat, Adrianne Curry, Verne Troyer, and others. This is the episode where they are forced to watch over little children. There are flashbacks to the first episode where Verne gets drunk and comes out naked on his cart and pees in the corner. At the end of the episode, Chyna runs around late at night and acts crazy while everyone is sleeping.

Full House clip - Uncle Jessie and a group of friends sing and dance in the living room

COPS
 - Another suicidal guy. This guy is goofy. He ate about 20 or 30 cough drops and 12 aspirin and says he wants to die because the planet is a stinkhole and he hates it. He says he is pissed he is still alive.
 - Police storm a house that has an illegal brewery and pot plants growing in it 

Celebrity Fit Club clip - Ralphie May jumps into the pool

American Idol 4 premiere from Washington DC. Mark McGrath cohosts
 - Fat black woman sings National Anthem
 - Previews of some of the auditions this season

(4:51:09)

Biggest Loser - clip from the finale 

American Idol (cont)
 - Smiley youth pastor makes it through
 - Fat black woman sings YMCA
 - Gay guy sings "You Raise Me Up" and forgets the words. At the end of the audition he cries and walks out before the judges can even say anything
 - Clips of contestants forgetting lyrics

Another clip from the Biggest Loser finale

American Idol (cont)
 - Anwar's audition
 - Fat chick who says she dresses like she has a lot of money gets rejected

Another clip from the Biggest Loser finale

 American Idol (cont)

 - Weirdo gay black guy sings terribly
 - America the Beautiful montage
 - Black lady who sells all her possessions so she can come audition for Idol. Her unsupportive white husband comes along and is brought into the room when the judges say yes
 
More Biggest Loser shit. Maurice's recap is shown here

American Idol (cont)
 - Sarah Mather audition
 
Biggest Loser - Dave is announced as the winner

American Idol (cont)
 - Weird black man in purple who sings a really long note
 - Constantine Maroulis audition
 - 2 crazy white chicks are rejected
 - Bad people montage
 - Homeless black street performer rejected. WTF he was good
 - Travis Tucker audition
 - Nerdy fat red headed woman sings Hanky Panky song and is denied
 - Blonde chick sings horribly
 - Seacrest tells Constantine's band that Constantine is leaving for Idol
 - Weird guy with a headband that says 5.9% sings Papa Was a Rolling Stone in many different voices and sucks
 - Mentally deranged blonde woman sings I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet and is horrible. She thinks she did great, however. "Not too shabby!" She is a real dope.
 

END OF TAPE



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