I don't know what I was thinking when I came up with that title. I must really be bored, I watched this whole tape in 2 days.
(0:00:00)
Home Delivery. A burned and deformed young black girl has a makeover for her 13th birthday and meets her grandma who has now decided to be a part of her life
COPS
- Mexican guy enters a woman's house and tries to steal the TV. He lies and says that he knows her father and has been there a hundred thousand times before. He claims he was just moving the TV to the other room.
Mad TV
- Crazy redhead woman comes to a homeless shelter to entertain with improv comedy. She fails and makes a giant fool of herself, especially when she destroys the table full of food.
Around the Horn. This is the very end of an episode. Michael Smith talks about NBA players who are donating money for every point they score to tsunami victims.
PTI. The guys talk about Ashlee Simpson singing horribly at halftime of some game and getting booed. She is dissed and called a fraud.
MAD TV
- Oprah Winfrey skit. The crazy blonde girl with gloves is interviewed and embarrasses her family. She also has a stroke on air.
- Short skit with Nicole Richie and Saddam Hussein hanging out in a bunker
(23:16)
Crank Yankers
- Radio station calls a 7-11 and asks the woman to yell out that she peed in the Slurpee machine to win a prize
- Black guy calls a flower shop and asks the lady who answers to put a long and sexually inappropriate message on the card. She gets offended and fights with the guy before hanging up.
- Man calls adult video store to ask about penis pumps. The mom keeps picking up the phone and the caller asks the store employee to play along and pretend he's ordering a pizza
- Denis Leary calls someone about a rampaging monkey that's attacking him
Jay Leno clip where Harland Williams talks to an Asian family and follows them around for the day. The tape gets shitty about halfway through this but it only lasts for this little segment.
Crank Yankers
- Special Ed calls a computer store and keeps yelling I got mail!!! Yay!!!
Hey Spring of Trivia
- Basketball was once played with 50 players on each team
- Japanese samurai stuffs his whole fist into his mouth
Hilton Griswold clip. Hilton and three other guys are up on a stage singing.
Hey Spring of Trivia (cont)
- When a pill bug hits a wall it will always turn right and then left
- In Utah, a tied election is decided by the roll of a dice
- Natto thread can be extended 38 feet
(1:02:26)
MXC. Novelty vs Death. There is no Babaganoosh in this episode :(
- Wet Spot
- Circle Jerkers Ahoy
- Elimination Idol
- Wall Bangers
Reno 911. This is the episode where the cops try to win passes to an execution. They set up a point system for arrests where whoever has the highest score wins. There are clips from this episode on my second recorded VHS tape, but this is the full episode.
Surreal Life clip. Jane Wiedlin and Adrianne Curry go skinny dipping. Verne Troyer comes out and shows his ass and gets shitfaced. Chyna snores and is compared to Chewbacca from Star Wars. Verne comes out on his scooter naked late at night and pees in the corner. At the end, there is a preview of the season.
(1:48:58)
COPS
- Little kid tells the police how a man put a knife to her throat and tried to take her as she was coming home from school. The police investigate but don't find anything.
- Cops are called to a pizza shop where a black couple is complaining that they want their money back. The store owner doesn't want to give it back just because they changed their mind but he does anyway just to get them out of there.
Randy Moss moons the crowd at Lambeau field after scoring a playoff touchdown. The Vikings complain about Joe Buck calling it a "disgusting act."
AFV
- Old lady tricked by doorbell ringing and no one is outside
- Kid dances around while playing a video game
- Man is giddy after getting an Oakland Raiders helmet for a present
- Clown frightens children
- Kid cries and is ecstatic over a present he gets. Looks like Pokemon cards or something.
- Sledding man wipes out
- Two kids fall asleep on the toilet while pooping
- Guinea pigs ears react to shouting
- Someone on a sled goes under a parked car
- Ugly bird pecks at a man
- Dog licks window
- Clips featuring elaborate ways to pour milk
MXC. Organ Donors vs Addicts. I have some of this episode on Tape #4 but this is the full thing. Also, this episode does not contain a Babaganoosh, like the last one on this tape. So sad!
- Mud Butlers
- Dash to Death
*in commercials there is a cartoon skit from Jay Leno mocking George W Bush*
MXC (cont)
- Rotating Surfboard of Death
*Jay Leno's Headlines in the commercials*
MXC (cont)
- Brass Balls
- Pole Riders
(2:25:41)
The people of PTI talk about Richard Hatch's tax evasion
Crank Yankers
- Woman complains to a video store that there was a porn movie in the wrong case and she showed it to a group of kids
- Guy calls a company looking for a job and burps into the phone
- Old guy calls sex hotline and asks the woman to make animal noises and celebrity impressions
- Black guy who is about to go to jail calls karate class and wants to learn how to defend himself
Mad TV
- Lowered Expectations. Woman barks like a dog.
- Man with eye patch and a group of ninjas try to take over Swan's nail salon but she escapes and kills him.
(2:47:08)
American Idol 4 episode 2. St Louis auditions
- 3 blonde girls sing and Simon calls them fat
- Seacrest throws out first pitch at a Cardinals game
- Montage of terrible singers
- Nikko Smith's audition
- Bouncy black woman who is a music teacher sings and makes it through
- Weird looking white chick sings horribly. Paula tells her she could be a rat voice in a cartoon.
- Cruise ship singer with lots of supporters is denied. He is full of himself and doesn't take rejection well
- Montage of people singing Rolling on the River
- Aa'shia Jackson. Small black girl who sings in a chipmunk voice. They say yes and she storms out and acts all crazy for the camera
- Funny looking black guy who says he sounds like Brian McKnight. He sucks... bad.
- Carrie Underwood audition
- Student of the black teacher (she went earlier) auditions and is denied. The woman freaks out and has a breakdown when she learns the news.
- 2 geeky white guys, Dirk and Adam become good friends in the waiting room and both sing. They are horrible.
COPS
- Drug dealer and prostitute arrested at Mardi Gras trying to make deals with two Navy guys
The movie "Se7en" is discussed on I Love the 90's
(3:34:14)
MXC. Malcontents vs Baked Goods
- Bust A Nut
- Bird Droppings
- Irritable Bowl Syndrome
- Log Drop. Paula Babaganoosh is the last contestant.
COPS
- Black man is shot and put into the back of an ambulance. He calls it the amber lamps just like from the epic beard man clip.
Snoop Dogg interviewed on Jay Leno. This is just the tail end of the interview. Snoop talks about going back to Africa to discover himself and that's it.
Home Delivery. Young goth chick and her little baby son (who she also dresses up the same way) are made over.
Celebrity Justice. Richard Hatch's tax evasion is discussed.
(4:13:25)
Conan O'Brien. Rick O'Cassick and Triumph present an award for song of the year
Jimmy Kimmel. Michael Jackson's bizarro #1 fan goes out onto the streets of NY and talks to people. He camps out in front of a CD store so he can be the first to get his box set. He also carries a little Michael Jackson puppet around with him.
COPS
- Older white man drives through spike strips while trying to run from the cops. He stops shortly after and is arrested. He is extremely belligerent and cusses out the cops.
- Drug stings where dealers are arrested. One of the guys tries to swallow all his drugs. Another one tries to run but doesn't get very far.
Discovery Health special about a woman with a 160 pound tumor, and the doctors who are planning to remove it.
*in the commercials it cuts to the Dave Chappelle show. This is a skit educating kids about VD, crabs, and herpes*
Discovery Health special (cont). The successful surgery is chronicled.
*Dave Chappelle Black Bush skit in commercials*
Conclusion of Discovery Health special. The woman returns home after surgery.
(5:18:00)
Crank Yankers
- Man at a hotel is called and told that he was being charged for Siegfried and Roy tickets
- Man calls to complain about a bathroom attendant who he saw eating his poop
- Video game playing black guy calls about a job and the guy who answers says odd things and hits on him. He gets pissed and hangs up
- Girl calls a chef for cooking advice and asks inappropriate sex questions instead
- Teacher calls a museum to ask about a field trip and asks about inappropriate questions
- Parent calls to complain saying that she found a ceramic wiener in with her daughter's things
Surreal Life. They visit a ranch and ride horses. Verne is unable to ride because of his size. Adrianne brands a calf. They camp out and Verne is afraid. At the end they all have a heart to heart around the campfire.
Blue Collar TV. Redneck guys go to a Japanese restaurant named Benihana and learn how to cook hibachi.
Discovery Health special about fetus in fetu. In other words, a deformed baby that grows inside another baby. Gross! The family of the boy who had it pulled out of him is interviewed.
END OF TAPE
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