Wednesday, June 7, 2023

Video Game Review #449: Blast Corps

Blast Corps
Nintendo 64

Nostalgia Factor:

Most people nowadays have forgotten all about Blast Corps, but when I was a kid this game was a big deal. It was an early release for the Nintendo 64, and I remember being completely blown away by the wide open areas, the hidden secrets, and the amazing explosions and visual effects.

I never actually purchased this game, but I liked it so much that I ended up renting it from Blockbuster Video twice. Both times I would end up getting stuck on the exact same mission - Oyster Harbor. Little did I know at the time that I was very, very close to beating the game. But I just couldn't figure this mission out.

Decades would pass before I would give Blast Corps another shot. It came out in 1997 and here I am in 2023 finally coming back to it in order to complete some unfinished business. It might have taken me 26 years, but I was going to beat this game once and for all.


This game has an absolutely ridiculous storyline, but for one reason or another it still works. A nuclear tanker has gone out of control. If it hits anything it will detonate, likely killing millions of people in the process. It's your goal as a member of the Blast Corps to clear the way for the tanker so it can continue its slow roll forward. You have to demolish buildings, knock down street signs, and pretty much destroy any obstacles that may get in this tanker's way. If it hits even one little thing: boom. You failed.

And that's pretty much the whole game. Don't expect any more depth than that. It's basically Speed meets Rampage - except you are destroying buildings with vehicles instead of giant monsters.

After you've cleared the way to the test site, you then have to collect six missing scientists who can assist with the safe detonation of the tanker. In a very typical Rare twist, you have to revisit old levels to find these missing scientists. After you have done so, the tanker arrives at its destination and is safely detonated. Phew!

But wait! Before the Blast Corps can relax, a few bonus missions involving outer space become available to you. Really, this game is bonkers - and I'm 100% here for it.


The concept of each stage is very simple: destroy everything in the path of the tanker before it has the chance to collide with any objects. If the tanker hits anything, it explodes and you have to start the stage over again. There are no lives in this game, so you can keep retrying each stage an infinite number of times before you pass it. The game is also non-linear, meaning you can select most stages to play through in any order you'd like. So if you are struggling with one stage, you can exit out, pick another stage, and come back to the one you were struggling with later.

There are a variety of vehicles you use as you make your way throughout the game. Each has its own unique function and control set. The bulldozer is very straightforward: just run into whatever you want to demolish. In the occasion you come across a building that can't be knocked down, you can use the bulldozer to push bombs into it to take it down. There's also a dump truck that you can use to swing into buildings to knock them down, but controlling this thing can be a major hassle. I understand the concept of swinging your caboose into things, but it can be very hard to pull off. Some levels it works great, while other levels the thing just won't skid at all. It just turns where you want it to turn. The lack of consistency drove me nuts as I was playing this!

Hmm... what else is there? There is a motorcycle-looking thing that fires missiles. There is a robot that rolls into buildings. A flying robot that comes crashing down onto buildings. There's a yellow truck that smashes powerful beams out from both of its sides. You can even control things like trains, boats, police cars, cranes, and race cars to get you to and fro.

While the concept of Blast Corps seems straightforward, the game is filled with lots of nuance. You can't just go around smashing things with no strategy. Using the terrain comes in handy. You can drive over hills and ramps to go flying into the air, which allows you to take down buildings more effectively. The game also has you switching vehicles in the middle of the mission quite often. You may start off in the dump truck, but you might reach an area where you have to hop onto a train and ride it for a little while to get to the next area. Exit the train and hop into a bulldozer to finish the level. The game progressively gets harder and harder as you go. You really have to get creative trying to find ways through some of these missions. It almost becomes more of a puzzle game than anything else. I got stuck quite often playing through this, because I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do next. But I didn't mind this at all. Look at how repetitive a game like Rampage can be. This game benefits greatly from the strategy aspect. It gives things a lot of life and longevity.

This game is also filled with bonuses and collectibles. You get bonus points for rescuing civilians. There are hidden satellites you can activate periodically throughout the game. There are little light-up pods on the ground that act as collectibles when you drive over them. While everything seems straightforward at first, I had a blast (pun intended) coming back to some of these levels and mopping up everything I left behind. As I mentioned earlier, the game makes you revisit some old stages to rescue scientists to help you successfully detonate the tanker. I loved these stages, as the game really flexes its creative muscles with its puzzles and environments. A stage may look like a simple farm field your first time through it, but coming back to revisit it, you'll notice just a TON of hidden stuff you didn't see before.

I came into this game expecting to only mildly enjoy it from the memories I have of it as a kid. Turns out it exceeded all my expectations quite easily. This is a surprisingly deep and fun game, and it has definitely jumped into my top ten Nintendo 64 titles after this playthrough.


This game was a visual masterpiece when it first came out. While it definitely shows its age nowadays with its slowdown, choppiness, ugly pixels, and muddy textures, I forgive it for that. The world of the game is so fun, bright, and creative. Things may look simple on the surface but when you really dive into this game, you can't help but be impressed by its depth.

Explosions and special effects still look really good. I like the small little details like the shiny textures of the robot vehicles you can command. This game definitely looks and feels like a Nintendo 64 game, but in the very best possible way.


I just love this game's music. It's classic Rare at its finest. You hear everything from honky-tonk country themes, similar to what you hear in Banjo-Kazooie, to music that sounds like it is inspired by Goldeneye (although this came out first). Everything is fast, upbeat, and super catchy. Really gets you in the mood to wreck some shit.

I like the little snippets of voice acting, too. I really looked forward to hearing "you're just trying to impress me" at the end of each successful mission. It males everything worth it. 


This game has no business being this good. I picked it up with the expectation that I'd like it, but it wouldn't be anything special in the long run. There's a reason it has been forgotten by so many people, right?

Well those people are STOOPID. You can even throw me into that category for ignoring this game's existence for the last 20 some years. This is a great game. It's nonstop fun from beginning to end. I had a blast completing the missions, discovering the secrets, and exploring everything this game has to show you. It's a surprisingly deep titles that you can play in a myriad of ways. Want to sit down and waste a whole day on this game? Go ahead. Want to play it in short bursts? A mission here, a mission there? That works too. In fact, that's how I played the majority of this game until I made it to the end. Then I dedicated a few hours straight to sit down and finish this thing off.

There's not much I can say about this game that is bad. Normally when a game pulls some nonsense on you and makes you replay old levels to find things you missed, it irritates me. Look at Ultimate Ghosts 'n Goblins or Jet Force Gemini, two games I didn't even bother to finish. With this game, I happily went back to comb through those old levels.

When I first sat down to write this review, I intended to give it a B something and call it a day. Now that I've actually sat down and reflected on the game, it is so much better than that. The fact that this game has been ignored for so long is practically a crime. If you have the means to play Blast Corps, go out and play it now.


For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

Sunday, June 4, 2023

Video Game Review #448: BurgerTime


Nostalgia Factor:

While I would not classify BurgerTime as one of my favorite arcade games of all time, it's always been a game that I HAVE to play whenever I see it out in the wild. If I'm out at a bar, arcade, bowling alley, movie theater - whatever - and I see a BurgerTime unit, I'm playing it. I don't care what you say.

There's just something inherently fun and appealing about the game's concept to me, even though I've never been good at it. Who wouldn't want to play as a tiny little chef, running around and making burgers by dropping them on your enemies?

BurgerTime came out in 1982, the same year I was born. In fact, I am about one month older than this game. We both turn 41 together this year. How would it hold up after all this time? Let's find out!


As far as I know, this game doesn't have a story. Nothing on Wikipedia. Nothing contained within the game itself. You're just a chef, running from your life from a bunch of killer food items as you scramble to create giant, oversized hamburgers. Nothing to see here. Totally normal.


To me, this game has always had such a fun concept. You're a chef. You run around on a puzzle board with lots of ladders going up and down. You have to avoid the enemy foods that are running after you (pickles, hot dogs, etc) and run across platforms made of burger ingredients. When you run over a piece, it drops to the level of the puzzle board below you. Drop them all the way to the bottom to stack ingredients. The goal is to create fully put-together burgers using all the ingredients you are given.

Not only are the concept and the characters super quirky and cool, the game gives you the chance to defend yourself in some pretty fun ways. When you run across a burger ingredient and drop it to the level below, you can strategically time these out so you can crush the enemies below you. If you run across an ingredient and release it while an enemy is hot on your trail, the enemy not only falls and dies, but the ingredient drops an extra two levels. This is something I did not know coming in. I didn't realize this was happening until at least the tenth virtual quarter I popped into this game. Once I did, I made sure to take full advantage.

The game also gives you pepper that you can use to freeze your enemies in place for a few seconds. You are only given three of these when you start a game, so use them sparingly. You earn more as you collect more points. You can also collect extra ones when food items like popcorn appear on the screen. They don't stay on the screen long, however, so you have to collect them quickly. These pepper sprays come in great handy as you play, and are almost like get out of jail free cards when you are cornered. Using them strategically is key to doing well playing this game.

Each quarter you pop in gives you three lives. You earn more lives as you collect points. I believe there are six stage layouts. Once you cycle through them all, the game gets much faster and much harder. I can barely make it through three or four of the normal stages before the cycle begins. I used save states to cheese my way through the first cycle, and immediately the game became too hard for me - even cheating using save states. I don't know how a human player could realistically expect to make it past level seven or eight. When you run out of lives in this game, you are done. There are no continues. Putting in another quarter simply starts you at the beginning of the game with your score back at zero.

This is definitely what I consider a "high score" game. There is no beating BurgerTime. You just really want to get the highest score. Normally I am not a big fan of games like this (Pac-Man, Satan's Hollow, Space Invaders, etc) but BurgerTime is one of the exceptions. I am a big Frogger fan as well. There's just something fun, charming, and addicting about this game. Even though I know I suck at it, and even though I know I can't beat it, it still calls to me. That's the mark of a great game.


Really, this game has aged well. It looks simple, sure. But is that a bad thing? It has a timeless and clean look to it. Cute little characters. Simple yet creative stage design. The layered burger pieces and random food items you collect are instantly recognizable. The theme is amazing. You can almost smell the food cooking as you play. Charm. This game exudes it, particularly the when you are playing on the physical arcade unit itself. Lots and lots of charm.


There's nothing really special about this game's music. I am not going to catch myself rocking out to it while listening to a video game music playlist. It's serviceable. It fits the theme of the game. It's fun and upbeat. It does what it is supposed to do. Sound effects are good too. Exactly what you'd expect from a game of this era. Everything is fine here. Yup. Just fine, thank you.


I am sure you can tell by reading my summary of this game that I really liked it. I know I said earlier that I wouldn't classify BurgerTime as one of my favorite arcade games ever made, but after further reflection I am beginning to reconsider that stance. 

This game is a classic, and there is no doubt about that in my mind. I love the concept, I love the graphics, and I love the gameplay. Like I said, if I see this arcade unit out in the wild, I am going to take the time to stop and play it. It is fun and addicting, and I am proud to say that BurgerTime and I were "born" in the same year.

This is a game that needs to be played. It can't be beaten, you are only playing for a high score. Normally I don't enjoy these types of games, but BurgerTime is one of the few exceptions to that rule. 


For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

Friday, June 2, 2023

Video Game Review #447: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Nintendo Wii

Nostalgia Factor:

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is probably the 3D Zelda game I am the least familiar with. Ocarina of Time and Wind Waker are two of my favorite games of all time, and I have spent a lot of time with them. I've played through Skyward Sword a couple of times. I have only played through Majora's Mask one time, but it is still relatively fresh on my mind.

I've played through Twilight Princess twice before in my life. One time when the game first came out, for the GameCube. A couple of years later I played through it after I traded my GameCube copy in for the Wii version. My reasoning for doing that was because the Wii version probably had better graphics, plus I liked the fact that motion controls were involved with the swinging of the sword. Motion controls were big and his was something that appealed to me back then.

Both times I played through the game, I liked it, but I didn't completely lose my mind over it. This has always been a very middle of the road Zelda game in my opinion. Not quite up there with the greats, but not bad enough to be considered a lower echelon entry to the series.

How would I feel about it now, in the year 2023? Let's dive in, shall we?


The game begins in a time of peace. Link lives in a small village, helping herd goats at a local farm. The local kids all look up to him. He's crushing on a girl named Ilia. Life is good.

In typical Zelda fashion, the peace doesn't last long. Link is dragged away on a journey to save Hyrule from the dark world, which has begun to encroach on the world of light. Link turns into a wolf while visiting the dark world and teams up with Midna to gather the Mirror Shards and defeat the evil sorcerer Zant. Spoiler alert: Zant is revealed to be the underling of the one and only Ganon - who is the true villain of the game.

I am no expert as far as Zelda canon goes, but I think this is supposed to be a distant sequel to Ocarina of Time. Link is the hero reborn. The Ganon in the game is the same one from Ocarina of Time, free from his prison. Link learns battle tactics from a mysterious skeleton warrior, which I've heard rumors is the spirit of adult Link from Ocarina of Time.

Zelda games are never known for deep or emotionally gripping storylines. While this game's story is decent while the game lasts, it is never something I'm going to look back on and be like "yeah! Such a memorable story that I'll remember forever!"


I played this game on the Wii, so I am going to do all my complaining about the motion controls right away. They're annoying. I know that it seemed like a good idea when the game first came out. Motion controls were new and exciting. I even traded in my GameCube copy of the game for this version because of the motion controls. But they are a pain in the butt.

The GameCube controller works much better. I don't like having to shake the controller to do an attack, or thrust the nunchuk forward to do a shield attack. Those were so hard to pull off, for me. I also don't like having to point the controller at the TV when going into first person mode to use items, like the bow and arrow. I'd much rather use the regular controller for that. And the fishing. Ugh, I hated the fishing. The game does not explain how to use the pole or what you are supposed to do. I was shaking and jerking the pole all over the place whenever I would get a bite. I wasted hours on an early part in the game where you need to catch fish in order to collect a missing cat. Turns out you are just supposed to hold the pole still vertically to reel in the fish. Why couldn't they have told me that!

This game does get off to a very slow and tedious start. That is probably one of the most common complaints you'll hear about the game. Not only does the fishing suck, you have to partake in goat herding missions that are on a timer. I didn't fail when playing the game this time around, but I remember when I first played this game it took me soooo long to get through this part. Questions of its difficulty aside - it is time consuming and completely unnecessary. Between the goat herding, the fishing, the weird bird-controlling thing that you never do at any other point in the game, and the mindless wandering around and aimlessly talking to townfolk, the beginning of this game has absolutely no forward momentum whatsoever.

It isn't until several hours into the game that it picks up. Probably around the time that Link is turned into a wolf. The rest of the game feels more like a standard Zelda game, probably most comparable to Ocarina of Time. Same look, same feel, but not as fun. Ocarina of Time is nearly flawless from beginning to end. This game trips and stumbles many times along the way. Not to say this a bad game. Far from it. I just feel that it often comes across as a cheap imitation of Ocarina of Time meant only to appease the fair weather Zelda fans that moaned and complained about the cartoonish look of Wind Waker.

The dungeons aren't as good as Ocarina. The world design isn't as good as Ocarina. It is missing the personality of Ocarina, along with the iconic storytelling and visual setting. The controls are similar, the combat is similar, and you actually have a lot more weapons and items at your display this time around. Some of them are quite unique, like the giant ball and chain, or the giant spinning disc. Like I said, however, this game often comes across as a cheap imitation, and I definitely noticed how it lacked the magic and the charm of Ocarina of Time.

What this game does well is how big everything is. The Lake Hylia area is huge. Hyrule Field is massive. Castle Town is bustling and full of interesting characters and shops. There are lots of things to do, like hunt for hidden treasure chests and heart pieces, collect insects, fish, play gambling minigames, and collect Poe spirits. You don't always have to focus on simply the task at hand.

Like most Zelda games, you move from dungeon to dungeon, collecting new items that allow you to backtrack and access areas you couldn't before. The main plot is moved along in a linear fashion, but it is up to you what you want to do in between dungeons. Exploring and talking to everyone will prove beneficial, as the areas in between dungeons are almost like dungeons themselves. I remember Majora's Mask being very similar, in the sense that you often have to solve puzzles or accomplish certain tasks before you're allowed to move to the next area of the game. Some of these are fun and quick to complete. Others are frustrating and annoying. An example of annoying is when you have to restore Ilia's memory before you can access the Sky Temple. If you didn't have a strategy guide or an online walkthrough handy you'd have no idea what to do next. You'd literally have to go everywhere on the map and hope you just blindly stumble into what you are looking for. I didn't have the internet when I first played this game back in what, 2006? But my goal was to 100% the game and see everything and do every sidequest and catch every bug. I didn't notice how annoying this was back then. Playing it now in my old age - I found myself getting stuck left and right. Maybe a little patience and some added exploration would have done me good, but I quickly and shamelessly turned to internet guides and walkthroughs to get me through these tough spots.

The dungeons are fun, but again - not as good as Ocarina's. Not as good as Wind Waker or even some of Skyward Sword's either. The Water Temple is the worst. The gimmick of how you have to slant the water down is annoying to me and never seems to make any sense. Many of the dungeons "click" and are really fun to play through, however. They may lack that iconic flair of other Zelda games, but they are still fun and engaging. There are times I was playing this where I was able to zone out and get out into that special Zelda-playing groove.

One thing I have to touch on before we move on is the gimmick of how you can turn into a wolf in this game. In the early-goings, wolf and human exploits are separate. As the game progresses, you can switch between them at will. Why would you want to play as the wolf? He's faster and better in battle, he can cross ropes, and he has a team-up move with Midna where he can teleport across long distances. He can also switch to the dark world at will, where he can find hidden items and dig spots or fight enemies that normal Link can't even see. You often have to use the wolf form to follow scent trails that tell you where you need to go next.

I have always liked the wolf twist in this game. It definitely sets Twilight Princess apart from the other Zeldas.  I'm sure it gets referred to as "the one with the wolf" quite often.


Back in 2006, this was the Zelda game everyone was waiting for. They wanted to see Ocarina of Time with the graphics of present day. Many people were disappointed in the cartoonish look of Wind Waker. Twilight Princess always felt like an attempt to right that wrong.

The game does look good. Basically anything ugly or unappealing about Ocarina has been cleaned up to perfection. The characters, environments, and special effects are amazing. Some of the cutscenes have a cinematic flair to them. I played a good portion of the game in the dark with headphones, and I have to say that this is the way to go. Very atmospheric and engaging at times.

I have to give a shoutout to the "dark world" graphics with the neon red and blue lines with the black backdrops. Very reminiscent of the Tron area in Kingdom Hearts 2. I've always loved that.

As much as I've praised this game, I do say that it could have used some more color. I don't know if it is because it is a Wii game but everything seemed a bit muted and "grey."


It's rare you find a Zelda game with bad sound quality, and this game is no exception. Everything sounds amazing, from the music to the sound effects. All the classic Zelda sounds are present as you play through this game. The chest opening music, the little jingle that plays when you uncover a secret. Iconic. Shoutout to the sound the game makes when you teleport somewhere. It fits right in with all the other classic Zelda sound effects.

As far as original music goes, I don't think this game contains anything too earth shattering. Nothing is standing out in my mind, except for the eerie dark world music. It's not even that this music is catchy or anything. It's just very atmospheric and gives the whole game kind of a dire feel to it. 


If Ocarina of Time did not exist, I'd probably think more highly of this game. I like the environments, the music, the graphics, the fun items, all that good stuff. The wolf twist gives the game its own unique entity. That said, the game is still missing that "special something" that would cement it in my mind as an all-time classic. It is almost there, but not quite. I don't know if it is because it is sitting in Ocarina's shadow, or what. But even after playing through this game three times now in my life, I still haven't made any kind of connection to it whatsoever. It's a good game, but not a special game in my opinion.

As far as all-time Zelda games go, I'd probably rank it somewhere below Majora's Mask and above Skyward Sword.


For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

Thursday, May 25, 2023

Video Game Review #446: Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool

Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool
Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo

Nostalgia Factor:

It has been over eight years now that I've been writing this blog, and I still manage to pump out "firsts" on a somewhat regular basis. Well, here is another one. My first ever joint review between two different versions of a video game. I've done something similar in the past, like with my Batman Returns and Judge Dredd reviews, but those involved comparing the two games side by side and assigning each of them their own review score. I'm not going to do that here. These games are so similar, I'm going to treat them as just one single review with one shared final score.

As far as nostalgia goes, I have distant childhood memories of renting the Sega Genesis version of this game when it first came out. I remember almost nothing about the game, other than that I had a good time with it. And that's it. I remember nothing else except for that vaguely positive impression the game left on me.

When I first started learning how to emulate old video games, this is a title that began to linger in the back of my mind. I knew just from glancing over the reviews that this game was nothing special, but that didn't matter to me. I liked it as a kid and I wanted to check it out as an adult to see how it held up.

What would be right, the reviews that were critical of this game, or my memories? Only one way to find out.


This is the main area where the two versions of the game differ. The Genesis version doesn't give you any story tidbits whatsoever. You're just thrown right into the game and off you go.

The Super Nintendo version has title screens before the start of each level that tell you what is going on in the game.

So what is going on in the game? Not a whole lot, really. Chester Cheetah is locked inside of a zoo, and his only way out is to find all the missing pieces of his motorcycle and assemble them so he can drive away. Upon close scrutiny, this game's story doesn't really hold up. He's trapped in a zoo, but he has free reign of the place to wander wherever he wants? There's a flying level towards the end of the game. Why can't he just fly out? What good would assembling a bike do?

It all makes much more sense if you just disregard the story and focus on the gameplay, which is what I did. Clearly, the storyline is not important and only provides the most basic of reasons for Chester doing the things he does in this game.


I'm just going to lead things off here by saying that there is nothing, and I mean nothing special about this title's gameplay. There are only five levels. The point of each level is to find the missing bike piece, at which point you can then proceed to the level exit. 

I played through this game twice. My first playthrough was on the Genesis, and my second was on the Super Nintendo. The first time I played through this game it took me about an hour or so to beat, and that was with me fully exploring each level and collecting as much stuff as I could. But all that "stuff" you collect is just crap. So you can earn some extra lives. Woo-hoo. Big deal. If you cut down on the exploring and just focus on the task at hand, this game can easily be beaten in about 20 or 30 minutes - which is exactly what happened my second time through this game.

Okay, so the game is short. Aside from that, is it fun to play? Not really. You can't talk about this game without mentioning the speed at which your character moves. For a cheetah, he sure is slow AF. And I mean reaaaaaaaal slow. His character model is very big too. I mean, he controls fine enough, but moving this big, slow, lumbering cheetah around the environment can be a cumbersome thing. He does have the ability to dash, but you can only dash after finding the hidden shoes in each stage. He is already wearing shoes. Why does he need to collect them to be able to dash?

Not that the dash is very helpful anyway. Every time I'd use it, an enemy would come up on the edge of the screen and I would not be able to react fast enough to avoid it. This resulted in some cheap deaths.

Other useless items include a pair of sunglasses that allows you to see hidden power ups and a guitar that gives you invincibility. But you can't control your character while he is jamming on the guitar, he just dances around on the screen. So that invincibility is pretty useless. In fact, picking up the guitar is often a detriment. There's a stage where you're being carried over the water, and if you grab the guitar, Chester dances himself off the ledge and into the water, where you take damage. Oy.

Enemies can be defeated by simply jumping on their heads. Collision detection is pretty poor in this game. Sometimes I'd take damage for seemingly no reason whatsoever when doing this. At least in the SNES version, most enemies stay dead. In the Genesis version, they are simply knocked unconscious and then they get up a few seconds later and start coming after you again.

There are some additional breaks in the platforming monotony, but nothing too groundbreaking. You can ride a mine cart, ride a skateboard down the street, and ride on the back of a flying insect. Unfortunately these segments are just as poorly designed as the platforming stages.

As much as I am bagging on this game, it is not unplayable or anything. I wouldn't say it is a complete mess. It's just not good. 


You'd probably think by looking at these screenshots that this is not a bad looking game, and it isn't. It's got bright colors, some interesting character designs, some fun environments. I'm struggling to come up with a comparison from a similar looking game, but maybe Ren and Stimpy: Stimpy's Invention? That Speedy Gonzales game also comes to mind, but I think that this game probably isn't quite as good looking as that one.

That said, this game's graphics are probably the best thing about it. My only real complaint are that some of the animations are questionable. And although I described the character design as "interesting", some of it is just flat out weird. Were the game developers tripping out when they made this?


It's funny reading other people's reviews for this game, because they all hated its music and sound effects, but I really like it. I get it, this isn't a good game. But no need to dogpile on it with unfair criticism. The soundtrack is totally fine. It's fun, upbeat, and has that classic 16-bit tinge to it. It is nothing spectacular and it is nothing I'm going to remember in two weeks, but it's perfectly fine!

Sound effects are good too. The one that stands out in my mind is from the SNES version, when you take damage. Chester kind of swings his head back and forth and makes this teeth chattering "aye aye aye" noise. It's charming.  


Okay, so we've already established that this is not a good game. I hesitate to call it outright bad, however. You can be not good without being actively bad at the same time, and that is where this game seems to fall. It's playable. It does some good things. I don't think I'll ever play it again, but it is not going to go down in my pantheon of all time terrible games. So, spoiler alert, it is going to avoid the dreaded D- or F range for me.

That being said, it still isn't a good game and nothing is going to save it from that. If you decide to skip over this title, you really aren't missing anything at all. I can't in good faith recommend this game to anyone. It is as forgettable a video game as you can possibly get.


For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Video Game Review Score Index

I have decided to create an index of my game reviews, sorted by score. I mean, I already have an index of all my posts and reviews HERE, but I thought it would be fun to see where things stand on the score spectrum.

Definitely some surprises when looking back over my old reviews. There are some games that don't deserve their high scores, like The Jungle Book for Sega Genesis. Good game, but it definitely isn't as great as everything else that got an A. There are also games I may have been too harsh on, such as the Mortal Kombat arcade games. I've made an oath not to change the scores for past reviews, since they were written with the games fresh on my mind. My opinions change over time, sure, but as much as it pains me to see some of these old scores I have to leave them as is!

I supposed it is time to get started.














Non-canon review scores, just for fun:

I'll start with aggregate scores for games that I re-reviewed. The first score listed is the original score, the second one listed is the re-review score. I took the average score between the two, with "ties" favoring the original score.

Castlevania A+ and A+
Resident Evil 4 A+ and A+
Original Tomb Raider A+ and A+

Contra (NES) A and A+
Horizon Zero Dawn A+ and B+
Resident Evil Remake A and A 
Walking Dead Season One A+ and A-
Uncharted 4: A and A

Game of Thrones: A Telltale Game Series A- and B
Life is Strange B and A-
Walking Dead Season Two B+ and B+

Walking Dead A New Frontier A- and C-

Aladdin (Genesis) B- and B-
Resident Evil 3: Nemesis C and B+
Super Star Wars B- and B
Walking Dead Michonne B and C+

Guest Reviews:

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Final Fantasy XV
Chrono Cross

Parasite Eve

For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click