Video Game Review #618: Syphon Filter

Syphon Filter

PlayStation

Nostalgia Factor:

Syphon Filter was insanely hyped when it came out back in 1999. I remember all the video game magazines going nuts over it and calling it the next Metal Gear Solid. I was a huge Metal Gear fan at the time, so I was very intrigued. I went out and rented this game the weekend it came out. My initial reaction was: WTF is this?

It was nothing like Metal Gear. The story was not very interesting, nor were the characters. It didn't look as good as Metal Gear. The controls weren't as polished. And the gameplay itself was nothing like Metal Gear. Metal Gear was a cinematic stealth game with action elements. If anything, Syphon Filter was more of a run and gun shooter with jank controls that took place from a behind-the-back, Tomb Raider-esque perspective.

I didn't make it very far the weekend I rented this game. I just didn't like it. I want to say I made it to the subway level where everything goes up in flames, and then I got stuck. I ended up bringing the game back to Blockbuster when my three days were up, extremely disappointed. I felt lied to by the video game magazines that had praised this game so highly.

Guess what my dumb ass did? I rented it a second time. All those game magazines couldn't be wrong, right? Clearly I was at fault, here, and I just didn't understand the game. Well, I had an even worse time with the game the second time around. Never ended up making it out of the subway area (again), which was like 1/10th of the way through the game.

After returning Syphon Filter to the video store for the second time, I swore off the game. I didn't know if it was good or bad, but it just wasn't for me. I wouldn't pick up Syphon Filter again until March of 2024, when I downloaded an emulated version off of the PlayStation Store. This was 25 years after the game first came out. Would my opinion of the game change? No. I got stuck again. I quickly became frustrated and moved onto other things.

Now, here we are in 2026. I'm trying to tie up some loose ends and finish a bunch of games that I once started and never came back to. I'm not sure if you noticed the trend in some my recent reviews:

Alien Syndrome

Ecco: Defender of the Future

The Legend of Dragoon

Far Cry 5

All games I started in the past, but could never complete. Let's add Syphon Filter to the list. Fourth time is a charm, right? Let's find out.

Story:

I think one of the reasons the game was such a big letdown for me was because of its storyline. It's just not interesting at all. It feels like a generic action movie, akin to something like Mission Impossible or Die Hard, but not nearly as interesting. Just look at the main character. He is so generic and bland. Even after beating the game, I still don't remember his name. Ethan? Imagine playing Metal Gear and not remembering at the end of the game that you played as Solid fucking Snake. 

(I looked it up and his name is Gabriel Logan. Good to know.)

  

You are a member of the special forces, fighting a terror group that is attacking Washington, DC. They plant bombs in the subway and threaten everyone with chemical weapons. You run in there, guns ablazing, to take them out. The action spreads to different areas of DC, like Washington Park and The Freedom Memorial. After the threat is quelled, you take on a spy role and have to infiltrate a museum to... I don't know. The game and its storyline are a giant, poorly written mess.

Long story short: you are good. You are fighting the bad guys. You eventually go to their base and wipe them out. 

I didn't like the storyline as a kid, and I didn't like it now. It really is a giant mess. It's confusing. There is no character development. The dialog sucks. There is no coherent storytelling whatsoever. It just moves you from one giant set piece to another. Absolutely nothing like Metal Gear Solid, which enraptured me with its deep story and its rich collection of eclectic characters. I hate to keep bringing up Metal Gear, but you have to understand what this game was being compared to when it first came out.

I still don't like the storyline, but I've come to peace with it. It is what it is. I kind of zoned out and stopped paying attention just a few missions into the game, because I knew it didn't really matter in the long run. If they couldn't put in the effort to give us a fun or interesting storyline, I wasn't going to put in the effort to care about the crap they put in front of us.

Gameplay:

All right, here comes the most important part of my review: the gameplay segment. I crapped all over the game's storyline, but all will be forgiven if the game is actually fun to play. So, is it fun to play? That's debatable.

I will say that I enjoyed it here in 2026 more than I did on any of my three previous attempts to play the game. There is a learning curve. Just moving your character takes some practice. I swear, this feels like the most bottom-heavy video game character I've ever controlled in a game before. It feels like he is being weighed down by his ass or something. It's hard to describe. It's like you're running forward and when you turn, only the top half of your character moves and points you where you want to go. And then it takes the rest of your body a second to catch up. Going around corners is weird, too. You go around them extremely wide. Your character's physics and momentum are just "off" in a way that is hard to describe. I read somewhere on Reddit that Gabriel has "child-bearing hips" and I can't help but chuckle at that description because it feels accurate. While we are talking about controls, climbing is probably the most jank thing in the game. It's incredibly awkward lining your character up. You have to be almost pixel perfect, and one misstep will send you falling to your death. Once you figure out how to handle the controls, switch weapons, aim for your opponents' heads, etc, things become easier.

After my first day playing this game, I had already made it farther than I did on all of my previous attempts combined. I think I made it to the museum. Approaching the game from a different angle definitely helped me. This isn't Metal Gear. It's Tomb Raider. Or at least Tomb Raider adjacent. It's definitely more combat focused than either title, especially at the beginning of the game.

Once you hit the museum, the stealth elements finally kick in. You have to sneak around and follow a character. If you are spotted, you instantly lose. You have to master the art of waiting for the perfect opportunity and then headshotting the guards with your silenced weapon.

The game shifts back and forth between stealth and action from this point forward. It's still more action based, I would say. As much as I wanted to like the game, I found that the controls and the unbalanced difficulty level kept me from truly being able to enjoy it. When the game is feeling fair, things click along pretty well. But the problem is that the game loves to throw unexpected surprises at you that can kill you before you barely even have a chance to react. And then back to the last checkpoint you go. Sometimes there are long gaps between checkpoints, meaning you must replay long segments of the game again. This may have been acceptable in 1999, but in the present day - no one has time for that shit. Luckily, the version of the game I played on the PS4 has save states and a rewind feature, which I abused the hell out of.

It gets really difficult around the time that enemies with flak jackets are introduced. You either have to unload an entire clip (or two) of ammo on the enemy to kill him, or you have to line up a precision headshot to take him down immediately. Obviously, the headshot is the more sensible option, especially if you are low on ammo. Plus, it takes the enemy down much quicker. When enemies lock onto you, they can drain your health FAST, like in one or two seconds. Imagine the frustration of going on a near-perfect run, only for some standard enemy to come around the corner and kill you in less than two seconds because you aren't quick enough to get a headshot off. Stuff like that happens in this game all the time, especially in the caves. Add in the fact that it is ridiculously dark and hard to see, and it all adds up to one frustrating experience.

And then there is the climbing. Again, this becomes a problem in the dark cave levels at the end of the game. There is almost no grace issued by the game when you fall. There's a part where you have to climb down a vertical tunnel next to a catwalk, and let me tell you it was extremely maddening to pull off - even with save states. Don't even get me started on the level where you have to escape from the flaming warehouse. There are a ton of areas where you'll be walking on a catwalk and it just falls out from underneath you with no warning whatsoever. Boom. Dead. Come on, game! And I almost forgot the part where you have to climb on a T-Rex in the museum while saving a man who is being held at gunpoint. One bad move and you die. One bad shot and he dies. Back to the checkpoint you go. Another supremely frustrating moment in the game.

Now that this is all out of my system, let's focus on the positive. Despite its flaws, this is an addicting game. Once I figured out the nuances of its control system, everything started to click into place for me. I wanted to keep playing and see where the game would take me next. I had no interest in the game's storyline. I was all about the fun locations and the different strategies required to advance. I truly enjoyed the stealth levels the most. Like the snowy base section, where you are trying to get into the bunker. There's something super cool about sneaking around in the dark during a gentle snowfall, picking off enemies one by one. At the same time, the levels where you'd go in guns blazing were fun, also. My main beef with the game is its difficulty and unfairness level towards the end of the game.

All in all, I'd rate my experience with the gameplay as slightly above average. I was never enamored with the game, but I never hated it either. It had its parts where it was addicting and fun, and it had its parts where I wanted to pull my hair out. By the time I made it to the end of the game, I was beyond ready to be done with it.

Graphics:

This game has that classic jagged-edge polygonal look to it associated with PlayStation games from the 90s. A lot of people don't like this look, and consider it one of the more ugly eras of gaming. But I love it.

I can look right at this game and criticize its blockiness, sloppy textures, and uninspired enemy design, but I can also appreciate its look at the same time. There's just something about this era of gaming I find undeniably charming.

Where this game shines is in its locations. As I mentioned before, there are several real life locations from Washington DC that appear in the game. My favorite is the Washington Park level. I posted a screenshot of it above. It may not look like much, but the whole level is so incredibly atmospheric. It's dark, misty, and rainy. You're walking around with these green-tinted night vision goggles on. It's quiet. The sound of rainfall draws you in. It's hard not to completely lose yourself in the game. Whatever the tone was that the makers of Syphon Filter were going for, I feel this level is the truest embodiment of that tone.

The other levels look good, too. I particularly enjoyed shooting bad guys among the exhibits in the museum. Getting into a gun fight right next to the big space ships, aquariums and dioramas of the museum is truly a special feeling. Especially when you look at the detail put into the environment.

Sound:

Hard to get too excited about the game's sound. I don't remember any of the music and the voice acting is terrible. I suppose I'll give credit where it is due - the game does minimalism well. I'll use the Washington Park level as an example yet again. Put some headphones on when you play this level. It's dark. It's quiet. All you hear is the pitter patter of the rain and the blowing of the wind. It really makes you feel on edge, like you are a part of the game's world.

Aside from that, I don't really have anything else to say. The game sounds fine. Nothing more, nothing less. Fine.

Overall:

I really wish I liked this game more than I ended up liking it. At least I was able to get more out of it than I ever did as a kid. But like I said, this game is a very mixed bag. When the gameplay is clicking, it is fun to play. I enjoyed seeing what new locations or fun missions I'd experience next. But so much of the game is bogged down by vague mission objectives and extreme difficulty spikes. Some of the crap they throw at you towards the end of the game is just downright unfair, and it nearly ruined the whole thing for me.

If I had to sum up the game in the simplest of terms, I would say it is "slightly above average." I didn't like the game well enough to give it a score in the B range. It isn't bad enough for a D. It just kind of hovers around the average or slightly above average range for me. I suppose I'll be generous with the game. I like its look. I had fun with it (most of the time). There's just something undeniably charming about the game that I can't deny. It didn't get critical acclaim and spawn a bunch of sequels for nothing. But at the same time, the game pissed me off and frustrated me like no other. And that is even with save states and a rewind feature. I can't fathom playing this game to completion back in 1999. I would have gone absolutely insane. 

So I suppose a C+ is more than fair. In fact, Syphon Filter should take it and run before I change my mind.

THE GRADE:

C+

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Video Game Review #617: Alien Syndrome

Alien Syndrome

Nintendo Entertainment System

Nostalgia Factor:

I have fond memories of playing Alien Syndrome at the arcades when I was a kid. The game always intrigued me with its mysterious outer space setting and its creative alien bosses. Unfortunately, I never saw much of the arcade game because of its extreme difficulty combined with the inability to continue when you run out of lives.

I know for a fact that I rented a home version of this game when I was a kid. I did slightly better than I did when playing the arcade game. I want to say I made it to level 4 or 5? But still, the game was too hard for me. Looking back, I could have sworn that I rented this game for the Sega Genesis. But doing my research here in 2026, I'm noticing that there was never a version of this game released for the Genesis. So it must have been the NES version I played as a kid. I only mention this because it seems like some kind of weird Mandela effect going on with me. Like, if you put a gun to my head and asked me which version of this game I had played as a kid, I would have said it was the Genesis. But I would have been wrong.

Regardless, I've finally decided to come back and see if I could beat this game that I've been unable to beat for over 30 years now. Plus, I'm just curious to see how it compares to the memories of it that I've built up in my mind. Alien Syndrome - let's check it out!  

Story:

There's not much of a story here. You control one of two soldiers: Ricky or Mary. It's the future, and there's been an alien invasion. You must fight your way through a series of 6 stages, rescuing 12 prisoners from each stage and then fighting a boss at the end of each stage. When you are done, you go right into a boss battle against the end character. The big bad alien head guy.

When you beat him, your characters are lauded as heroes, while the game hints at a possible return from the aliens in the future. The end.

Gameplay:

This is a very simple and straightforward game. You take control of your character. You'll notice the isometric perspective. Your goal is to rescue 12 prisoners located in the level. Once you rescue them, the level exit opens up. You must make it to the level exit. Once inside, you fight a boss character. Beat the boss, and you move onto the next stage.

You start with a simple pea shooter gun. You can shoot in all four directions, plus diagonals. Enemies constantly come at you. Touch them and you die. They get progressively harder as the game goes on. The enemies in the first level of the game are much slower and easier to defeat than the enemies on stage 5, which are fast and can shoot at you.

Levels are big and maze-like. On the walls, you'll notice some computer stations. Most of these are different weapons you can pick up. I liked to use the laser. There's also a fire weapon and a few others I didn't really use at all. Some computer stations give you points. Others can transport you to the other side of the level. There are also maps covering the walls. You'll often stop to check these out, since they show you exactly where each prisoner is hidden in the level.

I'm a little surprised that I was not able to beat this game as a kid. I probably didn't have the patience for it. But it wasn't nearly as hard as I'd thought it would be. I played through it twice for this review - the first time using save states (just to get through the game), and the second time playing through it naturally. The game is generous in giving out extra lives. Plus, when you use up all your lives, you can continue from the start of the stage you died on. I must not have put much time or effort into this game as a kid, because I didn't have too much of a problem making it through the game this time around.

Before we move on, I'll talk about the bosses. I think most people remember the bosses from this game more than anything. Each boss is fairly big and takes up a lot of room on the screen. They all have a vulnerable spot (often an open mouth or unguarded weak area). They all have a set pattern they follow. Most of them launch projectiles at you to make the fight harder. You can shoot these projectiles out of the sky. While I found the bosses to be tough the first time I played through this game, I was surprised at how well I did against them the second time around. I didn't even need save states to kick their butts. Just recognize the pattern, get in hits when you can, and don't panic. Rinse and repeat. Even the final boss follows the same formula, and is not hard to defeat at all.

Graphics:

This game suffers a fairly significant graphical downgrade from the arcade version. It looks well enough on the NES, but it will never win any beauty awards. I do give it props for the varied stages that get weirder and more alien as the game goes on. And the enemies themselves are all unique and distinct for each level of the game. My favorites are the creatures that are clearly inspired by the xenomorphs in Alien. Shout out to the enemies in stage 4 that resemble disembodied dicks crawling around on the ground, and the walls in stage 5 that look like vajayjays that shoot enemies out like projectiles. 

The bosses are the main thing I remember from the arcade game. They aren't quite as detailed or gnarly looking here on the NES, but they do a good enough job. I like how they are all varied in appearance. They each have something "cool" about them.

Sound:

The music for this game is very forgettable. I played through this game twice for my review, and even after finishing it the second time, I still barely remember anything about the music. I think it is recycled and used in every stage. If not, each tune sounds similar enough where they might as well be recycled. It's kind of a low, rhythmic beat. Dun, dun, dun, DA NAH, dun, dun, dun, DA NAH over and over again. When you collect all prisoners and the countdown to escape begins, the music isn't frantic or fast paced. It changes to a slightly cheerful song, heavily reminiscent of the music in a game called Thundercade that I used to play all the time when I was a kid.

I suppose audio capability on the NES wasn't really suited for making the game feel more creepy or atmospheric. They did the best they could, and that's all that counts. To be honest, the music and sound effects section is always the least important part of my reviews. As long as the game is fun and it doesn't sound egregiously bad, it's all good to me.

Overall:

I had a surprisingly good time with this game. I had expected it to be a half-baked port of a pretty good arcade game, but it turned out to be a solid enough title on its own merits. The fact that I played through it twice (once with save states and once without) should tell you I had a good time with it. Because my time is limited and very important to me. I'm not going to play a game twice if I am not having a good time with it.

I'm curious to go back and give the arcade game another shot. I know it looks better and it has higher production value - but how is the gameplay? Is it possible that the NES version is actually better than the arcade? I can't quite make that claim at the moment, but I will put the arcade version of this game on my to-play list. I'm curious now.

So there you have it. If you haven't played this game, it is well worth checking out. If you've played it and haven't come back and revisited it in a long time, you should find that it holds up quite well. I'm not going to say this is an AMAZING title or anything I'd consider an all-time classic, but it's fun enough. Will I ever play it again in my life? Probably not. But I'm glad I came back to it and was able to finish it off. Gives me closure for yet another game I played as a kid but I wasn't quite good enough to beat.

THE GRADE:

B

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2026 Things: April

A complete list of all the movies I watched, podcasts I listened to, video games I completed, and episodes of TV I watched in the month of April, 2026.

Previous 2026 months:

January

February

March

4.1: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.17). Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (110). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro (Live Show May 28, 2021). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (50.06). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: The White Lotus (2.07 recap).

4.2: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.18). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.12). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (31.02). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.09). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (God's Mouth).

4.3: Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 78). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (31.03). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.10). Finished video game: Gris. Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (2.13). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.156).

4.4: Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (It: Welcome to Derry: In the Name of the Father). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (31.04). Watched 2 episodes of The Mortician (1.01, 1.02). Listened to 1 episode of The Stephen Kingcast (Announcement Ep 4.4.26). 

4.5: Watched 1 episode of The Mortician (1.03). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 79). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Gaming (ep 62). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: The White Lotus (S2 Finale: Rob and Josh Talk with Amanda and Ariel).  Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.157). Listened to 1 episode of The Stephen Kingcast (ep 25). Listen to 1 episode of Staff Picks (The Hateful Eight). 

4.6: Watched 1 episode of Hannibal (2.01). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (3.01). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.11). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (ep 150). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 263). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (Stephen Graham Jones on My Heart is a Chainsaw). 

4.7: Watched 2 episodes of Hannibal (2.02, 2.03). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (4.2.26 ep). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (3.12, 3.13). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.19). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (Marvel Video Games: Ranked!). Watched movie: Thunderball.

4.8: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.20). Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (Micro 69). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (The Ronald McDonald House). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.14). Watched 1 episode of Star Trek: Voyager (1.07). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (50.07).

4.9: Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (Spyro the Dragon). Watched 1 episode of Hannibal (2.04). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.15). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.21). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (Grad Night in the Haunted Mansion). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (31.05). Listened to 2 episodes of Looking Back at Lost (111 and 112). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.159).

4.10: Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: The White Lotus (2.07 feedback). Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 74). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (3.16, 3.17). Watched 2 episodes of The Challenge (31.06, 31.07). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (3.02).

4.11: Watched 2 episodes of The Challenge (31.08, 31.09). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (3.03). Listened to 1 episode of The 7th Rule (ep 312). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.158). 

4.12: Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (Demonic Toys Commentary). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 80). Listened to 1 episode of The Stephen Kingcast (ep 18). Completed video game: The Simpsons: Bart vs. The Space Mutants). Watched 1 episode of Hannibal (2.05). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.18).

4.13: Finished video game: Far Cry V. Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (QSC Savepoint ep 2). Watched movie: The Forever Purge. Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (ep 116).

4.14: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.22). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.19). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (Darkness). 

4.15: Watched 2 episodes of Hannibal (2.06, 2.07). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (Top 10 Video Game Worlds to Live In). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.23). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (31.10). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (50.08). Watched 1 episode of Lost (3.20). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 264).

4.16: Watched 3 episodes of Lost (3.21, 3.22, 3.23). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (4.9.26 ep). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (14.24). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 236). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (31.11). 

4.17: Watched 1 episode of Hannibal (2.08). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (3.04). Watched 2 episodes of The Challenge (31.12, 31.13). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (It: Welcome to Derry - The Black Spot). Watched 1 episode of Lost (4.01). 

4.18: Listened to 2 episodes of Post Show Recaps: The White Lotus (Season 2 Wrap Up with Nicole Cesternino, White Lotus + Other Vacation Spots). Watched 3 episodes of The Challenge (31.14, 31.15, 31.16). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.161). Watched 1 episode of House of Villains (3.01). Watched 1 episode of Lost (4.02). 

4.19: Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Gaming (Game Launch Edition: Resident Evil Requiem). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (4.16.26 ep). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (CCExtra #13). Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 73). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (Morbin' Edition: Morbius Morbie Review). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.164). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (The Art of Jacob Emory). Watched movie: Project Hail Mary. Watched 1 episode of Home Improvement (1.19). Watched 1 episode of Lost (4.03). 

4.20: Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (100 Hardest Levels of All Time). Watched 1 episode of Hannibal (2.09). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (3.05). Watched 1 episode of Lost (4.04). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 81). 

4.21: Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (113). Watched 1 episode of Lost (4.05). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.167). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (3.06). Watched 1 episode of House of Villains (3.02). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (30.01). 

4.22: Watched 2 episodes of Hannibal (2.10, 2.11). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (30.02). Finished video game: Syphon Filter. Watched 2 episodes of Lost (4.06, 4.07). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (It: Welcome to Derry - Winter Fire). 

4.23: Watched 1 episode of Lost (4.08). Watched 1 episode of Hannibal (2.12). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 82). Watched 1 episode of House of Villains (3.03). Finished video game: Alien Syndrome (NES). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (50.09). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (Killswitch). Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (114). 

4.24: Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.168). Watched 1 episode of Hannibal (2.13). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (4.09, 4.10). Watched 2 episodes of The Challenge (30.03, 30.04). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps (White Lotus Sicily, But Make it Survivor). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (3.07).

4.25: Listened to 2 episodes of Arcade Attack (eps 265, 266). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (4.23.26 ep). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (At the Movies Edition: Thor: Love and Thunder). Watched 1 episode of House of Villains (3.04). Listened to 1 episode of Creepy pod (He Hunts). Watched 1 episode of Lost (4.11).

4.26: Listened to 1 episode of The 7th Rule (ep 314). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (4.24.26 ep). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (It: Welcome to Derry Showrunner Jason Fuchs). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (Bushido Blade). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.162). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (4.12, 4.13). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (3.08). Listened to 2 episodes of Creepy pod (Why You Can't Talk to the Dead, Black Eyed Kids). 

4.27: Watched 3 episodes of Lost (4.14, 5.01, 5.02). Watched 3 episodes of Obi-Wan Kenobi (1.01, 1.02, 1.03). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (3.09). Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (ep 119). Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (115). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 83). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (Summer Game Fest Roundup). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.165). Watched movie: The Lighthouse. Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Gaming (ep 63).

4.28: Watched 2 episodes of Obi-Wan Kenobi (1.04, 1.05). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (5.03, 5.04). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.169). Watched 3 episodes of House of Villains (3.05, 3.06, 3.07). Listened to 1 episode of The Stephen Kingcast (Sample Episode - Something Very Bad is Going to Happen).

4.29: Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (ep 66). Watched 3 episodes of Lost (5.05, 5.06, 5.07). Watched 1 episode of The Sopranos (3.10). Watched 2 episodes of House of Villains (3.08, 3.09).

4.30: Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (Firestarter 2022 Review w/ Director Keith Thomas). Watched 1 episode of House of Villains (3.10). Watched 2 episodes of Lost (5.08, 5.09). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (ep 83). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (50.10). Listened to 1 episode of Looking Back at Lost (116).

Most things done (min of 6)

38 episodes of Lost watched

19 episodes of The Challenge watched

13 episodes of Hannibal watched

12 episodes of The Sopranos watched

11 episodes of The FF Dynasty played

10 episodes of House of Villains watched

9 episodes of Creepy podcast played

8 episodes of Australian Survivor watched (plus 5 eps of US Survivor watched for 13 total)

7 episodes of Retrovaniacs played

7 episodes of Looking Back at Lost played

6 episodes of Obi-Wan Kenobi watched

6 episodes of The Retrograde played

6 episodes of Post Show Recaps: The White Lotus played

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Video Game Review #616: Far Cry 5

Far Cry 5

PlayStation 4

Nostalgia Factor:

It's funny when you look at my history of playing Far Cry games:

Far Cry Classic: 2015

Far Cry 2: 2022

Far Cry 3: 2023

Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon: 2024

Far Cry 4: 2025

And now Far Cry 5 in 2026. Aside from that 7-year gap between Far Cry 1 and 2, I've been doing a pretty good job at consistently finishing one Far Cry game every calendar year. With this review, the pattern continues.

But this is actually a game I've been playing off and on since July of 2025. It seems like something always happened to pull me away from the game. I first tried to play a physical disc copy of the game, but then the PS4 stopped reading the disc midway through the introduction. I waited. I downloaded it on the PS4. I played it for a day or two and then decided to set it aside for a little bit to focus on finishing up a few other games I was playing. A "little bit" turned into months and months.

Before I knew it, it was 2026. I started the game again, but once again set it aside to finish The Legend of Dragoon and Ecco: Defender of the Future, which I'd also been laboring through. After I was done with those games, I tried playing this game yet again, only to put it down once more in favor of other things. I just wasn't getting into it like I was with previous Far Cry games. I was almost about to give up on it, to be honest with you.

Eventually I reached a point where I had beaten all the other games I was playing. I circled back around to Far Cry 5 one final time. If I still couldn't get into the game, I'd delete it off my PS4 and move onto other things. And wouldn't you know it? After months and months of unsuccessfully trying to get into the game, something finally clicked with me. Whatever it was that wasn't resonating with me suddenly vanished.

I was ready to dive in. Just like I am now with this review: ready to dive in. So let's do it.

Story:

Each Far Cry game has its own unique destination, and this one is set in rural United States. Montana, to be exact. You play as an unnamed rookie SWAT officer, who is part of a mission to arrest a cult leader named Joseph Seed. You land on his compound in a helicopter. His compound is creepy as all hell, but you get him back to the chopper okay. You are about to get out of dodge with prisoner in tow. And then all hell breaks loose.

The cultists swarm the chopper as it takes off, causing it to crash. Your team is scattered all throughout the land. You find yourself in a war between the normal folks living in the area and the cultists, who have taken over and are polluting the land with the drugs they are making. The cult is led by the aforementioned Joseph Seed, along with his siblings John, Jacob, and Faith. Each sibling is in charge of one region on the map. The long-term goal of the game is to conquer each region on the map, eliminating Joseph's siblings until only Joseph remains. The final area of the game then unlocks, and you take the battle directly to Joseph's compound for the final showdown.

Since this is a Far Cry game, expect to encounter a lot of wild and memorable characters. The Seeds themselves are massive characters and steal every scene they're in. Faith is my favorite. Some of the "rebel" NPCs send you on interesting missions, like collecting bull testicles for the local Testicle Festival. This game is meant to be a parody on American culture, and it isn't subtle about it. Guns, giant flags, fireworks, eagles bursting out of balls of flame, vehicles with tires that are far too big on them. The game takes many a jab at redneck culture, along with other topics like religion, drug manufacturing, doomsday prepping, and gun trafficking.

Gameplay:

This game is a little different from the past few Far Cry games, which I suppose is a good thing because they were starting to get a bit predictable. Instead of dropping you in a big open world with a bunch of objectives on your map, your initial path is much more focused. You move along the map, which is mostly greyed out because you haven't explored it yet. You meet people, you take on missions. Eventually things start to open up for you. 

While there are elements of previous Far Cry games to be found here, this game does a good job at carving out its own unique identity. Things aren't so simple anymore. It's not just "climb watch tower, unlock map, raid enemy bases, pick up collectibles, hunt animals." I mean, these things are present in the game. But it doesn't feel like you're doing the same things over and over again. It's not as formulaic. I don't even know how to describe it, and I don't have any specific examples to give. But it's like these elements are incorporated into the game more organically than previous games. 

Controls are fairly simple, once you get a hang of them. For some reason, I was a bit intimidated by them when I started playing. They just weren't clicking with me for some reason. Eventually I got used to what the L and R trigger buttons did, as well as the analog D-pad controls. Learning these are crucial, because if you hit the wrong button at the wrong time, it can have catastrophic consequences. I kept doing stupid things like accidentally throwing grenades in the middle of stealth sequences.

In general, I found myself getting killed left and right. It took me a long time to finally find my footing and get into the flow of the game. I don't know if it is because this game is different from other Far Crys, and I came in trying to play it like one of them - or if this really is a tough game to get into.

This game is filled with lots of "bad luck moments" which were part of the reason for killing my enjoyment early on in the game. I kept getting spotted by random airplanes flying overhead, which would promptly kill me. I remember a mission where you climb a tower, and a plane spotted me right before I could complete the mission. Shot me out of the sky. WTF? Enemies on foot would spot me seemingly everywhere I would go. It's like I couldn't do anything without constantly being under attack. Eventually, you start to understand how to navigate this game's world, but right off the bat, it's tough! Another particular moment that drove me away is when you have to destroy this big rig that has gone rogue. This was early in the game. I had a rocket launcher in my inventory and I defeated it easily. A plane comes by right afterwards and shoots me dead. The game reloads. But you know what? For some reason, it didn't count the mission as complete. I had to defeat the big rig all over again. But now I only had a handgun and a light automatic in my inventory. I tried to take on that big rig about 5 times and I was just getting annihilated by it. I was so mad, because I had beaten it already, but the game didn't save my progress. I didn't feel it was fair that I had to do it all over again. I ended up shutting the game off. And this turned into a several month long break from the game before I would return to it again.

Like I said, this game got off to a very rough start for me. But once it started to click, all those concerns I had went away. I just needed to power through the first few hours. It took me over half a year to put a few hours into the game, but eventually I got there.

The game really blossoms when the map opens up. It's one of those games where there is something to do every ten steps you take. Stop at this small little town and see what this guy on the map wants? Or how about raid the nearby doomsday prepper bunker for supplies? Maybe do some racing? Raid an outpost? Rescue civilians from this cultist van that just popped up on my radar? Destroy a shrine? Look for collectibles like comic books and music records? Maybe do some hunting or fishing?

There are a ton of different vehicles which make the map very accessible. Boats, cars, helicopters, etc. I enjoyed cruising around in the helicopter and just taking in the sights (in addition to showing me all the things on the map). Weapon selection is normal for a Far Cry game. Handguns, bows and arrows, sniper rifles, machine guns, RPGs, etc. You also have a nice variety of throwing objects like knives, grenades, and sticks of dynamite to chuck around. 

Stealth plays a big part in the game, as usual. But in this game, it doesn't quite seem to matter. Enemies go down easier than normal - at least it seemed that way to me. Maybe I'm just getting better at Far Cry. But never once when I tripped an alarm did I think "oh no, I'm fucked." I always knew I could fight my way out of trouble fairly easily.

Missions in the game are full of some nice variety, although there's nothing really here we haven't seen before. They mainly consist of going to a location and collecting something (and then escaping), annihilating a target, rescuing hostages, destroying the rampaging animal, or blowing something up. There are some unique missions here and there, like the whole Testicle Festival thing. There's another mission where you burn greenhouses full of illegal drugs. There are some nice flying stages where you either dogfight other aircraft or destroy transmitters on top of broadcast towers. I finished the game a few weeks ago. I should have been quicker writing my review because now I can't remember a lot of the missions or what you had to do in them. Some reviewer I am.

It all circles around to the game being fun. I love the map, the location, and how there is always something to do. This is one of those games that kept me up for hours past my bed time. I just wanted to collect one more thing or do one more mission. Or just get to a nice, convenient place to save. And then I would keep going.

A few more miscellaneous tidbits. You earn experience points as you play. You use these points to level up character attributes. Increased health, increased ammunition storage, extra slots on your weapon wheel - that kind of thing. You can also unlock abilities for your companions. You unlock these companions by helping people on the map as you make your way through the game. Each one has a special ability (sniper, explosives master, melee fighter, etc). My favorite was the dog. His sense of smell automatically highlights everyone on the map, and I found that to be more invaluable than anything that a more combat oriented partner could bring to the table.

One last thing before we move on. I guess my main criticism of the game would be in its story progression. Once you reach a certain level of completion percentage in each region, the game's bosses start coming for you, and you enter an automatic battle segment against them. You don't get to choose when you go into combat against them. You could be out fishing and those MFs will come for you. I would have liked the ability to head to an icon on the map to initiate a boss mission instead of being forced into one. Also, the boss segments are very repetitive, with the same level layouts and combat sequences repeated time after time. I understand that you are supposed to be drugged and these levels are supposed to be psychedelic and dream-like, but come on. Do we really need to play through the same part four times? I thought I was doing something wrong when I noticed these stages start to repeat themselves.

Graphics:

This is an awesome looking game. I have literally no complaints about the way it looks. The scenery steals the show, with its beautiful forests, cliffs, lakes, and rivers. Previous Far Cry games have had a more exotic feel, whereas this one is set in a much more recognizable locale. It feels very much like areas "up north" in Wisconsin and Michigan where I've stayed. In fact, the whole vibe of the game also feels a bit like Days Gone, which is another game I enjoyed.

The characters look great as well. The satirical American theme runs through the game's blood. The American flag clothing, the trailers, the hillbillies, the explosions and the fireworks. But also the beauty of the nation's natural landscape. It's very impressive that this is an 8 year-old "previous gen" PS4 game. This looks like it could have been done on the hardware of today. Games like this are another example of why I'm in no rush to make the move from the PS4 to the PS5. The technological leap just isn't the same as it was back when you were moving from 8 to 16 bit, or 16 to 32 bit.

Sound:

Far Cry games always knock it out of the park in the sound department. The music is probably the best in the series to date. There's lots of different things to listen to on the game's radio stations. Even the choirs singing church music and remixes of old Gospel songs are nice to listen to. Then there are popular songs you'd hear on the radio. I have to say that the Creedence Clearwater Revival songs fit the theme of this game like a glove. Expect to hear other rock classics. I'm not going to list them all here, but I haven't seen a video game soundtrack with this many bangers since the GTA series.

The voice acting is also top-notch. Far Cry always sells its villains extremely well, and it begins and ends with the voice acting. The Seeds are so charismatic and interesting. They always steal the scene when they are on screen. The monologuing can get old, I suppose. They do tend to ramble on a bit. But they give the game so much personality. I always enjoyed the way the game's drug (Bliss) affects the audio quality when your character is exposed to it. It gives the game a bit of an otherworldly quality for a while.

Overall:

I really, really liked this game. It may even be my favorite Far Cry title now. Or maybe I say that every time I review a Far Cry game. But really, I liked this! It's a bummer it took me so long to get into the game. I started playing it in July of 2025, and it took me months and months of off again/on again playing to finally become invested in it. I feel like the game is much better than that. I wonder if my experience is unique, or if other people have struggled out of the gate with this one as well?

Once this game got its claws in me, all I wanted to do was play play play. I fired this up nearly every day, using up nearly every second of my free time for several weeks in a row, until I was done playing the game. I didn't collect 100% of everything. I rarely ever do in these games, unless you can earn an easy platinum by getting everything. But there's too much to do here. I beat the game twice, earning both endings. I had seen all I needed to see.

I can easily recommend Far Cry 5 to you. The games in this series just keep getting better and better. I can't wait to play more! See you in 2027 when I play through Primal or 6.

THE GRADE:

A-

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Video Game Review #615: The Simpsons: Bart vs. The Space Mutants

The Simpsons: Bart vs. The Space Mutants

Nintendo Entertainment System

Nostalgia Factor:

This is a game I've been wanting to review since I created this blog back in 2015. Bart vs The Space Mutants was a big part of my childhood. It was the one and only Simpsons game I had. I was ten years old. I remember being perplexed by this game's difficulty and its odd gameplay quirks. But ten year olds back in the early 90s didn't have much to do. Whenever I got a new video game, I was going to sink a lot of time into it whether it was good or bad.

To this day, I still don't really know if this game is good or not. I know that I pumped a lot of time into it. I know that I eventually became quite good at it - to the point where I considered beating the game to be easy. One specific childhood memory I have is of a family reunion where there were kids visiting from sides of the family I didn't even know existed. I started playing this game on one of the TVs, and a bunch of kids started to gather and watch. Most of these kids had probably never made it past the first level of the game. And here's me, zipping my way through the levels and beating it easily in front of everyone. I remember so many minds being blown that day. Even the bigger kids were impressed. I usually don't play for an audience, so this memory always sticks out to me quite fondly.

It wasn't long before I stopped playing this game and I moved onto the next big thing. When it was time to move onto the 16-bit era about a year or so later, my mom sold off all my NES games (a decision I still rue to this day). I would never play Bart vs. The Space Mutants again. Until now.

That's a 33 or 34 year gap in my life where I did not play the game. I had plenty of opportunities to. I remember my friend Brett giving me a physical copy when he moved away to Colorado in the 2010s. I think I put it in to see if it was working, but I never actually played it. There were a few times in the late 2010s I flirted with the idea of playing the game. I remember mentioning it to my friend Rita at work and she had fond memories of the game also, so I ended up loaning it to her. But I still didn't play it myself. Finally, here in 2026, I decided to just go ahead and find a rom of the game online since lugging the NES out of storage and hooking it up to a TV that doesn't have the proper inputs is so inconvenient these days. Plus: save states. The idea of being able to save a game at any time and reload it when you mess up is something I live for these days. I don't have time for all that trial and error, and restarting from the beginning of the game anymore.

Playing this game again unlocked sooooo many core gaming memories. I remember the first stage fondly, but nothing much past it. But holy cow. The more I played, the more I kept remembering. The mall where you knock hats off people. The crazy difficult jumps. The museum. Jumping from bone to bone over the mud. The Aztec statue things. The amusement park. Shooting balloons and playing carnival games. The maze-like power plant. I had completely forgotten about ALL these things.  

If there is one game in the whole history of this blog that benefits from rose-tinted glasses, it is this one. Like I said, I still don't even really know if this is actually a good game or not. But did I have fun with it? Heck yeah. I've blathered on long enough. Let's dive into the full review.

Story:

Aliens have invaded Springfield. They are taking over the bodies of its inhabitants one by one. What is fueling their invasion effort? Purple colored items. Yeah, you read that right. Purple colored items. Playing as Bart, the first level consists of running around the streets of Springfield spray painting all purple items red. The story continues. Oh, would you look at that? Now guess what is fueling the invasion effort? Hats. You have to go through the shopping mall and collect hats so the aliens can't use them. Then the aliens pivot to exit signs (yeah really). So you have to collect those. And then balloons. Finally, at the power plant, Bart collects a bunch of plutonium that drives the aliens away. The end.

The plot isn't very deep or interesting, but it is fun and I like seeing the cutscenes with the aliens in between stages. The game is funny and offbeat, and it captures the early 90s feel of The Simpsons well.

Gameplay:

This is the most contentious thing about the game: its gameplay. To me, this is the most important aspect of any game. Who cares if it looks or sounds good if it isn't any fun to play? That's what it all boils down to. Is Bart vs the Space Mutants any fun to play? Well, yes. At least to me it is. But I have no problem admitting that this game is not for everyone.

It takes a while to fully understand the controls. A jumps. B uses whatever weapon you happen to have on you. In the first level, it is the spray paint. In order to run, you have to jump, hold A, and then continue to hold it after you hit the ground to keep running. If you want to do a long jump, you have to jump using A, and then quickly hit and hold B as you also hold the direction you want to jump. It's really janky, and takes a while to get used to. 

You'll notice you have a number of items on you. You can scroll through them using the select button. To use the item, you have to hit start. It's kind of weird. For example, let's say you select X-Ray specs. You hit start, and when you see a civilian walk by, it shows if they are secretly an alien or not. If so, jump on its head to defeat it. You can do this to collect letters that spell out the name of someone in the Simpsons family. In the first level, it is M-A-G-G-I-E. If you collect all of them, that character appears during the boss fight to help you out. If you don't collect them all, you have to defeat the boss on your own.

Each level has a purpose. In the first one, it is to destroy or paint over 25 purple things. This is where the game is at its most creative. Use your spray paint to paint over signs and fire hydrants. You can buy bottle rockets at the store to shoot out purple windows. Go up on a clothes line and cover up purple laundry with other clothes. A memorable moment early in the game is when you put a coin into the pay phone at the phone booth. You perform a prank call to Moe's (and there are several different jokes you could wind up hearing). An angry man comes out of the bar and you spray paint his purple shirt red. Long story short: you have to get rid of everything purple - and it is hard. And you have to really be clever. I remember when I first discovered that you could wait outside the movie theater for a kid to appear that you have to spray paint. It was one of the first ever "lightbulb" moments I can remember as far as puzzle solving in a video game. 

The action continues in the second level, which has you going through a mall and collecting hats. The third one has you in a museum collecting exit signs. The most fun level in the game, at least in my opinion, is the amusement park. You can shoot down balloons, and participate in carnival games. The whole setting of the level has always been really fun to me. The last level is one that takes a lot of memorization, as it is an enormous maze full of passwords you have to memorize.

What most people remember about the game is the difficulty. And it is absolutely brutal. Like I said before, I used save states to make my way through the game. I don't know how I did this as a kid. I was an ace at this game. I did put a lot of of hours into it. I can't imagine how many times I had to restart the entire game trying to nail the difficult jumps in the mall level. I remember the museum being difficult also, jumping on the skeletons over the quicksand. There are no continues in this game. If you run out of lives, you have to start the whole game over again. I don't really have the time to pour into this game like that as an adult. That's why I don't feel guilty about using save states and cheesing my way through the game.

If I did have the time and patience to become good at this game, I think I could have done it. The controls are very difficult, and I hate the way you long-jump and run in this game. But I would have started to nail it eventually. I think it would have taken me a good week or two on original hardware to beat the game, depending on how much time I put into it each day. But it could be done.

Presentation:

The game may not look too great by today's standards, but as a kid back in 1991, I had no complaints. It looked very simple, but it still managed to capture the look and feel of the Simpsons quite well. The title screen by itself was enough to get me pumped up to play the game.

There are many locations from the show included, such as Moe's Tavern, the Kwik-E-Mart, and the Jebediah Springfield statue. The music is essentially the Simpsons theme on repeat. It may get annoying after a while, but hey at least it is always clear what game you're playing at all times. You could never forget you are playing a Simpsons game with the music and all the Simpsons stuff crammed into this game.

Don't let the very basic look of the game fool you. There's a lot more depth to things than initially meets the eye.

Overall:

I'm glad I finally came back to play this game. 33 years is quite the long gap between playthroughs. I can't tell if the nostalgia I have for this game is the reason I like it, or if I like it because it is actually a good game. I know the controls are not very good. And I know that the difficulty is brutal. There is a lot that could be done to improve this game. Can you imagine this game with good controls, a user friendly menu system, and updated graphics, like they did for the Ducktales remaster? That game would be incredible.

But this game. This game has a lot of areas it could improve. It is not a perfect game by any means. It is not even a serviceable game for a lot of people. I know that there are droves of people that dislike this game and found it too difficult. I'm sure 70% of the kids who got this game back then never even made it past the first level. I can totally understand why people may not like this game. Which is why I'm conflicted. I understand it's not a great game, but at the same time, I still really like it.

So I'm going to just toss aside what "everyone else" has to say, and just go with my gut. I like this game. It's either a good game with a lot of flaws, or it's a crappy game that I still find enjoyable for one reason or another. Either explanation works. 

THE GRADE:

B  

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Video Game Review #614: Gris

Gris

PlayStation 4

Before Playing:

I don't have any kind of interesting history or backstory with this game. In fact, I didn't even know about this game until a week or so ago, when I was scanning through the PS Plus library looking for something fun to play. Gris caught my eye. I'm a fan of 2D platformers. The artwork looked really cool. I looked up some reviews online and saw that they were mainly positive. I decided to give the game a shot.

And that's how we got here.

Story:

I feel like I am immediately going to get off on the wrong foot with all the Gris fans coming here looking for a fun or interesting interpretation of the game's story. I don't have one.

I'll be the first to admit: symbolism isn't my thing. I am not a huge fan of David Lynch, or movies like mother! that rely on imagery and symbolism to do the heavy lifting. I am also not a huge fan of games like Inside, Limbo, Braid, or Shadow of the Colossus. Games that are more dreamlike and abstract than anything based in reality, where the ending (and sometimes the entire game) is open to interpretation. I like a straightforward, coherent plot with fully fleshed out characters and a determined beginning and end point. This game doesn't really give you that.

You take control of a young woman named Gris. She is picked up by a statue in the palm of its hand. The statue is of another woman, her identity unknown. The main character falls. She lands in this barren, dreamlike world where she has to pick up stars and use them to make bridges out of constellations so she can advance to the next part of the game. She encounters the female statue often. Jumping into the palm of its hand often triggers a cutscene or a shift to the game's next stage. The relevance of the statue is never truly explained - and again, I am terrible at reading into symbolism. One level, you're underwater being chased by dark eel shark things. Another level, you traverse through the desert, where giant red, angry storms erupt out of nowhere to try and knock you off your feet.

All the levels have an eerie, dreamlike quality. Nothing is ever really explained. At the end of the game, you go through a visually stunning area full of obstacles and cool shit to look at, while emotional music plays. You encounter the giant woman statue again. There's lots of cool special effects. Weird stuff happens. And then the game ends. Wait, what just happened?

I'm not normally one to look online for story recaps of games, but I had to in this instance, simply because I had no idea what I just watched. The story is up for interpretation, but the main theory is that the statue is the mother of the main character. She has recently passed away. The entire game consists of you traversing through levels that are represented by the 7 stages of grief. At the end you gain acceptance, and that is why the game ends. Hmm. Okay.

The story of the game didn't really hit the mark for me. I think I'd be better suited waiting a year or two, and then coming back to play this game again, knowing what I do in advance. I wonder if that would help me appreciate it a bit more.

Gameplay:

This is an extraordinarily simple game to play. It's also one of the easiest games I've played in recent memory. I don't think there's really a way to die. You can't get lost either, as the game is fairly linear in its progression. I've heard it described as an artsy, side-scrolling walking simulator. I can't really argue with that.

There are some platforming elements involved, such as jumping from ledge to ledge. You can't attack. There aren't any enemies to fight. Mainly you just walk forward, occasionally doing an easy platforming section. The toughest it gets is disappearing platforms, or platforms that can change shape as you jump over them. Nothing too complex. 

The closest the game gets to puzzle solving is when you have to collect stars to create your constellation bridges. Let's say you reach a dead end. Clearly you can see a path where you are supposed to go - but you can't yet. What you want to do is take a different path. This will probably lead you to a hidden star or two. Come back to the path where you were supposed to go. The game automatically makes the bridge for you. So all you are really doing is exploring the stage looking for stars. Picture collecting all the K O N G letters in Donkey Kong Country. It's like that, but with none of the challenge.

There's some interesting swimming segments later on in the game. I didn't think I'd be making any Ecco the Dolphin comparisons when I first started playing this, but this is where we are in my review. The controls are very Ecco-like. Especially the charge move. You often have to charge out of the water and leap over to a new body of water. Some of these bodies of water are suspended in the air. Which is funny, because I recently got done playing Ecco: Defender of the Future. Hanging Waters immediately came to mind when playing through these stages.

There are some other small things I've neglected to mention, like the ability to sing or turn yourself into a block of stone. These are small gameplay wrinkles that mainly help you solve puzzles and move onto new areas. They are barely even worth mentioning.

Graphics:

Screenshots of this game don't really do it justice. This is a game you have to see in action to truly appreciate. The artwork is beautiful. The animation is superb. I may not like an abstract storyline, but I don't mind an abstract setting. The game is simply mesmerizing to look at. It is very immersive. Even my wife, who isn't a gamer, commented on how much she liked the look of this game. It's great. I'd recommend turning down the lights and playing this in the dark with your headphones on. It's a magical experience.

Sound:

The sound is very atmospheric as well. Like I said, you need to play this in the dark with headphones on. It makes the whole experience very atmospheric and surreal. When there isn't music, the eerie silence and ambient sound effects help make the game an immersive experience. 

When there is music, it always fits the action onscreen perfectly. One standout moment is during the desert level when the sandstorm rolls through. The screen turns red, and this terrifying music starts playing. It intimidated the hell out of me the first few times I experienced this. And right at the end of the game, there is a segment that nearly had me in tears just because of the swelling music and the intensity of the moment. I didn't know what the hell was going on in the storyline, but I could just feel it was something extremely profound. All because of the music.

Overall:

This is a super hard game for me to grade. If I was going on the visuals and the atmosphere of the game, it would be a 10/10. But to me, graphics aren't everything. In fact, they have historically been very low on my totem pole of importance to me when doing these game reviews. It's the gameplay I'm here for. And I hate to say it, but the gameplay is a bit mediocre.

Take away the cool graphics and the music and put this in some generic 16-bit side scrolling world, and this would be a completely forgettable game. It's short. There's no challenge to it. It's not even that intriguing mechanically. It does nothing new or exciting. It's very... average.

I have to be consistent when doing these reviews. I can't let myself be suckered in by the awesome visuals of the game. It' all about the gameplay for me. And that gameplay is very, very average. I feel as if this should be reflected in the review score. What better what way for me to get my point across than to give it a....

THE GRADE:

C

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