Sunday, April 6, 2025

Video Game Review #570: Resident Evil 2

Resident Evil 2
Nintendo 64


Nostalgia Factor:

I've been a Resident Evil 2 fan for the PlayStation since the moment I first laid eyes on it. I played the heck out of it when I was a teenager and I still come back to it from time to time because I like it so much. It's been a while, though. The last time I played the game was back in 2017 and I gave it an A+ score. 

I've always known that there was a Nintendo 64 version of this game, but I always dismissed it. I would think to myself: there's no way the N64 can handle this game. I bet it is a crappy port. It came out back in 1999, and in the ensuing 26 years I have never even thought of checking this version out... until now!

In recent months I've stumbled across a few online reviews of this game, praising it for its quality. The reviewers pointed out what a technical marvel this game is, as it took two CDs to fit the whole game on it for the PS1, but they could fit it all on one cartridge for the N64. According to the reviewers, it was a near perfect port.

Due to these remarks, I decided to check the game out. I've been wanting to revisit Resident Evil 2 anyway, since it's been 8 years since I played it last. I also haven't reviewed a Nintendo 64 game in a long time. Sounds like the perfect opportunity to take care of both problems at the same time. Let's dive in, shall we?




Story:

Admittedly, this is a lazy move from my end. But nothing has changed regarding the game's story. Nothing. Check out my 2017 review if you want a full breakdown. But I ain't taking the time to do that here.




Gameplay:

I've already written a complete breakdown of how the game works. Call me lazy if you want, but check out the 2017 review of this game if you want the full scoop.

Are there any differences between this game and the PS1 original? Not really any that I could see. I never spent much time with it, but I seem to remember there being some kind of "time attack" mode on the PS1 game after you beat it. I completed this game with both characters (A and B scenarios) and I did not see the same mode unlocked here. Either I did something wrong where it did not unlock, or it is not here in the N64 version.

Aside from that, this is pretty much identical in gameplay to the original game. Oh wait! I seem to remember the ability to lock onto enemies when firing at them in the PS1 game. That ability is not present here. I found myself having to manually aim the entire game, which was a pain in the butt. It also seems the ability to quickly do a 180 spin is missing from the game too. I didn't realize how much I used it until I couldn't anymore. Oh well. The absence of the quick spin and the lock on ability made the game slightly more challenging for me. I can breeze through this game normally, so I guess the extra challenge was appreciated.




Graphics:

The biggest difference between this game and the PS1 original is the graphics. I understand that a drop in quality is to be expected when moving this game from disc to cartridge, so I am not mad about it. 

Don't let the screenshots fool you. Even though I googled the N64 version of this game, all the results look better than the game did when I was actually playing it. The characters are more pixelated than they were before. The backgrounds a little darker and muddier. I also noticed some weird staticy green stuff popping up on the edge of the screen as I played. Sometimes when the camera angle would change, I'd see a flash of the green staticy stuff on the entire screen before the angle would change. It was only for a brief microsecond, but it was definitely distracting. Maybe it was just my copy of the game, but I always felt like it was close to crashing at any second.

Despite the minor drop in graphical quality, I still really liked the game. The slight dip in graphics was not enough to affect my enjoyment of the game one tiny bit. Not only am I super impressed they fit a whole 2-CD game on one cartridge, but they fit the cutscenes on here, too. Wild.

This version of the game allows you to change the color of blood when you or an enemy is wounded. I was going to play with default red, but accidentally changed it to blue when looking through my options. I'm glad I did it though, because seeing blue blood constantly spurt out gives the game a unique feel to the original. I noticed the gore toned down in other areas, as zombie heads don't explode when they are hit with the shotgun at close range. Typical Nintendo censorship.




Sound:

This sounds just as good as the PS1 version. I didn't notice any real differences. I played this in the dark with headphones on, and really got absorbed into the action.




Overall:

I'm shocked at how good this version of the game is. The only major difference is the graphics. It definitely does not look quite as good as the original game. But it is still impressive, considering the hardware limitations. 

The gameplay is unchanged. I often forgot I was playing an alternate version of the game as I made my way through it. It is just as fun as ever. There are a few small differences, but this game is just as fun to play as it was before. That said: in the future when I get the itch to play the game again, I am going to pick the PlayStation version. As good as this one is, it just isn't quite as good as the original.

I'm struggling with my final grade, here. I've always stood by my opinion that graphics don't matter. It is the gameplay that counts. And as far as this game goes, the gameplay is pretty much unchanged from the original RE2. It's still a fun, fantastic game. The original got an A+ from me. If graphics truly don't matter, this should get an A+ too, right? But like I said, if and when I decide to play RE2 again, it is going to be the PS1 version. So that means this one is worse, and that this should be reflected in the final score.... right?

I'm actually going to go with the regular A. I give out too many A pluses, and it is clear that this is the inferior version of the game. An A is still a great score. And honestly, the fact that they fit this all on one cartridge was almost impressive enough to give the game and A+ no matter what.

If you were an N64 kid growing up, and you didn't have a PlayStation, this would have been the perfect alternative to the other game. I would have been totally satisfied with this as a kid. As an adult, it is a fun curiosity that you should definitely check out if you have the means.


THE GRADE:
A


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Saturday, April 5, 2025

Peanut Tape (15)



(00:00:00)

American Idol 4 - New Orleans auditions w/ Gene Simmons as guest judge
 - David Brown's audition
 - Fat gay guy sings and Simon doesn't like his image. He makes the guy sing behind a certain and still says no to him
 - Creepy guy who looks like a magician or something sings Delilah and I Put a Spell on You
 - Lindsay Cardinale audition
 - White dorky guy who Simon thinks looks like a gymnast sings Dancing in the Streets and is awful
 - Montage of bad singers
 - Tall Arab man named Sundeep sings Eye of the Tiger
 - The Incomprehensibles
 - Leroy Wells audition. Can you dig it?
 - The Malfetta twins are rejected
 - Preview from upcoming episodes

(37:49) 

Ripley's Believe it or Not
 - Twins who are joined at the head. They both live together but have different jobs. One of them has a goal of becoming a country singer, so the Ripley's folks bring her to a recording studio and let her sing. It isn't very good.
 - Young Arab girl who chews on her hair has an enormous 3 pound hairball removed from her gut

Police Videos
 - Naked guy runs from the cops and asks them if they've ever seen Star Wars
 - Wild traffic chase

GTA San Andreas commercial

Crank Yankers
 - Man calls Alaskan woman asking her to be his compass buddy. He has her recite a funny little pledge
 - Young woman calls an old black man who had put a personal ad out in the paper and says inappropriate sexual things to him
 - Old geezer calls a travel agency looking to book a gay cruise
 - Special Ed calls a cafeteria and asks "Do you have Jell-o?" repeatedly. Yay!! I love Jello.
 - Radio station calls an office and asks a man to touch his co-worker's crotch and yell "I have the junk!" for a prize
 - Pop Warner football coach is called by crazy guy who wants to sign his son up
 - Man calls rabbi with questions about converting to Judaism. He pukes when they talk about circumcision and having to give up Christmas

(1:10:55)

COPS
 - Woman calls 911 while people are breaking into her house and you can hear them in the background. The police arrive and find the two intruders shot by someone who was helping the occupants of the house.
 - Police respond to a drive by shooting and find a hysterical woman covered in blood. Her boyfriend had been shot

American Idol 4 - Las Vegas auditions. Kenny Loggins is a guest judge
 - Mikala Gordon audition
 - Neil Diamond fan sings with a stabbing motion
 - Bad singer montage
 - Amanda Avila audition
 - Richard Malfetta returns by himself to audition

Mad TV
 - Crazy old lady named Lorraine gets into a car accident with a rich woman

American Idol 4 (cont)
 - Bubbly girl who looks like Colleen from Survivor makes it through
 - Guy who is way too old to be there auditions and says he's only 28
 - Dino Yazzie's brother Dezzie auditions
 - Another bad singer montage
 - Fat psychic lady sings poorly
 - Fat ugly lady sings but is actually good
 - Mario Vazquez audition

(2:03:41)

Crank Yankers
 - Special Ed calls Alcoholics Anonymous
 - Rudy calls a clinic to ask inappropriate questions about breast feeding
 - Elmer calls the mall to complain about how a group of "colored" kids knocked him and his wife over and slapped him while they were trying to get up
 - Motivational speaker calls a restaurant for reservations
 - Dumb Hawaiian calls a kid looking for a housesitter position
 - Woman calls a telemarketing company looking for a job, and the man on the line makes her do funny voices  
 - Rapper guy calls a woman at the market asking dirty questions about peaches and roast beef curtains, and then hits on her 

(2:22:40)

COPS
 - 2 black people and a Mexican are caught trying to steal a bicycle by lifting it over a fence. They lie and say they were trying to throw the bike over the fence.

Clip from the movie Red Sonya. Sonya and an old man walk on the beach and talk 

ESPN interview with Dwyane Wade where he talks about playing with Shaq. This is the same year they won the championship but beforehand

AFV. The Bob Saget years... sweet!
 - Racers jump over a hurdle and into a big pool of water
 - Bike racer runs into the camera
 - Lady golfer hits a ball into the wind and it comes back to where it started
 - Ping pong player crashes into a wall
 - Man tries to catch frisbee on a motor scooter and crashes
 - Little kid tries to direct some kind of story time video and gets mad when everyone messes up their parts
 - Dictionary definitions of the words: balance, buoyancy, synchronize, confidence, bisect, and momentum.... which are paired with funny clips as they are read
 - Boy jumps out of a box and scares mom
 - Funny cat clips
 - "It's Your Thang" music montage
 - Raccoon bites sleeping man on nose
 - Angry little girl bashes at a pinata relentlessly
 - At the end it isn't shown who wins but that's okay because the final 3 clips all suck anyway as usual for AFV
 
Jeff Dunham special on Comedy Central
 - First skit is about Melvin, the little boy who thinks he's a superhero
 - The second skit is all Peanut
 - The third skit involves Jalapeno on a stick coming out and interacting with Peanut
 - Fourth skit is the cranky old man Walter
 
(3:03:30)

That depressing TV special about mistreated bears. At least they are rescued

COPS
 - Man pulled over with a prostitute in his car. It's a trans woman who doesn't know who Jeffrey Dahmer is.

Medical Incredible on the Discovery Channel
 - Lobster claw syndrome. A woman had only 2 fingers/toes on her hands and feet that look like lobster claws
 - Woman takes an antibiotic and has an extreme reaction to it where she loses her outer skin
 - Small segment about how people can grow horns
 - People with Ehler's Danlos Syndrome that makes them flexible but also prone to having their bones pop out and become dislocated
 - Elephant man and other overgrowth syndrome deformities are discussed. A man has feet that won't stop growing and has to have surgery. Also a black child with an enormous hand and finger.
 - Man has fingers torn off in construction accident and has to have toes put on in their place. Also, leeches are used.
 - Maggots used to cure open wounds and infections
 
(3:52:51)

American Idol 4. Cleveland auditions
 - Fat ugly chick who looks like a troll auditions and she is actually good, but the judges say no
 - Montage of bad people
 - Scott Savol audition
 - Mime audition... she doesn't actually sing she just mimes it. Simon jokes that it was better than most people.
 - Weird guy in overalls sings
 - Two enormous black women audition and are rejected because they are terrible
 - Goth girl sings opera style is accepted because of her range
 - Anthony Fedorov audition

AI4. Orlando auditions
 - A bunch of bad people kick off the show
 - Vonzell Solomon audition
 - Montage of people who fake out their friends by hiding the yellow slips
 - Dancing black guy who sings James Brown. Paula lobbies for him and the other judges begrudgingly say yes.
 
Crank Yankers
 - Nun calls kids responding to a personal ad and they keep asking what she's calling about
 - Black mother calls to complain about an old man hanging out in the ball pit with the kids and makes ball jokes
 - Old man calls about wanting to join driving school so they can drive him around to run errands
 - Indian man calls to complain that a dreamcatcher that he bought is giving him bad dreams
 - Rudy calls a video store looking to rent porn and the guy is rude to him and insults him. Buttholestar Galasstica is one of the videos shown in the background
 - Jack Osbourne calls him mom and tricks her to thinking he got arrested

(4:48:19)

AI4. San Francisco auditions. Brandy is a guest judge
 - Mexican guy sings "Wanna Be Startin' Something" and sucks
 - Feminine gay guy sings and sounds like a girl. Simon makes fun of him.
 - Two crooner guys sing and are accepted
 - Crazy Asian girl in fishnets is accepted
 - Black boy makes it through and his mom collapses in excitement
 - Gay guy in a mohawk sucks
 - White rapper is denied
 - Nadia Turner audition
 - Belligerent white guy is denied and flips out and is a bad sport.
 - White guy sings Chain of Fools and sucks
 - White man sings We Are the Champions and they say he sounds exactly like Freddy Mercury
 - Bad people montage
 - JP Malfetta returns to audition and is denied
 - Previews of the road ahead

COPS
 - Old woman calls police on abusive alcoholic husband. He is brought into the station and cries and begs not to be locked up but he is anyway. The tape is pretty shitty here and it becomes unwatchable towards the end.
 - Puerto Rican guy is arrested for roughing up a white man. The guy complains that he's only getting arrested because of racism and the cops agree sarcastically.

Discovery Health channel special about the emergency room. Boy severs his finger in shop class. This isn't a very long segment.

Family Matters. Urkel buys concert tickets and wants to take Laura as his date, but then has second thoughts when he realizes she doesn't care about him and only wants to see the concert. Carl is depressed because it's the one year anniversary of a hostage standoff where a man was killed. This is a sad one.

Family Matters. Urkel brings home an ape named Lowell. Carl starts working out. Tape ends like halfway through the episode.
 

END OF TAPE




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Friday, April 4, 2025

Re-Review #20: The Last of Us Remastered

The Last of Us Remastered
PlayStation 4

For my original review of this game, click


I recently rewatched the first season of The Last of Us TV series. The second season is coming out later in the year, and honestly I didn't remember much about the first season. It came out when I was raising an infant, which was a crazy, sleep deprived chapter of my life. Now that things have settled down a little, I figured I'd come back and refresh my memory of the show so I'd be ready for season two.

A side effect of watching the show is that it gave me the itch to come back and play through this game again. I tried to ignore that itch. For some reason in my mind, I thought that I had played through this game "a ton of times" in the past. And the whole point of this blog is to motivate me to push forward and play new games - not play the same thing over and over again. But when I looked back at my review for the game, I noticed I hadn't played through it since 2018. That's seven years ago now. I had to do a double take. Had it really been seven years since I'd played through The Last of Us? Wow. It seemed so recent in my memory. Time is flying since I became a dad. I decided to say "screw it" and dive back in.

Having played through this game before, plus having watched the first season of the TV series twice in recent years, I pretty much knew what to expect coming in. Nothing was a surprise here. I guess the biggest surprise to me was seeing how different the game and the show are in parts. And seeing how different the characters look and sound. I don't mind the differences, though. If they were going to simply make the show a beat-for-beat recreation of the game, what would the point even be? It would be the same damn thing. I'm glad they took some creative liberties when making the show.

But enough about the show. This is about the game. I gave it an A+ in 2018. Is it still an A+ game today?

Why yes. Yes it is.

It really does have one of the best narratives in gaming. The story made me want to keep pushing forward. It was hard to turn off the system at night when it was time to go to bed. I wanted to keep playing! As good as the story is, the game wouldn't be any good if it was not fun to play. I can safely say that this game is indeed very fun. The combat is good with its mix of action and stealth mechanics. And there's just something super satisfying about scrounging around and finding items you can use to craft things.

The graphics are beautiful. The music is terrific. The voice acting is as good as it gets. When critics shower praise on The Last of Us, it is not because they are just jumping on the bandwagon. It truly is a great game. I'm not going to go so far as to say it's the best game of all time, or anything like that. But it's definitely somewhere in my top 40 or 50. I've played a lot of games in my life, so that is pretty high praise.

Should you play The Last of Us? Of course you should. I don't know what you are doing reading this if you have never played it. If you haven't - what are you waiting for? Get out and play it now. If you have played it before, hopefully you liked it as much as I did. Whether you did or not, you can't deny its importance and the impact it has had on storytelling in video games for the last 10 years or so. Definitely an all-time classic game. It was an A+ when I first played it back in 2013, it was an A+ when I reviewed it in 2018, and it is an A+ here in in 2025.



THE GRADE:
A+



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Thursday, April 3, 2025

Video Game Review #569: Earthworm Jim 2


Earthworm Jim 2
Genesis and Super Nintendo


Nostalgia Factor:

I remember renting the Genesis version of this game when I was a kid. I don't remember much about the game. I remember a level where you are underground and you have to shoot the dirt to carve out tunnels. I remember an isometric flying level. I remember the game being tough, but still being able to beat it in one weekend. Aside from that, I really didn't remember much about the game at all.

I finally decided, about 30 years after playing the game the first time, that I'd come back and play through it again. I love playing games that I haven't played in decades and reviewing them for my blog. In fact, I enjoyed my time with the game so much that I immediately turned around and played the Super Nintendo version as well.

Since the versions are so similar, I decided to do a dual review where I review them both as one game. It doesn't make sense to review them separately when they are essentially the exact same game. 

Now that I've got that out of the way, let's dive into my review.




Story:

Nothing new to see here. You are Jim. You must rescue the Princess from Psy-Crow. Pretty much the same as the last game.

While the story of the game may not be very interesting, the game itself is injected with a lot of humor. Evil goldfish, grannies falling from the sky, alien ships abducting cows. The usual Earthworm Jim wackiness. I especially like the ending where (spoiler alert) all the characters turn out to be just cows in disguise.




Gameplay:

This game is an interesting mix of platform stages that are faithful to the original Earthworm Jim, and brand new stages filled with different forms of gameplay. Examples of these unique stages include: a level where you control a salamander that seems to be floating through an intestinal tract, an isometric flying shooter stage, and a series of stages where you have to rescue dogs by bouncing them off a trampoline (or in the case of this game: a giant marshmallow) as they are thrown from a window.

The variety in the stages keeps this game fresh. It felt like I was having more fun with this game than I did with the original Earthworm Jim. I reviewed the Sega CD version of that game, and I gave it a B-. While this game's final score may not reflect a huge improvement over the original, it still just felt organically a lot more fun as I was playing through it.

When I played through this game the first time, it was for the Genesis. I used save states and was very cautious making my way through the game. Part of it may have been the save states, but I found the game to be a lot easier than my memory served. That's part of why I played through it again on the Super Nintendo. I wanted to play it without save states and see how far I made it. Turns out, I absolutely cruised my way through the game.

Once you get the hang of this game, it really is not that difficult. The 2D shooter stages are fine, as long as you are taking your time and firing your weapon ahead of you. This game is so generous with its ammunition and health items, it makes things much more manageable for the player. One particular weapon I liked was the homing missile. This weapon takes down those annoying, hard to hit enemies in one shot. 

By far the hardest parts of the game are the marshmallow bouncing levels. When Jim is running, he holds the marshmallow out in front of him. When he stops, he tucks it in close to his body. This led to all kinds of problems for me. I'd run to go get a dog, and when I'd get under it I'd stop. Jim would reposition the marshmallow and I'd inexplicably miss what should have been an easy bounce. I splatted so many innocent doggies on this stage. Thankfully, the game is pretty good at saving your progress. If you die on phase 3, you don't have to go back and start from phase 1 again when you die. You pick up right where you left off. 

I also found the final stage to be quite difficult. It is a foot race through an obstacle course against Psy-Crow. Trial and error is the name of the game. You have to run this course (and die) a large number of times before you are able to memorize it and make your way through. Easy with save states. But when you have a finite number of lives and continues, it really starts to stress you out after a while. I guess it is a testament to how good of a gamer I was when I was a kid, that I was able to beat this in one weekend with no save states.

Are there any difference in gameplay between the two versions of this game? No. It's legitimately the exact same game. The only area where I noticed any real difference is in the graphics, which I guess I'll get to next.




Graphics:

This game looks terrific. It is like a Saturday morning cartoon come to life. The backgrounds are colorful and creative. Jim and the game's characters are brilliantly designed. There is humor and a ton of fun little jokes injected everywhere you look.

I think Earthworm Jim 2 looks slightly better on the Genesis. It seems sharper and more focused, whereas the SNES version has a little less definition in its characters. SNES games often have a cropped display as well in comparison to the full screen of the Genesis. I didn't pay attention to see if it happened with this game too. But I think it did.

 


Sound:

There are no real standout tracks, but the game's soundtrack is upbeat and quirky. It fits the tone of the game perfectly. My favorite was probably the Moonlight Sonata based theme from the salamander stage. I remember thinking "hey this is pretty cool" when the music started up.

Sound effects are good too. But again, nothing really stands out. Earthworm Jim doesn't seem to have a "signature sound" like a Sonic or Mario game (or even smaller titles like Banjo-Kazooie and Crash Bandicoot). Maybe the crack of the whip, or the sound of your default gun firing? You could blindfold me and start playing the game, and it would take me a while to figure out what it was that you were playing. 




Overall:

I came into this game with relatively low expectations, yet I came away from it impressed. It is fun from start to finish. It is not overly difficult. It offers a lot of variety in the level design. There's humor. There's good music. There's good graphics. What's not to like? In fact, I like it more than the original Earthworm Jim, and I really enjoyed that game, too.

I'm sure if you wanted to nitpick you could really pick the game apart. Some of the levels have very obscure or unclear objectives. For example, it took me forever before I figured out you could pick up the hamster balls in the office stage. Likewise at the end of this stage, where you have to move a cabinet over in order to knock over a door that has legs and can run. It's freaking weird. I also think there are too many "bounce the puppies off the marshmallow" stages. They get old, fast. I'm surprised I did not remember these stages from my first time with the game. I feel like I'll walk away from this game remembering them forever.

Small annoyances aside, I had a fun time with this. You can tell I had a fun time because I went out and played the SNES version of the game as soon as I was done with the Genesis version. That's not something I normally do. I would have been totally content to review this as a Genesis game. But now I am reviewing it as both.

Should you play Earthworm Jim 2? If you liked the first game: definitely. If you have never played an Earthworm Jim game, I think you could jump into this one and have no problems with it at all. If for whatever reason you are reading this and you don't care about 2D platformers, you can probably safely skip this one. But I'd recommend giving it a try. 


THE GRADE:
B


For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

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Tuesday, April 1, 2025

2025 Things: March





3.1: Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (2.27.25 ep). Listened to 1 episode of the 7th Rule (ep 267). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.06). Watched movie: Dreamscape. Watched 1 episode of Knuckles (1.03).

3.2: Watched 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (ep 45). Listened to 1 episode of Retrograde (Yoshi NES). Listened to 1 episode of Retroblast (Resident Evil). Listened to 1 episode of the FF Dynasty (9.04). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (2.28.25 ep). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (The Green Mile Pt. 1). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.01). Watched 1 episode of Knuckles (1.04).

3.3: Watched 1 episode of Killing Eve (4.06). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 201). Watched 2 episode of Knuckles (1.05 and 1.06). Finished video game: Splatterhouse. Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Exam). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: House of the Dragon (1.04 recap). Listened to 1 episode of the FF Dynasty (9.05).

3.4: Watched 2 episodes of Killing Eve (4.07 and 4.08). Watched 1 episode of Batman: The Animated Series (Baby-Doll). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.07). Listened to 1 episode of the Cartridge Club (CC Portable #12). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.02).

3.5: Watched movie: Pet Sematary (1989). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.03). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (The Green Mile Pt. 2). 

3.6: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.08). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: House of the Dragon (Rob and Josh Discuss 1.04). Watched 1 episode of Daredevil: Born Again (1.01)

3.7: Watched 1 episode of Daredevil: Born Again (1.02). Listened to 1 episode of the FF Dynasty (9.06). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.04). Watched 1 episode of American Conspiracy: The Octopus Murders (1.01). Listened to 1 episode of Retroblast (Resident Evil REmake). 

3.8: Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.05).

3.9: Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 11). Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 51). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (CC#57). Listened to 1 episode of the Retrograde (Rival Turf!). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro (Editors Corner 16). Watched movie: X2. Finished video game: Virtua Fighter (32X). 

3.10: Watched 1 episode of Rings of Power (1.04). Listened to 2 episodes of Collateral Cinema (Holiday Special: Silent Night, Deadly Night and Sonic 3). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (3.6.25 ep). Listened to 1 episode of the 7th Rule (ep 269). Listened to 1 episode of the Retrograde (Jurassic Park SNES). Listened to 1 episode of the Stephen Kingcast (ep 229). Watched 1 episode of American Conspiracy: The Octopus Murders (1.02).

3.11: Watched 2 episodes of Australian Survivor (12.09 and 12.10). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (Frank Darabont's The Green Mile). Watched 1 episode of Daredevil: Born Again (1.03).

3.12: Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.06). Listened to 1 episode of the FF Dynasty (9.07). Listened to 1 episode of The Retroblast (Donkey Kong Country). Finished video game: The Amazing Spider-Man (Game Boy). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.11).

3.13: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.12). Listened to 1 episode of the FF Dynasty (9.08).

3.14: Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Used Cars). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.07). Listened to 2 episodes of the Stephen Kingcast (eps 71 and 72). Listened to 1 episode of the FF Dynasty (9.11). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (Ryan Rebalkin Interview).

3.15: Finished video game: Super Mario Galaxy 2. Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.08). Watched 1 episode of American Conspiracy: The Octopus Murders (1.03). Listened to 1 episode of the Retrograde (Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue). Watched movie: Super Mario Bros.

3.16: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.13). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: House of the Dragon (1.05 recap). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro (Mainline Reboot ep 2). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (Mulholland Drive). Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Perfect Blue).

3.17: Watched 1 episode of The Leftovers (1.01). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (3.13.25 ep). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (CC Portable #13). Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (4.48). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 12). Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 52). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries (Highway Homicide). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: House of the Dragon (Rob and Josh Discuss 1.05). Listened to 1 episode of the 7th Rule (ep 270). 

3.18: Finished video game: The Last of Us Remastered. Listened to 1 episode of the FF Dynasty (9.09). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.09). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.14). Watched 1 episode of American Conspiracy: The Octopus Murders (1.04). Watched 1 episode of The Leftovers (1.02).

3.19: Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (CC#58). Watched movie: Batman & Robin. Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.15). Watched 1 episode of The Leftovers (1.03). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (Nightmare on Elm Street Franchise Pt 1). Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (Micro 024).

3.20: Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.10). Watched 2 episodes of The Leftovers (1.04 and 1.05).

3.21: Watched 1 episode of The Leftovers (1.06). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (34.11). Listened to 1 episode of the FF Dynasty (9.10). Watched 1 episode of Daredevil: Born Again (1.04).

3.22: Listened to 1 episode of The Cabin (Gilbert Brown: Mama's Boy). Watched 1 episode of The Leftovers (1.07). Watched movie: The Green Mile. Listened to 1 episode of Retroblast (Twisted Metal 2). Finished video game: Earthworm Jim 2 (Genesis).

3.23: Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks: Spider-Man. Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (3.20.25 ep). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (Desperation Pt. 1). Watched movie: Chaos: The Manson Murders. Listened to 1 episode of the FF Dynasty (9.12). 

3.24: Listened to 1 episode of the Stephen Kingcast (ep 74). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs (ep 13). Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (4.50). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: House of the Dragon (1.06 recap). Watched 1 episode of The Leftovers (1.08).

3.25: Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 202). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.16). Watched 1 episode of The Walking Dead: Dead City (1.01). Listened to 1 episode of the Retrograde (TMNT: Shredder's Revenge). Watched 1 episode of Daredevil: Born Again (1.05).

3.26: Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.17). Watched 1 episode of Daredevil: Born Again (1.06). Watched 1 episode of The Leftovers (1.09).

3.27: Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Gaming (ep 50 pt 2). Watched 1 episode of Australian Survivor (12.18). Finished video game: Loaded. Watched movie: Skinamarink.

3.28: Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.13). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (Desperation Pt 2). Watched 2 episodes of The Challenge (34.12 and 34.13). Watched 1 episode of The Leftovers (1.10). Watched movie: The Dark Tower. Finished video game: Earthworm Jim 2 (SNES).

3.29: Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (3.27.25 ep). Watched 2 episodes of The Challenge (34.14 and 34.15). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (King's Greatest and Scariest Book Covers). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 203). Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts (Micro #27). Watched 1 episode of Starting Five (1.01). Watched 1 episode of The Walking Dead: Dead City (1.02). 

3.30: Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack (ep 204). Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Frequency). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde (DK Jr. NES Review). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro (Editors Corner 17). Listened to 1 episode of The FF Dynasty (9.14). Listened to 1 episode of Post Show Recaps: House of the Dragon (Rob and Josh Discuss 1.06). Listened to 1 episode of Worth it or Worthless (ep 0). Watched 1 episode of Batman: The Animated Series (The Lion and the Unicorn). Watched 2 episodes of Rings of Power (1.05 and 1.06) 

3.31: Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club (Mick Garris' Desperation Miniseries). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (CC#138). Watched 1 episode of Yellowjackets (2.01). Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 53). 



15 episodes of The Challenge watched
13 episodes of Australian Survivor watched
11 episodes of the FF Dynasty played
10 episodes of The Leftovers watched
9 movies watched
8 video games completed
7 episodes of The Losers Club played
6 episodes of Fantasy Football Happy Hour played
6 episodes of The Retrograde played
6 episodes of Daredevil: Born Again watched
6 episodes of Post Show Recaps: House of the Dragon played



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Saturday, March 29, 2025

Video Game Review #568: Loaded

Loaded
Sega Saturn


Nostalgia Factor:

Nobody talks about Loaded these days, but I remember this game being a big deal when it was first released. It was all over the gaming magazines. One video game magazine in particular (the name of it eludes me) had an article on the game that must have been about 15 or 20 pages long. I remember reading every single word of that mammoth article, and thinking to myself: wow! I have to play this game. The only problem was that it was a PlayStation game, and I only had a Saturn at the time.

A year or so later, a version of Loaded hit the Saturn. The Saturn was always late to the party. I went out and rented this game. I don't remember much about my time with it aside from the basics. It was a shooter. It was very gory and over the top. It was difficult. It had a heavy metal soundtrack. I had fun with it. That's really all I remembered about the game. In fact, the thing that stuck out to me the most was the song "RSVP". I think it was the first time I had ever heard that phrase before.

Now that I have a Retropie and I know how to emulate games, I've been taking this opportunity to revisit a bunch of childhood games that I haven't had the chance to play in 30 plus years. Loaded is one of those games. Time to give it a shot and see if it as fun as I remember.




Story:

This is one of those games where you have to own the instruction manual if you want to get anything out of the story. Nothing is explained in-game. There are cutscenes, yeah. But do they tell you what's going on? No. Instead, the game begins with a typical 90s CGI scene where it is just the characters walking around, shooting, and doing non-sequitur things while upbeat music plays. When the song ends, the title screen pops up. That's about all you get for an in-game story.

You can kind of figure out what is going on through context clues. You have a choice of six different characters, each one looking crazy AF. You've got a weird clown, a muscular man in a mask and a tutu, a Harley Quinn wannabe, etc. When you pick your character, you find yourself in a futuristic mental hospital or prison complex. As the game progresses, your character breaks out and boards a starship which takes him to another world. This is never explained in-game, but your character is in pursuit of "FUB" - a villainous megalomaniac who is responsible for you being locked up. Once you find him and get your revenge, the game ends.

I probably don't have all the details 100% correct. I am only going off what the game tells me. I'm sure if you read the manual or look at the Wikipedia page for this game, it will give you a better plot summary. But like I've said many times throughout the history of this blog: I don't do my research. I review games based on what the game tells me. Which, in the case of Loaded, is not much.




Gameplay:

Chaos reigns supreme in this game. It's a shooter that takes place from the overhead perspective. Everywhere you look, there are enemies. Stages that take place indoors are much more manageable than the outdoor stages. In the indoor stages, enemies don't respawn. You can slowly and methodically clear your way through these levels. That's really the way to go when you are playing this game. If you just rush into a room full of enemies with guns blazing, you are going to find yourself dead, fast. In outdoor stages (and even some underground ones), you are constantly being bum rushed by creatures like wolves and spiders. They seem to spawn endlessly. I found that the slow and methodical approach doesn't work here. Best bet is just running through as quick as you can, occasionally taking the time to finish off any enemies that are following you.

The game starts with a choice of six characters. They all have different stats. I remember this game being difficult when I was a kid, so I made sure to pick someone with good defensive numbers. I ended up picking the rabid clown. Other characters are faster, but have a weaker defense. Other characters have stronger weapons, but less mobility. It's all a trade off. I picked the character I thought would work best for me and I rolled with it.

When the game starts, you have two basic weapons: your default weapon and a screen-clearing special weapon. As you make your way through the game, you will find power upgrades that make your default weapon rangier and more powerful. If you die, your weapon goes back to its weakest level. And you'll probably be dying a lot in this game. Other item pick ups include ammo, special bombs, health upgrades, and extra lives. I've heard this game compared to Gauntlet in the past. While I have played Gauntlet, it was a looooong time ago (I'm talking 1980s). I can't really confirm if these comparisons are accurate or not.

Most stages consists of a simple goal: find the level exit. Other stages have you collecting hidden items scattered throughout the level (like gas containers to fuel your ship) and then finding the level exit. Some stages are super long. Others can be beaten in minutes. There are 15 stages in total. The maps are pretty big. I always took my time to fully explore them. Well, not always. I tended to rush through the levels with the endlessly spawning enemies. They are super annoying, and honestly the worst thing about this entire game.

This game can be beaten in a day or two. It is difficult and you die a lot, but luckily the game is fairly generous with its health items and its extra lives. You also get five continues. So regardless of your skill level, you should be able to beat the game.... given you've picked the right character. After I beat the game with the clown, I came back and gave the tutu guy a try. Let's just say it didn't go well. He has a flamethrower as his default weapon, and the range on that thing is terrible. I died and had to use a continue on the first level with this guy, when I didn't even die at all when using the clown. So finding a character that works for you is definitely key here.

One comparison I have to make is to Doom. This game almost feels like a Doom title, but from an overhead perspective instead of first person. The levels are maze-like, you have to find red, blue, green, and yellow key cards to unlock new areas, the action is chaotic, the heavy metal music is always booming, and there are enemies everywhere. My main criticisms are: the repetitive nature of the game, the levels with constantly spawning enemies, and the fact that you can't really see too far ahead of you when you are walking around. Oftentimes enemies pop up and deal damage to you before you can even react to them. You can zoom out a little bit, but that doesn't do much in terms of visibility. The only thing that helps is constantly firing your weapons ahead of you when you walk. But even that strategy has its setbacks, as your ammo supply in this game is finite.




Graphics:

This game may not look like much by today's standards, but back in 1996 it looked fantastic. The thing that stood out to me the most was the lighting effects. Dark hallways will light up green when you fire a green weapon. Explosions cast light on the environment. Enemies explode in chunks of gore, and their remains stay on the ground for you to walk over. You can even destroy most things in the enviroment.

The characters don't look like much. The stages often look same-ish. There are pixels and jagged edges everywhere you look. Everything looks kind of dirty and sloppily designed. But in a way it adds to the "grungey" feel of the game.

Maybe it is not the most pretty game of all time, but at no point did I feel like my enjoyment was hindered by the game's graphical fidelity.




Sound:

The music is one of the highlights of this game. Each stage has a techno-futuristic track attached to it. Most of these songs sound like something you'd hear in a Wipeout game. Other stages have more of a fast paced, metal soundtrack, like a Doom game. Other stages have actual songs with lyrics in them. My personal favorite is still the RSVP song. Crazy that this is the thing I remembered the most about the game after 30 years had passed.

The sound effects are good, too, but they don't really stand out much. The music steals the show here.

Here is a short 3-song playlist of some of my favorite tracks from the game:




Overall:

This is a tough one for me. I liked the game. I had fun with it. I definitely consider it to be an integral part of gaming history. But it does have its flaws. And can I recommend it to others? I don't know. I feel as if people that have no history with the game won't be able to appreciate it like I do. This game is nearly a perfect encapsulation of "you had to be there."

It's definitely an above average game. It has a lot going for it. So I can't in good conscience give it anything in the C range. But at the same time, I can't see myself giving it anything much higher than that. A score of B- will have to suffice.

Hopefully another 30 years doesn't pass before I decide to revisit its sequel, Re-Loaded. I have a story to tell about that one. Until next time!


THE GRADE:
B-


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Sunday, March 23, 2025

Video Game Review #567: Super Mario Galaxy 2

Super Mario Galaxy 2
Nintendo Wii


Nostalgia Factor:

I played through the original Super Mario Galaxy about 8 months ago. I really enjoyed my time with that game, and I knew I was going to have to play its sequel at some point in the near future. Now, I have played through both of these games before, but that was back in the year 2011. So it's been a hot minute.

I didn't remember much about Mario Galaxy 2 coming into it. 14 years is a long gap between playthroughs. My only memories of the game were vague. I remember liking it. I remember it being similar to the first Mario Galaxy. But that's about it.

Most critics seem to think that the second game is better, but I have no recollection of feeling the same way. Time to see if I agree. Let's dive in!




Story:

I don't remember much at all about this game's story, and I just finished playing it a few days ago. Something to do with Bowser capturing the Princess again, and Mario has to rescue her. Yada yada. The first Galaxy game definitely had a more interesting story. But you know what? That's totally okay. Stories don't really matter in Mario games, unless you are playing the RPGs. No one remembers anything about the story in Mario 3, and it is considered one of the best Mario games ever made. The same applies to this game.




Gameplay:

Like I said, it's been 8 months since I've played the original Mario Galaxy. I am probably remembering things incorrectly, but I don't think this game is much different from the original? Maybe if I had played them back to back, I would be able to spot more clear differences. But this seems like a lot more of the same to me, which is a good thing. I really liked the first game and I gave it an A when I reviewed it.

The control scheme is the same. The whole "planet based" gameplay is the same. The object of the game (collecting power stars and unlocking new levels) is pretty much the same. But there are some major differences.

The obvious difference is in the game's hub world. There is not much of a hub world here. In the first Galaxy, the hub world was like Mario 64, where you would walk around and try to uncover the next level set. In this game, you go back to a giant Mario-head starship when you collect a power star, but you could completely ignore it and not explore anything and you'd be completely fine. In this game, stage selection takes place on a "path" similar to the map in Mario 3. That's not entirely accurate a representation, but I am not quite sure how else to describe it. You have six different galaxies. Each one is filled with different planets (which represent the game's stages). Each planet only has 1 or 2 hidden power stars, as opposed to the last game where they had like 5 or 6. So you are getting to explore a LOT more planets and stages in this game. 

You need to collect a certain amount of power stars before you can unlock the next part of the galaxy map and move onto the next collection of planets. At the end of each galaxy is a Bowser stage that ends in a boss battle. Defeat Bowser, and you move onto the next galaxy. Like I said, there are six galaxies in total. Beating the game unlocks an optional seventh galaxy filled with extra tough stages.

As you progress throughout the game, you'll collect comet tokens hidden throughout the worlds. You don't really know what they do at first, but when you get deeper into the game, you'll notice that they unlock hidden power stars in previous stages. So this incentives returning to old stages you've already mastered in order to explore them one last time for a bonus star. Most of these comet star stages involve tasks you've already completed - but with extra challenges attached to them. These challenges include a time limit, hidden purple coins to collect, and beating the stage without getting hit.

Another major change in this game is the addition of Yoshi. Using Yoshi, you must use his tongue to eat things. He also floats in the air for a second or two when you hold down the jump button. The game introduces a ton of new Mario outfits, too. It seems like every other planet, they are throwing something new at you that you haven't seen before. Like I said, the core gameplay and the whole purpose of the game hasn't changed much. There's just more this time around. More worlds, more stars, more outfits, more secrets. Plus the ability to ride Yoshi or play as Luigi.

I also feel as if the game is a bit tougher than the original. I was rarely challenged in the original Galaxy game. It seemed like each power star only took me a couple minutes to collect, and I rarely if ever would lose a life. In this game, I completely ran out of lives several times. Some stages took me 5, 10, 15 attempts before I could pass it. While I still would not say this is a hard game, it is definitely more challenging than the original.




Graphics:

This is a bright, colorful, and fun-looking game. It definitely encompasses everything you'd look for in a Mario game. I like the stage variety, and how many throwbacks there are to old Mario games. The Mario 64-inspired stage in particular was a real treat to play through. Does the game look better than the original Galaxy? Uhhhhh, maybe? Like I said, I played the old game eight months ago. To me, it looks pretty much the same. But maybe if I were to compare them side by side, I would find that this game looks better. I'm too lazy to do that, though. Some reviewer I am.




Sound:

The game sounds great. Not only is the original music awesome, but all the returning musical numbers sound better than ever. During the Bowser stages they use a remixed version of the Bowser stages from Mario 64, and it sounds terrific. Really hit me in the feels. Of course, the classic underground Mario theme returns, as does stage music from Mario 64. I also really like the "introduction" music from each stage, where it shows you where the power star is hidden. And I also like the music when you collect a star. All around, the game sounds great. 

If I had to make one complaint, it would be regarding all the little noises Mario makes. "Wah, hoo, wah!" constantly. I didn't even notice it at first, because it is so burned into my brain. But my wife was in the room with me while I was playing this, and she pointed out how annoying it was. I couldn't unhear it after she pointed it out.




Overall:

This is a great game. I feel the same way about it that I do the original Mario Galaxy. Which game is better? I suppose it's all a matter of preference. I know the popular sentiment is that this game is much better, but I had an equally good time with both games. I think I might have to give the slight edge to the original Galaxy, but that might only be because I played it first. If I had played this one first, my opinion might be the complete opposite.

Regardless, this is a terrific game. If you have any affinity towards Mario or even platform games in general, this is something that you need to play, stat. It is almost as good as you can get. Almost.



THE GRADE:
A


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Tuesday, March 18, 2025

VHS Tape #14: Mixed, Jumbled, Confused, Shaken It's a Record Tape!




I don't know what I was thinking when I came up with that title. I must really be bored, I watched this whole tape in 2 days.

(0:00:00)

Home Delivery. A burned and deformed young black girl has a makeover for her 13th birthday and meets her grandma who has now decided to be a part of her life

COPS
 - Mexican guy enters a woman's house and tries to steal the TV. He lies and says that he knows her father and has been there a hundred thousand times before. He claims he was just moving the TV to the other room.

Mad TV
 - Crazy redhead woman comes to a homeless shelter to entertain with improv comedy. She fails and makes a giant fool of herself, especially when she destroys the table full of food.

Around the Horn. This is the very end of an episode. Michael Smith talks about NBA players who are donating money for every point they score to tsunami victims.

PTI. The guys talk about Ashlee Simpson singing horribly at halftime of some game and getting booed. She is dissed and called a fraud.

MAD TV
 - Oprah Winfrey skit. The crazy blonde girl with gloves is interviewed and embarrasses her family. She also has a stroke on air.
 - Short skit with Nicole Richie and Saddam Hussein hanging out in a bunker

(23:16)

Crank Yankers
 - Radio station calls a 7-11 and asks the woman to yell out that she peed in the Slurpee machine to win a prize
 - Black guy calls a flower shop and asks the lady who answers to put a long and sexually inappropriate message on the card. She gets offended and fights with the guy before hanging up.
 - Man calls adult video store to ask about penis pumps. The mom keeps picking up the phone and the caller asks the store employee to play along and pretend he's ordering a pizza
 - Denis Leary calls someone about a rampaging monkey that's attacking him

Jay Leno clip where Harland Williams talks to an Asian family and follows them around for the day. The tape gets shitty about halfway through this but it only lasts for this little segment.

Crank Yankers
 - Special Ed calls a computer store and keeps yelling I got mail!!! Yay!!!

Hey Spring of Trivia
 - Basketball was once played with 50 players on each team
 - Japanese samurai stuffs his whole fist into his mouth

Hilton Griswold clip. Hilton and three other guys are up on a stage singing.

Hey Spring of Trivia (cont)
 - When a pill bug hits a wall it will always turn right and then left
 - In Utah, a tied election is decided by the roll of a dice
 - Natto thread can be extended 38 feet

(1:02:26) 

MXC. Novelty vs Death. There is no Babaganoosh in this episode :(
 - Wet Spot
 - Circle Jerkers Ahoy
 - Elimination Idol
 - Wall Bangers

Reno 911. This is the episode where the cops try to win passes to an execution. They set up a point system for arrests where whoever has the highest score wins. There are clips from this episode on my second recorded VHS tape, but this is the full episode.

Surreal Life clip. Jane Wiedlin and Adrianne Curry go skinny dipping. Verne Troyer comes out and shows his ass and gets shitfaced. Chyna snores and is compared to Chewbacca from Star Wars. Verne comes out on his scooter naked late at night and pees in the corner. At the end, there is a preview of the season.

(1:48:58)

COPS
 - Little kid tells the police how a man put a knife to her throat and tried to take her as she was coming home from school. The police investigate but don't find anything.
 - Cops are called to a pizza shop where a black couple is complaining that they want their money back. The store owner doesn't want to give it back just because they changed their mind but he does anyway just to get them out of there. 

Randy Moss moons the crowd at Lambeau field after scoring a playoff touchdown. The Vikings complain about Joe Buck calling it a "disgusting act."

AFV
 - Old lady tricked by doorbell ringing and no one is outside
 - Kid dances around while playing a video game
 - Man is giddy after getting an Oakland Raiders helmet for a present
 - Clown frightens children
 - Kid cries and is ecstatic over a present he gets. Looks like Pokemon cards or something.
 - Sledding man wipes out
 - Two kids fall asleep on the toilet while pooping
 - Guinea pigs ears react to shouting
 - Someone on a sled goes under a parked car
 - Ugly bird pecks at a man
 - Dog licks window
 - Clips featuring elaborate ways to pour milk

MXC. Organ Donors vs Addicts. I have some of this episode on Tape #4 but this is the full thing. Also, this episode does not contain a Babaganoosh, like the last one on this tape. So sad!
 - Mud Butlers
 - Dash to Death

*in commercials there is a cartoon skit from Jay Leno mocking George W Bush*

MXC (cont)
 - Rotating Surfboard of Death

*Jay Leno's Headlines in the commercials*

MXC (cont)
 - Brass Balls
 - Pole Riders
 
(2:25:41)

The people of PTI talk about Richard Hatch's tax evasion 

Crank Yankers
 - Woman complains to a video store that there was a porn movie in the wrong case and she showed it to a group of kids
 - Guy calls a company looking for a job and burps into the phone
 - Old guy calls sex hotline and asks the woman to make animal noises and celebrity impressions
 - Black guy who is about to go to jail calls karate class and wants to learn how to defend himself

Mad TV
 - Lowered Expectations. Woman barks like a dog.
 - Man with eye patch and a group of ninjas try to take over Swan's nail salon but she escapes and kills him.
 
(2:47:08)

American Idol 4 episode 2. St Louis auditions
 - 3 blonde girls sing and Simon calls them fat
 - Seacrest throws out first pitch at a Cardinals game
 - Montage of terrible singers
 - Nikko Smith's audition
 - Bouncy black woman who is a music teacher sings and makes it through
 - Weird looking white chick sings horribly. Paula tells her she could be a rat voice in a cartoon.
 - Cruise ship singer with lots of supporters is denied. He is full of himself and doesn't take rejection well
 - Montage of people singing Rolling on the River
 - Aa'shia Jackson. Small black girl who sings in a chipmunk voice. They say yes and she storms out and acts all crazy for the camera
 - Funny looking black guy who says he sounds like Brian McKnight. He sucks... bad.
 - Carrie Underwood audition
 - Student of the black teacher (she went earlier) auditions and is denied. The woman freaks out and has a breakdown when she learns the news.
 - 2 geeky white guys, Dirk and Adam become good friends in the waiting room and both sing. They are horrible.

COPS
 - Drug dealer and prostitute arrested at Mardi Gras trying to make deals with two Navy guys
 
The movie "Se7en" is discussed on I Love the 90's

(3:34:14)

MXC. Malcontents vs Baked Goods
 - Bust A Nut
 - Bird Droppings
 - Irritable Bowl Syndrome
 - Log Drop. Paula Babaganoosh is the last contestant.

COPS
 - Black man is shot and put into the back of an ambulance. He calls it the amber lamps just like from the epic beard man clip.

Snoop Dogg interviewed on Jay Leno. This is just the tail end of the interview. Snoop talks about going back to Africa to discover himself and that's it.

Home Delivery. Young goth chick and her little baby son (who she also dresses up the same way) are made over.

Celebrity Justice. Richard Hatch's tax evasion is discussed.

(4:13:25) 

Conan O'Brien. Rick O'Cassick and Triumph present an award for song of the year

Jimmy Kimmel. Michael Jackson's bizarro #1 fan goes out onto the streets of NY and talks to people. He camps out in front of a CD store so he can be the first to get his box set. He also carries a little Michael Jackson puppet around with him.

 COPS
 - Older white man drives through spike strips while trying to run from the cops. He stops shortly after and is arrested. He is extremely belligerent and cusses out the cops.
 - Drug stings where dealers are arrested. One of the guys tries to swallow all his drugs. Another one tries to run but doesn't get very far.

Discovery Health special about a woman with a 160 pound tumor, and the doctors who are planning to remove it.

*in the commercials it cuts to the Dave Chappelle show. This is a skit educating kids about VD, crabs, and herpes*

Discovery Health special (cont). The successful surgery is chronicled.

*Dave Chappelle Black Bush skit in commercials*

Conclusion of Discovery Health special. The woman returns home after surgery.

(5:18:00)

Crank Yankers
 - Man at a hotel is called and told that he was being charged for Siegfried and Roy tickets
 - Man calls to complain about a bathroom attendant who he saw eating his poop
 - Video game playing black guy calls about a job and the guy who answers says odd things and hits on him. He gets pissed and hangs up
 - Girl calls a chef for cooking advice and asks inappropriate sex questions instead
 - Teacher calls a museum to ask about a field trip and asks about inappropriate questions
 - Parent calls to complain saying that she found a ceramic wiener in with her daughter's things

Surreal Life. They visit a ranch and ride horses. Verne is unable to ride because of his size. Adrianne brands a calf. They camp out and Verne is afraid. At the end they all have a heart to heart around the campfire. 

Blue Collar TV. Redneck guys go to a Japanese restaurant named Benihana and learn how to cook hibachi.

Discovery Health special about fetus in fetu. In other words, a deformed baby that grows inside another baby. Gross! The family of the boy who had it pulled out of him is interviewed.


END OF TAPE





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