Dan Geeks Out: Video Game Review #434: The Witness

The Witness

PlayStation 4

Nostalgia Factor:

This is another game I've had in my collection for several years now, but never got around to playing. I really didn't know much of anything about this game coming into it, other than that it involved solving puzzles. I'm normally not a puzzle solving kind of guy, so my expectations coming in were a bit low.

The Witness got solid reviews, however, so maybe it would be good enough to change my mind? Let's find out!

Story:

Even after just finishing playing through this entire game from start to finish (and then some), I really can't tell you what it is about. Everything is very dream like. Nothing is explained. You just wake up in a weird underground tube, come out of it, and start solving puzzles. You encounter strange things in the environment, like people turned into stone, but the game never tells you what is going on. The game's environments are very disjointed. You find dense science logs every once in a while as you are playing, but they don't seem to be telling any kind of narrative story. Everything points towards this being some kind of dream.

Spoiler alert, but when you beat the game, your character gets into a glass elevator that flies around the island, kind of like what happens at the end of Willy Wonka. You can see all the puzzles you solved undoing themselves, and the island reverting back to the way it was when you first arrived. The glass tube takes you down into the weird tube that you started the game in, and the screen fades to black. Then the game asks you if you want to start a new game. So it is like a neverending loop. Huh.

Normally I don't like it in video games when there isn't a cohesive narrative, but The Witness gets away with it. It's all about the journey with this one.

Gameplay:

I've never played a game like The Witness before, and that is not necessarily a good thing. For those who don't know how this plays out, everything takes place from a first person perspective. Your character has to explore an island, looking to activate a number of mirrors that will shine upon the mountain's peak. To unlock doors and open new paths as you make your way across this island, you have to solve puzzles.

While exploration is an important aspect of The Witness, I'd say the real meat and potatoes of the game lies in said puzzles. The main purpose of these puzzles remains consistently the same throughout the entire game: you're essentially drawing a line from one point on the puzzle to the exit. Things start out very easy. Draw a line from point A to point B. Okay, anyone can do that. But just wait.

As you progress through the game, the puzzles quickly get very hard. Each puzzle follows a set of "rules." For example, if there are black and white tiles anywhere on the grid, your line has to separate them completely on the game board. If it doesn't, you fail the puzzle and have to start it over again. Other rules include: if you see a little black diamond on the board, your line has to pass over it. More rules: if you see a shape that looks like a Tetris piece on the board, your line has to form the shape of the piece before you can navigate it to the exit. Another rule: If there are golden sun icons on the board, your line has to separate them into groups of two. Another rule: if there are triangle icons on the board, your line has to touch the number of triangle icons located on that section of the grid. So if there are two triangles in a block on the grid, your line has to pass this block twice. If there's one, you have to pass it once. If you pass it twice, you fail.

While some of these rules seem easy at first, many puzzles combine different rules to make things very complicated. There are other twists thrown in, like "broken" spots on the grid you can't pass over. Sometimes there is a dual "beam" that mirrors your movements on the game board. So not only do you have to figure out the proper solution according to whatever the rules of the board are, you have to do it in a manner that you aren't blocking off your own path with the beam that is mirroring you.

This game and its twists are so hard to describe in words. I'm sure these last few paragraphs have looked like gibberish to anyone who hasn't played this game. And that's the game in a nutshell. It's strange, it's confusing, and it doesn't always seem to make sense.

I was able to activate two of the island's eleven mirrors before I got stuck. That's it. Two. The puzzles quickly became way too complex for me. I tried exploring the island to see if I could find any easier areas, but I kept repeatedly hitting a wall. Looking at these puzzles with their complex rules was like trying to read a foreign language. I just couldn't do it.

I guess I'm just way too stupid for this game.

I ended up using an online walkthrough with all the puzzle solutions printed out in order to beat the game. Since there is no fighting or combat in the game, almost everything is based on these puzzles. Just simply looking at the solutions took all of the fun away for me. But at the same time, I never would have been able to beat this on my own. So I did what I had to do.

I hate to say, though, that all the positive reviews I'd read were basically pieces of crap. This game is nowhere near as close to as good as it is made out to be. I was bored. I was made to feel like an idiot. I didn't have a good time. The Witness was not for me.

Graphics:

Graphically, this is a stunning game. I didn't expect it to look so gorgeous. The island is so colorful and amazing looking. The crystal clear water, the bamboo forests, the cherry blossom trees. Everything is cell-shaded in a way that is reminiscent of Zelda: Winda Waker. Like a cartoon come to life. I absolutely love cell shading and I wish more games did their graphics like this.

I might not have enjoyed the gameplay of The Witness, but I can't say it isn't a visually breathtaking game.

Sound:

There's not a lot of music to be heard in this game. The Witness seems focused on building an environment filled with ambient sound. And that's what you get here. There are some puzzles that focus on identifying sound pitches of chirping birds, but I could not figure these ones out to save my life. I had to use a guide for that whole section of the game.

There is some good music to be found if you try to complete Challenge mode. This mode is timed by a recording of Edvard Grieg's Hall of the Mountain King. If you can't complete a certain number of puzzles by the time the song ends, you fail and have to do it all over again. If you're familiar with this song, you should realize right away why they put it in such a stressful part of the game: it's a stress inducing song! They're toying with us!

But really, I love this song - and to hear it in a game like this was a real treat.

Overall:

As much as I admired the graphical and audio style of the game, I have to say that its gameplay was not for me. And that's all it really boils down to. I can't give this game a good grade because I didn't have fun playing it. At all. And I truly hate saying that. I wanted to like this game so bad!

The game made me feel like an idiot time and time again. I'm not smart enough for this game. I'm not patient enough for this game. I'm not going to say that this game sucks. Not at all. If you're into this kind of thing, you'll probably love this game. But let me say it for the dozenth time: it's just not for me.

I feel as if I can't give this game too low of a score, because there are a lot of redeeming things about it. And just because I didn't have fun, that doesn't mean I think it is a bad game. I'm sure this is a great game for people who are interested in the whole puzzle solving thing. Weirdos who like to do the New York Times crossword puzzle every day. That's who this game is for. People like that.

I also can't give this game too high of score, because I flat out didn't like it. I am not going to fail it, but I'm not giving it a high score either. Hmmm....

My final decision might anger some people, and that's okay. It's only my opinion, and that's all I have to go on. If you like this game, more power to you. But I didn't. And that's okay too.

THE GRADE:

40th Birthday Mop Up Duty Celebration Tour:

1982 reviews:

1983:

1984:

Frogger II: Threedeep!