Dan Geeks Out: Video Game Review #395: Jet Force Gemini

Jet Force Gemini

Nintendo 64

Nostalgia Factor:

Here comes my last review from 1999 as Mop Up Duty moves on. This is bound to be an... interesting one. I first became aware of Jet Force Gemini before it was released, due to various articles, previews, and news stories about it that were published in the video game magazines of the time. I always thought the game looked super cool, but by this time the PlayStation had become my go-to console, and the Dreamcast was on the horizon. As interesting as this game looked, I allowed it to slip though the cracks.

Fast forward to the year 2022. It's been 23 years since this game came out, and I am just now giving it a first look. How would it compare to the expectations I'd place on it as a 17-year old kid? Let's find out!

Story:

Jet Force Gemini is an elite team of space rangers that are called into action when an insectoid alien force invades the solar system, attacking and capturing humanity's furry companions - the Tribals. The team splits up and helps to free the Tribals before taking the battle to Mizar, leader of the aliens. Mizar retreats aboard an asteroid, which he sends on a collision course towards Earth.

The team boards the asteroid and defeats Mizar, only to find out that he is actually a Tribal in disguise who grew up to loathe his brother's power and influence. The team destroys the asteroid, saving Earth in the process. In celebration they dance to disco music as the end credits roll.

Gameplay:

If you come into this game without having read its instruction manual beforehand, you are going to have a rough time. What should have been a fairly straightforward and fun game is made overly complicated by bad gimmicks and even worse controls.

I'll get to the controls first, since those will be the most glaringly obvious flaw to anyone attempting to play this game. This is a behind the back shooter. You run through each level, shooting enemies in one of two different ways. You can just hit the shoot button as you move, and the game gives you a weak auto-aim feature that only works against enemies that are on your level of playing field. If you want to hit enemies with a higher degree of "accuracy" (you'll see why I put those quotation marks very shortly), you have to hit the shoulder button which puts you into aiming mode. This brings an aiming reticule up on the screen that you can move around to guide your shots. Think Resident Evil 4 when Leon pulls out his gun, and you move the laser sight around the screen to aim at your enemies. Simple enough, right?

No. No no no. Not simple at all. For some reason, the aiming reticule is drawn to the center of the screen, almost as if by some sort of magnetic force. So if there is an enemy on the bridge above you and you aim up to shoot it, you are fighting against the reticule wanting to drop back down to the center of where your character is looking. If you let go of the stick, the aiming reticule jerks back to its default location. Not only are you constantly fighting against this mysterious magnetic force, the aiming reticule jerks across the screen uncontrollably if you hit the analog stick too hard, and doesn't move at all if you are trying to be gentle. It is way too overly sensitive. If you've played the Jurassic Park arcade game (don't) you'll know immediately what I am talking about. It's almost impossible to hit your enemies with anything resembling pinpoint accuracy. You just kind of have to spray your shots in their general direction, moving the reticule back and forth in the hopes you'll get lucky. It is by far one of the worst control schemes in the history of video games - at least of the ones I have played.

As you make your way through the game you'll pick up additional weapons like grenades and rocket launchers, which help make things a little easier since you don't need to be as accurate with them. Shooting a rocket at a wall near an enemy will kill it if it gets caught in the blast radius.

The main goal of each stage is simply to make it to the end of the stage while collecting as many items and secret items as you can, while killing all your enemies in the process. You'll often find your way blocked by Life Force doors, which won't open until you've killed all the enemies in the area. Along the way you'll collect Tribals, which will automatically be transported to safety when you touch them. Some of these Tribals are inaccessible to your character, however. You have to come back later when you have the proper equipment to reach them. Think Metroidvania, but a lot more annoying.

Which leads me to my next gripe: this game's overly complicated character and level progression system. This is the main thing you need the manual for, because NOTHING is ever explained in-game. You start out as Juno, who I assumed was the only playable character in the game. As Juno, you make your way through the game's stages, rescuing other members of the Jet Force Gemini team, saving Tribals, and blasting away the bad guys.

When you get to Mizar's Palace, you're just kind of stuck. It doesn't seem like you can do anything to advance the plot. I must have walked around for 30 minutes, completely confused on what I was supposed to do next. Oh what's that? You can go into the pause menu and select from two other playable characters, each with their own set of levels you have to complete? You don't say!

Each of these characters' paths take them to Mizar's Palace. When all three of your characters arrive there, you fight Mizar in an epic winner take all boss battle. But that's not the end. This is where the game drops its most annoying bombshell on you: you have to collect every single Tribal in the game in addition to 12 hidden ship parts in order to chase Mizar and his rogue asteroid down. Since it was impossible to collect all these Tribals your first time through the game, you have to go back (now with jetpacks and the ability to toggle between characters at will) and collect them all.

Essentially you have to play the entire game over again.

Bruh.

I'll admit, I didn't like this game when I first started playing it. but it had started to grow on me after awhile - bad controls and all. This crap, however? Nope. Nope. Not doing it. Maybe if the game had given me an option to skip over the stages where I HAD collected all the Tribals, but even that wasn't something that was possible.

Going against all my completionist instincts, I turned the game off and watched the ending on YouTube. Play the whole game over again? Fuck you.

Graphics:

The graphics are one of the shining spots of this game. I love the aesthetic of outer space. The characters are quirky and well-designed. How could you not like being able to play as a gun-touting space dog? I love the colors. I love the design of each of the worlds. The cutscenes, although some of them tend to drag on too long, are cinematic and nice.

If I had to compare this game's look to that of any other N64 game, it would be Banjo-Kazooie, Star Fox 64, or Conker's Bad Fur Day. I know people like to bash N64 era graphics, but I think this game is super charming - in its visual style at least.

Sound:

This game has some really good music. The soundtrack is sweeping and heroic. The sound effects suit the action of the game perfectly. Some actual voice acting would have been nice, but all things considered I can't complain too much.

Overall:

This game is plagued by so many issues. The controls are public enemy number one. The confusing layout of the game is number two. The fact that you have to replay nearly the entire game again is number three. I haven't even mentioned the constant choppiness and slowdown yet. It's bad. Real bad.

Despite all these issues, I really wanted to like the game. It's got a cool aesthetic. The stages are well-designed; there's lots to see and do in each of them. The graphics are nice, as is the soundtrack. The characters and the worlds are bursting with life and personality. I like how you get so many different types of weapons as you make your way through the game.

This was almost a good game. Almost. Just a few development tweaks would have taken this from a below-average to above-average title for me. I don't think I've ever quite seen a game ride the line the way this one does.

When I first started this game, I hated it. I continued to hate it in the ensuing days, dreading it each time I'd turn it on, knowing that I was better off spending my limited time gaming elsewhere. It was about my fourth day of playing when things finally began to click for me as far as the game's design, controls, and what my ultimate goal was. For a few days, I actually began to like this.

And then I got to the part where you have to go back and do everything over again. At that point I threw my hands up and just said no. I could not possibly put myself through all that again, even if I was beginning to like the game a little bit. Life is too short to play through a game like this twice in rapid succession. As I said before, I watched the ending on YouTube and considered the game "beaten" and ready to review. Okay, maybe that's cheating a little bit. But I don't care. I just couldn't play this game one second longer.

I think this might be a first for my blog. Aside from games that can't be beaten, like arcade or Atari games where you are only going for a high score, I think I've beaten every single game I've reviewed to this point. That speaks volumes as to how bad Jet Force Gemini is, that I couldn't even bother to beat it. That my OCD ass just screw it and decided to give up on it.

That should tell you all you need to know. I am not going to fail this game, because I do think it has a lot going for it, in some kind of weird way. And there was that stretch of a couple of days where I actually liked this game for a little while. But let's be real. This is easily Rare's weakest N64 game. I can't in good conscience recommend this steaming turd to anyone else. It's just not a good game. And that's too bad, because it had a lot of potential. I certainly will not be playing this one ever again.

THE GRADE:

40th Birthday Mop Up Duty Celebration Tour:

1982 reviews:

1983:

1984:

Frogger II: Threedeep!