Dan Geeks Out: Video Game Review #405: Austin Powers Pinball

Austin Powers Pinball

PlayStation

Nostalgia Factor:

Sometimes I'll spot a cheap game on the shelf and just think "why not?" That's what happened with Austin Powers Pinball. I had never heard of the game. I'm not a big fan of pinball. Presumably I wouldn't like the game. But it was only 50 cents. If anything, it would be good for a few cheap laughs. I just had to buy it!

This was about six or seven years ago. That's how long the game sat on my shelf before I finally picked it up and played it. Why now, after all these years? Because this game came out in 2002. I'm up to 2002 in my Mop Up Duty tour. It was like it was meant to be.

Story:

Pinball games don't really have stories, but I have to give credit to the pinball machines featured in this game for how well they capture the spirit of the films. The visuals, the sound bites. The fact that you can do pinball "missions" inspired by the film, such as hitting the ball into different holes to ask a prisoner questions.

This is a pinball game, first and foremost. You don't have a quest to complete or an end objective other than getting the highest score.

Gameplay:

You are given a choice between two different pinball machines to play on. The first one is based on the original Austin Powers movie and the second one is based on its sequel: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

There are different modes you can pick from for each pinball table, such as novice, regular, arcade, and tournament mode. What do these different designations mean? I don't know. It's not explained at all in the game. I tried them all, but for the most part I just went ahead and picked regular for most attempts.

Have you ever played on a pinball table before? Good! I shouldn't have to explain too much how this game works. You use the flippers and you hit the ball around the table, looking to hit things and trigger different events and missions, which can help you earn bonus points and extra lives. If the ball gets by your flippers and goes off the bottom of the screen you lose a life. You start each stage with three or five lives depending on what mode you selected. Your goal is to have the highest score when you run out lives.

Simple, huh? Yes. And I don't mean that in a bad way. This game does a very adequate job of bringing the pinball experience to the home screen. I don't think I've ever played a game that has replicated the experience quite as well. The downside to this? Just like real pinball machines, it gets boring fast and has very limited replay appeal.

I've never been one to waste a lot of time or money on pinball machines when I'm at the arcade. And apparently I'm not one to waste a lot of time on them at home either. I think I played each pinball table in the game for about 10 or 15 minutes each before I was done with them. So that means this game offered me a whopping 30 minutes of gameplay before I got tired of it.

That is not good.

Graphics:

It looks like a pinball table. What else can I say? I guess a little more could have gone into this game's presentation. No cutscenes. Very drab and lifeless menu screens. I don't know what else to say.

This is not a visually exciting game, I guess I can say that.

Sound:

While this game does a nice job with its voice acting and its small music clips from the movie, it is lacking in one major department: there is no Soul Bossa Nova to be found here. That's right, the world famous Austin Powers theme song does not even make an appearance in the game. This is inexcusable. It would have fit in perfectly as background music with all the authentic pinball sounds these machines make.

I'm just going to go ahead and post this musical track below and you can listen to it while you read the rest of this review.

Overall:

This is an extraordinarily average game, which surprisingly exceeded my expectations of it. I thought this would be a horrible, cringe-worthy title that would make me roll my eyes every 20 seconds. It's not. Instead it is a perfectly playable port of two pinball machines you could find at any bowling alley or retro arcade.

If you're into pinball: cool. Go ahead and check this out. If you are like me and you're not into pinball, you aren't missing anything by not playing this. This game reminds me of every single reason I'm not a pinball fan to begin with. That main reason is bad luck. It happened to me FOUR STRAIGHT TIMES in this game where the ball dropped directly between my flippers without even giving me an opportunity to hit it. Four straight times. That's a microcosm of my pinball "career" right there. I have the worst luck when playing this game, and that's one of the reasons I think I don't like it. It doesn't matter how good you are or how careful you approach the game: you often don't have your fate in your own hands. Too much is up to random chance.

I don't know if I will ever be able to get past that.

THE GRADE:

D+

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