Dan Geeks Out: Video Game Review #344 and #345: Dragon's Lair

Dragon's Lair

Arcade and PSP

Nostalgia Factor:

Dragon’s Lair is a game that’s been on my radar for years and years now. I was aware of this game when I was a kid, seeing pictures of it in video game magazines. I always thought the game looked interesting to me, but by random chance NONE of the arcades where I spent time ever had this game. In fact, at 39 years of age I still have yet to see this arcade machine out in the wild. What better game to pick for my third and final 1983 game review?

But wait, a plot twist! I was having a really, really difficult time getting into the arcade version of this game due to its steep difficulty, so someone suggested to me that I try the PSP version of the game as it is a lot easier and more user friendly. So here we have it: our third ever dual console review. The first time I did this was with Batman Returns for the Genesis and the Sega CD, and the second time was with Judge Dredd for the Genesis and the SNES. Dragon’s Lair for the arcade and the PSP now joins those illustrious ranks.

Story:

You play as Dirk, a valiant knight sent into a dark wizard’s castle to rescue Princess Daphne from an evil dragon. That’s really all you need to know.

Gameplay:

*sigh*

Coming into Dragon’s Lair, I knew that it was was entirely based around Quick Time Events, or QTEs as I will be referring to them for the rest of this review. I also knew coming in that the game was supposedly very difficult. Me, being the confident gamer that I am, thought that this game would be a piece of cake. People say that other games like Ninja Gaiden, Castlevania, and Contra are just SO HARD and all I can do is laugh because I can beat those games quite easily. None of those games I would consider “hard”. Dragon’s Lair? Bring it on.

Oh man, was I humbled quickly. The very first time I played this game, I didn’t even know what I was supposed to be doing and I just sat there in a dazed stupor as my character died over and over again. Game over. Insert credits. Uh, what? Was I supposed to be doing something? I thought this was a game based around QTEs. Where were the prompts?

I played this game a couple more times, each attempt just as unsuccessful as the first. But then something happened. When Dirk hopped up on that mechanical horse and started flying towards the fire, I hit the joystick to the left – the opposite direction of the fire. And Dirk responded, avoiding an obstacle for the first time ever. All right. So the game didn’t give you any prompts for the QTEs. You just have to figure them out yourself. I could handle that.

I must have played this game for at least an hour or two. I figured out what to do to clear *some* of the castle’s obstacles, but not all of them. The boating segment? I was a pro. The mechanical flying horse? Pro. Swinging across the ropes over the fire? Pro. Running down that rainbow road with the ball chasing after you? Pro. But I could not figure out how to make it through almost every other room in the game. I felt like I was making some decent progress “figuring out” Dragon’s Lair, but some of these obstacles I had tried literally every button combination known to man and I wasn’t even close to passing them. To make matters worse, you couldn’t just sit there and practice certain rooms repeatedly, which I would have liked to do. No. If you die, you get whisked off to another room altogether. And if you use up all five of your lives you have to go back to the beginning of the game and do it all over again.

I kept coming back to Dragon’s Lair a few nights in a row and poured several hours into the game, but at the end of the day I was no closer to beating the game than I was the first night I had started playing. I was ready to give up. This game was just too hard for me and was not worth the frustration. Plus, I was ready to move on and start playing some 1984 video games. But the completionist in me simply could not move on from Dragon’s Lair until I had beaten it. Fun fact: I haven’t posted a single video game review of a game I haven’t beaten (aside from games you can’t beat because you’re only playing for a high score, like Frogger, Satan’s Hollow, Tron, etc). My OCD simply demanded that I defeat Dragon’s Lair, no matter how long it took.

And then, like an angel from the sky, came Robb Alvey. The very same man I got my RetroPie from – the very same system I was playing Dragon’s Lair on. “Why don’t you try the PSP version? It’s much easier.”

Those were the best words I have ever heard in my life.

I fired up the PSP version of Dragon’s Lair. Not only did the game contain prompts for the QTEs, you could also set it to unlimited continues. In addition, this version of the game had an option to turn the difficulty down to easy.

I tried to play through the normal arcade version of the game, this time using the prompts. I didn’t want to take the coward’s way out by turning the difficulty down to easy. About 25 minutes later, I turned the difficulty down to easy. And by the end of the night, I had beaten Dragon’s Lair once and for all.

So about Dragon Lair’s gameplay. In the original arcade version, you have to watch closely for flashes of light that indicate which direction you are supposed to move the joystick. That’s all you get in regards to “prompts”. Not every stage has these flashes, and oftentimes the flashes are too quick to respond to even if you did see them properly. But the main problem is that these flashes are nonexistent in the most challenging areas of the game, meaning you have to resort to simple guesswork in order to survive. Not only do you have to resort to guesswork, if you aren’t precise with the timing of the direction that you press, you die. So even if I know I have to move left, if I don’t press left on the exact nanosecond window of opportunity I still lose a life. This resulted in me thinking that I was pressing the wrong button, so I’d try pressing right the next time. Or down, or up, or attack. Certain areas of the game I swear I had tried every button combination known to man, and I still couldn’t make it through.

Props to people who actually did beat this game in the arcade back in the day, because to me this game is about as impossible as you can get. Forget Contra, Ninja Gaiden, or any of those other so-called hard games. Dragon’s Lair may be the single most difficult game I have ever played.

So I had absolutely no shame in firing up the PSP version and turning it down to easy. It was either that or never beat this game. The choice was quite simple for me.

Graphics:

Clearly, this is the best looking game I’ve played on my “play three games you’ve never played from every year of your life” tour. I need to think of a better name for what I’m doing. Anyway, compare this game to Tron, Pitfall, or Kool-Aid Man and you’ll see exactly what I mean. This game is like a cartoon come to life. Gorgeous, hand drawn animations. Bright colors, creative environments. Dragon’s Lair is like NOTHING that was seen back in 1983. I was only one year old at the time, so I can’t speak from personal experience, but I am certain that this game was insanely popular, if only for its visuals. I can just picture hordes of kids crowded around this arcade unit, mouths agape at the majesty of the animation on the screen. This game looks like a Disney movie. In fact, I think its creator worked for Disney! What would you rather look at in a video game arcade, something that looks like this… or Pong? I know what I would have picked.

Sound:

This game sounds like a movie too. Fun music, magical sound effects, even some voice acting – which I’m sure was quite rare back in 1983. Was this the first ever game with voice acting? That would be quite interesting. The narrated intro to this game alone probably was enough to grab the attention of both children and their parents as they walked through the mall.

Overall:

I did not have a good time with Dragon's Lair. In fact, in terms of gameplay and overall playability, I might be able to say that in some ways I liked the Kool-Aid Man game better than this one. It's a shame, too, because there's so much that this game does right. I desperately wanted to love it. Fun story, great visuals, good voice acting and music, some creative area designs, its sense of humor. This is a game that was far, FAR ahead of its time.

But that gameplay though. It's so bad.

All you do is watch what is happening onscreen and *hope* that you're hitting the correct corresponding action at the exact time you need to hit it. But oh yeah the arcade version of the game doesn't tell you what you're supposed to do. So everything quickly devolves into quarter-munching guesswork for hours on end. I know there are people out there who have beaten this game in the arcades, and hats off to you. Beating this game is about as close to a video game impossibility for me as you can get.

The PSP version is slightly better, as you can edit the difficulty level, give yourself unlimited continues, and most importantly, view onscreen prompts that tell you which button to hit, and when.

So yeah. Unfortunately I did not like Dragon's Lair. Turns out I wasn't missing out on much as a kid growing up. I'm not going to give this game a failing grade, despite its poor gameplay, mainly because of its fantastic production value. And because even though I didn't like this game, I could still see myself coming back to it someday just because of how unique it is.

If you have never played Dragon's Lair and are curious about the game like I was, feel free to pass on this one. If you absolutely must play it, check it out on the PSP for its various quality of life improvements.

THE GRADE:

Arcade: D-

PSP: D+

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1982 Reviews:

1983:

Dragon's Lair (the review you're reading)