Video Game Review #272: Castlevania: The Adventure

Castlevania: The Adventure

Game Boy

Nostalgia Factor:

I recently started making my way through the Castlevania Anniversary Collection on the PS4. Last up was Simon’s Quest. Before taking the leap to Castlevania III (which I have never played and I am very excited to check out) I figured I’d quickly detour over to the Nintendo Game Boy and check out Castlevania: The Adventure first. I must point out that it bothers me that this is called Castlevania: The Adventure and not The Castlevania Adventure as it appears on the box. But whatever.

I’ve never heard a single thing about this game before, so I came into it completely blind and not knowing what to expect. How would I like it? Let’s find out.

 

Story: 

This game is a prequel to the original Castlevania. You play as Christopher Belmont, an ancestor of Simon. Your quest is to destroy Dracula.

Wow, what deep storytelling! The only point of interest is at the end of the game when a bat (clearly Dracula) escapes from the castle’s rubble and flies away. Obviously, he doesn’t die in this game as he appears later in the series. So is there really any point or relevance to this game’s story? Not particularly, but come on. This is an early Game Boy platformer. Its story is inconsequential.

Gameplay:

This is a very difficult game. I feel that this is one of the first things I have to point out. And this is coming from someone who doesn’t think Castlevania I or II for the NES are particularly challenging. This game is TOUGH!

There are only four stages in the whole game, but they are all very long. You get three lives. If you die and use up those three lives, you have to use a continue and start over at the beginning of the stage again. Let me stress: these stages are LONG. There is nothing more frustrating than making it ten-plus minutes into a stage and then dying and having to start the whole thing over again. Better get used to it, as this is going to happen to you a LOT. This game is a brutal challenge. There are spikes that kill you with one hit. Bouncing projectiles that hit you multiple times. Pits you must jump over that require precise, pixel-perfect accuracy lest you fall to instant death. You’re going to constantly be bombarded by enemy attacks that drain your health. You must nail precision jumps from rope to rope. Each stage has a fairly difficult boss battle at the end of it. It takes a while to get their patterns down. But guess what, you only have three lives - and chances are that you have used some of them up by the time you get to the boss. If you die, you go back to the beginning of the stage.

The most difficult stage for me is the one where the screen scrolls up and you have to avoid the spikes at the bottom of the stage. So much precision jumping is required, along with pattern memorization. It seems to go on forever. Then all of a sudden it starts scrolling left and you have to outrun a giant wall of spikes coming from the right, trying to crush you. If you make a single mistake, just one misstep and you’ll get killed immediately. This took me SO MANY tries. Luckily I was playing on the PS4 Anniversary Collection, which has save states. I was able to beat the game, but it took a lot of trial and error to do so. After beating the game I tried playing through it again without using save states and only made it to end of the third stage. I’m sure if I had kept playing and practicing I would have been able to make it to the end of the game, but do I look like I have time for that?

Last thing I must add is that this is a very basic version of Castlevania. You don’t get knives, axes, or holy water to throw at your enemies. Hearts actually restore your health rather than give you points or money. The biggest change is how your whip operates. You start out with the basic, weak whip and you earn upgrades as you play by whipping candles. The strongest form of the whip is the size of the long whip from the original Castlevania. This whip, however, fires projectiles from the tip of it. This is a cool addition to the game for one reason: if you get hit, your whip’s strength level goes back one. So if I have the fully charged whip and I get hit, I drop back to the regular long whip. Get hit again and I drop to the weak whip. The more you get hit, the weaker you become. This gives you further incentive to not get hit, as the fully charged whip makes most enemies super easy – particularly the bosses. That makes hanging onto them absolutely vital, and also what makes it such a kick in the balls when you get hit and have to watch your whip’s strength drop down a level.

 

Graphics:

There’s not much to look at here. This is a very basic looking black and white Game Boy game. It doesn’t look anywhere near as good as the original Castlevania or any of its NES sequels. It’s very bland looking. It also moves a bit slow and choppy at times. I wouldn’t say that the visuals make this game unplayable, however. It might look extremely primitive to us playing it here in the year 2021, but they get the job done well enough for you to be able to enjoy the game.

 

Sound:

I like the way this game sounds. It definitely has that classic Castlevania feel to its sound effects. The music, however, is terrific. All of the game’s tracks are originals, but you can clearly see where they are inspired by the first two NES Castlevania games. One of them sounds a lot of like my favorite Simon’s Quest theme, and I will admit that hearing it brought a big smile to my face. I never would have expected a Game Boy game to deliver such quality music, so color me super surprised.

 

Overall:

I had a pretty good time playing Castlevania: The Adventure. It’s challenging but fun at the same time. It keeps you coming back for more. You should definitely play this using save states. While I appreciate classic titles that offer a stiff challenge, this game can get downright brutal at times. You have to be perfect when you play this game, or you die. Unless you want to sit down with this game for 30 plus hours, becoming a master of it, I’d suggest just using save states. You’ll have this game beaten in one playing session.

I was able to master two of the game’s first four stages without save states. Didn’t die once on either of them. But the third stage with the screen scrolling is where the difficulty starts to become super ridiculous. And if you die and use up your lives, you have to go back to the beginning of the stage. Given how long these stages are, I can see this becoming a real problem for people.

Looking at reviews of this game online, it is often slammed as one of, if not THE worst Castlevania games out there. That kind of surprises me. I liked this game. If this is the worst the series has to offer, I must be in for a real treat when I get to the rest of them. I’ve heard nothing but good things about Castlevania III and IV. And Rondo of Blood. And Aria of Sorrow. And Bloodlines. And Symphony of the Night. And all the litany of handheld titles I haven't played yet. I wish you could see me greedily rubbing my hands with glee right now.

 

Overall:

B-

If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:

Castlevania

Castlevania II: Simon's Quest

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

Operation C

Kid Icarus

Video Game Review #271: Bonk's Adventure

Bonk's Adventure

TurboGrafx-16

Nostalgia Factor:

I grew up with three stepbrothers. They didn’t actually live in my family’s house, as their dad had full custody of them. Instead, they would visit and stay with my family every other weekend.

It was a random weekend in the early 90s. When my stepbrothers came over for their bi-weekly visit, they brought over a gift their father had given to them for Christmas: a new video game system called the TurboGrafx-16. I had never heard of the TurboGrafx-16 before, so my interest was immediately piqued. What was this mystery system? Why had I never heard of it before? What kind of games did it have? 

My stepbrothers didn’t have a huge variety of games to play, but they had a few. There were a couple Leisure Suit Larry titles. They had a slow moving top-down RPG whose name escapes me at the moment. And they had Bonk’s Adventure, which had come packaged with the system. THIS was the game I was most interested in.

Seeing as how my stepbrothers were mean to me, I never had much of a chance to toy around with the TurboGrafx-16. I remember one of them even telling me, when they left the house to go run an errand, that I had BETTER not touch their system while they were gone. So what did I do? I touched it. I played Bonk’s Adventure from beginning to end that afternoon, finishing it in one sitting.

When the dust settled, I remember thinking WOW that was a really great game. Unfortunately, this happened about 30 years ago and I have not been able to revisit Bonk since. Thanks to the power of emulation, I decided that Bonk’s Adventures would be one of the first titles I would revisit. Was it really a good game, or had I just been blown away by TurboGrafx fever when I was a kid?

Let’s find out.

 

Story:

Playing as a big-headed caveman named Bonk, you embark on a journey to defeat King Drool, an evil large dinosaur, and rescue a kidnapped princess. Sound familiar?

Honestly, there isn’t much to say about this game’s story.

 

Gameplay:

This is a very easy game to pick up and play. It’s a traditional left-to-right 2D platformer. You have a few different attacks, all involving your massive chrome dome. You can “bonk” your enemies with a lethal head butt attack, you can jump underneath them and smack them with your head on the way up, or you can flip upside down in mid-air and come crashing down on your enemies with your head.

You pick up power ups along the way. You have your standard health and point-accruing items, but there are a few special items as well. One of them makes you temporarily invincible, destroying every enemy you come into contact with. The other lets you freeze your enemies for a second if you bonk the ground with a diving head attack.

There is not much to say about the structure of the game. You make your way through each level, killing enemies, jumping over obstacles, and collecting items. There are some swimming sections, but those work pretty much exactly as you would expect them to. Every few stages you face off against a boss character whose weakness is highlighted by a glowing spot on their body.

The thing that makes Bonk different is its unique gameplay. I never knew there were so many ways to kill enemies with your head until I played this game. The setting is also cool. The bosses are creative and fun. On the surface, there isn’t much that this game does differently from your traditional 2D platformer. But it works.

Graphics:

I wouldn’t say this game looks as good as most Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo games out there, but it definitely looks better than your average NES title. Bonk is a charming character with some fun animations. There are a series of creative enemies and boss characters to fight. The scenery in this game looks really good. I like all the different color and lighting effects when underwater or In fiery areas. The whole prehistoric/caveman theme works really well. Bonk’s Adventure won’t blow you away with its visuals, but its graphics certainly do an admirable job and accomplish what they set out to do.

 

Sound:

The music of the game isn’t great. It’s not terrible or anything, but it is just very “meh.” Nothing memorable, nothing that’ll get stuck in your head. The sound effects are better with some of the dinks and doinks and smashing sounds you hear as you play. But honestly there isn’t much to hear here. Hear here? Does that make sense? I’m rolling with it.

 

Overall:

This is a fun game. Is it outstanding? Is it an unforgettable classic? Absolutely not. I had a fun time playing it when I was a kid. I had a good time playing it as an adult. But there’s nothing about the game that makes it stand out to me. I’ve played over 800 video games in my life. If you want to impress me, you’ve got to do something new and exciting. The whole “head attack” thing is original, I guess. But five minutes into the game it becomes second nature and it is just like you are playing any other generic platformer from the 90s. I don’t mean to do this game a disservice. It is better than your standard generic platformer… but not by much.

I definitely encourage anyone to play Bonk’s Adventure, if only to witness a small piece of video gaming history. You’ll play the game, you’ll probably like it. Will you come out of it thinking “wow this is amazing!?” Probably not. But will you enjoy it? I would like to think so. If you do decide to skip it, honestly you won't be missing much.

 

Final Score:

C+

If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:

Super Mario Bros.
Super Mario Bros. 2

Rastan

Kid Icarus

Alex Kidd in Miracle World

Video Game Review #270: Willow

Willow

Arcade

Nostalgia Factor:

Despite being a big fan of the movie Willow, I never knew that this game even existed. Which is a surprise, because in the 80s and 90s, I was a kid who spent a LOT of time hanging around at video game arcades. After accidentally stumbling upon some screenshots of the game online, my interest was immediately piqued. One look at Willow was all I needed to convince myself to give it a try.

Read on to see what I have to say about this game.

Story:

This game follows the plot of the movie relatively well. Not gonna lie, it has been a LONG time since I’ve seen Willow – at least 10 or 15 years. So while I am sure that certain liberties have been taken with the movie’s story, I didn’t notice them as I played.

I’m not going to sit here and recap the whole plot of the movie for you, but long story short – a baby that has been marked for death arrives at Willow’s village, and he sets out on a quest to protect the baby and take down the evil forces trying to kill it. How’s that for Cliff’s Notes?

 

Gameplay:

If I had to compare the gameplay of Willow to any game I have played in recent memory, it would be Ghosts ‘n Goblins. It’s a side-scroller. You start on the left side of the screen and make your way to the right. You throw projectiles (similar to the knife in Ghosts ‘n Goblins). The controls are similar. The platforming challenges are similar. The bosses are similar. The difficulty is similar. I think Willow is actually a better and much more polished game than Ghosts ‘n Goblins, however.

The thing that stood out to me the most upon first playing it was the level design. The stages are very creative, the enemies are well-placed. As I played through each stage I got the impression that I was really playing through this fantastic, mystical adventure. Despite the game’s difficulty, I really wanted to keep playing just to see what was around the corner for me.

Speaking of the game’s difficulty, you better prepare yourself for a stiff challenge. This is an arcade game, so it is designed to be more difficult than anything you’d play on a home console. Got to keep plugging those quarters in! You have a life bar, but if you aren’t careful, it will drain real quick. Each quarter gives you exactly one life. If you die, you are forced back to the nearest checkpoint. And trust me: you are going to die. A lot.

You make your way through six stages, fighting enemies, dodging the insane amount of projectiles thrown your way, collecting gold, and defeating bosses. Occasionally the game switches characters from Willow to Madmartigan (played in the movie by Val Kilmer). Madmartigan is a swordsman who slashes at enemies at close range rather than from afar like Willow. Each character has a charge attack where you hold down the attack button and release it to unleash an extra powerful attack.

What makes Willow unique is that there are RPG elements to be found here, which is pretty rare for an arcade game. You are going to want to kill as many enemies as you can and search each area thoroughly for gold, as gold is needed to upgrade your health and magic at shops located randomly throughout the game. The first time I tried playing through Willow, I made the mistake of not upgrading Willow well enough – particularly his weapon. I made it to a boss about midway through the game that I simply could NOT defeat because my attacks weren’t doing enough damage to it. I had to restart the game as a result.

I fared much better on my second attempt as I made it my mission to pump up the power of Willow and Madmartigan as much as I possible could. The game was still challenging as all hell, but I don’t see any way I could have possibly beaten it without the character upgrades. The character upgrades stick around forever too. So if you die you don’t have to worry about losing your extra powerful new spell attack. You will retain it when you plug in a quarter and continue.

For the most part, each mission is traditional side-scrolling platformer fare. But there are a few levels where the game throws some wrinkles at you. One takes place aboard a boat and another has you in control of Madmartigan as he fights off an onslaught of enemies onboard a moving cart. This stage in particular was SO hard for me. These enemies come at you from all directions with almost no room to maneuver… and if you fall off the cart, you die. I struggled with this part even using save states. I can’t imagine how anyone could make it through without them. The checkpoints are genuinely forgiving, though, so if you die it doesn’t set you back too horribly far.

 

Graphics:

Willow just looks incredible. I mentioned earlier in my review how this game came on to my radar when I accidentally stumbled upon some pics of it online. My initial thought was that this game looked so good that it had to be new, or fan-made. It couldn’t possibly be 32 years old. It looked like a game made in present times designed to look retro despite actually being new.

But no. This game really is 32 years old, and it looks amazing. The bright colors, the vivid characters, the detailed scenery, the incredible bosses and atmospheric visual effects. When I think of games that came out back then I think of things like Rolling Thunder or Shinobi. This game is so colorful and gorgeous that my mind is struggling to comprehend how this game could have possibly come out in that era.

If I had to make one complaint it would be that the characters don’t necessarily look like their big screen counterparts.

 

Sound:

The game sounds really good. The level tunes are catchy and get stuck in my head. The sound effects are perfectly appropriate to what is going on onscreen. They match the music and the tone of the game very well. I have absolutely no complaints here.

Overall:

I had such a fun time playing Willow. I still can’t believe that this game somehow slipped past my attention for over 30 years. How could I not know that this existed? I guess the good news is that now I do!

My only real complaint with the game is its difficulty. How many quarters must it have taken to master this game and complete it? I can’t even imagine. Even using save states, I really struggled at times. I tip my hat to anyone who was able to beat this playing it on the actual arcade cabinet.

All in all, this was such a pleasant surprise. I could tell right away by the game’s graphics, music, and overall presentation that I was going to like it. The very first level proved me right. If you can get past this game’s steep difficulty level, you’ll discover a fun and enjoyable platformer at its heart. With its shops and the ability to buy items and upgrade your character – a surprisingly deep one as well.

I recently played Rastan for the arcade and I can easily say that Willow blows that game away. Find some way to play it if you haven’t already.

 

Final Score:

B

 

If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:

Ghosts 'n Goblins

Rastan

Shinobi

Contra

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

Video Game Review #269: Conker's Bad Fur Day

Conker's Bad Fur Day

Nintendo 64

Nostalgia Factor:

I first rented Conker’s Bad Fur Day back in 2001, expecting it to be simply another Mario 64 or Banjo-Kazooie type game. I remember being so shocked as I played this game and watched its insane events unfold. The cursing and the profanity. The alcohol abuse. The sexual innuendos. The shocking, random moments of gratuitous violence. And who could forget the giant singing creature made out of poo? This was not your average Nintendo kids title.

Back then, I was never able to beat the game as I got stuck about halfway through it. But boy did it leave an impression on me.

I would revisit the world of Conker in 2006 when I played the Xbox remake of the original classic. This time I was finally able to complete the game, although I never did come back and finish off the N64 version. Well, here in the year 2021, that has changed. How would I feel about this version of the game, after finally beating it 20 years since it was first released? Let’s find out.

 

Story:

Things begins with an angry looking Conker sitting on a throne, crown askew on his head, surrounded by what appear to be his loyal subjects. The game takes us back in time to explain how we got to this point.

In the past, a completely shit-faced Conker stumbles out of a bar. He wanders into a nearby field where a scarecrow helps him sober up and teaches him the rules of the game. A newly sober Conker makes it a priority to get home quick, so he can be with his hot chipmunk girlfriend, Berri.  I don’t know how Conker ended up at this bar, and why he couldn’t find his way home (all the areas we visit in the game seem new to him, but he had to have passed through them to get to the bar) but I guess these questions are never answered. In the end, it doesn’t seem to really matter.

The game’s big bad villain, the Panther King, sends his cronies out to capture and bring back a squirrel when he determines that a squirrel would be the perfect size to replace a missing table leg in his throne room. Conker’s a squirrel, so oh shit this seems to put him directly in the Panther King’s crosshairs. Conker travels through strange and mysterious lands as he heads home, dodging the Panther King’s cronies at every turn.

What makes Conker unique (aside from the adult humor) is the world of the game. Everything feels like it is made of a seemingly random hodgepodge of parts thrown together with no rhyme or reason whatsoever. You start in a corn field outside a bar, and you make your way past a gargoyle guarding a bridge near a waterfall. You end up in a seemingly cheerful area full of flowers and sunshine only to find yourself caught in a bloody skirmish between two groups of bees. You wind up at a farmhouse where you befriend some farming equipment and fight off a killer Terminator-like pile of hay. You lead bees to a giant breasted sunflower (really) to help pollinate it. You explore the land of the dung beetles, where everything is covered in shit. You fight a giant opera singing boss character made out of said shit, and you defeat him by throwing corn kernels at him. Then you head to an underwater area, a tower filled with bats, a cavern filled with cavemen and dinosaurs, a night club populated by rock creatures, and then a graveyard, and then Dracula’s house, and then a war zone pulled straight from Saving Private Ryan. Do you get my point? The connective tissue between these stages is very thin and oddly random. What kind of drugs were the makers of this game on? Is the whole point of this game’s world to be as random as possible and not make any sense? I mean, I like that kind of humor. I dig the non sequitur. It’s how I make people laugh myself. But I have never seen it taken to quite the extreme that it is in this game. 

Long story short, at the end of the game Berri dies, Conker defeats the Panther King (without actually fighting him as a boss character, which I found strange), and Conker becomes the new king. Wow, what an eventful day! A bad fur day, you might say.

 

Gameplay:

While this game certainly has an interesting premise and storyline, it falters a bit in its gameplay. On the surface this may seem like your average 3D platforming collect-athon, but it really isn’t. It’s hard for me to classify what type of game this is exactly. A platformer? A puzzle solver? A shooter? It is all these things at once, but none of them at the same time. I don’t think this game even knows what it is. I think the best way to describe it is a platformer with an asterisk.

Conker’s Bad Fur Day takes place from a behind the back perspective. You jump, you run around, and you whack things with a frying pan (your normal attack). Pretty standard stuff for an N64 game. But unlike most games of this type, you aren’t collecting coins or notes or anything like that. You aren’t searching for jewels or keys. You aren’t looking to unlock any hidden chambers. There isn’t a constant stream of grunt-like enemies to kill or dispatch. Most of the time when you are running around, you aren’t fighting or collecting anything at all.

The main goal of the game is to find money, which is pretty rare and hard to find. Aside from the introductory area of the game, you mainly hang out on the overworld map. There are a couple areas you can go to. A farm, a beehive, the shit-covered land of the dung beetles, a waterfall that leads to certain death. You have to fully explore each area, collect what money you can find, and then move on to the next. Like I mentioned before, you aren’t just fighting enemies and collecting items like you would in a Sonic or Mario game. This game can almost be classified as a puzzler, since you really have to use your head if you want to advance.

For example, when you come to the barn area you immediately encounter two big sentient blocks with faces on them. They are afraid of a mouse nearby. Clearly you need to jump on these blocks to advance, but as it is – you can’t. So you have to take care of the mouse they are so afraid of. You have to haul your butt to the other side of the game area, collect a piece of cheese, bring it back to the mouse while navigating an obstacle course of shit that can hurt you, and throw the cheese at the mouse. Do this three times, and it explodes from overeating. The blocks then allow you to jump on them to get on top of the barn. You then have to corral a couple groups of bees and lead them to a giant big-breasted sunflower. Gather enough bees and she allows you to jump on her chest and bounce to a high platform to collect some money. During this whole sequence there is no fighting, no gathering coins or gathering anything collectible off the ground, nothing you would normally do in a game like this. You have to use your head, and the game  doesn’t hold your hand either. This was just the first example that came to my head, but this game is filled with puzzling moments even more cryptic than this. I got stuck many times as I played and often had to turn to the internet for help. The prehistoric night club in particular stumps me every time. No wonder I couldn’t beat this game back in 2001.

As you get deeper into the game, you gain new attacks – not that any of them are any good. For example in the Dracula land you are given guns you can use to kill zombies and other enemies. Aiming, lining up, and firing your gun are all very tough to do, as the controls are slow and overly complicated. Same thing in the Saving Private Ryan area of the game. They finally give you some regular enemies to fight and it turns out fighting them is a giant and frustrating chore.

If there is one thing Conker’s Bad Fur Day does right, it is its boss battles. The boss battles are big and epic in scope, and often require observation and intuitive thinking in order to defeat them. This game felt most like a traditional platformer during its boss fights.

Graphics:

I think this game still looks really good. It has that classic N64 charm to its graphics that is hard to put down in words. Bright colors, detailed landscapes, well-designed characters, but rough around the edges at the same time. Many areas of the game are very atmospheric. Where this game really shines, though, is in its cinematography. The story segments and big action sequences are just so fun to watch. The game shows its age in some parts, but in other parts there are times when I simply can’t believe how ahead of its time this game was.

Sound:

This game has really good music and sound effects too. Each area of the game has its own little catchy tune attached to it, most notably the overworld theme. I couldn’t help but hum it to myself as I played – sometimes even when I was not playing.

Voice acting is great. Conker and the cast of this game have such big, vibrant personalities. The writing is exceptionally funny too, and had me cracking up more times than I could count.

When you think of this game’s sound, though, the first thing that comes to mind for me (and probably will for the rest of my life) is the boss battle against the Great Mighty Poo. Just listen to this guy sing! Freaking brilliant.

 

Overall:

I have so many mixed feelings about this game. I will start with the good. It’s funny, it’s clever, it’s got great music and sound effects. I love the premise of the game and how inappropriate it is. I mean, I just LOVE it. The mere thought of some blue-haired white girl firing this game up in the year 2021, not knowing what to expect, and immediately freaking out over its content and trying to cancel the game is something that brings me great joy. Please tell me this has happened somewhere.

But aside from all that, the actual game itself isn’t always very fun to play. Frustrating camera angles. Nothing to collect, no enemies to fight. All the backtracking and getting stuck all the time. Clumsy controls. Ridiculously poor shooting segments in the Dracula/D-Day areas of the game. The list goes on and on. I wish I could say that this game was an absolute blast to play, but I just can’t lie like that. Sure, there were segments of the game that were a blast (see the Great Mighty Poo), but those segments were few and far between.

Despite all that, I would still suggest this game to anyone willing to play it, if only for how unique it is. This game is both a worldwide fucking treasure and not very fun at the same time. How it manages to pull that feat off, I don’t know. But it does. Now that I’ve satisfied my curiosity and  completed this game, I probably won’t return to it again in my lifetime. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t play it though. If you have never managed to try the oddball curiosity that is Conker’s Bad Fur Day, you should get on it. 

Final Score:

C+

If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:

Banjo-Kazooie

Super Mario 64

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Sonic Adventure

Video Game Review #268: Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi

Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi

Sega Genesis

Nostalgia Factor:

Do you ever wind up with a video game in your collection and you have no idea where it came from? That's what happened to me with this game. It was never on any of my Christmas or birthday wish lists. I never bought it myself. I'm sure it was given to me by someone, but who? I can't remember.

As a kid, I played through this game from beginning to end a small handful of times before I ended up trading it in to buy a new game. I liked this title, but I didn't consider it a keeper like the Sonic games or any of my other Genesis favorites. Just like that, the game exited my memory forever. 

Even when I began compiling my Every Single Video Game I Have Ever Played list a few years ago, I did not include this game on the list because I had completely forgotten about it. It first re-entered my memory about a week ago when I saw a screenshot of the ninja character with his wolf. I started wondering why that screenshot looked so familiar to me. I looked it up and saw some other screenshots from the game, but even then I couldn't remember if I had played it or not. It wasn't until I started watching a YouTube playthrough when it all started to come back to me.

Why I had completely forgotten about this game, I have no idea, especially considering it is a pretty fun game. I closed the YouTube video and made up my mind right then and there that I was going to come back to this game and immortalize it with one of my blog reviews. Then I could never forget that I had played it!

Story:

Don't expect much from this game's story. In the distant future of 1997, an evil lizard man has arisen to power, destroying cities and taking hostages. You play as a ninja and his wolf companion as you fight your way through this game's five stages. At the end of the game, you kill Lizard Man and restore peace and order to the world once again.

Gameplay:

The game is comprised of five levels, each one made of three stages. The first two stages are your typical platforming stages while the third is a boss battle. Complete all five levels and you complete the game.

Have you ever played Michael Jackson's Moonwalker? If so, you understand the basic premise of how this game works. You fight through each stage, defeating all your enemies, while searching for a pre-set number of hostages to rescue. Save all the hostages and you can make your way to the stage's end marker. Exit the stage to complete it and move on to the next one.

Your character can run, jump, throw ninja stars, and use a slash attack against enemies who are up close. You also have a special attack that either kills everyone on screen, or if used during a boss fight, removes two bars of health from the boss's life meter. Take one hit and you die.

What makes this game different is that your character has a dog companion, and you can use this dog to help subdue your enemies. All you do is hold down the attack button to fill a charge meter for the dog. Let go of the button and the dog sprints towards the closest enemy in the direction you are facing. The dog doesn't actually kill the enemy, but distracts them so that you can come in without fear of attack and finish your enemy off. This is particularly handy when there are multiple enemies filling the screen with projectiles. Siccing the dog on one of them makes it much, much easier to run in and join the fight without getting immediately hit.

Graphics:

Considering this game is 30 years old, it looks REALLY good. I love the colors. I love the detailed backdrops. Your character, the dog, and your enemies are all very detailed and well-animated. You can tell a lot of love went into this game's presentation. The graphical appeal of this game is timeless.

Sound:

This game sounds like a dream too. It's obvious it was created by the same people who made Sonic the Hedgehog, as several sound effects seem like they were either taken directly from that game or inspired by it. What makes Shadow Dancer's sound awesome, however, is the music. Almost every level had me grooving along with its tunes. The little introduction music before each stage is awesome too. I couldn't help but constantly be reminded of Sonic as I played. Any one of these tunes would have fit perfectly in any one of the blue hedgehog's Genesis titles. Truly fantastic.

Overall:

It was a real treat coming back to this game. I still have NO idea how I had come to completely forget about it. No, this game isn't very long and no, it isn't very challenging. But it is just so dang fun. I played through the game twice and you'd think that would make me sick of it. But no, here I am wanting to fire it up for the third time in three days.

This is an excellent game and one that will stay in my collection forever. No trading it in. No forgetting about it. It's here to stay. Even more exciting is the fact that there is an arcade version of this game out there as well, and apparently it is somewhat different from this game. I can't wait to play it!

Final Score:

A-

If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:

Shinobi

Aladdin

Ecco the Dolphin

Sonic The Hedgehog

Sonic The Hedgehog 2

Video Game Review #267: Rastan

Rastan

Arcade

Nostalgia Factor:

When I was a kid my family used to frequent a restaurant called Shakey’s Pizza at least once or twice a month. In the back of this restaurant was a room that contained a small handful of arcade units. The only one that ever really got my attention was Final Fight. Every time we went, I would plug all my quarters into this game. Can you blame me? Final Fight was awesome!

One day our family showed up and sat down to eat. I ran to the back room while we waited for our food to come out only to discover that Final Fight was out of order. What? Out of order? How could this be? I visited the other units and decided to settle on a game called Rastan. I had seen this game before, but I had never thought to play it because I loved Final Fight so much. I plopped my quarters into the unit and began to play. Immediately, I was blown away by Rastan. The Conan-like character, the fantasy world, the bright graphics. It was a ton of fun too. How could I have never played it before? I was instantly hooked. The only problem was that I had a limited amount of quarters. I didn’t even make it past the first level of the game.

My brother and my stepbrothers came into the back room and tried their luck with Rastan as well. I remember watching them with bated breath, rooting for them to make it farther than I had so I could see what else the game had in store. I couldn’t get over how awesome it was. You could just tell by the game’s characters and its setting that this was a game with a story to tell. It was infinitely cooler than anything I’d played on the NES at home. My siblings didn’t have any more luck with the game than I did, but to me it didn’t matter. Rastan had grabbed my attention. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days afterward.

Plot twist: our family ended up moving to a new side of town shortly thereafter and we never visited Shakey’s again. Rastan slipped out of my memory for a LONG time. If we’re estimating that this happened around 1990 or 1991, that means about 30 years have passed. 30 years where I didn’t even think about Rastan once the entire time.

That changed earlier this year (2021). I’m part of a retro gaming group on Facebook and I noticed a post about this old arcade game called Rastan. I swiped through the screenshots one by one thinking “why does this look so familiar?” when HOLY SHIT it all came back to me. This was the game that for one week back in the early 90s had completely dominated my entire train of thought. I made up my mind right then and there that I was going to find a way to play this game again. I needed closure on that part of my life, as silly as that sounds. The only question was how on Earth was I going to be able to find an arcade that still had this game? It would be like finding a needle in a haystack.

I made up my mind. I was going to go against my moral code and use an emulator. I had always told myself I would never emulate anything until I had made it through my entire backlog of retro games and it became a necessity. Instead, I did the complete opposite and fell down the rabbit hole that is video game emulation. Expect to see lots of reviews of older, classic games that I never had the chance to play or revisit on the horizon. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, we need to talk about Rastan.

 

Story:

There’s not much to this game’s story. Everything is set up by the one screenshot above, and that’s all you get before you start playing.

You fight through 6 grueling stages and the game’s story is never brought up again. When you slay the final boss (a dragon), old Rastan reappears and says that this was just one of his adventures that paved the way on his road to becoming king. Sit tight, as he still had several more stories to tell.

The end.

Again, not much story to go on. But it did get me excited for the possibility of playing this game’s sequels. I didn’t even know it had sequels! I guess I have playing those to look forward to in the coming weeks and months.

Gameplay:

I wouldn’t be surprised if the phrase “hack and slash” started with Rastan. You do your fair share of both hacking and slashing many many times as you make your way through the game. Basic gameplay consists of controlling your character as he makes his way from the start of the stage on the left side of the screen all the way to the end of the stage, located on the far right side of the playing area. Your main weapon is a sword, which you use to kill your enemies in (usually) one or two hits. You jump over obstacles. You climb up and down ropes. You swing from vines. You collect power-ups. You dodge the barrage of enemy attacks that are constantly coming your way.

You have to be very careful because it doesn’t take much to kill you. Enemies occasionally drop power-ups which restore your health, but these can’t be counted on as they appear very randomly. You can collect weapon power-ups, which help a lot. Mainly these weapon power-ups are just longer or stronger versions of your sword, but there is a flame sword that allows you to shoot projectiles at your enemies. This is the only projectile weapon in the entire game, so when you snag one make sure to guard it with your life!

That is easier said than done, however. Everything is out to kill you. Respawning enemies, tumbling rocks, flying bats and birds, flames jumping out of pools of lava. Enemies even start firing projectiles at you the deeper you make it into the game. As if all this stuff wasn’t tough enough to avoid, there are several dangerous platforming sections where one wrong jump will kill you. Some of these sections can be extremely difficult, most notably when you are sliding down a hill or trying to swing from rope to rope. This game must have been a major quarter eater back in the day. No wonder why as a kid I couldn’t make it through the first stage of the game!

Rastan’s stages follows a very predictable formula. The game is broken up into six levels, each one comprised of three stages. The first stage is always an “outside” stage as you make your way to either a cavern or castle at the end of the stage. The second stage consists of said cavern or castle. The third stage is a boss fight. Make your way through all six levels, defeat the final boss, and you have beaten the game.

Graphics:

This looks amazing for something that came out in 1987. Seriously – I was five years old when this was released. That is so hard for me to believe. Bright colors, beautiful backdrops, detailed scenery, distinctive looking enemies and characters. It is like a cartoon version of Conan the Barbarian come to life. At the time I played this game, which I estimated to be 1990 or 1991 – this game had already been out for three or four years. And I thought it looked better than anything I had played or seen in recent memory. That should tell you how ahead of its time this game’s visuals are.

Sound:

There’s only a small handful of songs in this game, so expect to hear them over and over again. They’re okay. I guess my favorite game track would be the music that plays during the “outside” levels. The sound department isn’t really this game’s forte, however. The sound effects are just average and to be honest there is nothing memorable or iconic as far as sound goes that I am going to take away from this game and remember forever.

 

Overall:

Eight year-old Dan would be so happy I finally got the chance to come back and finish this game. I wish I could go back and tell him that anything is possible when you believe in your dreams.

I kid, I kid. While it is nice I got some closure on the Rastan chapter of my life, I can’t say I had TOO great of a time with this game. I enjoyed it. I had fun. It was a good walk down memory lane. It gave me a stiff challenge too, which was a refreshing change of pace. Games never challenge me anymore. And when this game got too hard, hey guess what? I was playing on an emulator and could manipulate save states to make sure I was getting through each stage with minimal damage taken.

That said, the game itself is perfectly average. Outside of the creative look and feel of the game’s graphics and level design, at heart Rastan's gameplay is simply "all right". You start on the left side of the screen and you make your way to the right, which is typical of games of this era. You move slowly. Very slowly. Apparently Rastan is in no hurry to get anywhere, it seems. You hit enemies with your sword. You jump over obstacles. You die a lot. And that’s really all there is to this game.

The graphics and presentation of this game, along with all the fun memories I have of it are enough to keep it out of the C range, even though I did just say the gameplay is perfectly average. This came out in 1987, and it was FAR ahead of its time when it was released. I would have given this an A+ if I had reviewed it at the time. Should its score suffer just because I so happened to have gotten around to playing it super late in life?

I guess that is going to happen regardless, but the bottom line is that this game is still, 34 years after its initial release date, fun to play. Can you believe when my son is 16, this game will be 50 years old? I bet it will still be fun to play then, too.

Final Score:

B-

 

If you liked this review, please check out some of my other game reviews:

Contra

Double Dragon

Guerilla War

Shinobi

Ghosts 'n Goblins

Video Game Review #266: The Lawnmower Man

The Lawnmower Man

Super Nintendo

Nostalgia Factor:

Growing up, the Lawnmower Man was a movie that I desperately wanted to like. I always thought that virtual reality was the future of gaming, and that this movie would be the gateway that popularized this brand-new technology. When I watched this film, all I was focused on was the VR and how great it looked. Did I care (or even notice) that this was actually a really terrible movie? No.

You can say the same thing about the video game adaptation of the film. I ended up renting this title for the Sega Genesis in 1994. I was so enamored by the virtual reality scenes and how hypnotic and beautiful they were that I didn’t even notice the game itself was a real piece of garbage. I played this game the entire weekend I had it. Despite the game offering a somewhat stiff challenge, I was able to complete it before sending it back. When all was said and done, I liked the game and I had a good time with it.

27 years have passed and I now find myself in the year 2021. Opportunity knocked for me to revisit this game, albeit the Super Nintendo version of it. Since my memories of the game were so positive, I jumped at the ability to play it again. Man oh man. Sometimes your memories can really lie to you. I did not enjoy this one bit. Read on for my full review.

Story:

This game loosely follows the events of the film, where a mentally handicapped man (Jobe) becomes an evil genius through virtual reality sessions. Jobe infiltrates the internet and tries to take over the world before his devilish plan is interrupted by James Bon- I mean Pierce Brosnan, I mean Pierce Brosnan’s character Dr. Angelo. The game takes the events of the film even further, as Dr. Angelo storms the sinister Shop’s headquarters and destroys their leader, Hank Schroeder – I mean Dean Norris. I mean his – yeah whatever. This game’s plot is pretty much inconsequential and completely forgettable. At least they tried.

Gameplay:

There are two main styles of play in this game – run and gun platforming action and 3D VR stages. Let’s start with the good and focus on the VR stages.

The VR stages look really nice, and I can see why my 12 year-old self would have fawned over them. In some of the VR missions, you control your character from the first person perspective, seeing only a pair of floating hands in front of you as you try to avoid obstacles and make it to the end of the stage unscathed. Touch or bump anything – and I mean ANYTHING, and you die and have to try it over again. Other VR stages involve shooting enemies with a cursor or controlling a racing pod as you zoom through an obstacle course. Objectively speaking, these segments of the game are the most enjoyable thing about the Lawnmower Man.

The reason I dislike this game so much is because of its 2D platforming stages, which comprise about 90% of the game. I don’t really know what they are trying to go for here. Maybe something like Contra? If so, they failed miserably. These stages are just SO uninspired and milquetoast that they completely wreck the entire game. They’re so bad. So generic. In these stages, you control some tiny little dude, firing your weapon ahead of you as run and jump your way through the game’s absurdly bland environments. Seriously, these segments of the game look like they were designed by one guy who threw them together in about 15 minutes. I guess I’ll rip on these stages more in the graphics section of this review. But the gameplay is just as bland as the game’s visuals!

There is nothing inspiring about this game’s 2D stages. Nothing at all. Hundreds of other games have tried something similar but with better results. I don’t know they managed to make something so boring, but it happened. You can collect weapon and suit power ups as you play, but you lose them if you get hit, which you will (a lot). Some of the weapon upgrades aren’t even really upgrades, as things like the homing laser take a ridiculously long time to kill your enemy. What kind of game is this where your default weapon is more powerful than one of the most high-powered weapons in the game?

Not only do some enemies take a long time to kill, they will often cheap shot you the second they appear on screen. Better have your finger on the duck or jump button at all times, as these enemies aren’t fucking around. Oftentimes I didn’t even know they were firing at me because the shots I was firing were obscuring or blocking the shots they were firing. It is tough enough to react as it is, especially when enemies duck and shoot. You have about a fraction of a second to respond, or you get hit. But to not even be able to see if your enemies are firing because your OWN FUCKING BULLETS are obscuring your field of vision is particularly fucked up.

Who thought this was a good idea?

With only three lives and three continues, this game can be particularly challenging if you aren’t ready for it. I’m up for a challenge, but not in a game where you get “cheap deathed” as much as this one. Lose all your lives and continues and you have to start the whole game again from the beginning. Unless you are playing with an emulator or something with save states, be ready to play for a long time if you want to beat this one.

Graphics:

I’ve already said how bland this game’s 2D stages look, but I guess for posterity I’ll say it again. They look really bland!

The 3D VR stages however are a different story. You have to admit that for a video game released in 1993 or 1994 they really nailed these segments of the game. It is rare that you saw anything like this back in the 16 bit era. Even Star Fox was kind of clunky and primitive looking. These stages are not. They are sharp, colorful, and smooth to play. Hypnotic too. The racing pod stages actually made me dizzy when I was a kid!

Sound:

I can’t remember any of the game’s music so I am just going to go out on a limb and say that it wasn’t very memorable. At the same time, it must not have been very bad either or I would have noticed. Same with the sound effects. Can’t remember any of them!

Overall:

The 3D VR stages are not enough to keep this game from getting a poor review. The 2D platforming stages make up about 90% of the game and that is what you are going to be dealing with most of the time. Take away the VR stages and this immediately becomes one of the most boring and uninspired games I have ever played. Easily a game worthy of an F score.

The VR stages keep it afloat…. barely. Maybe nostalgia is talking a little bit too. That weekend in 1994 cooped up in my bedroom each night, playing this game till the sun came up and the birds started chirping. I remember that fondly. As much as I didn’t like this game playing through it again in the year 2021, I just can’t bring myself to give it a failing grade.

This is not a good game. The only reason to play it is to check out the VR stages. The platforming sections of the game are a complete abomination. Play this game at your own risk. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

Final Score:

D-

If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:

Super Contra

Cool Spot

Beethoven: The Ultimate Canine Caper

Demolition Man

Tom and Jerry: Frantic Antics

Video Game Review #265: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

PlayStation 3

Nostalgia Factor:

Any loyal readers of this blog should know that I absolutely love the Metal Gear Solid series. In fact, getting the chance to play this game was one of the deciding factors when it came to me buying a PlayStation 3 console. I didn’t have much money left after buying the system, so I ended up just renting this game instead of actually buying it. I thought the game was fantastic though, and for a short while it actually bumped Final Fantasy VII down to #2 on my list of favorite games of all time. I’d end up buying the game and replaying it a few months after this, and that is when I realized that while this was a good game, it had no business being ranked as my favorite game of all time. Heck, it probably shouldn’t even have been in my top ten!

All of this took place a good ten plus years ago. I haven’t touched Metal Gear Solid 4 since then. 

Enter 2021. How would I feel about this game after so much time had passed? Let’s find out.

Story:

There’s a lot to unpack here, almost too much to unpack. I’ll give you the Cliff's Notes version instead.

Several years have passed between the events of Metal Gear Solid 2 and this game. Solid Snake has started to rapidly age to the point where he now looks like an old man. Snake is working closely with Otacon to track down Liquid/Ocelot and put an end to him and his terrorist ways once and for all. When Snake finds out he doesn’t have much longer to live before he becomes a Fox Die spreading bio weapon, he lays it all on the line to take down his arch nemesis.

Liquid has become a mercenary with a vast group of soldiers under his command. In the not too distant future, war fuels the global economy. Liquid has used his soldiers and his expertise on the battlefield to get rich fast. Liquid seems intent on using this power and this money to wipe out the Patriots, the mysterious shadow organization that was revealed in Metal Gear Solid 2.

Snake’s journey to take down Liquid takes him all over the globe, including a surprise return to Shadow Moses Island. I won’t dive too much into spoiler territory, but the game wraps up in a satisfactory manner, with nearly all loose ends from the series tied up. And boy, were there a lot of loose ends.

Meryl comes back. Naomi, Mei-Ling. Vamp from Metal Gear 2 returns, as do Raiden and Rose. Olga Gurlukovich’s daughter Sunny plays a prominent role in this game. Almost all of the cast of Snake Eater returns in some form or another. Even the pooping soldier from previous entries in the series makes a return!

All in all, story-wise this game was a fitting end to an epic series.

 

Gameplay:

This is where I had my biggest issue with this game. Metal Gear Solid is at its finest when you are investigating an open world, Blaster Master-like environment – such as Shadow Moses Island from the first game or the Big Shell from its sequel. This game is as linear as they come, where you rarely (if ever) explore game environments or backtrack to find items. You just move from one screen to another, either shooting your enemies or sneaking by them. And honestly it doesn’t really matter how you play because as soon as you move from one area to another – your alert status goes away.

I found the whole first half of the game to be really repetitive. You can just run through each level without engaging or fighting enemies and pass with flying colors. Midway through the game they try to spice things up by adding some sneaking spy elements into the mix, but honestly I found this to be my least favorite part of the whole game. My favorite chapters were the Shadow Moses one (of course) and the game’s final chapter. It took more than half of the game to do it, but eventually it found its footing with me.

Where this game excels is in its boss fights and predetermined big battle set pieces. Metal Gear has always had great, imaginative boss battles and this game is no exception. Some of these fights are supremely epic, rivaling in scale what you would see in a big budget Hollywood movie. They are a lot of fun to play through too, and make you use your brain to determine proper strategies that will lead you to victory.

 

Graphics:

I thought this game looked stunning when it first came out, but honestly it has already started to show its age a bit. Some of the early game environments, like the Middle East, are dull and bland to look at. Things become more interesting visually as you get deeper into the game, but honestly nothing stands out to me as gorgeous or jaw dropping. The most interesting things visually in this game are the big, epic fight sequences which I touched upon earlier.

The characters in the game look pretty good. It is interesting to look at Snake from the first Metal Gear Solid game and compare him to where he is now. We’ve come such a long way! A fun flashback moment in the game even alludes to this very statement.

Sound:

The game’s visuals may not have aged too horribly well, but its sound does not have that problem. Everything sounds fantastic, from the music to the sound effects to the voice acting. The music is everything you’ve come to expect from the Metal Gear series. I think the word epic describes it pretty well. One of my favorite Metal Gear tracks, The Best is Yet to Come, is playable on Snake's in-game Ipod. Did I listen to this song on repeat over and over again as I played through the Shadow Moses stage? You bet your sweet behind I did!

But the heart of the series has always been its voice acting, starting with Solid Snake. David Hayter is back in action and better than ever before. The supporting cast sounds fantastic too. Liquid, Raiden, Naomi, Campbell, Otacon – everyone. Spot on voice acting. The classic alert noise makes its return as well. 

One of my favorite moments in the game is the music montage during the final battle with Liquid. It pays homage to so many different musical memories from the series. It is as close to perfection as you can get.

Overall:

There is a lot to love about this game. The story, the characters, the music, the voice acting, the big action scenes. I just wish it was more fun to play. Too much of this game consists of simply running from one screen to the next. You can simply run right by a bunch of enemies and go on alert status. It doesn’t matter. The second you leave the area, a cut scene or a Codec conversation will start playing and your alert status will go away.

It often seems like you can’t walk five steps without a cut scene interrupting you. This isn’t new to the Metal Gear series. It’s always been very heavily story-oriented, with lots of talking and Codec conversations. But this game takes things to a whole new level. I think there is one cutscene in particular that is more than 45 minutes long. Seriously! You definitely do more watching than playing with this game. And when you do play, it really isn’t as fun as you want it to be.

I think I was spoiled by having Metal Gear Solid one as my introduction to the series. It is an amazing A+ game, and every game in the series has been judged by the standards this game has set. Is Metal Gear 4 a bad game? No, not at all. But if we are looking at the gameplay and JUST the gameplay, this is a C title at best. The only things elevating it for me are the story, the voice acting, and the game’s overall presentation. The fact that this game ties up so many loose ends, and does it effortlessly as well, is amazing. It was a real treat seeing Snake’s story, which began on the PS1, fully wrapped up here on the PS3.

But like I said, if ONLY this game was more fun to play. It could have been a masterpiece. Instead, it stands as a slightly above average 3rd person shooter.

 

Final Score:

B-

If you liked this review, check out my other Metal Gear reviews:

Metal Gear Solid

Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes