The Simpsons
Arcade
Nostalgia Factor:
I did it! 300 game reviews. And they said it couldn't be done. I decided to make my 300th review something special, for a game that I loved to play growing up and I also had an interesting history with as a kid.
The first time I ever played it was back when I was in 3rd grade. I had just started at a new school, and one of my classmates invited me to his birthday party at a nearby bowling alley. I remember all of us kids gathering around this machine, plugging in our quarters and having a fantastic time controlling Marge, Homer, Lisa, and Bart as we trounced through Springfield, beating the crap out of everyone in sight. We were all so incredibly in awe of this game and how faithfully it recreated the look and feel of the Simpsons. At the time, I don’t think I had ever been more impressed with an arcade game in my life.
I was on the far left hand side of the arcade cabinet, so I was in control of Marge. Normally I’d scoff at not being able to play as Bart, but Marge’s rangy vacuum cleaner attack more than made up for it. Around the cemetery level of the game, I ran out of quarters. There was another kid waiting his turn to jump in, but instead of doing so he put a quarter or two into the slot and told me to keep going. So I did. And he kept doing it. Quarter after quarter, he let me keep going.
The next day at school, I found out that this kid had complained to his parents and all the other kids at the party that I had “forced him” to put his money into the game and then I wouldn’t move over and let him play – essentially stealing his money and being a jerk to him in the process. Being the new kid at the school, this automatically cast me in a bad light with all the other kids (and their parents) and I was never invited to another birthday party again. Just another sad step down the path of being the angry loner kid I turned out to be.
Such fun memories.
Anyway, I did always like this game as a kid. I had the opportunity to play through it a few other times at different arcades, this time with enough quarters on hand to actually complete the game. Over the years this has gone down in my books as one of my favorite beat ‘em ups of all time. That said, I haven't played it in nearly 20 years. How would I feel about it now, in present day? Well, that’s what we’re here to find out.
Story:
This game has such a weird storyline, but I guess a beat ‘em up set in the Simpsons universe wouldn’t really work without a weird storyline in place. The game begins with Smithers (Mister Burns’ right-hand man) robbing a bank. Why Smithers is robbing a bank, I have no idea. Seems a little out of character to me, but whatever. On his way out the front door of the bank he runs head first into the Simpsons, flinging a jewel into the air which is recovered by Maggie Simpson, who sticks it in her mouth and sucks on it like a pacifier. Rather than grab the jewel away from her, Smithers grabs the whole baby and runs away, leaving the Simpsons to chase after him. In his wake the Simpsons have to fight against a nonstop wave of henchmen and criminal lackeys, presumably hired by Smithers and Mr Burns to assist in the robbery and subsequent getaway.
Chasing after Smithers, this game leads the Simpsons through a ton of fun Springfield locations, such as Moe’s Tavern, the news station, the cemetery, and a Krusty the Klown themed amusement park. There’s even a bizarre dream world you must fight your way through after your characters fall down a waterfall after a fight with a bear. Like I said, this game’s story is weird. Things finish up at Mr. Burns’ mansion, where you fight Smithers and Burns, who act as the game’s final bosses. Beat the bad guys, get the baby back.
Yay!!!
Like I said, there’s a lot of stuff about this game’s story that doesn’t make sense. Why are Smithers and Mr Burns robbing banks? Why is the entrance to Moe’s Tavern at the bottom of a hole in the cemetery? Why are we fighting zombies and bears? Where did they even come from? What happens to Homer's job after he just finished beating the shit out of his boss? Why are – yeah I could go on for a long time, but I won’t. This game’s story doesn’t matter much, and only serves a very loose reason as to why the Simpsons would have any reason to get into a giant brawl with like 90% of Springfield’s population.
Gameplay:
If you’ve played literally any beat ‘em up from this era, you know how this game works. You move from left to right. You operate on a 3D plane. You punch your enemies. You can jump into the air and attack them. Every once in a while you can pick up projectiles to throw at your enemies. You collect the occasional health item. There are environmental hazards. You fight a boss at the end of the stage. Blah blah blah. It seems like I’ve played a TON of beat ‘em ups lately (TMNT, Final Fight, Turtles in Time, Streets of Rage, etc), and this game does literally nothing that you haven’t seen in those games. I don’t feel like repeating myself so if you really don’t know how this type of game works, you can click a link to those reviews, which I’ll put at the bottom of this post. Happy? I hope so.
What sets Simpsons apart is… well, its theme. Just seeing the world of the Simpsons brought to life really gives this game a ton of personality and makes it super fun. I challenge anyone to pick up this game and have a bad time with it. I don’t think that’s possible. If I had to offer any complaints at all, I’d say that the game is a bit easy. The average enemy you fight is complete fodder, and they go down in just a couple of hits. The bosses are where this game gets challenging, but try as I might – I couldn’t really figure out any decent strategies from these battles aside from spamming my attack and my jump attack and taking my lumps as the enemy deals them out. These bosses become a war of attrition, designed to make you keep plugging quarter after quarter into the machine.
I understand this and I don’t hold it against the game, but it does make things seem a bit imbalanced when it comes to its difficulty level.
Graphics:
I already mentioned the theme of this game as one of its highlights. Let me go into greater detail.
The introduction. OMG, it is fabulous. It is just like the opening credits of a Simpsons episode, but it tells you a little bit about the characters and their strengths and weakness before you even play the game. The animation is spot on, and it really does a tremendous job capturing the feel of the show. Right off the bat, you know you’re in for something special.
The characters look fantastic – both the protagonists and the enemies. There is absolutely no mistaking who any of these characters are. And the world they inhabit is bright, colorful, and bursting with activity – like an episode of the show come to life. Just look at the very first stage, where you are walking down Springfield’s main drag. You see all kinds of businesses and shops in the background – and if you really pay attention you’ll notice a lot of fun little Easter eggs thrown in there. Krusty’s amusement park, the cemetery, Moe’s Tavern, the forest stage, the dream world, the news station, all of these stages are unique and very well-designed. My personal favorite has always been Moe’s Tavern. It’s such a treat to walk through and see all the fun little touches like arcade machines and pool tables. You can interact with things, like knocking bar stools into your enemies.
It takes me back to when I was a kid, playing this for the first time. I was a big fan of the show back then (haven’t seen an episode in YEARS in present day, however). Playing through this game was like a dream come true. Forget the gameplay even. Just seeing this game in action and visiting all these iconic Springfield locations was such a treat for me. I can imagine any fan of the Simpsons probably felt the same way.
Sound:
This game’s sound is terrific too. I’ll take you back to the introduction again. It doesn’t matter how faithful to the show the introduction looks if the music doesn’t do its part – and do its part it does. If you’re not grooving and whistling along to that iconic Simpsons intro music, you’re doing things completely wrong.
The game’s stage music is good. The sound effects are good. The music in between stages is good. If I had to offer one complaint it would be in the voice acting. I noticed little snippets of voice acting here and there as I played – and that’s fine. But I was playing as Marge for the entirety of my playthrough and not one time did I hear any of her iconic “hmmmmm” grunts and groans as I played. I didn’t play as any of the other characters, but if they left out Homerisms like “d’oh” or Bart sayings like “eat my shorts” and “aye carumba” then that is a MAJOR failure on behalf of the sound designers.
Overall:
This game is a bit hard for me to evaluate. I always say that it doesn’t matter how good a game’s graphics or presentation are, as long as the game itself is fun to play. And make no doubt about it, this is a fun game to play. I can’t help but feel, however, that if you stripped the Simpson’s theme away from this game, you’d be left with a very standard and run of the mill “been there done that” beat ‘em up.
Burnout could be an issue for me. As I said earlier, I’ve been playing a ton of beat ‘em ups lately and maybe I’m starting to get burnt out on them. Maybe if I’d played through the Simpsons before playing through things like Streets of Rage and the TMNT games I’d end up liking this game more than the others. But that’s a hypothetical, and I don’t deal in those.
The fact of the matter is: I didn’t like this game as much as the other titles I listed. It’s funny because if you would have asked me back in the 90s, the height of Turtle-mania, which title I liked the best I actually would have said I liked the Simpsons more than the TMNT beat ‘em ups. And I can’t help but feel that it is because of the graphics, presentation, and overall theme of the game. You can’t deny that this is a really stunning looking Simpsons game, perhaps even more so than either of the TMNT games.
Playing them in present day and with a more objective attitude, however, I can safely and resoundingly say that the TMNT games are better. Not to sell this game short. I still think this is a lot of fun, and it is yet another one of those games that I absolutely cannot wait to play with my son when he is old enough to start playing games. I think we’ll have an absolute blast with this game.
But let's not act like gameplay-wise this is the greatest beat 'em up of all time. Because it's not.
Final Score:
B
And there we have it, 300 game reviews! Stay tuned for my upcoming post where I take a look back at my 300 reviews and give you a little glimpse at games I will be taking a look at in the future!
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