Video Game Review #103: Ghosts 'n Goblins

Ghosts 'n Goblins

Nintendo Entertainment System

I have a love/hate relationship with this game that goes back a long long time. I was born in 1982. Ghosts 'n Goblins was released for the NES back in 1986. That would have put me at the age of four years old at the time this game came out. It varies for everyone, but for me this was the age I began to start remembering things and retaining information. So in a way, my real life journey began around the time Ghosts 'n Goblins was released. It's like this game and I have grown up together side by side.

I was just four years old, so I only have the slightest memories of this game's release. But I do recall playing it at my grandparents' house because one of my uncles had gotten the game brand-new. I also remember everyone taking turns and giving it a go, but no one could get past the first level. I was super excited because I was the one who made it to the part where you have to jump over the gaps in the water and avoid the flying heads. Did I make it through that part? No. Still, the youngest kid in the room did the best out of anyone. You got to give him that.

Such a stiff challenge probably would have turned most small kids away from the game, but not me. I took it as a personal challenge. I didn't own the game myself, but I added it to my wish list. I had only seen one level of the game and I had been amazed by it. Who knows what wonders the rest of the game would hold? I remember being obsessed with the box art (just look at it and tell me that it is not something a four year old would be fascinated with) and dreaming that some day I would find out for myself.

Which I did.

I ended up getting this game as a gift. I don't recall if I got it immediately or if I had to wait a year or two first. But I got it. I wasn't very good at the game, but I tried. Just making it past stage two was an accomplishment for me. I am pretty sure I gave up on the game because it was too hard. I thought I would never be good enough to beat it. I started playing other things, but the fascination with Ghosts 'n Goblin never truly went away for me.

This was the late 80s. Around this time, my dad had a friend named James who stayed with us for a few months. He was out of work, down on his luck. Nice enough guy, but he was very lazy. Instead of going out and looking for work he would sit on the couch all day playing our NES games. He moved so infrequently that he actually made a permanent indentation in the couch with his body that our family still jokes about to this day. My point is that he loved Ghosts 'n Goblins and would play it a lot. I don't think he ever actually beat the game, but he made it farther than I ever did. I remember watching him in amazement as he moved on to new levels I had never seen before.

I began playing the game again. I was a little older, maybe a little better equipped to deal with things. My mom had just moved into a new place, so this would put me at third grade when I was about seven or eight years old. Several years had passed since I'd originally gotten this game. Still, I hadn't actually beaten it. Well gosh darn it, I made it my mission to beat this game. No more messing around. I have memories of long, frustrating, marathon sessions with Ghosts 'n Goblins in my mom's basement at the new place. I pulled out every trick in the book (shooting the red demons on the edge of the screen and then moving away so they'd disappear, using only the knife, etc.), and I really dedicated my time to conquering this game.

The hard work paid off, and after years and years of Ghosts 'n Goblins in my life, I finally finished the game. I did what no one I knew had been able to do. Success!!

But wait. Hold the fuck up. The game's end boss isn't actually the game's end boss. Turns out you have been getting tricked by an illusion from Satan this whole time. In order to properly beat the game, you had to play it again from the beginning and finish it one more time. Oh my god. whaaaaat? I can only imagine my rage.

But I kept playing. It wasn't easy, but I beat the game again. Only to once again find out I wasn't done. I had to go back and collect the shield (the lamest weapon in the whole game) and defeat the final boss with that. Only then would I truly be a champion of Ghosts n Goblins.

I hated every second of it, but I did eventually finish the game the "proper way." It went down as one of the major accomplishments of my young gaming life. Of all my friends and family members who had had this game, I became the first to complete it.

Over the years I would play and beat the game a small handful of times. I always got frustrated. You could never say I was truly having a good time with the game. It's hard and it is unfair. I always liked the idea of the game and I recognized that it was an iconic title. But to say that I truly liked it would be a lie. It was a very love/hate relationship.

Eventually as I moved into my teens and my twenties I stopped playing this game completely. There may have been one random time somewhere in there that I played it, but that had to have been at least ten years ago. All I know is that it has been a really long time since I last played this game. Now here I am at thirty five and I am ready to give it one possible last go.

I have to admit, I have been putting off this game for a long time because I remember how much of a challenge it is. I really dreaded the thought of struggling through it again. But the time just suddenly seemed right. I was up to that challenge. I was confident I could beat the game in a few hours. Initially there was  bit of a learning curve for me but once I got going I began to remember all the little tricks you can utilize to advance in the game.

If you have never played this game before I will break down the basics for you. If you have played the game before I don't care what you do next. But you should listen to some of this game's music as you read the rest of this review because it is very iconic and will bring back a ton of memories.

You play as Arthur, a brave little knight who is out with the Princess when she is kidnapped by a red demon. What's important here is that Arthur is half naked and that he and the Princess are hanging out in a graveyard alone together when this happens. Scandalous! Arthur gathers his armor and runs off to save the day.

This is a 2D side scrolling platformer. Generally you start on the left of the screen and must run to the right to advance. Left moves you left, right moves you right. You can jump, you can duck, you can climb ladders, and you can attack with your equipped weapon. You start out with a standard javelin, which is a pretty effective but slow weapon. When you hit enemies that are holding baskets, they drop items. Items include jewels that add to your point total in addition to different kinds of weapons. Weapons include a fireball, an axe, a shield, and my personal favorite: the rapid firing knife. One of my tricks in this game is to hang out in the first level and killing the endlessly spawning enemies until I get the knife. Then I try to keep it for the entire game. It doesn't make the game easier necessarily because it is still very hard. But it is an essential weapon in my books.

A game map shows you your destination and your progress as you make it further into the game. There are six areas and one final boss you must defeat to beat the game. The first time, anyway. As I mentioned before you have to beat the game again and defeat the final boss with the shield to truly complete the game. Levels are pretty iconic and memorable. I love the first and second stages. That house with all the "Big Men" really gave me troubles as a kid. And then after that you have to make it through all those tough jumps in the city.

I find the blue cave area to be very memorable as well. And that last section with the white tiles and all the red demons to defeat. Yikes. It is memorable solely because of its daunting difficulty level. A reason this game is so difficult is because you can only get hit twice before you die. You start out with a suit of armor. If you get hit you lose the armor. Get hit again and you are toast. There are spots in the game where you can get armor back after you have lost it, but they are few and far between. Undeniably helpful, however, if you know where to look for them.

Another reason the game is difficult is because your character sometimes gets flung back when he is hit. When you are trying to navigate a difficult jumping section, this can be a huge problem. Also, your character won't move at all if you are accidentally hitting up or down at the same time you are trying to move to the side. So if you are hitting diagonal up-right, your character won't move right. Often times he will get stuck crouching too if you are hitting down and the direction you want to move. This can be really, really annoying if you are in the heat of battle. It killed me many times while playing this game and will probably kill you too.

What really makes the game difficult for me is the enemy known as the red demon. These things require multiple hits to kill. They fly around from right to left on the screen, swooping in AND shooting things at you. They are nearly impossible to defeat without getting hit. And as it takes only two hits to kill you, these things become a huge problem. Because I think they are so unfairly difficult, I have resorted to cheap tricks to defeat them. Usually I am above this kind of thing, but not in this instance. If you stand on the far edge of the screen, launch your weapon at it, and move off the screen in the opposite direction as it is getting hit, it will make the demon go off the screen and disappear completely. Because I think that these enemies are so overpowered and unfair, I do not feel guilty at all about doing this.

I thought I would beat this game in about two hours but it actually took me closer to four. The game was a lot tougher than I remembered. And I remembered it being pretty darn tough. But I kept at it. Some areas I found much easier than others. It was mainly the Big Men house with the unpredictable bat pattern level that I found to be frustrating, in addition to the last stage before the final boss of the game. I hate how they have it on the second playthrough where you need the shield to beat the final boss, but they put an enemy in your way who is immune to the shield attack. That pissed me off. It must have taken me over thirty tries to beat this stage so I could get to the end of the game. It was a frustrating experience.

However, I am glad I played and beat this game again after so many years. I think it takes a relatively skilled player to beat this game, so I felt a small sense of accomplishment after finishing it. But can I really say I had a great time playing it? That is questionable for me.

Ghosts 'n Goblins brings back a lot of memories. All of the game's enemies, stages, weapons, and sound effects and music are so iconic. I look at this game and I know it is an all time great. But at the same time it is tough because I find it to be so harsh and unfair. I like to think I had fun playing this title, but the frustrating areas of the game were really frustrating. I had several moments where I felt like I wanted to chuck my controller through the TV set. Luckily I practiced restraint and didn't do that. Should I reward a game for being so unfairly difficult?

I had fun but at the same time I didn't have fun. It is a tough for me to grade this title. I recognize that this is a classic. It has sentimental value. I grew up playing this game. It has journeyed through life with me. But it is so dang frustrating and downright not fun at all at certain times.

Sentimental feeling wins. Yes, I have a love/hate relationship with this game but it is more love than hate. Much, much more love. The harsh difficulty and the touchy controls that got me killed more times than I could count do hurt the game's overall score. All in all, however, I recognize this game's impact not only on the gaming world as a whole but on my life as well. It has flaws, but it is undeniably memorable and just a pretty darn good game.

Overall:

A-

Video Game Review #102: X-Men (Arcade)

X-Men

Arcade

Ah, the good ole days of the video game arcade. A lot of younger people will never know the excitement that went along with visiting these things. You'd walk in and be overwhelmed by all the flashing screens, you'd hear dozens of video game themes playing over one another, you'd see ecstatic kids rushing from machine to machine, dropping in quarter after quarter.

It was always an adventure coming to a video game arcade. No arcade ever carried the exact same games as the next one. Whenever a new game would come out, I'd always hold my breath when I walked in - wondering if they would have it in stock or not. It was always such a thrill when they did, and such a disappointment when they did not.

Back in the late 80's and early 90's you could find arcade machines all over the place. Chances are if I was in a place that had them, that is where I would be. If my parents took me to a restaurant and they had arcade machines, I'd be there. At a bowling alley, I'd be there. In a bar (yes, my parents took me to bars with them), I'd be there. Even at fairs and festivals I'd be in the arcade tent for the entirety of my stay.

In 1992, X-Men hit the arcades. That would put me at about ten years old. I was always a big X-Men fan as a kid. At the time, I actually had no idea that this game was coming out. I was on vacation in Florida. My family took a trip to Disney World. The kids and the adults split up and everyone went to do their own thing. I don't know if it is still there, but there used to be a giant arcade at the bottom of Space Mountain. After getting off the ride, I strolled through the arcade, checking things out. That's when I saw this game. It attracted me directly to it like a bright light attracts a moth.

Luckily I had an ample supply of cash on me. I played this game from start to finish, completely in awe the entire time. Over the next few years, I'd often see this game at arcades whenever I'd visit one. I'd always stop and take the time to play it. I loved it. I thought it was pretty much the best arcade game ever made.

As time passed, arcades went out of style and vanished from America's landscape. I moved on to bigger and better things, but it always kind of made me sad that I would never be able to play the X-Men arcade game again.

BUT THEN...

I was able to find this game available for digital download on the PlayStation 3. Looking at my trophy list, this was almost five years ago exactly that I first played this game. I played it, breezed through it, and collected all the game's trophies. It was a fun time, but a very short one. A few years later I played it with my friend Jeff over at his house. We beat it, we laughed at the game's horrendous dialogue, and we moved on. It was a fun time, but again a very short one.

I played it again just today for this blog. While this certainly isn't a bad game by any stretch of the imagination, I didn't enjoy it as much as I did in the past. I think the nostalgia factor of the game has messed with my head. A lot of times I will think back fondly to a game I played as a kid, and when I play it again in present time it is nowhere near as good as I remembered. This game kinda falls into that trap.

I just recently played Batman Returns for the Super Nintendo, and I found that game to be much better than X-Men. There is a lack of challenge here and a lack of depth to the combat that I had a really hard time overlooking. Everything is so simple and basic.

I'm just assuming you readers know all about this game. I apologize. This is a side scrolling beat-em-up in the vein of classic games like Ninja Turtles, Final Fight, and Golden Axe. This means that you move from left to right on a semi-3D playing surface. You can also move up and down to avoid foes and obstacles. Enemies are constantly coming at you and you must fight them off in order to advance in the level.

You have your choice of up to six different X-Men: Dazzler, Storm, Wolverine, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, and Colossus. You start the game with three lives. When you exhaust all these lives, you have the choice to continue. You can either pick a new X-Men character or use the one you died with. In the arcade version, you have to put in a quarter every time you want to continue. In the PS3 version, you simply press start. You have an unlimited number of continues. This makes the game a lot less stressful and a lot easier. You don't ever have to worry about dying because there are no consequences. In the arcade, you bet you'd be worried about dying because depending on your skill level, dying could be a very expensive proposition.

There are only three buttons that you use in this game. Jump, punch, and your mutant power. Jumping is self explanatory. Punching is a little disappointing as there is no kick button, and your basic punch move is very repetitive. Each character has a very specific mutant power. Nightcrawler teleports around the screen and does damage to everyone he comes in contact with. Cyclops shoots his eye laser thing. Storm summons a tornado attack. Dazzler dazzles. Wolverine's confuses me because his mutant attack consists of shooting some kind of boomerang energy disc from his claws. When does that ever happen in the comics, movies, or the cartoons? Never, that I know of. Weird.

My favorite character in the game, though, was always Colossus. I don't know if he is stronger than the other characters or if its only a "placebo effect" because of his appearance. But I always pick him. I like his mutant attack too, as it is a good one to use when you are cornered by enemies. He explodes outwards as he transitions back and forth between his human appearance and his metal one. If you do this when enemies are near, it throws them as far away as possible, killing most of them.

The story line of the game is a basic and simple one. Magneto bad. Magneto take Professor X. X-Men track down and fight Magneto. X-Men win. But let's be real, no one plays this type of game for the story line. I have to point out though some of the game's questionable enemy quotes. "X-Men, welcome to die!!!" is an all time favorite of mine.

At the end of each stage, you square off against a classic (or not so classic in some cases) X-Men foe. Fan favorites like Pyro, the Blob, and Juggernaut make appearances. Of course, Magneto is the game's final boss. None of these battles are particularly difficult. Or maybe it just seemed that way because I had unlimited continues. I dunno. I am sure they felt a lot harder when precious, precious quarters were at stake.

Graphically, the game impresses with its bright colors and big cartoony sprite characters. All of the characters are well drawn and instantly identifiable with their comic counterparts. The stages may be a little rough around the edges by today's standards, but it does feel like you are navigating through a believable X-Men cartoon universe.

My main issues with the game are its short length, basic game play, and its extremely easy difficulty level. You can breeze through this in 25 or 30 minutes, easy. There is not a whole lot of incentive to go back and play again. As I said before, there isn't much depth to the combat. You punch and you use your mutant powers. You can jump kick, but I found that to be mostly a useless attack. There are no items, no weapons to pick up and use. Aside from mounted laser turrets and a few areas where you can fall off the map, there isn't much environmental interaction to speak of. So soon after playing a game like Batman Returns that had a lot of depth, I found this game to be quite lacking.

I find myself with the same struggle I've experienced the last few times I've written a review for a game that I used to love. If I was going purely by nostalgia factor and how I used to feel as a kid, this game would get an A easy. But if I'm going by my current feelings, it would get a poor score. How do I find the balance? Giving it a C always works. But hey lets throw a plus on there just for old time's sake. Plus this game earns bonus points for earning the ranking of #85 on my list of 100 greatest video games of all time that I wrote back in 2008. Looking back on it now, it is a godawful list. But still fun to check out, like a terrible B movie that you know sucks but are still entertained by anyway.

Here's a link if you want to check it out (X-Men is at the very bottom of the page):

http://survivorsucks.yuku.com/topic/26697/Rudy39s-video-game-rankings?page=6#.WZDoZbLyvrc

You're welcome in advance.

Overall:

C+

Video Game Review #101: Dishonored

Dishonored

PlayStation 3

Dishonored is a game I have owned for several years now, but for some reason had never gotten around to playing until just recently. Back in 2013 or 2014 I had found a used copy of this game at GameStop for dirt cheap. I also had a gift card for the store which had more than enough on it to cover the cost of the game. Nothing else caught my eye, so it was a no-brainer that I would pick this up.

Little did I know that the game would sit on my shelf, untouched, for years and years to come. If you have been following this blog at all, you should know that I have more games in my collection than I know what to do with. Dishonored fell into the same trap that many other games have fallen in to. "I'll get around to playing it..... eventually."

Well, eventually finally came in 2017.

Dishonored takes place entirely from the first person perspective and is set in a very unique fantasy world. You play as a man named Corvo, who is a trusted informant of the Empress of Dunwall. When the game begins you are returning from a mission to seek aid for a plague that has struck Dunwall. You meet up with the Empress to deliver your results. The meeting is ambushed, the Empress is killed, her daughter is kidnapped, and you are framed for the crime.

Six months later, your character is busted out of jail by a group of loyalists who don't like or trust the new regime in charge. They want you to find the Empress's missing daughter, take out all the traitorous thugs who framed you, and restore order to Dunwall.

Your first mission is the prison break. This is where Dishonored eases you in and teaches you all the game mechanics and controls. Game play is mainly stealth based. You want to sneak up on your enemies and take them out, preferably in a non-lethal fashion. You actually can attempt to rush through this game fighting everything in sight if you choose. The game doesn't force you to play either way. But health and ammo is a little scarce in this game. If you do choose to go the combative route, it will drain you of all your items very very quickly.

I always try to play stealthy. Even though I have been playing stealth games like Metal Gear Solid, Thief, and Manhunt for a long time, I am still not very good at them. Something always happens. A guard I didn't know was there will see me. Or I'll accidentally make a noise. Or I'll get impatient waiting for my opening and make a dumb move that gets me spotted. It is always something. I had the same experience with this game as well. As much as I tried to stealth it up, I would often fail miserably.

Like other stealth games, when you are spotted the enemies all flock to your location. Unlike other games though, it is not an endless supply of enemies. You can kill them off. But as I said before, it is very draining on your item and ammunition situation. You can't just blindly run through this game trying to fight everyone and expect to have a whole lot of success. In fact, there are some areas that are pretty much downright impossible once you have been spotted. It took me a LOT of trial and error to get through these areas.

If I had to compare this game with another game, it would be Thief. The comparisons are obvious. Similar setting, similar character, similar first person game play mechanics. There are a lot of differences, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was playing Thief all over again when I first started this. And I was not a huge fan of that game, if you can remember my initial review. So by default I didn't like this one too much either. I know it really isn't fair to make that comparison, since this game came out before Thief. But I had played Thief first, so I couldn't help but hold this game up in comparison.

This isn't a long game. Probably about ten to twelve hours. Even still, it took me over a month to finish this game. I just could not get into it. I wasn't having fun. Playing was like a chore.

About halfway through the game, something changed for me. I still wasn't the game's biggest fan, but I began to not dislike it as much as I had before. I started to "get" it, if that makes any sense. The mechanics became more natural to me. I became a pretty skilled fighter. I still sucked at the stealth aspect, but I was beginning to at least show some improvement. And when stealth failed, there was always combat to fall back on. Or hiding. Shameless, shameless hiding.

In addition to being similar to Thief, the game also shares a lot of common traits with Bioshock. The overall environment of the game is pretty cool, much better than that of Thief and more comparable to that of a Bioshock game. The story line is okay. A lot of the game play mechanics like listening to tapes and picking up items are similar to the way Bioshock does things. Not only are there regular attacks in the game, but you can also earn supernatural powers along the way, very similar to Bioshock's Plasmids.

While I enjoyed the second half of the game, I still was not enthralled by it. It has its moments though. There is one mission in particular I really liked. You attend a costume ball in a posh mansion and have to find and eliminate one of its residents, who is helping your opposition. As you get deeper into the mission, you are given the choice of killing this lady or helping her run off with her lover. Either way, she is off your hands and out of the picture. Normally I am a heartless bastard and make all the evil choices, but I actually helped her get away. I thought it would add a little more intrigue to the story. And it did.

This game gives you choices like that every once in a while. Every in game choice you make affects the way the game's story plays out. In fact, the very style of play you choose plays a major role in the advancement of the story line. If you kill a lot of people, you inadvertently help to intensify the plague that is ravaging Dunwall. If you play in a more peaceful, stealthy manner, things will be a lot more rosy at the end of the game. Or so I've heard. I have only played through the game once and got the shitty ending because I had to resort to fighting so often.

Dishonored does a lot of things right. Graphics, story line, music, sound effects. Creating a nice, believable fantasy atmosphere. It plays and controls well. Clearly a lot of time and effort was put into making this a really grade A game. From a technical standpoint everything here is top notch.

That said, it doesn't matter how pretty or technically advanced a game is if it is not any fun. Not to say this game isn't any fun, but it does drag its feet quite often. It starts slow. It didn't get me hooked immediately. The whole first half of this game I trudged through. It was kind of a chore to play, to be honest. I only started playing regularly so I could finish the game and move on to something else. The game eventually did win me over, but it was almost too little too late.

So how do I grade a game that I half hated, half kinda-sorta enjoyed? I was going back and forth between D+ and C-, but decided to settle on the latter. I simply can't ignore all the things that this game does right. All the TLC that went into making this a really detailed and engaging fantasy world. It is not the most fun game out there. Definitely one of the least enjoyable games I have played in the last six months or so. But it doesn't deserve to be in the D range.

If you love Thief, you will love this game. If you love Bioshock, you may love this game. But if you hated either, then Dishonored definitely will not be for you.

Overall:

C-

Dan's 100th Video Game Review Extravaganza!

Well, let's not get too ahead of ourselves here. This isn't exactly an extravaganza. I don't want to get your hopes up. This is simply a look back at the 100 video games I have reviewed so far for this blog.

Statistically, the series I have reviewed the most is the Mario series. I have played and reviewed the following six Mario games: Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 2, Super Mario Bros. 3, Super Mario Kart, Super Mario 64, and Super Paper Mario. Star Wars and Resident Evil came close with five entries each.

My most reviewed system is by far the PlayStation 3 with 29 games. My least reviewed system is the Wii, with one game. I haven't reviewed any Xbox games yet. I actually just received a 360 in the mail a few days ago so I plan to play that and also play some original Xbox games too. 

I have attached a complete listing of each and every game review I have written. Thanks to anyone who reads these reviews. As long as I keep playing games, I will keep reviewing them. My love of video games will never go away. And as many great games as I have played, I have just as many great games still to play on the horizon. I haven't even touched such titles like Ocarina of Time, Final Fantasy 6, Xenogears, GTA: Vice City, Super Mario World, Bioshock, Kingdom Hearts, Blaster Master, Mass Effect, Knights of the Old Republic, Ecco the Dolphin, Chrono Trigger, or even any God of War game yet. The possibilities of great games to play is limitless. It's an exciting time we live in.

Adios and here is to another 100 reviews!

NES Reviews (11):
Castlevania
Contra
Double Dragon
Home Alone 2
Mega Man
Mega Man 2
Ninja Gaiden
Ninja Gaiden 2
Super Mario Bros.
Super Mario Bros. 2
Super Mario Bros. 3

Super NES Reviews (5):
Batman Returns
Cool Spot
Demolition Man
Super Mario Kart
Super Star Wars

Arcade Reviews (3):
Guerilla War
Mortal Kombat
Smash TV

Genesis Reviews (14):
Aladdin
Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine
Dynamite Headdy
Golden Axe
Greendog: The Beached Surfer Dude!
Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park: Rampage Edition
Michael Jackson's Moonwalker
Shining Force
Sonic The Hedgehog
Sonic The Hedgehog 2
Taz-Mania
Vectorman
X-Men

Saturn Reviews (5):
Alien Trilogy
Nights Into Dreams
Solar Eclipse
The Legend of Oasis
Virtua Cop 2

PlayStation Reviews (10):
Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy IX
Resident Evil: Director's Cut
Resident Evil 3: Nemesis
Silent Hill
Star Wars: Rebel Assault II: The Hidden Empire
Tomb Raider
Tomb Raider 3
Vandal Hearts
Who Wants to be a Millionaire: Second Edition

Nintendo 64 Reviews (6):
Banjo-Kazooie
Goldeneye 007
Star Fox 64
Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire
Super Mario 64
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Dreamcast Reviews (1):
Sword of the Berserk: Guts' Rage

PlayStation 2 Reviews (7):
Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus
Final Fantasy X
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
Silent Hill 2
Star Wars: Bounty Hunter
Tomb Raider Legend

Gamecube Reviews (6):
Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes
Resident Evil
Resident Evil 4
Star Fox Adventures
The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

PlayStation 3 Reviews (29):
Alien: Isolation
Back to the Future: The Game
Batman: Arkham Asylum
Batman: Arkham Origins
Beyond Good and Evil HD
Beyond Two Souls
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Dead Space 3
Duke Nukem 3D: Megaton Edition
Far Cry Classic
Flower
Game of Thrones: A Telltale Games Series
Heavy Fire: Afghanistan
Journey
Lego Jurassic World
Lego Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor
Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
Puppeteer
Resident Evil: Revelations
South Park: The Stick of Truth
Thief
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception
The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead Season Two
The Walking Dead: Michonne
The Wolf Among Us

Wii Reviews (1):
Super Paper Mario

Mobile App Reviews (2):
Bubble Witch 2 Saga
Candy Crush Saga

Video Game Review #100: Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine

Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine

Sega Genesis

Well here it is, my 100th video game review. I started reviewing games about two and a half or three years ago. I started simply because I had a massive collection of video games, but I would find myself only playing a select number of these games over and over again while the rest would sit on the shelf collecting dust. I figured that I would go through and play each game one by one. I'd then write a review for each game I played to help me remember the game. Then I would check the game off the list, put it into storage, and move on to the next game.

Even after about three years it still seems like I have barely made a dent in my collection. I have been trying to avoid buying new games until I am about 90% caught up with everything I own. But it hasn't exactly worked that way. Sometimes if I see a really good deal on a game, I just have to buy it. I do, however, believe I am reviewing games faster than I am buying them. So there is that.

I wanted to play something special for review #100. I've reviewed my fair share of Mario, Resident Evil, Metal Gear, and Final Fantasy games. One series I have barely touched, however, is the Sonic series. Out of my previous 99 game reviews, only two of these reviews have been Sonic games (the original Sonic and Sonic 2 for the Genesis). While this isn't technically a Sonic game, this game is very near and dear to my heart. When I was perusing my game collection and came along this title, I knew that this had to be it. Review #100.

Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine actually is not a game I grew up with. I had a Genesis as a kid, but this title never appealed to me. Back then I was all about shooters, platformers, and fighting games. Outside of the original Tetris for the NES, puzzle games were simply not something I was interested in.

I first played Mean Bean Machine when I was about 20 or 21 years old. So it was about 2002 or 2003. I was living with a girlfriend at the time. We were gifted a Sega Genesis with a small handful of games. Some of the games were okay, but the game that we spent the majority of time playing was Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine.

I played through the single player campaign. I don't know if I beat it on my first go around or if I had to continue the next day, but I did finish it pretty quickly. I was challenged by the game, especially by some of its later bosses. I died many, many times but I eventually came through and won.

The game plays kinda sorta like Tetris. At the time, that was the only game I could compare it to. Since then I have played Dr. Mario and I can tell you that this game much more closely resembles Dr. Mario than it does Tetris. So if you have played Dr. Mario you should know what to expect with this game.

I don't know who you are supposed to be playing as. I assume Sonic, but it never actually shows your character. Your enemies are all robots or mutant lackeys of Dr. Robotnik, complete with witty one liners at the beginning of each match. "I've got more sizzle than a rasher of bacon!" is my all time favorite. One by one you take these bosses on in battle until you get to the final showdown at the end with the mad doctor himself.

The screen is split into two sections. If you are playing single player, you are on the left and the enemy is on the right. Different pairs of colored pieces come floating down. You can rotate these pieces however you like. But your ultimate goal is to match four of the same color. Make a match, and the pieces disappear.

Sounds simple, but it is really not. Because any idiot can match colors. If you want to win this game you are going to have to plan for a massive combo. For example let's say you have a stack piled up of several different colors. Your next move is green. You can match your green pieces to some green pieces towards the bottom of your stack. This causes the pieces above it to fall down, creating other color combinations. The bigger the combo, the more damage you inflict on your opponent. Because every time you score a combo, you drop boulders onto your opponent's screen.

These boulders block your opponent's progress. You have to create a color combo next to a boulder to make it disappear and go away. Clearly these things can be a big pain in the butt. If you get a giant combo you can literally bury your opponent in boulders and make them lose the game. The bigger the combo, the more you drop on your enemy. So that is the main point of the game. Be on the offensive. You always want to be an irritation in your opponent's plans. Constantly drop boulders on them. Go fast, plan for big combos. It doesn't hurt to be lucky either.

I played this game a lot and became really really good at it. My girlfriend at the time played it and liked it too. We would have the most intense two player battle sessions all night long. I have to hand it to her, she was a very worthy opponent. We were pretty even skill wise, but I give her the edge. There were nights when she seemed untouchable and could not be beaten. We played it for weeks on end. The competition was so fierce that there were times it was genuinely causing animosity between the two of us. Fighting over Mean Bean Machine. I can look back it and laugh now, but it was no joke back then. I am very competitive and so was she. We were heated when it came to this game.

Eventually we broke up. She kept the game, but that was fine. I actually now have two copies of this game. One of them is on Sonic Mega Collection for the Gamecube. The other one is on Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection on PS3. I haven't played the game since, like I said, back in 2002 or 2003 when I was with her. But I knew that this was a fun game and a good one to go back and revisit and make my 100th review.

First thing I notice now is how much my skills have regressed. I found myself dying on some of the easier bosses in the game. I thought back to those fierce, epic two player battles I used to have and I used that as motivation to get my head back in the game. I ran into a few snags along the way, but I pretty much breezed through single player mode in an hour. Dr. Robotnik himself was a big letdown as I beat him within the first 36 seconds of the match.

After I beat the game I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. I used to play this game for weeks on end. I had such great memories playing it. I play it now in modern time and finish it in an hour. And I don't have anyone who could stand up to me competitively enough to make the two player fun anymore. I felt like I expected more.

I did give the game's ultra hard mode a shot. This is something I usually don't do on games because I know I will never be good enough to master it. I ran into major trouble immediately. I could tell it was going to be much more difficult this time around. I had to go on super crazy attack mode and hope for the best. I spent a good amount of time fighting my way forward in the game. I died a LOT but still was able to get to the end and defeat the evil doctor one more time.

I had managed to extend my enjoyment of the game a few more hours, but I still felt a little let down by it. This game just wasn't nearly as fun with the two player element taken away. If I had been asked to grade this back in 2003 I would have said A+. But playing it now, I don't know what to do. The nostalgia factor is strong. That can't be denied. I did enjoy the game, but was it A material?

I'm going to have to compromise here. Current feeling vs nostalgia factor. This game is a lot of fun, but there is no doubt that it is more fun to play with another person. Take that away, and the game is just kind of short and forgettable. I mean, it is fun to play. The graphics and the sound effects are about as charming as you can get. This game has the look and feel of an all time classic. But the experience is so short and so shallow. Single player can only keep you entertained for a few hours, but then that is it.

Nostalgia comes into play to save the day, however. Two player mode is crazy fun. Especially when you are playing someone with a skill set similar to your own. All those memories I had playing this game. Mean Bean Machine can be very intense to play with another person.

So I have to take all these factors into account when grading this game. The short and shallow single player mode. The amazing two player mode. When I think about this game in my head, I consider it to be a classic. It is very well made. It is a lot of fun. It sucks that the single player mode is so short, but that's why it gets an A- and not a higher grade.

Congrats, Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine on being my 100th video game review! You will be remembered for this honor forever.

Overall:

A-