Friday, January 7, 2022

Video Game Review #327: Mario Kart 64

Mario Kart 64
Nintendo 64


Nostalgia Factor:

I’ve always considered Mario Kart 64 to be the definitive Mario Kart game. I liked Super Mario Kart for the SNES, sure, but I never loved it. Over the years I’ve played other solid Mario Kart games, such as Double Dash and Mario Kart Wii, but none of them have ever been able to grab me the same way Mario Kart 64 did. Part of it might be a product of its time. I had some awesome four player gaming sessions with my brother and step brothers back in the 90s, and I will always cherish those fond memories. But a lot of it also is because it’s just a damn good game.

Would it still hold up over 20 years after its initial release? That’s what I’m here to find out!




Story:

No.




Gameplay:

Mario Kart 64 took everything the original Mario Kart was able to do and improve upon it tenfold. The biggest improvement for me is the way each race course is so much more dynamic than before. In the original Mario Kart you had flat courses with the occasional bridge to drive over or pit to avoid. In this game you’ve got ramps, hills, and bumps to drive over. You get launched into the sky. You go up and down steep slopes. Some of the courses have shortcuts you can take. I can’t rant and rave enough about how iconic some of these race courses are, and how they brought such awesome memories flooding back when I sat down to play this game. Seriously, they are SO well designed. Probably my favorite collection of race courses from any racing game, ever.

Rather than just driving over question mark boxes on the ground, you collect floating boxes on the course that reappear a few seconds after you collect them. This is a MUCH better system than in the original game. Gone is the ability to collect coins to improve the performance of your racer. Now you have to lean more on skill and learning how to drift to be able to keep a leg up on your opponents. This game carries over many of the same items you’d find in the original Mario Kart, but several new ones are added to the fray. You can get three shells at a time, which act as a shield/barrier that wipes out your opponents if they get too close to you. You’ve got a string of bananas you can drag behind your cart. A mushroom that you can use over and over again. And correct me if I’m wrong – this is the first Mario Kart game to feature the dreaded blue shell.

If you’re playing through this game in single player mode, you have the option to play at 50, 100, or 150 CC. Even after all these years I still don’t know what CC stands for, but I do know that 50 CC is the easiest level and 150 is the most difficult. What I did was play through each of the courses on 50 CC, making sure to win the gold trophy at the end of each collection of courses. When I’d clear them all, I’d move up to 100 CC. And then 150. Once I had cleared all the courses on the highest difficulty level, I considered the game “beat” and filed it away for the time being. I only have one controller and I don’t really have anyone else to play against in my life at the moment, so if and when I do pick this up again and play multiplayer with some people (maybe Channing when he is older?) I can come back and re-review this game. Because skipping over the multiplayer just doesn’t seem right and it feels like I’ve missed out on a big part of what makes this game special by only playing it in single player mode.

What I remember about multiplayer mode is that it’s freaking divine. You’ve got cooperative and competitive race mode. That’s fine. But what I always loved to play was the four player battle mode. It’s so hectic and so chaotic, and there is a surprising amount of strategy involved. I had such epic gaming sessions playing this back in the 90s. What I wouldn’t give to experience that with this game again!



 
Graphics:

This game still holds up surprisingly well. I know a lot of people like to dump on the Nintendo 64 and how many of its games don’t look too great by today’s standards, but I think this game looks wonderful. The racers themselves look terrific. The stages, as I said before, are extremely well-designed and just bursting with authentic Mario charm. I just absolutely freaking love how this game is set in the “universe” of Mario 64 and how you see some familiar locations (Peach’s Castle) and characters (those damn penguins) make token appearances. Call it fan service if you want, but this game brings the world of Mario to life in a way that is unmatched by almost every other Mario game out there.




Sound:

This game sounds AMAZING. It has some of the best music found in any Mario game, Kart or otherwise. Seriously, if that  Luigi Raceway music doesn’t get you pumped up to play some Mario Kart, there is something wrong with you. The sound effects are fantastic. I love all the little noises the different racers make. I said in the graphics section that this game was just bursting with Mario charm, and its sound has a lot to do with that as well. Top notch stuff.




Overall:

This game is just as good as I had remembered. I was a little worried, because when I played and reviewed the original Mario Kart (see the link down below), I found that it wasn't quite as good as I had remembered. No such worries here. This was and is a fantastic game. Great theme, great graphics, great music, great sound effects, great controls, great item variety, great courses. Just really fun to play.

I do feel as if I missed out on a big chunk of what makes this game great by skipping over its multiplayer mode, but I am not going to hold that against the game with my final review score. I remember how fun multiplayer was as a kid, and someday when I have the means I plan to recreate those fun memories with my son and hopefully some friends.

So yeah. Mario Kart 64. It’s always been my favorite Mario Kart game, and nothing that happened when I played it in present day did anything to change my mind. It’s still great. It’s still my favorite Mario Kart game. I honestly don’t know if it can be topped. 


Final Score:
A






If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:



Wednesday, January 5, 2022

Video Game Reviews #325 and #326: Judge Dredd

Judge Dredd
Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis



Nostalgia Factor: 

Back in 1995, I was one of the few people out there who liked the movie Judge Dredd starring Sylvester Stallone. I liked it so much, in fact, that I went out and bought the novelization of the movie as well as the video game for the Sega Genesis. This game quickly became one of my favorites, and I spent a LOT of time playing through it over and over again. In fact – insert random Dan trivia here – I was playing this very game when my mom called me and my brother into the living room to tell us she was divorcing our A-hole stepfather. God, I hated that man. I’ll always remember that glorious moment in life, and I’ll always associate it with Judge Dredd for the Sega Genesis.

Fast forward to the year 2021. I haven’t played Judge Dredd since the 90s. Both the Super Nintendo and the Sega Genesis version of the game are available on my RetroPie. I debated for a few moments between which of the games I wanted to play. I had always heard the SNES version of the game was better, but at the same time I wanted to relive some of that nostalgia I’d get from playing the Genesis version.

My sensible side won out, and I ended up playing the SNES version of Judge Dredd. Why not play the better version of the game if both were available to me? Well, it turns out that I enjoyed my time with the game SO MUCH, I ended up playing through it a second time – this time for the Genesis.

Which of the versions would reign supreme? In only my second ever dual system review, I’ll take a look at both games and make the final call.




Story:

The first part of the game loosely follows the events of the film, Judge Dredd. You shoot bad guys, you’re framed for murder, you’re sent out into the Cursed Earth where you have to fight your way back into the city, you expose the crimes of your evil clone Rico, and you head to his base at the Statue of Liberty to kill him and clear your name once and for all.

This game extends the action past the events of the film, however, which I found to be quite the pleasant surprise. Defeating Rico only brings you to the halfway point of the game. In the second half of the game, you do Judge things around the city – fighting bad guys, rescuing hostages, and putting an end to riots. The game ends with a nod to the comic books, when you are sent to the Deadworld to kill the Dark Judges and end their threat once and for all.



 
Gameplay:

Aside from a few minor differences, the SNES and the Genesis versions of Judge Dredd are essentially the same game. You fight through a series of stages, each with a clearly defined primary and secondary mission objective. There are terminals scattered throughout each stage that will give you updates on the status of your mission. Examples of missions include: destroy all the enemy weapon caches, destroy barrels of toxic waste, defeat 100% of a certain enemy type, open all locked doors – that kind of thing. You must complete your primary mission before you are allowed to exit a level. Secondary missions are optional. The only incentive to complete them is for bonus points.

You start out with just your default single fire gun and your melee attack. As you progress throughout the game, you’ll pick up a variety of different ammunition types that you can use. What’s cool about Judge Dredd is that you don’t have to kill your enemies. For an added points bonus, you can apprehend them and send them back to jail instead. To do this simply shoot your enemies with a rubber bullet, which will cause them to surrender. Be warned though – not all enemies are susceptible to the rubber bullets and must be subdued in other ways. Enemies with heavy body armor will only surrender after getting hit with a grenade, some enemies will only surrender after melee attacks, etc.

As you get further into the game you’ll quickly discover which ammunition types are the most effective against which enemies. There aren’t a whole lot of boss battles in this game, but the ones you do have to endure quickly become a war of attrition since it is so hard to avoid their attacks. Make sure you are saving your heavier duty ammunition for these fights so you can make quick work of the bosses.

I don’t know what it is about this game, but I found it so much more fun than other platformers of its era. Aladdin? Earthworm Jim? X-Men 2: Clone Wars? These games don’t hold a candle to Judge Dredd for me entertainment wise. I know I am probably in the minority with this opinion, but I don’t care. I had an absolute blast playing this game, and I found myself not able to put down the controller as I was playing it. It’s fun, it’s addicting, it’s challenging, and it hits all the right spots with what I am looking for in a 90s 2D platformer. I loved it when I was a kid and I love it as an adult.

Now let’s get to the nitty gritty: which version of the game is better – the SNES or the Genesis version? When it comes to controls, hands down it is the SNES version. Everything from running to jumping to switching out your weapon is so much smoother for the SNES. In fact, I started playing the Genesis version immediately after beating the SNES version and I found myself having a really difficult time adapting to the stiffer, less responsive Genesis controls. I just simply couldn’t do it after playing the SNES game.

I decided to wait a few days and come back to the Genesis version when the SNES version wasn’t so fresh on my mind. And guess what? I immediately was able to adapt and dive into the Genesis version of Judge Dredd. When you have nothing to compare it to, the game is perfectly playable and in many ways just as fun as the SNES version.

But as far as which version controls, plays, and handles better – it’s the SNES version. Hands down.

SNES Dredd: 1. Genesis Dredd: 0.



 
Graphics:

The graphics for the SNES version are better as well. It’s brighter, it’s more colorful, it’s more detailed, and the animations are much smoother. Not that the Genesis game necessarily looks bad or anything. Like I said before, if you had never played the SNES version of the game you wouldn’t even know what you were missing. Regardless of which version you are playing, this game has a lot of personality and it really shines through in its stage design and its enemy variety. This is a good looking 16-bit platformer.

SNES Dredd: 2. Genesis Dredd: 0.



 
Sound:

Finally, the Genesis version of the game is able to steal the spotlight a little bit. Both games sound good, sure, but the Genesis version of the game just has that booming, gritty Genesis edge to its music that I find hard to put into words. The SNES version by comparison sounds “weaker”.

I didn’t really notice a difference in the game’s sound effects, but reviews I’ve read online say that the SNES version’s SFX are better. If so, it was not significant enough for me to notice. The Genesis definitely takes the edge here.

SNES Dredd: 2. Genesis Dredd: 1.




Overall:

I hate to say it, since I grew up such a big fan of the Genesis version, but the SNES version of Judge Dredd is the superior game. If you only have the time or the means to play one of these versions, make it the Super Nintendo one.

Both versions of the game are very fun, however. I am probably one of the only people in the universe that holds this opinion, but I think Judge Dredd is one of the better 2D platformers of the 16-bit era. I could not put this game down as I made my way through it. It is so fun and addicting. The levels are large, there are different, innovative approaches you can take to make your way through each stage. I like the mission objectives. I like the weapons. I like the enemy variety. I like the little gimmicky gadgets (like the hover belt). The music is good. Even the story is whacky and fun. This is a truly underappreciated game.

Controversial opinion here: but for the amount of time you spend playing each game, I had more fun overall with Judge Dredd than I did with something like The Witcher 3. The entire time I spent playing Judge Dredd, I had a great time. I can’t say I had a great time with every second, every minute of all 100 something hours of the Witcher 3. Do what you want with that opinion. Is Judge Dredd better than The Witcher?

Okay, you can stop laughing now. But seriously: this is a great game. Check it out!

 
Final Score:
Super Nintendo: A-
Genesis: B+





If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:



Tuesday, January 4, 2022

Video Game Review #324: Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge

Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge
Game Boy



Nostalgia Factor:

I’ve nearly made my way through the entire Castlevania Anniversary Collection for the PS4. Now that I’ve played through Castlevania II: Belmont’s Revenge, all I’ve got left is Bloodlines for the Sega Genesis!

Before we get to that game, how did I feel about Belmont’s Revenge? I had never played this game before, so this was my very first experience with it.

Read on for my full thoughts.

 


Story:

This game takes place 15 years after the events of Castlevania: The Adventure (also for Game Boy). Christopher Belmont, the protagonist from the previous game, must fight through Dracula’s castles and destroy him once again in order to save his son from eternal damnation.



 
Gameplay:

I enjoyed this game a lot more than its predecessor, Castlevania: The Adventure. It’s faster. The controls are more responsive. It has better weapons. The stage design is improved. It is more forgiving in its difficulty. Overall it feels more on-par with the classics like Castlevania I and III than anything else. It does carry over the projectile whip from the previous game, so that is a nice touch.

One thing this game does differently is how it allows you to select the order in which you play through the stages. You have four stages available to pick from right off the bat. I didn’t notice much difference in difficulty among the stages, so play them in whatever order you want! Each of these stages plays like your typical Castlevania stage. You jump, whip, and fight your way through the level. You battle a boss character at the end. You move on to the next stage.

After you’ve beaten all four of these stages, you move on to Dracula’s final castle – which is broken into two separate stages. So lengthwise this game is right up there with the first Castlevania. Honestly, if you’ve played other entries in the series there really isn’t too much more I can say about this game than I haven’t already said in my previous Castlevania reviews. I could offer you a more in-depth breakdown of how things work, but I feel as if I’d just be retreading old water if I were to do that.

I guess all I can say is: this game is fun. I wouldn’t say it’s an absolute blast like some of the NES classics, but it is better than its predecessor and it is surprisingly solid all around for a Game Boy game. I never had a Game Boy growing up because I figured each game was probably a lesser version of its NES counterpart, but I’ve been playing through a number of Game Boy games lately, and titles like Batman: The Animated Series, Operation C, Castlevania: The Adventure, and now this game are really doing a lot to change my mind.



 
Graphics:

I mean, it’s a Game Boy game so it isn’t really going to look that great. It’s black and white. The graphics are a bit dated. But you know what? I don’t care.

I’ve always said my only concern is if a game is fun or not, and this is definitely a very fun game. It’s not the prettiest game in the universe, but then again it doesn’t pretend to be.

 


Sound:

If I did have to offer one big criticism about this game it would be in its music. Normally the music is a high point when you play a Castlevania game, but here the music is just flat out bad or annoying in parts. My wife even came in the room when I was playing this game just to complain about its terrible music.

The sound effects are good though. Classic Castlevania stuff. And I do have to point out that there’s at least one decent musical track in this game: it’s that tune that begins to play when you hit the midway point of most levels. It’s got this “cool” laid back vibe to it that I enjoy, and I find it to be a nice reprieve from the rest of the game’s music.




Overall:

This is a fun Castlevania game. I enjoyed it more than the other one I played for the Game Boy, but not as much as I did the other classic NES titles. I don’t really know what else I can say about this. It’s fun, it’s challenging. It’s Castlevania! If you’re a fan of the series, you’ll probably like this. If you don’t like retro games or you think you’ll never be able to “get into” an old black and white Game Boy game, it’s your loss.

That said, I'm 100% certain that at some point in the future I'll be revisiting all the classic Castlevania titles for the NES. I'm not so certain I can say the same about this.



Final Score:
B







If you liked this review, check out some of my other Castlevania reviews:


Thursday, December 30, 2021

Video Game Review #323: Moon Patrol

Moon Patrol
Arcade


Nostalgia Factor:

While I would never consider it one of my favorites growing up, I always enjoyed Moon Patrol. It was one of those games where I could throw in a few quarters, enjoy myself, and actually feel like I had a chance with the game. It had the perfect balance to its difficulty where it was accessible to pick up and play, but was challenging enough that I could never *quite* make it all the way through to the end.

As I got older, Moon Patrol kind of faded out of my mind forever, until the last few months or so when I kept seeing posts about it pop up on social media. Now that I have a Retropie, I figured there was no better time than the present to revisit this game and see if I could beat it once and for all. 

Fun fact: this game initially came out in August of 1982, just one month after I was born. It’s like me and Moon Patrol have grown up together.


 

Story:

Uhhhh… as far as I know this game doesn’t really have a story. I’m sure if you looked at the Wiki page for this game you’d come up with something, but as far as I know nothing is ever explained in-game. If it isn’t explained in-game, I don’t talk about it here. Those are my rules, not that I think it really matters with this game. You drive and you shoot stuff, and that’s really all you need to know about Moon Patrol coming in.




Gameplay:

This is a very straightforward game. You control a little tank-like vehicle as it races across the surface of the moon. The joystick either speeds you up or slows you down. You cannot bring your tank to a complete stop, however; it is always in motion going forward as you play this game. Aside from the joystick, you only have two buttons: jump and fire. The jump button does exactly what you’d think it would do: it launches your tank off the ground for a second or two, which is something you’ll need to do in order to get over pits, mines, and other obstacles. The fire button shoots a projectile weapon both in front of you and directly above you into the sky. Why do you need a weapon that fires in two directions, you may ask? Because in addition to enemies coming at you on the ground, they come at you from above as well.

Moon Patrol is very fast paced. You’re always going forward. You’re always shooting at stuff (both in front of you and above you). You’re always evading enemy fire. You’re always jumping over obstacles. The game is divided into two main “courses" - beginner and champion. Each course is broken up into 26 segments, as noted by letters of the alphabet. Once you get through all the letters you complete the first course and move on to the next one. The champion course is also broken up into 26 segments. Make it through them once again and you complete the game. Yay!

But I am not sure you can call it really “beating” the game, because everything starts to loop from the beginning of the champion course again. Just like the games of its time (Pac-Man, Frogger, etc) Moon Patrol doesn't really end. Like the Energizer Bunny, it keeps going and going and going...




Graphics:

I'm sure you can tell by these screenshots that the game doesn't look like much. Everything is very basic looking. Aside from a few minor differences in the background, most stages look very similar to one another. 

That doesn't mean the game looks bad, though. By today's standards, a lot of games that are this old haven't held up well over the years. They look rough around the edges and in some cases flat out ugly. Moon Patrol does not have this problem. The game looks simple, yes, but it has a charm to it that is difficult to put into words.




Sound:

This game's music and sound effects are very simple too. The stage music you hear throughout the game never changes. It's the same for each and every level you play. While you'd think this would get old fast, I never found myself minding. I like this game's music. It's got a catchy beat to it that really makes you feel like you're on a mission each time you respawn or a new stage begins.

The sound effects are pretty standard for a video game made in 1982. What makes Moon Patrol different is that it never once has that "annoying" sound to it. You know, those loud and obnoxious beeps and bloops that are associated with games of this era. Moon Patrol is pleasing to the ear the whole way through it.




Overall:

I kind of feel bad that Moon Patrol never got the recognition it deserves. When you think of all-time arcade greats, you think of games like Frogger, Space Invaders, Donkey Kong, and Pac-Man. But Moon Patrol? You never hear it brought up.

I think this game is just as good as some of those titles, if not better. I'd rather play Moon Patrol over Pac-Man or Donkey Kong any day of the week. It's fun, it's accessible, and it has more depth and strategy to its gameplay than many other games of its time.

If you have the means to play Moon Patrol, you should check it out. It's a fun little piece of gaming history that's actually a very entertaining game as well.


Final Score:
B


If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:



Tuesday, December 21, 2021

Video Game Review #322: Final Doom

Final Doom
PlayStation


Nostalgia Factor:

I was always a big fan of the Doom series when I was growing up. I never owned Doom I or II, but I played them more than my fair share of times. I remember renting Final Doom for the PlayStation at some point, but I don’t remember much about my time with the game other than the fact that I played it and I beat it. I am pretty familiar with the first two Doom titles, so when I got my Retropie a few months ago I decided to skip over them for now and check out Final Doom, since I can barely remember it at all.

Turns out it is no surprise I didn’t remember it very well, seeing as how it is pretty much the same thing as the first two games (but with new levels).

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Let’s find out!

 


Story:

Does it even really matter? You’re Doom guy. There’s a portal to hell. You fight demons. If you’ve played pretty much any old-school Doom titles you’ll know that this game’s storyline is a complete afterthought. You play Doom to shoot things, not to enjoy its story.

 


Gameplay:

Final Doom is a first person shooter. You play through about 30 stages. Your goal is to make it from the starting point of each stage to its end point. In order to reach the end, you have to collect keys, open doors, push switches, and solve puzzles. Oh, and shoot a lot of things in the process. And by a lot of things I mean a LOT of things.

Doom itself is a chaotic series, and Final Doom is no exception. Hordes of enemies are always coming at you. Enemies with shotguns (who seemed more annoying in this game than in any other Doom game), demons that bite you, demons that launch fireballs at you, giant robot spiders, rocket launching skeletons, flying skulls. This game has it all.

Your typical Doom arsenal is at your disposal. No new weapons, which is a little disappointing, but it is what it is. Cycling through these weapons in the heat of battle is as easy as can be. Enemies drop ammo all the time, and there are plenty of hidden caches to be found, so running out of ammo is rarely something that happened to me. My weapon of choice was the double-barrelled shotgun, which always made pretty quick work of my enemies. I got darned good at aiming with that thing, too. I enjoyed using the machine gune as well, but you can burn through its ammunition in no time at all if you aren’t careful.

Final Doom does literally nothing that you haven’t seen in Dooms I or II. In fact, if I wasn’t so familiar with those games you could probably give me Final Doom and tell me it is one of them, and I would have believed you. This game did seem at times a little clunkier than I remember the other games being, but it's been so long since I have played them I don’t know if that is true or not.

All in all, if you come in expecting just another Doom title, you probably won’t walk away disappointed. If you come into this expecting it to be different and unique, you are going to be in for a rude awakening, fast.




Graphics:

For the most part Final Doom looks like your average Doom game. The stages are dark. The enemies and environments are pixelated and a little messy looking, but that’s fine. Everything is permeated with that classic Doom creepiness.

Again, I don’t know if this is just my bad memory or what, but I seem to remember Dooms I and II looking better than this game. No one is going to say that any of the old Doom games look beautiful by today’s standards, but I don’t remember Doom I and II looking quite as messy ast this game. Blocky textures, messy frame rates, decore that can be flat out ugly looking at times. You’d expect the third installment in the series to look better than the previous two, but for some reason that didn’t quite happen here.



Sound:

At least Final Doom still does its sound right. I love the game’s grim and moody atmospheric music. The sounds of the weapons are all spot-on classic Doom – as are the noises the enemies make and the sounds of doors opening and closing.

Even with the messy graphics, you should play this in the dark with your headphones on. I don’t know if this game will necessarily scare you, but it will put you on edge.


 

Overall:

It seems like I’ve been harping on this game, but the truth of the matter is that even a mediocre Doom game is still a really good video game. Even though I didn’t enjoy this as much as Dooms I or II, I still had a good time with it. This became my go-to game when I would come home from work, beating a level or two before heading off to bed. Playing it like that really helped prolong the experience for me and keep it fresh over time. I think if I had sat down for several long playing sessions trying to make my way through this game, I would have tired of it quickly.

I don’t really know what else to say about this game. If you like Doom, chances are you’ll get some enjoyment out of Final Doom. If you aren’t a fan of the series, this game will do absolutely nothing to change your mind otherwise.

I’d say out of all the early Doom titles (I, II, 64, even the Quake games which I find pretty similar to Doom), this one is probably the worst. But it still gets a B-. That should tell you a lot about the quality of these games.
 

Final Score:
B-


If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:


Video Game Review #321: Star Fox

Star Fox
Super Nintendo


Nostalgia Factor:

When Star Fox came out in 1993, I remember being thoroughly unimpressed. Everyone at the time was going nuts for its groundbreaking 3D polygonal graphics, but to me I thought the game looked like crap. I remember playing it for a couple of minutes when it was on display at a local Target store. Those few minutes were enough to convince me that I never needed to play the game again.

Well, shortly thereafter my stepbrother Kyle ended up getting Star Fox. He brought it over to our house to show it off to everyone during one of his biweekly visits. I was still relatively unimpressed, but being a Genesis kid growing up, I wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to play the Super Nintendo for a few hours. And wouldn't you know it, I ended up really liking Star Fox.

I never owned the game myself, since I didn't have a Super Nintendo, but I would end up purchasing it later on in life. Over the years I have come to love and appreciate Star Fox. I haven't played through it since I began writing this blog back in 2015. How would I feel about this game after such an extended absence from it? Let's find out.




Story:

Unlike some later entries to the Star Fox series, there isn't much depth to this game's story. You play as Fox, leader of an Arwing squadron. Your goal is to take down Andross, the evil villain who has declared war on the Lylat system. You fly and fight through a series of levels before arriving at Venom - Andross's home base.




Gameplay:

Star Fox is considered a rail shooter. What this means is that the game takes you on a predetermined route while you have limited control of the matter. You can fly your ship around, do barrel rolls, speed up or slow down - that kind of thing. But you are basically stuck on the same path that the game has set out for you. This was the first rail shooter I can remember playing as a kid. To this day, whenever I play a game that follows a similar formula (like Panzer Dragoon or Solar Eclipse for the Sega Saturn), my first instinct is to always compare the game to Star Fox. You never forget your first, amiright?

The game mostly takes place from a behind-the-ship perspective, but you can switch to first person mode if you'd like. In fact, some of the stages that take place in outer space automatically place you into first person mode. While you'd think this would be my preferred method of playing since first person mode gives you an aiming reticule for higher accuracy, I actually prefer the behind-the-ship view. I don't know if it is all in my head or what, but every time I try first person mode I feel as if my ship has no mobility. I can't avoid enemies, I can't react fast enough to pick up items, I can't get around obstacles. So I always, ALWAYS play in third person mode - despite the increased inaccuracy of my ship's weapons.

Each stage is about ten minutes or so long. You shoot down enemies, you fly through arches, you avoid obstacles like buildings, ships, or giant enemy crafts. Along the way you can pick up health items to replenish any damage you have taken, missiles which pretty much destroy everything onscreen, and weapon upgrades that turn your simple pea shooter into a dual blasting cannon that rips through your enemies. If you aren't careful your ship can take damage and lose a wing. This is a major pain in the butt. Not only does it decrease your mobility, you can't pick up any weapon upgrades (and are stuck with the pea shooter) until you either die or find a rare ship repairing item.

When you first start playing this game, there are three separate paths you can select from the main menu: easy, medium, or hard. Each path starts at Corneria and ends at Venom, but takes you on a different route to get you to your destination. This gives the game some added replay value, as each difficulty level allows you to see stages you can't see if you select another difficulty level. So it is like three different single player modes - each with its own unique set of levels. Be warned, however - the hard difficulty is very, very hard. I struggled immensely to make it through this one. It is doable, but just barely. Some of the levels throw constant obstacles at you that completely batter your ship to and fro. And the bosses are just plain savage. I'd suggest tackling easy and medium first, at least a couple of times, before taking on the hard route.




Graphics:

I am a little torn on this game's graphics. Even in 1993 I thought this game looked ugly, and honestly it hasn't held up particularly well over the years. That said, I know that this is one of gaming's first forays into full 3D, so I can forgive it. Kind of.

What this game does well is in its small atmospheric effects. Explosions, giant bosses going down, the streaking light effects that you see in outer space. This game does an excellent job of filling you with that sci-fi "sense of wonder" that is hard to put into words. Despite this title's graphical limitations, I experienced many moments as I played this where I just had to nod my head and be like: "yeah, this is cool."




Sound:

This game's graphics may not have aged well, but its sound sure has. Star Fox has such an iconic soundtrack. The title screen music, the music that plays when you launch your Arwing the first time, the stage select music, heck - the stage music in general: it's all awesome. The music for the very first stage of the game, Corneria, is epic and is on all of my video game music playlists. It is great.

The sound effects are perfect as well. Everything from the way it sounds when you fire your weapons to the sound of explosions to the sound it makes when you accelerate: it is all spot on. The only thing some people might frown upon is the "voice acting", if you can call it that. If you've ever heard the sound of the teacher talking over the phone in the Peanuts cartoon, that is the way the characters sound here. Maybe not quite as obnoxious, but still very strange. I like it though. I'd often find myself repeating their gibberish phrases back to them.

"Deh deh deh, deh deh deh."

"Gripping and grabbing!"




Overall:

I've listened to a few retro gaming podcasts lately where the reviewers revisited Star Fox, absolutely trashing the game. "It doesn't hold up. It sucks! A product of its time."

While maybe I can see where these people are coming from, I don't agree with them. On the surface this may not be the most aesthetically pleasing game, but graphics aren't everything. The game handles just fine, despite the way it looks. The levels are diverse and creative. The enemies are unique. The bosses are big, intense battles that put you on the edge of your seat. I like the way you can take three different routes to get through this game. It gives you a different gameplay experience each time. Oh, and the music is fantastic too.

In addition to this. Star Fox hits all the warm and fuzzy nostalgic spots for me as well. I still remember how much I had dismissed this game when it first came out, and how I'd oh so quickly changed my opinion on it.

When it comes to rail shooters, Star Fox is one of the absolute best. This game doesn't come anywhere close to matching the greatness of its follow up, Star Fox 64, but then again few games can. Check this game out if you have the means. You might be pleasantly surprised by how it's held up.



Final Score:
B



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Thursday, December 16, 2021

Video Game Review #320: Spot Goes to Hollywood

Spot Goes to Hollywood
PlayStation


Nostalgia Factor:

When I was a kid I absolutely loved Cool Spot for the Sega Genesis. Spot Goes to Hollywood came out a few years later, but for whatever reason I never got around to playing it. I think I had simply gotten it confused with Spot: The Video Game, a puzzle title that I had absolutely zero interest in playing.

In the past few months I have been using my RetroPie to visit games that I had missed out on when I was younger. Spot Goes to Hollywood was one of the first games on my list that I wanted to play, especially now that I knew it wasn’t Spot: The Video Game. Would it be worth the long wait?

Read on for my full thoughts.

Note: I picked the PlayStation version of this game over the Sega Genesis one as I figured the graphics/music/etc. would likely be better on the PS1, but it turns out that these are actually two completely different games – even though they share a lot of similarities. I’ll be reviewing the Genesis version… eventually. 




Story:

This game starts with a pretty cool FMV sequence. Our titular character Spot is in a movie theater and is pulled into a movie playing onscreen via the projector beam. The game consists of you fighting through several different types of movie genres as you look to escape the big screen and make it back into the real world.

At the end of the game, if you didn’t collect all of the game’s special stars you don’t get to see the true ending of the game, and are sent back to the very beginning of the game again to collect everything you missed  the first time around. Collect them all this time through and you get to play one last sci-fi themed stage and see the real ending of the game.

Unfortunately, I did not collect all of the stars the first time through and there was absolutely no chance in hell I was going to play through this game again to collect them all. If I want to see this game’s true ending, I guess I’ll look it up on YouTube or something.



 
Gameplay:

Spot Goes to Hollywood takes place from an isometric viewpoint, similar to what you see in Sonic 3D Blast. It retains a few elements from Cool Spot, like your projectile attack and some of the same sound effects. Otherwise, this is a brand new game.

But that’s not necessarily a good thing.

Right off the bat, I knew that something was off about this game. When I first started the game up, I was introduced to a blank title screen with just the words “Spot Goes to Hollywood” on the screen. There were no menu options. Nothing to select. I just sat there for a minute or two, waiting for something to happen. I pushed the up and down arrows on my controller and I could hear sound effects like I was cycling through a menu, but nothing happened on the screen. I pressed x and was taken to a password input screen. As this was my first time playing, I exited back to the title screen. I am going to chalk this up to a rare misfiring of the RetroPie, but for whatever reason it wasn’t letting me see any of the menu choices. I can’t really hold this against the game itself, but it was still an annoyance I had to deal with. Eventually I was able to blindly select what must have been “start game”, so I started the game.

After the cutscene I took control of Spot and started to play. Immediately I was taken aback by the game’s odd controls. Normally I have no problem playing isometric games like this (I’m one of the rare people out there that is actually a big fan of Sonic 3D Blast). But the control scheme is just flat out weird. It’s like Spot is moving on a grid, and it’s almost like you use tank controls to move him around. It’s hard to describe. But it is very awkward. I did my best to acclimate myself to the game’s controls and moved on. Whatever. I can deal.

The point of the game is to make it through each stage – killing enemies, jumping over obstacles, and collecting things along the way. Every once in a while you’ll fight a boss character. Pretty standard stuff. Unfortunately when I first started playing this, I didn’t know that you had to collect 100% of the special stars in order to see the game’s true ending, so I didn’t bother with them. Oops.

The main complaint people have about this game, and one that I share, is how difficult it is to line up your character for even the most standard jumps. I jumped to my death an uncountable number of times in this game. Of course you can use the tried and true method of lining up your shadow over where you want to land, but that trick doesn’t really work too well in this game, especially considering that you may not even be jumping where you want to jump, period. I can’t tell you how many times I lined myself up for what looked like a routine jump, took a running start, jumped in the air, watched for my shadow… only to have it not appear and for my character to fall to his death next to the platform I was trying to jump on. Wut?

If you’ve read my reviews, you should know I’m not one to bicker about poor controls or bad camera angles, as long as the game is still fun to play. Spot Goes to Hollywood severely put this to the test. I was getting SO mad at this game, to the point where it took me several playing sessions to beat it because I kept turning it off out of frustration. You can’t even tell me “get good, loser” because I tried my absolute best to make this work. This game just has absolute shit controls, no way around it.


 


Graphics:

I may not have been too thrilled about this title’s gameplay, but there is no denying that it looks really good. Bright colors, detailed and crystal clear stages that look like they were plucked straight out of a Saturday morning cartoon, cleverly created characters. I love the stage themes too. Good stuff! Definitely couldn’t have been done on a 16-bit console. I looked up the Genesis version of this game and it looks terrible, so at least this version has awesome graphics going for it!




Sound:

This is another thing I can’t really hold against the game itself since I am pretty sure it is a RetroPie issue, but the game’s stages didn’t have any music. The sound effects were there. There was music during the FMV sequences. But nothing during the actual stages. Very odd. I didn’t even notice it until I had already completed about two or three stages, and then I was like “wait a minute, doesn’t this game have any music?” I looked it up online, and yes this game has music. In fact, it is one of the few things about this game that reviewers have said positive things about. I’m just going to give it the benefit of a doubt here and give the sound department a thumbs up. I liked what I heard, even though I didn’t hear it all.




Overall:

This is a toughie for me. As you can probably tell from what I have written so far, I wasn’t a giant fan of this game. But the game isn’t horrible either. If this was the 90s and I had this game for my PS1, I probably would have played the daylights out of it, and enjoyed every second of it. But the video gaming landscape was completely different back then. Playing this game in present day, it is rough. Real rough.

I got *some* enjoyment out of this game, but for the most part I was not impressed. After I had gotten through a few stages and realized that what I saw was going to be what I got for the rest of the game, it just became a matter of going through the motions so I could beat this game and move on to something else. I can’t recommend this game to anyone else, and I highly doubt I’ll come back and play it again – even to get the secret stars so I could see the real ending. Just not worth my time. Or yours. 


Final Score:
D




If you liked this review, check out some of my other reviews:


Tuesday, December 14, 2021

Video Game Review #319: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - Complete Edition

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - Complete Edition
PlayStation 4



Nostalgia Factor:

The Witcher 3 came out in 2015, a little over six years ago. In the years that have passed since its release, I have heard nothing but universal praise for this game. I’ve even seen it ranked as high as number one on several gaming websites’ best games of all time lists. Obviously I was interested in playing this game, but from what I had heard it was a massive time commitment – something I was never quite ready for at the time. I kept putting it off and putting off before I finally bit the bullet here in 2021.

I’m late to the party, yes, but what would my thoughts be on The Witcher 3? Would it live up to the tremendous hype? Let’s find out!




Story:

There’s just so much to unpack here. I’m going to try to keep it simple and only touch on the major plot points of the game. But we’ll see how that goes.

I’ll preface this by saying you don’t necessarily have to have played the other Witcher games before playing this one. I’m sure it’s helpful, as there are many characters who appear that I assume you are supposed to “know” from games’ past. But I personally have not played any of the other Witcher games and it did not affect my enjoyment of this title one tiny bit. I did see the first season of the TV show on Netflix, however, so I didn’t necessarily come into this game completely blind.

What I knew from the show coming in was that Geralt is a Witcher – an enhanced human being who was taken as a child and turned into a monster hunting machine. The show tells the origin of things that you’ll see in this game, such as the Nilfgaard War, where Yennefer came from, and what Geralt’s nickname the Butcher of Blaviken means. It also sets up the world of the game beautifully, giving you a glimpse of its creatures, its people, and its lore. What I mainly got from the TV show was the importance of the bond between Geralt and Ciri – a young girl with strong magical powers that is basically set up as a “daughter figure” to Geralt. I’ve only seen season one of this show, and as of the time of this review, season two hasn’t come out yet (it’s slated to hit on December 17th, two days from now. You bet I’m going to be all over that shit!). So that was the extent of my Witcher knowledge coming into this game.

Witcher 3: Wild Hunt takes place several years after what I presume will be the end of the show. Ciri is no longer a small girl. She is a young woman who has trained with Geralt in the ways of becoming a Witcher (although she has not technically joined their ranks). Ciri has been absent for a while now, whereabouts unknown. Geralt is tasked by her father with tracking her down and bringing her back home. Thus begins your quest.

Ciri was last spotted in three possible locations. You can visit these locations in any order you want (I think?) but the game kind of nudges you to handle them in order of lowest difficulty area to the highest. Each area you visit you pick up on Ciri’s trail, following little bread crumbs that point you in the right direction. In several spots you even play as Ciri as the game shows you what she was up to while she was missing.

There’s much, much more to this game’s storyline but the basic premise is that you spend the majority of the game looking for Ciri – who you discover is on the run from something called The Wild Hunt. As you dig deeper, you find out that the Wild Hunt is a band of elf-like creatures from a parallel dimension that are trying to kidnap Ciri because she is the only one with the power to save their world from annihilation. And they will stop at NOTHING to capture her.

Geralt eventually locates Ciri (about 70 plus hours into the game) and the two come up with a plan to lure the leader of the Wild Hunt into a trap and kill him in his minions in one giant, epic battle. They succeed.

Now, the way you play this game has a direct effect on the ending you’ll receive. Who lives, who dies, what ultimately happens to both Geralt and Ciri. I’m not going to spoil anything, but luckily I think I got the “good” ending – or one of them at least.

Again, this is just a very basic outline of this game’s story. As you play you will meet many characters, tackle many quests, get into some romances, make big decisions, and get completely side tracked from your mission to find Ciri. I would be writing for six more hours if I got into every single nugget of story-related info I have on the game, so I will spare you those details. But suffice it to say, this is an incredibly fleshed out world that has an amazing and deep lore to it. As you play you uncover history books where you can read all you would ever want to know about the history of The Witcher. Personally, this game was long enough that I didn’t bother to read all of that stuff, but the option is there if you are so inclined.



 
Gameplay:

All right. The meat and potatoes of The Witcher 3: its gameplay.

Despite all the things I had read about this game coming in, I still didn’t know much about its gameplay. When I first started playing it, my initial impression was that the controls, combat, and overall maneuverability of Geralt were similar to what I experienced with Aloy in Horizon Zero Dawn. The quests, the world of the game, the choices: they were more like Fallout or Skyrim. Even after completing the game I feel safe saying that these comparisons are fair, regardless of which game came out first or which one borrowed from which one.

Just like with its storyline, I could sit here for hours and hours dissecting the intricacies of the Witcher’s gameplay. But I am not going to do that. Instead I will talk about the basics. You control Geralt using the left joystick. Geralt can walk, jump, run, and climb on things. Geralt has several “signs” he can cast from – which act as this game’s magic. Some of these signs include a fire attack, an energy shield for Geralt, or a Fus Ro Dah-type force push move. There is no MP in this game. Instead, there is a meter on the top left of the screen that controls how often you can use these signs. You have to wait for the meter to fill back up naturally, which means you can’t just spam the same fire attack over and over again. This meter is also your stamina meter. You can run in this game, but it drains your stamina meter pretty quickly. You’ll find yourself letting go of the run button every once in a while to give Geralt a breather. Because your signs and your stamina share the same meter, this means you can’t come charging into battle at full sprint and expect to be able to use a sign right away.

Combat is pretty simple. You have both a strong and a weak melee attack. If you‘ve played literally any other games in this genre, you’ll immediately know that the strong attack is slow and the weaker attack is fast. Using different button combinations you can unleash combo attacks on your enemies. The classic weak weak strong attack combo rears its head yet again in the Witcher 3, and I took full advantage. Battles in this game aren’t too challenging. Mix up your attacks by casting some signs. You can roll out of harm’s way. You can block and counter enemy attacks if you time things right. Rarely did I encounter a fight that was too difficult to win, but it did happen. I’d just come back and try again after handling some other quests and leveling up a bit.

One thing I will complain about with The Witcher 3 is that it is yet another one of those games that allows you to become overburdened with items. I’m one of those people that just grabs everything in sight, and it bugs me to no end when games install these artificial weight limits that prevent your character from moving or severely limit their mobility when they are carrying too much stuff. I was always having to stop and empty my pockets in the middle of the road. It was not an uncommon occurrence to see me running to the nearest vendor to sell things after each and every mission I’d complete. Inventory management became half the battle in this game.

More complaining: your weapons and armor take damage as you use them. Having to visit blacksmiths to repair my equipment all the time started to get old fast, not gonna lie. I also don’t like how expansive the inventory system is. Crafting? Alchemy? I don’t have time for all that shit. Nor do I have time to read in-game history books. Or play that freaking card game, Gwent. I gave it a shot towards the beginning of  the game but got my ass handed to me and never played again, unless I absolutely had to in order to advance a mission. Me and video game card games (cough, Final Fantasy IX, cough cough) don’t go well together.

I guess while I’m complaining I’ll just keep the ball rolling. Geralt’s mobility is not the best. I can’t tell you how many times I’d be walking along and get “caught up” on the edge of something, like a bush or a fence post, and not be able to move. This happens ALL THE FREAKING TIME. It’s even worse when you are on your horse, Roach. I swear it is faster to just run from location to location rather than using your horse, because that thing is ALWAYS getting hung up on a rock or a tree or a slight drop in the land. You even so much as bump anything and the horse completely stops and starts neighing at you. So annoying. And then it takes forever to start going at full speed again. Oh, I didn’t even mention that every time you call your horse, it comes running from the opposite direction in which you’re going. So if I want to go south and I’m running south, the horse will appear behind me – making me have to turn around, run the opposite direction, get on the horse, and then start kicking it in the right direction. Again: very annoying. Why can’t the horse just run up to you after you call it, and you hop on it seamlessly in the direction you need to go – like other games like this? Roach is not getting a Christmas card from me.

I can’t complain about your characters’ mobility without complaining about how Geralt acts in battle. He draws his sword and he kind of hunches over. Whatever. He’s in battle: he’s got to be ready to strike! But many of the other button commands suddenly get remapped. If you’re stuck behind something or want to jump up onto a ledge, well guess what? The circle button doesn’t jump anymore. It rolls Geralt away from your enemy. That’s right, as soon as you enter into a battle you can’t jump on anything anymore. If you’re stuck behind an obstacle you won’t be able to simply hop over it when you’re in battle. It happened to me a few times where enemies would attack when I was in a corner, with a tree branch or something in front of me. I’d be stuck in that corner since I couldn’t hop over the tree branch to start fighting my enemies who were  RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE of the freaking branch. It’s amazing to me how many ways there are to get stuck in the middle of battle, especially considering how dynamic the landscape of the game is. My favorite thing is when I was stuck in a ravine with enemies above me. Geralt goes into combat mode. But can I climb the ravine to attack the enemies right above me? No.

Trying to run from battles is an adventure, too. Geralt always wants to face his enemies, so if you are running away he will keep turning around over and over again to try and fight them. No, Geralt, you dumb shit! Can’t you see I’m trying to run from this fight???

The complaints keep coming. I’m just going to get them all out now. The loading times! My god, this game has to have the worst loading time of any game I have played in my life. I guess the wait when starting the game up isn’t too bad considering the size of this game. Even using fast travel is a wait that I expect when it comes to a game of this genre. But the loading times after you die… ugh. We’re talking two to three minutes here. And you die a lot in this game, too. Especially considering how much of a pansy Geralt is when it comes to falling long distances. In most video games you can accidentally walk off the side of a cliff or a rock staircase and survive the fall long enough to get back up to where you were going again. Not here. You can’t even leap out of a second story window to the ground below to save time. You’ll die – and then it’s three minutes of loading screens for you! I lost track of how many times I died falling from distances you could easily survive in other games. So, so annoying.

Am I done complaining yet? No. The characters talk too much. Just point me in the direction of a monster and let me go after it. I don’t need these long winded ten minute conversations telling me everyone’s back story. You read faster than you talk, so I’d often skim through these long conversations, reading the text on the bottom of the screen and cutting the character off before he or she was even allowed to speak. The downside to this is that I’d often skip over entire cutscenes because I’d just want to skip someone saying “okay I’ll do that”. If that’s the last thing they say and there’s a cutscene after your conversation, you skipping their words will skip the cutscene. Again: very annoying. So much annoying about this game.

I’m still not finished complaining. The quests are repetitive as fuck. There are only so many times I can investigate a crime scene with my Witcher senses and follow the footprints to find the culprit of the crime. Character behavior is predictable too. You can’t do anything in this game without getting sent on endless fetch quests. I need to talk to the village shaman, who was the last person to see Ciri? Oh, it may sound simple enough, but rest assured when you get there he is going to send you on a complex, multi-step mission you have to complete before he will tell you anything. That’s how the entire game works. Any time you are sent to talk to anyone, you can be guaranteed that they’re going to have a mission for you to complete before they’ll spill the beans. Sometimes when you are doing missions for people you even get stuck doing missions within that mission because whoever you are sent to deal with won’t comply with you either unless you do something for them. It’s a cycle that seemingly never ends. 

Now am I done complaining ? I can’t think of anything further to bitch about so I guess so. Where were we? Ah yes, I haven’t even explained the basic flow of the game yet.

You begin the game with one main quest in your pause menu: find Ciri. As you start playing, you’ll quickly pick up other quests you can work on. You can take monster hunting quests off of notice boards, you can talk to people to take on individual quests for them, you can trigger quests on your main map by just wandering around and stumbling across something interesting. Before you know it you’ll have dozens of active quests in your pause menu that you can work on – and in any order you’d like.

The world of this game is freaking huge. And I mean huge. I’ve played other games like this before, but I can’t say with any certainty that the worlds of those games are as big as this one. As you play it is impossible to ignore the rich lore and world-building of this game. While it may seem on the surface like you’re playing “just another” open world game with lots of quests and things to do on the map, The Witcher 3 is so much more than that. That’s why even with all my complaints and nitpicking I still hold this game in high regard. There’s always something to see and do. Even putting aside quests and just exploring is something I’d do every so often. I’ve heard of people who turn off quest notifications and just wander the land in no particular direction, creating their own story as they go. If I ever play this game again, that is how I want to play this game.


 

Graphics:

The game is a beauty to look at. For some reason I didn’t expect it to look as good as it did when I first started playing it. Maybe because of the game’s age? It doesn’t seem like it is over six years old. The characters look great, the landscapes are breathtaking, and the world is just so incredibly fleshed out, filled with a countless number of details and small touches. Considering the size of this game, it must have taken years and years to complete. The amount of real estate you cover is like the size of freaking Texas. It’s so big. You’ve got cities, swamps, forests, caves, mountains, rivers, lakes. You see it, you can probably explore it. I’m beyond impressed by both the graphics and the scope of the game.




Sound:

This game amazes me with its sound, too. The voice acting is tremendous. Like I said before, my only Witcher experience before this was the TV show. I expected to struggle with the fact that Geralt in this game isn’t Henry Cavill, but to be honest this Geralt is much better. That voice, that emotion. It’s terrific. The supporting cast sounds great too. Considering how big this game is and how many hours and hours of dialogue must have been recorded for it only makes this title even more impressive.

The music is great. The sound effects really bring the world of the game to life. The roar of busy city streets, the quiet conversation in a local bar, the birds chirping as you ride your horse through the open field. Completely immersive and incredible. Nothing to complain about here. Nothing!




Overall:

So what useful information have we been able to parse from this review so far? The loading times are long. There are too many long-winded characters. Too many conversations that go on forever. The quests are repetitive. Geralt can’t survive minor falls. The horse is a real piece of shit. There are a lot of annoying gameplay quirks that drove me up the wall sometimes. Yada yada yada.

Complaints aside, this is a tremendous game. The scope of it is just incredible. A giant world, tons of locations to visit. Gorgeous visuals, a really engrossing environment that sucks you in. Memorable characters. A fun plot. So many thing to see and do and discover. As much as I like to complain about this game’s faults, it is a great game. I couldn’t put it down half the time I was playing it. I always wanted to complete just one more quest or uncover just one more question mark on the map.

That said, there were times the game felt like a chore to play, especially when you’d start working on a group of missions that you didn’t have any particular interest in. The whole “tracking down Dandelion” in Novigrad part of the game was just brutal for me to slog through. The game hits low points every so often. You just have to power through these parts while knowing that the reward will be well worth it.

And that's why I can't give this game an A+. That score is reserved for what I consider to be "perfect" games that are fun from start to finish. Super Mario Bros. is a game that received an A+. Herein lies another flaw in my review system.

You can't tell me that a game that had so much time and effort put into it, like the Witcher, isn't better than Super Mario Bros. with its simple gameplay and its outdated graphics and its tinny music and its short length. The Witcher 3 takes you hundreds of hours to complete. It has beautiful graphics, where each blade of grass seems like its given personal attention. Where the waves crash against the shore as you can stop to watch the sunset. There are hundreds of hours of recorded dialogue, hundreds of quests to take on, a map that could take you days to fully explore on foot. There's weather. A day and night cycle. People in towns that you can interact with. The Witcher 3 when compared to a game like Super Mario Bros. is like an absolute titan juggernaut demigod looking down on the smallest of ants.

But Super Mario Bros. gets the better review score? Yeah brah. That's just how it goes. When you play Super Mario Bros., you play something that you have fun with nearly 100% of the way through. In the Witcher 3, you have fun maybe, um, 60% of the time you're playing? When you're not running from location to location, sitting through long loading screens, getting stuck in mind numbingly boring conversations that seem like they will never end.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The Witcher 3 is more than just a good game. It's a great game. It's an epic game. It's a game everyone who considers themselves a gamer needs to play immediately.

But it's not a perfect game.

Final Score:
A






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