Video Game Review: Golden Axe

Golden Axe

Sega Genesis

This game brings back a lot of memories. The first time I ever played this game, it was in the arcade. I was at the Wisconsin State Fair. Instead of walking around, going on rides, eating fun food on a stick or socializing, I pumped all of my money into Golden Axe. The big buttons, the joystick, the loud music. The random kids who would join my game and then lose their lives only to be replaced by other random kids. But I was the constant. The first one there to start the game from the beginning. And the last one standing. I remember beating the game and having a great time.

Time passed and eventually I was able to rent this game for the Sega Genesis. I don't remember much about my time with it on the home console, but I can recall thinking that it wasn't as fun as the arcade. No surprise, right? In the arcade the graphics are better. Plus you had the whole social aspect of being watched or playing the game with other people.

Before popping this game in for the Sonic's Ultimate Genesis collection on the PS3, I looked back on Golden Axe fondly. The arcade version, the home version. It was fun.

Riding the dragons was my favorite part of the game, although I always seemed to get hit and lose them almost immediately. I remembered there were 3 characters you could pick from. The strongman, the female warrior, and the dwarf. When I was young I think I played as the dwarf, because - come on! He's a dwarf. That is awesome. Especially for a kid. But beyond the basic format of the game, the dragons, and the characters, a lot of the details of the game escaped me.

This is a TMNT/Final Fight style side scrolling beat em up. You move left to right, you can go up and down, and basically you beat the shit out of your enemies. Nothing new there, except for the medieval/fantasy setting. You could play as the aforementioned 3 characters, each with his or her own unique strengths. The strong man is the most well rounded. He is tough and has the longest reach. The female warrior is faster and more agile, but weaker. The dwarf is powerful and strong, but has such a short reach. Each character handles magic in a different way as well. So really each time you play the game, you could conceivably have a unique experience based on who you chose to play as.

There is a story line to this game, but it is relatively weak. Back in the day, games were more about the actual game play than the story, and Golden Axe was no exception. Basically there is some powerful bad guy named Death Adder who is killing people and doing a lot of bad things. And it is your quest to stop him.

The basics of the game are simple. You start out with a small amount of magic. The magic can be used in times of crisis or in boss fights. It bales you out if you are getting hurt and does massive amounts of damage to all the enemies on the screen. As the levels progress, you can pick up magic bottles to make your magic attack more powerful. You can stockpile magic to unleash a stronger attack, or you can use magic more frequently but it is weaker each time you use it.

As mentioned, each character has a unique strength level and unique weapons with their own varying degrees of length. Unlike other games of this genre, you can't pick up extra weapons to deal damage to your foes. No, no. The way Golden Axe handles this is much cooler than your average game. Every once in a while you will fight a dragon riding enemy. If you knock the enemy off the dragon, you can commandeer said dragon and use him yourself. Some dragons are cooler than others. There is one who whips with his tail, which I don't like as much. Others spit fire. If you get hit once while on the dragon, you fly off and the enemies can hop on the dragon and use it against you. Of course, you can reclaim the dragon. If you get knocked off it 3 times, however, it runs off and is gone for good. This happened to me more than I would like to admit. It's a cool gimmick and I kick myself for wasting it every time I got the chance to use it.

So you have your basic attacks. You have your dragons and your magic. What else sets this game apart? The whole theme and setting of the game is worth the price of admission. The awesome fantasy world seems very deep and alive. You've got your typical forests and castles, but you also have cool looking dungeons, high caverns with dangerous falls, and even a village built on the shell of a giant turtle. Enemies consist of armored spiky looking dudes, skeletons, dragon riding dominatrixes, and giant brutes. In between levels, your character camps out for the night and is able to steal potions and health items from these pesky little thief guys that try to sneak in and steal your shit. These bonus stages are no challenge whatsoever, but they add character to the game. And its good to get free stuff. Which you will need.

The AI in the game is maddening at times. Without fail, whenever you fight more than one enemy at a time, they will flank you from both sides. I had to resort to cheap tactics to win, like spamming the same jump attack and shoulder slam over and over again to knock the enemies away. If you try to engage each enemy in hand to hand traditional combat, you are going to get pummeled from behind. This is a fact. The sooner you pick up on this, the better you will do. I had to turn health up to 5 bars rather than the traditional 3. I usually like to leave things on default, but I definitely needed the extra health since this is a challenging game.

Nowadays the game may not look like much, but to me it withstands the test of time. If it is ugly it fails. But this is not ugly. It's not overly pixelated. The detail level is nice. It looks decent actually. Sure it is old, but that doesn't always have to be a bad thing. It has charm.

One part in the game I like is when two of these barbarian looking enemies bust out of a door labeled Deb. I am a fan of Debb Eaton from Survivor, who is the legendary queen of anal beads. It always makes me chuckle and think of her when I see it. Google it and you will see what I am talking about. If not, then this will forever remain an inside joke.

Golden Axe isn't that long, but that's okay. Playing with another player is a lot of fun. My pal Jeff and I had a pretty good time playing the game together - although admittedly we sucked and didn't make it to the end. I think we made it to level 6 (there are 8 total levels).

I was able to finish the game in single player though. I had a good time with the game and had no issues with it.... until I reached the final boss. Words can't describe how much I hate this fight. I have played a lot of games and this may very well be the most unfair, overly difficult, RIDICULOUS final battle I have ever encountered.

I can't remember if I beat Golden Axe while playing on the Genesis as a kid. Even playing on the PS3 where I can save right before the boss battle I had a hell of a time finishing the game. We are talking chuck your controller through the TV level of difficulty. I screamed, I shouted, I swore. I pissed off my wife and scared the cat out of the room. I wanted to give up but I powered through it until the 50th attempt where I somehow finished him off on my last bar of health. I can simply not fathom beating this game on the Genesis when you have to start over from the beginning of the whole game each time you run out of continues.

It is absurd. I can't recall being more frustrated by a moment in a video game. Fuck whoever thought this unfair shit was a good idea. You have a giant boss who can take off 1 or 2 full health bars with one swing of his weapon. Not only that, but he also shoots electricity at you. And not only that, but every time he hits you he summons a magical attack that you can't dodge and takes even MORE health from you. All the time while you are fighting him, you have to deal with 2 immortal skeletons that you can't destroy. Attack the boss, and they will hit you from behind. You can barely get a hit in without losing half your life. It is maddening. I made it to him with 4 lives total left and it took me forever to get this.

But somehow I managed. I wanted to smash the game in half, throw things around the room, and destroy my controllers, but at least I had that much restraint to not do so. I was fuming and throwing a tantrum though, not gonna lie. But beating the game filled me with a strong sense of accomplishment. The ending sequence is okay, and then before the credits they tell you the name and stats of each character. I couldn't help but have a chuckle when I saw that under "belongings" for the Blue Thief, it says pot. Heh.

So when coming up with a grade for this, I struggle a little. It is a good game. I have nice memories of it. But that final boss really killed almost all of the enjoyment for me. I probably would have rated it in the B range if it weren't for that last battle. But just for that, I am saying screw you Golden Axe and dropping it to a C.

If you played this game when you were younger, pick it up. It is a nice trip down memory lane. If you are younger you may want to skip it with so many great games out there, but still you could do a lot worse than this. If you have the Sonic Genesis Collection for the PS3, then for sure give it a play. It is a fun time with friends, especially. And don't forget to get on those dragons!

Overall:

C

Video Game Review: Tomb Raider Legend

Tomb Raider Legend

PlayStation 2

The original Tomb Raider formula produced a lot of great games, but after a while people started to complain that they were too similar and that the series needed a change. I for one liked the old Tomb Raider games and played them religiously (well, except for The Last Revelation, because fuck that game). But unlike a lot of people, I think change is good. And I looked forward to seeing how they would shake things up with Tomb Raider Legend.

A fair comparison to this game when it first came out would have been Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Nowadays, this game brings to mind Uncharted. Gone are the "grid" layouts of the levels from the older games. Lara controls much, much better than she used to. You don't have to be as precise with your movements and the timing of your jumps. She hangs, swings, moves fluidly from ledge to ledge, hangs on to things automatically. She also has a nifty grappling hook she can use to swing over chasms and pull objects closer to her. After the sometimes brutal difficulty of the older games, a lot of which had to do simply with the control system, Lara suddenly became a lot easier to handle. 

The series needed a change. In retrospect, they couldn't have continued on with the formula of the old titles. Lara needed to get with the times. I played this game when it had originally came out, and I thought it was terrific. It had upgraded one of my favorite games and had kind of given the world a glimpse as to the full realized vision of Tomb Raider.

I was so swept up by the game that I didn't see its glaring flaws. Compared to the older Tomb Raider games, it is laughably easy. The puzzles require little to no thought at all. I never got stuck while playing, never had to search online for what I was supposed to do next. Despite the control upgrade, the battle system remained the same. You pulled out your guns, they locked on to the enemies, and you held down the fire button. You can basically just stand there and blast away at your enemies and come through the battle intact. And the game is SHORT. Like, really really short. Anyone could easily beat this game in 6 or 7 hours. Which for a Tomb Raider game is like the blink of an eye.

So. We have established that when Tomb Raider Legend came out I thought the game was terrific. I didn't see any of those flaws. It is only in present day that I took issue with the game. When I first played Legend (it came out in 2007) I beat the game and never picked it up again. I was content that I would come back and play it again at some point. I usually will play a game at least twice before I pack it away or sell it off. But due to a dearth of gaming options, I never got around to Legend again.

Until now. 2015: 8 years after I had played it last. 

I should add that I played this on the Tomb Raider HD Collection for the PS3. I mention this every time I review a game that is re-released. When it is basically a graphical update with no significant changes, I will credit the review to the original version of the game. Unless the game is significantly different. But for TR: Legend, I deemed that the game is too similar to the original to consider it a PS3 title. So basically I am reviewing the PS2 version. OK, now that that is out of the way, we can proceed.

The game holds up... kind of. It's a fun game, don't get me wrong. But after having just played Uncharted 2, there is no way this game can compare. It is too easy. It's ridiculously short. The graphics are way behind the times (although I won't go and say they are ugly; they are not. They are just not as lush and detailed as we are used to these days). And the storyline doesn't interest me at all. I completely zoned out during some of the early cut scenes and lost track of what was going on. Something about Lara pursuing the lost sword of Excalibur, and of course racing against a bunch of evil doers who want to get it before her and manipulate its power. But I stopped caring after a while.

It seems like all I am doing here is complain. I will say that for the most part I had fun playing it. It's not an all time great but if you just play it for what it is, you might like it. The levels are all pretty varied and diverse. The graphics aren't Uncharted, but they are decent. The atmospheric feel of the game is pretty nice. And who knows - maybe someone who can actually pay attention when people are talking might like the story. There are hidden collectibles to find left and right. I don't remember much about the original version of the game, but on the PS3 they offer trophies as incentive for going through and beating the game on Hard, playing through the time trials, unlocking all the outfits, and finding all the goodies. So while the game is short, there is replay value here.

Basic gameplay consists of running through levels, shooting baddies, and jumping from ledge to ledge making your way to the end of the level. You can collect stuff if you choose, but its not necessary. You pick up extra weapons. Nothing too exciting. Just shotguns and machine guns and the usual fair. Oh and you can pick up grenades too. But I kept forgetting about them and I think I didn't use one to take out an enemy the entire game. At the end of each stage there is either a group of enemies you must take out, or a traditional boss that you must defeat using either your guns or the environment around you. I did enjoy the boss battles in this game. 

And who doesn't like quick time events?

*looks around*

To keep you on your toes, the game throws one in there every once in a while during a cut scene. Nothing too complex or challenging. Just enough to make you feel like part of the action when normally you'd be watching from the sidelines.

Overall, I enjoyed the game. I wasn't nuts about it, but it was all right. I just couldn't get it out of my mind that I was playing a poor man's Uncharted (although this came out before Uncharted, so I know it is an unfair comparison). But all comparisons to that other series aside, this was fun. I liked it a lot more when it originally came out. It was fresh, exciting, and a fun new direction for the Tomb Raider series. Now, the series has been rebooted a second time (with the simply titled Tomb Raider for the current/last generation systems) and it feels a little dusty. 

I have to look at it in perspective though. Yes, it is an older game. Did I have fun? Yes. Did I ever at any point chuck my controller at the wall and curse the game designers for making such a heaping pile of crap? Nope. Did I ever dread popping this in and playing it when I had nothing else to do? Nope. I had a decent time. This game is short and likely not very memorable at all. I will never look back at this and think "wow that Tomb Raider Legend was so awesome". So it is definitely not a classic.

But a fun waste of 6 or 7 hours if you are a fan of the genre? For sure. And it will last even longer if you want to unlock everything the game has to offer. Which I am still undecided if I want to do or not.

Overall

C+

Funny Cable Tape (2)

OK like I mentioned before, I have a huge amount of VHS tapes sitting around my house. The last several years I have been going through each one and writing down what is on each tape. This is #2 out of.... what? 50 something? There are a lot of Cops episodes, along with the shows I'm With Busey and MXC. This is also the tape where I have the news footage of Lake Bluff Station (where I used to work) getting robbed. Enjoy.

(00:00:00)

Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (which will from now on be referred to as MXC). This is a game show where a bunch of crazy Asian folks run through obstacle courses and engage in other silly competitions against one another. Most of the competitions are failed. And in a painful manner. The players are usually split into two groups. For example, in this episode, High Tech vs Civil Service is the theme. The announcers for this show are dubbed over American voices that make nonsensical jokes and comments about the players as they get the crap beaten out of them. And they give them funny names. So yeah, this show is right up my alley. This isn't the full episode, just a few broken up clips of it.
 - Dope on a Rope is the name of the first segment. Contestants swing from a rope and try to land on a small ledge over the water. Most of the contestants fail.
*during the commercials, it cuts over to a clip of Reno 911 where the cops are arresting some guy sitting in his backyard while watering his lawn with a hose*
 - The contestants sumo wrestle. Circle Jerk, I think this segment is called.
*back to Reno 911 during the commercials. Trudy pulls over a car, but it gets away because she didn't put her vehicle in park. The tape then cuts to a small clip of baby tigers nursing on Animal Planet. How cute.*
 - Contestants rush across a series of rotating boards. Hank the Happy Hemorrhoid! Rarge and in charge.
*Reno 911 during the ads again. So much skipping around! One of the cops arrests a cross dressing tattooed Jew with a wig. I imagine this is a lot more common than it sounds.*
 - Brass Balls. Players run across a bridge while balls are fired at them with a cannon to knock them down.

(14:05)

I'm With Busey. This is a reality show about Gary Busey. It should have lasted a lot longer. This show is amazing! Gary Busey is so damn crazy, it's awesome. In this episode, Gary tries to get his sidekick Adam to overcome all his irrational fears. Here's how:
 - Gary takes Adam into the woods and plays bike chicken with him.
*in the commercials we cut to some clips of MXC. Travel vs Circus Industry. The first part, the players dress as giant birds and try to drop eggs into a nest while swinging from a rope*
 - Gary threatens Adam with a knife.
*back to MXC during the ads. Contestants must roll on a surfboard and not fall over the edge of a ledge*
 - Gary tries to get Adam to freeze him in ice.
 - Adam and Gary play out a fake death scene to help Adam overcome his fear of death.
  *MXC, again. Players hang from a giant cob of corn, and try to let go and land on a platform in the water. The tape sharply cuts to a Howard Stern interview where they ask crude questions to some tall old guy at an awards ceremony*
 - Back we go to Busey. Yeah, the early part of this tape jumps around a lot, I know. Luckily this doesn't happen much on upcoming tapes.
 - Busey takes Adam to a destruction derby and forces him to participate. "This is fun."

Crank Yankers. This is a show where crank telephone calls are acted out by puppets on screen, depicting both sides of the conversation.
 - A blind lady tries to get a job at a strip club. But the catch is that they have to allow her to bring in her seeing eye dog. The picture is very shaky during the next two clips.
 - A man named Niles calls a painter and tries to get him to paint a nude picture of himself.
 - Special Ed prank calls an old man and calls him a lady and makes fun of him.

(41:14)

Reno 911. These are just a few small clips of the show, The tape is very shaky here too. Trudy meets a dork who she is romantically interested in. Officers toy with a corpse at the morgue. Hey, A Silence of the Lambs joke is made! A prostitution sting backfires. Officers teach gun control at a school.

(54:18)

I'm With Busey. Lessons from life episode. The tape continues to shake.
 - Gary throws a book down a hill. "We're past college right now!"
 - Gary talks to college kids at a coffee shop and tells them that the best way to learn is to put aside their books and get out there and learn
 - Adam and Gary take tests to determine if they have any psychic abilitiy
 - Adam and Gary cook breakfast at a diner and fail miserably
 - They play football too
 - More Busey ramblings before he goes back to college at the end for a party

(1:15:16)

Clip from Animal Planet of a little koala bear. They finger its butt. Ewww.

Random clip of some TBS show. In it, two woman participate in an Alaskan nose pull. Look this up if you don't know what it is o.O

MXC. This is only, like, half an episode. This is an early tape. These little clips of episodes suck, I know. I have actual complete episodes on the tapes to come. Anyway, this is the Cops vs Cons episode.
 - Giant Roulette wheel
 - Legal Maze
 - Blind Tug of War through a wall

(1:25:27)

Crank Yankers
 - Man calls a scientist claiming that he was kidnapped by aliens.
 - Woman calls a perfume counter to complain that she has developed a vaginal rash caused by perfume that was sprayed on her

Jackass.
 - Man runs around the city in a gorilla suit and dances
 - Extremely fat man chases a small midget through a busy city
 - The guys build a slingshot that is supposed to launch people into a pond, but it doesn't really work

Reno 911. The tape once again gets shaky just for this show. Musta been the way I recorded it.
 - Colored People Time (CPT)
 - Weigel tries to kill herself
 - Two officers (the black lady and the white guy with the 'stache) go undercover at a party
 - Weigel shoots a man robbing a store, before admitting that she didn't really try to kill herself

(1:50:03)

Random clip from the beginning of an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Data looks frazzled.

Stand Up comedy on Comedy Central. Rich Voss tells some jokes. This guy was on Last Comic Standing.

I'm With Busey. The trust episode. Gary wants Adam to trust him more.
 - Adam and Gary go to a psychologist
 - Gary asks Adam to take 300 dollars out of an "ATF" machine. Gary then takes the money and gives it away to random strangers
 - Adam climbs up to an eagle perch and jumps off. Screaming Eagle!
 - Adam admits he stole his friend Sean Lennon's shoes as a kid. Gary then gives away this secret and causes Adam's friends to get mad at him. Busey acts really silly in the diner while doing all this. It's hilarious!
 - Gary and Adam go on a road trip and get a flat tire

(2:11:20)

The Man Show. Joe Rogan plays a TV psychic who tells secrets about people in the audience.

Conan O'Brien show - funny Andy Richter clips.

Reno: 911.
 - Deputy Johnson becomes engaged to a white trash criminal guy
 - Cops come to the door of a hotel room and arrest a man who's filming a porn with himself and a blowup doll. He's crazy and oiled up.
 - The officers play a song for school children. "Don't Mess with Meth, Beth."
 - There is a bachelor party, and one of the cops is a male stripper
*during the commercials we cut to a Triumph the Insult Comic Dog special. Highlights are shown from when he asked questions to people in line at a premiere for one of the Star Wars movies. Also, there are highlights from when he was at the Westminster Dog Show. He humps the legs of many dogs at the show*
 - The wedding happens and then the episode ends.

(2:36:53)

MXC. USA vs World Team. A full episode for once!
 - Sinkers and Floaters. Players must run across a series of rocks in the water. Some of the rocks are solid, and some are "fake" and cause anyone who tries to run across it to fall down. The stoner guy in this clip is my favorite. A different guy falls down before he even begins to run across the rocks. I should mention before we proceed any further on these tapes that each episode of MXC always has someone with the last name Babaganoosh in it somewhere. I'm going to keep a running tally of how many of them I have in tape. This segment of the show has our first Babaganoosh.  Kezemek Babaganoosh! One down, many more to go.
*during commercial, there's a clip of Jack Black acting goofy*
 - Dope on a Rope
 - Dash To Death. This is a pretty fun looking obstacle course.
 - Log Drop. Players run across a bunch of spinning logs. There are usually a lot of hard falls in this segment.

(2:52:40)

MXC. Toy and Game Makers vs Office Workers.
 - Holes of Glory
* tape cuts to Reno 911 in the commercials. Funny prostitution sting*
 - Skidmarkers
*More Reno 911 during the commercials. The blonde cop goes into a porn store and tries to get the worker to talk about pot*
 - Back to MXC for the third time.
 - Log Drop. There is a big, belching Asian lady who takes a huge fall.
 - Chum in the Mouth. Hayjee Babaganoosh is in this segment! That's 2 now.

(3:11:17)

Clip from some soap opera. A crying woman sings Iris from the Goo Goo Dolls.

Clips from the Howard Stern television show
 - Howard interviews the girls from the show VIP. So much jack material here from when I was younger.
 - Rapid fire highlights from interviews with several guests.
 - A bunch of guys take place in a contest to sleep with the porn star Houston. A black guy who can't cum during sex wins, but Houston is on her period. He has to settle for a beej. And he does finish!
 - Crackhead Bob dresses up like Elvis at Graceland, and pretends to be the long lost cousin of Elvis.
 - Hero of the Stupid: Steve Martin. Here of the Stupid is a segment where they ask rude and classless questions to celebrities to try and frazzle them.
 - Jason Alexander clip
 - Filthy 3D Joke Man tells a joke
 - Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf does a promo for the show and messes up repeatedly
 - Howard sings a parody of the song Glycerine. It's called Listerine and is about Gary's teeth.
 - Filthy 3D Joke Man again
 - Howard interviews a big girl with massive breasts who wants to be a model. She shows them. More jack material from when I was younger.
 - Hero of the Stupid: Don Cornelius
 - No one knows who Jon Stewart is
 - Nerdy dude named Mise eats bugs
 - Hero of the Stupid: Cindy and Joey Adams

(3:42:38)

Punk'd. Seth Green is set up for the blame when an illegal craps game is raided by the authorities.

Jimmy Kimmel Show - Bobcat Goldthwaite is interviewed. A fake preview for Police Academy 19 is shown.

An MPTV clip of some dude learning yoga in India

A Discovery channel clip of the marooning of Selkirk. He is haunted by trippy images of cats.

MXC. Wedding vs Trucker Industry
 - Tricycle race. Guy comes from way behind after falling down to win.
 - Brass Balls.
 - Nut Baggers. Taboule Babaganoosh is in this segment. That's three!

MXC. Hobbyists vs the Food Industry.
 - Sinkers and Floaters. Yellow Babaganoosh is one of the first few contestants. Yay at not having to wait long for him! That's four now. Apparently that's all I got of this episode, because the tape moves on to something else after the first commercial.

(4:08:26)

News footage of when Lake Bluff Station gets robbed. Little John is a TV star! K'you!

COPS
 - A man hides under a car and crawls out like an alligator. He becomes short of breath after admitting to taking drugs, and is taken off in an ambulance.
 - A man with a cap gun is arrested while sitting at a picnic table in the park. He had been threatening people at the park with that gun.
 - John sting. You know, where they arrest guys who pay hookers for sex. The first guy arrested is an old man looking for "Hokey Pokey." The second guy is a young Hispanic dude who tries to run away through the parking lot while handcuffed.

Clip from Jenny Jones. Fat black girl does a a somersault and it is showed on replay several times.

Reading Rainbow Clip - "Come Away From the Water, Shirley".

Random Sesame Street Clips, including a song about bananas

Exercise show from the 80's, highlighted by a dude with one of the best mullets ever

America's Funniest Home Videos (which will be hereby referred to as AFV). Due to the huge volume of clips they show over the course of an episode, I will only be writing down the highlights from each show.
 - Kid picks his nose and wipes the boogers on his baby brother's head
 - Little boy fills up his brother's diaper with a hose
 - Funny montage of wedding and couple clips, set to the tune of the song "Shop Around"
 - People are tricked into thinking they have won the lottery
 - Tom Bergeron looks at several clips in slo-motion. One of the clips is a lady getting hit by a pinata that is knocked off the string. Another is of a guy narrowly getting out of the way of an out of control car in the mud.
 - Funny sports clip musical montage

(4:35:39)

COPS
 - Man is arrested for trying to break into a store by knocking a hole in the wall outside
 - Police respond to a shooting call in an old abandoned building. The man had been shot while breaking into the apartment next door.
 - Pizzeria workers call the cops when they spot two people who fit the description of two people who robbed a different pizzeria. The guys are found at a nearby gas station and arrested. One has a mullet, and the other is a dude in a tie-dye shirt.

(4:49:35)

Clips of ESPN's World's Strongest Woman competition

Real TV. An old fire blower lies in bed and lights his face on fire while trying to perform his trick.

Clips from the religious channel. Jamaican guy babbles on about something or other.

VH1 special about people with missing limbs and other disabilities. The first is a guy named Doug. He is in high school and has has no legs. The second person is a girl in a wheelchair named Jennifer, who it shows catheterizing herself. Doug plays basketball in the next set of clips, and it shows him working out in gym class.
* during the commercials, we cut to an Animal Planet show with funny cat clips*
 - Back to the VH1 show. Doug goes to the prom and break dances on the dance floor.

(5:02:54)

COPS
 - Person is arrested trying to run from the cops on a motorcycle. He is tazed.
 - Woman narcs on her friend and makes a meth deal to lure him into a police trap. He is a humongous gangsta Asian dude. But he is very cooperative with the po po, so props to him for that.
 - Police pull over a man who had been trying to avoid a police roadblock. It's a black dude with dreadlocks who likes to say "Oh lordy." There's a gun in the car, but he says it is not his. The guy breaks down and cries when he's cuffed and put into the squad car.
 - A dog jumps into a man's car while he's in the gas station and won't leave. The cops are called and the dog is removed.
 - Police go into a bar and pull a man who is on a payphone outside to arrest him. Apparently he had been waving a knife around. He tries to run while handcuffed, and is thrown into the front seat of a squad car. He spits on the window while in the car, causing the police to pull his shirt up over his head. That's about it. The guy is very unruly.
 - Police respond to an auto accident on a street corner. It was a hit and run accident where a trucker hit motorcycle riders, and then took off. Victims are put into an ambulance and taken off.
 - The cops arrest a crazy, naked guy walking around on the street. He wraps foil around his privates but it falls off repeatedly. He says "you can cut it off" referring to his penis. They go into his house and it's a complete pig sty.
 - Police respond to a domestic call. A gay black man who is allowing someone to stay at his house claims that that person trashed his house. The dude he is referring to is a total crackhead and gets arrested.
 - More john stings. A dude on a Harley is the first guy caught. Nothing exciting about the second arrest.
 - Car accident! Guy with a bloody head crawls out of a demolished car. He was swiped off the road by a driver who wasn't paying attention.

Clip from a UW-Milwaukee basketball game. In the top right corner behind Bruce Pearl, you can see the bottom half of the face of a retarded guy named Michael who I used to work with at the Union.

(5:55:45)

The Dave Chappelle Show.
- Lil John is at the Doctor. Proof of insurance? Hooooo-what?
- 2004 World Series of Dice. This is where the tape starts to fuck up. It's almost over, that's why.
- Another skit, but you can't tell what's going on here because the tape gets so bad.

END OF TAPE

Video Game Review: Puppeteer

Puppeteer

PlayStation 3

This is a game that I would have probably never even heard of, let alone played, if it was not available for free on the Playstation Network for PS Plus subscribers.

Having never heard of this title, I decided to watch a short preview clip for the game to see if it was worth giving a shot. The clip had barely even begun when I decided that the answer to that question was hell yes. In that ten seconds or so of watching, I saw an old school looking platformer with a hilarious theme and gorgeous, eye popping graphics. Was this going to be the next Little Big Planet?

Firing up this game, initially I thought I was going to be in for a treat. As mentioned, the visuals are fantastic. You wonder if this is a video game or a brand new Saturday morning cartoon. The presentation of Puppeteer is top notch. This game is set up in the style of a magical puppet show taking place in front of a large audience. A narrator talks to the audience, setting up the action and letting you know what is going on. It really is pretty cool at first.

As the narrator does his thing, you start to get pumped up and ready to dive in. The narrator keeps talking. Any minute now, this is going to be awesome. And the narrator keeps talking. All right, let's do this! And on prattles the narrator.

This is something you had better get used to. If you are not at all into the story, which I was not, you are going to find yourself pausing the game and hitting the skip button an awful lot. Now, I am all for story in video games. Skipping over cut scenes and ignoring a game's story line is something I almost never do. I can sit through hours of talking in Metal Gear Solid without blinking an eye. But in a cutesy platformer game about a cartoon puppet, all of the talking and cut scenes start to drag the game down. To say that they are excessive is an understatement. It's not even a good story. It is stupid and too little-kid like for me. Maybe if I was 10 I would have liked it, but not at 32.

Once the game actually does get rolling, you are introduced to some pretty original game play mechanics. Since you are playing as a puppet, you can carry up to three heads around with you. These heads act as your life bar in the game. Get hit, you lose a head, which you can chase down and reattach. Lose all three heads, you die. The different types of heads don't really serve too much of a purpose, other than unlocking the occasional bonus stage. These bonus stages, unless you are a collectionist looking to unlock everything in the game, are completely unnecessary and useless since you have unlimited lives.

The other major game play mechanic is the use of "Calibrus", which is basically a magical pair of scissors. You don't jump on your enemies. You don't punch them, throw them, or smack them around. You cut them. Since this game is set up like a giant puppet show, things in your environment are made of paper and cardboard and are very destructible. Your scissors not only acts as your main weapon, but also a means of transportation as they can be used to propel you along as you cut various items in the background.

Through out the game, you encounter bombs, a magical chain, and other items that you can use to defeat your enemies, but for the most part you use Calibrus.

Each level, referred to in-game as a curtain, is extremely well designed and harbors many secrets. While each stage does take you on a relatively linear path, there are many things to check out and explore. Nothing is extremely crucial to helping you along your way in the game, but it is impressive that each stage has been jam packed with so much content. Don't expect to just breeze through a level, you will want to check out everything each stage has in store for you. The levels in this game are surprisingly long, and a nice change of pace from your typical side scrolling platform game.

Puppeteer offers a few variances in the typical gameplay. There are some racing levels and quick time events. Nothing too major, but a little variety is nice. To me, things that shines the most about this game are the boss battles. Each boss battle is a major event in and of its own right.

Most boss battles are epic in scale. The bosses take up the entire screen, and require a unique creative strategy to defeat. Multiple strategies, even, as each bosses changes and modifies his attacks as the fight goes on. These fights feel like major, intense grudge matches as the crowd cheers you on. Often they end with a quick time even that lets you put the finishing touches on your foe. When you are done with these fights, you feel a perverse sense of satisfaction that you took out something so much bigger than yourself.

The game has seven acts, each act with three curtains. Twenty one levels may not seem like much, but when the levels are this long and detailed, coupled with the hours and hours of cut scenes, this game feels much longer than it really is.

Great concept, beautiful graphics, cleverly designed stages and boss battles. There is a lot that this game has going for it. That being said, it is time to focus on the negative.

I have already mentioned the cut scenes. After beating the game, I still could not even tell you what the story was about, as I started skipping through the scenes before I was even into act 2. The story just did not interest me and was starting to cut into my enjoyment of the game. A platformer should not be more watching than playing. It might work for a game like Metal Gear Solid, but not here.

And although this game is very creative, as I mentioned, there is just a certain something that is lacking here. I can not quite put my finger on it, but I can try. The whole concept of the game, with the puppet show and the use of Calibrus, feels too gimmicky. Think Super Mario Sunshine with the water pack. It is still a decent game, but you have to think it could have been so much better if it didn't go out of its way to try to be unique. Unique is fine. Gimmicky is not.

I could only tolerate this game in small playing sessions, as there was always some other game out there that I would rather be playing than this one. Not to say it is a bad game. It's not. It just lacks that killer instinct, that hook that pulls you in and makes you want to keep playing and playing. Perhaps it is the gimmicky gameplay. Perhaps it is too little kid like for me. Perhaps it was because I wanted a decent story line and instead got a bunch of rambling nonsense.

Like I said, it is hard to put my finger on. I can appreciate that this is well made game. You can really tell that a lot of time and effort was put into this. Gorgeous graphics, presentation, and level design. But crappy story and gimmicky gameplay.

The closer I got to the end of the game, the more I started to like it. Perhaps it was because I knew the game was coming to an end and I wouldn't have to play it anymore. Maybe it was because the game really is fun and I didn't start to appreciate it until it was almost over. I tend to think it was a combination of the two.

If you are under the age of 15, and you like this genre of game, you will probably love Puppeteer. I, however, was spoiled by great platformers in my youth like Super Mario 3 and Castlevania. I can appreciate what this game is trying to do, but it doesn't come close to greatness for me. It can be fun, but not great.

Maybe if I hadn't been spoiled by other similar games that are better than this, and maybe if I was into the story I would have liked Puppeteer a lot more. I do think this is a game that a lot of people will enjoy. But for me, it just kind of sits in the middle somewhere. One play through was good enough for me. I will probably never pick it up again. But for free, I can't complain too much.

Overall: 

C

My Netflix rotation: a weekend in review #2

OK, so a few weekends ago I decided to watch one episode of every show in my Netflix rotation and write a few short thoughts about it for this blog. I have recently finished up with quite a few shows, and my rotation looks a lot different now. So I figured - why not do this again? I had fun the first time.

Out are: Glee, The Wonder Years, Bates Motel, Darknet, Black Mirror, Archer, Torchwood, and The Bible. I have either finished with these series completely, or am awaiting the next season to come out on Netflix.

In are Daredevil and a bunch of other shows that had previously been in the rotation, but had fallen out for some reason or another. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Trek, Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Derek, Friday Night Lights, and Doctor Who. I have also recently decided to start rewatching Breaking Bad since I enjoyed it so much the first time. So that's in the rotation too. Plus my wife and I are now watching Street Food From Around the World.

All those old shows out, all these new ones coming in. Plus there are still a multitude of other shows in the rotation that haven't changed. This should be a completely different experience than the last time I did this. Let's get started.

The first show I watched was Netflix original series Daredevil. This is an interesting show for me because of all the famous Marvel heroes out there, I know almost nothing about Daredevil. I had watched the first episode over a week ago, but had never gotten around to watching anymore. So this episode I watched tonight was episode two of the first season, entitled: Cut Man.

This episode finds Matt Murdock in his ghetto costume in a dumpster and severely injured. I didn't know what was happening, or if I had missed something that happened at the end of the last episode but I did decide to keep watching and not go back and look (I did look after the episode ended and remembered seeing him go off to assist the boy he had heard screaming for his dad).

He is taken in by a woman who helps nurse him to health in her apartment while bad guys are going door to door in her building looking for Matt. While he is recovering, we get some flashbacks to Matt and his dad, who was a boxer. We learn that he was involved in a gambling ring and would throw fights. At the end, he won a fight he was supposed to lose, thus insuring himself a large payday. He had the money put into his son's name, and then is killed by the mobsters he betrayed by winning the fight.

In the present day, Matt (I still can't call him Daredevil yet) subdues his pursuer and then saves the boy from the boat where he was being stored. All in all, a pretty good episode. I wasn't sure if I was going to like this show or not but both this episode and the first one were pretty good. This one might have even been better than the pilot. I liked it a lot and can't wait to see more Daredevil in the future.

Now we will move on to How I Met Your Mother. I watched this towards the end of my rotation the last time I did this blog thing, so I will watch it towards the beginning this time. This is season 2, episode 17. Arrivederci, Fiero is the episode title. Yes, I had to double check that spelling before posting it here.

This episode mainly focuses on Marshall's car. If you are guessing it was a Fiero, you have guessed correctly. It dies right before it hits 200,000 miles, causing the group to reminisce about all the good (or bad) moments they have had with the car in its lifetime.

My only problem with this episode is that it is towards the end of season 2, and this is the first time we have heard about Marshall even having a car. They always take a taxi whenever they go anywhere. Maybe there have been some episodes where they have been driving a car, but if there are I don't remember them. So the whole storyline just kind of came out of nowhere to me.

But it was fun. there were a lot of flashbacks to Marshall and Ted when they were younger, which I always find amusing. The stories around the car were funny. And I liked how the car radio always played 500 Miles by the Proclaimers because the tape was stuck in the player on repeat. Any excuse to be able to hear that song is a win in my mind.

I liked the episode. I'm still not a huge sitcom fan but I do think that starting this show was a good choice for me. If I am going to watch a sitcom, it might as well be one that is not only consistently funny but clever and smart at the same time.

Next up was the Twilight Zone. Season 2, episode 20. Static.

This episode takes place in a nursing home. One of the old dudes living there hates television. He gets a radio where he can hear music and broadcasts from the 1930s. The good old days. He tries to show everyone in the home the music but when he brings in other people they can only hear static. We find out that he has dementia or something and is permanently stuck reliving his glory days in his mind.

At least that was my interpretation of the episode. At the end of the show it showed a younger version of the man and his wife when they were happy. The narrator made it seem like the radio actually transported him back in time to his happier days. But it could also be interpreted that this is what he sees in his mind while everyone else just sees a kooky old man.

It was a decent episode. Some of these Twilight Zone episodes are hit or miss with me. But this one falls squarely in the middle in the sense that I didn't particularly like or dislike it.

Now on to Doctor Who. I've been alternating between this show and Torchwood, trying to watch things in as close to their actual order as I can. Note that this is the "new" Doctor Who, not the old black and white one. So this is season 4 with David Tennant. Second episode, entitled: Partners in Crime.

In this episode the Doctor and a red haired woman both are investigating a weight loss pill that seems to work miraculously. At first I didn't recognize the woman. She seemed to know the Doctor and the two seemed to have a history together. So I Googled her and saw that she was the one in the episode where a woman was transported aboard the Tardis in the middle of her wedding. She has been looking for him ever since, and wants to come aboard as a companion.

After a bunch of near misses with one another in their investigations, they finally meet up and discover that the pill makes aliens out of people's fat. The "mother" is the head of the weight loss pill company and she gathers all the fat aliens together but is cast aside by them at the end. The Doctor decides to take Donna on as a companion after this whole episode is resolved. While getting ready to go, Donna talks to someone on the street and we see that it is Rose Tyler, who has been AWOL from the show for a while. So I assume she is going to play some kind of a role in the upcoming episodes.

It was a decent episode. The show is growing on me more and more as it goes on. It seems like the production values have increased and things aren't as hokey looking anymore. Also, the writing seems to have improved. I am starting to see why people like Doctor Who so much, although I am still not completely sold on it.

Oh and I totally recognized this scene from the episode from a picture I have seen online before:

Now I finally know where it comes from.

We switch gears to Derek. This is season 3, episode 1. Special Episode is the title. I don't know if this is the finale of Derek, or just a special episode set to fill the gap between seasons 2 and 3 of the show. Or if there will even be a season 3. Maybe this is it? I don't know. I've heard that this is the farewell episode of the show. I have also heard that there will be a season 3. I don't know what to believe. I am just treating this as episode 1 of season 3. And I will expect more episodes in the future. If they don't come - then oh well.

 I like this show. It's about a mentally handicapped guy who helps with the old people at a nursing home in England. There are a lot of fun and goofy moments, as you would expect considering the subject matter. But there are a lot of hard hitting emotional moments as well. It's very good.

This episode focuses on a lot of major life events that happen after season 2. Derek going on a date. Kevin getting so drunk he winds up in the hospital and has to agree to clean up his act. Hannah's wedding, and the birth of her baby.

It seems like this episode was tying things up to end the show. So I wouldn't be surprised if it is over. Everyone had their own little special moment, except for that bald guy who disappeared. The focus of the episode seemed to be on the characters of Derek and Hannah. They each have their own moral codes. Derek is so nice and treats everyone equally. He wants to help everyone and hates to see anyone suffer. And Hannah is sort of the same way. Except she's smart.

Things are indicated that everything will end happily. Kevin will clean up his act. Joe loves Hannah and the baby, and they will live long happy lives. Derek will keep doing what he is doing. Even that one chick (I forget her name - who got sent to the home for shoplifting) seems to have her life on the right track.

So if the show ended now... if this was indeed the last episode, I guess I have to be content with how it ended. It ends on such a positive note, and that is really what the show has been about all along. Its supposed to be uplifting. And this episode certainly was.

Now its time for Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I love Star Wars but this cartoon is a little boring for me. I keep hoping it will get better (I always hear good things about it) plus I want to see how it ends. So I keep chugging along. Very slowly. At the pace of maybe one episode every other week.

This episode is season 2, episode 22. Entitled: Lethal Trackdown. Boba Fett has taken hostages and demands that Mace Windu come face him or he will kill them one by one. Instead of Mace going (he is injured) Ahsoka and Plo Koon go and fight the bounty hunters. The group is disbanded, the head female dies, and Boba is taken into custody.

It was a run of the mill Clone Wars episode. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't particularly exciting either. This is the final episode of season 2, so maybe I will take a break from this for a while. If I am not really enjoying it, it is probably best that I move on to something I do. And then I will come back to this when I feel the time is right.

Now we move on to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This has been in my rotation for over a year now, but it keeps falling out. I'm not invested in the show enough to want to watch more than one episode every once in a great while. Everyone kept telling me how great this was, since I like Firefly and other Joss Whedon stuff. But so far I haven't really been able to get into it.

Maybe it will change now that I have made a specific point to come back and insert it into my rotation again. This episode is from season 2. Episode 8. Entitled: The Dark Age.

This episode centers around Giles mainly. A demon that he used to summon in his younger days when he was still exploring the occult comes around to kill him. Just when things are looking up with his lady friend the teacher, the demon inhabits her body and tries to murder Giles and the kids. At the end though, good wins. The demon is vanquished and the lady friend regains control of her body.

That's where the show ends. The lady friend then shuns Giles after all she had been put through. Things were going good for Giles and then they came crashing down. Now he is single again.

It was just an okay episode. It didn't wow me or anything. I was bored for a lot of it. It didn't do much to advance the overall story arc, except give Giles a little more depth. It answered my question as to whether Buffy would become a solid contributing member of my rotation. Probably not. I may watch an episode here or there but its never going to be something I am going to be super excited about.

Speaking of shows I don't get too super excited about, time to watch House of Cards. Season 3, episode 4. Entitled: Chapter 30.

Before we get too far I must add my piece about how I love the introduction theme song. It may be the best part of the show for me, as funny as that may seem. I may have mentioned this in my last blog entry. Or maybe I didn't. But every time I watch this show I never skip over the intro.

This episode was pretty dull for me. It was a lot of people in suits talking about politics. Nothing exciting happened. This is one of the reasons I find it so hard to get into this show. When something does happen, it is awesome and my attention is grabbed. But this happens so rarely that you really have to wait a long time for the payoff.

This to me was a run of the mill House of Cards episode. I'm sure stuff happened here that will have some kind of effect on the future. But for the most part it seemed like nothing happened at all.

All right. So after watching several shows in a row that I am not too thrilled with, we will move on to something I know I will like. Breaking Bad. Now I have seen this show before. But after watching season one of Better Call Saul, it made me curious to go back and see this from the beginning. I started it less than a week ago and am up to episode 6 of season 1. Entitled: Crazy Handful of Nothin."

This is the episode where Tuco is introduced. Walter and Jesse are back in the cooking business again. The money that Jesse makes selling on the street isn't enough for Walter. He wants to sell in bulk. So a meeting is set up with Tuco who is the area drug kingpin.

Jesse goes by himself, and the results are disastrous. Tuco takes the pound of meth away from him. And beats the crap out of him. That's one of the things that I don't like about Tuco. You always feel on edge when he is onscreen because he can flip out at any moment.

Walt goes to talk to Tuco, and this is where the nickname Heisenberg is first used. Heisenberg uncertainty principal. I am sure most of us picked up on why he used that as his name. While there are probably some idiots out there who are clueless.

Walt blows up the joint and basically stands his ground (and then some) against Tuco. They agree to make a deal for the money owed from the first pound, plus Jesse's hospital bills. Then they made a future deal for more drugs.

It was a good episode. Aside from the fly episode, you will be hard pressed to find a bad episode in this series. I really enjoyed it. Things are so different here than they end up being at the end of the series. Its interesting to me to watch this unfold from the beginning, knowing what is going to end up happening. This is well worth the re-watch.

Let's change gears in a major way. Star Trek: The Original Series. I had seen TNG, DS9, and Voyager in their entireties, but I had yet to watch the original series. So about 2 years ago I decided to watch TOS in its entirety as well.

It is very slow going, but I am getting there. I don't like this series as much as the other seasons of Star Trek. Some episodes are quite boring and the whole look and feel of the show is very dated. But we progress. Season 3, episode 16. The Mark of Gideon.

Another episode that to me was just all right. Nothing too special about it. Kirk is supposed to beam down to meet with an ambassador on an alien world. He ends up aboard an exact replica of the Enterprise, devoid of all life except for one female. Being Captain Kirk, the two become extremely close. My mind started to wander because I was bored, but I think the whole thing was a setup by the alien government. Their population was getting too big, and the lifespans too long. They wanted her to get sick from her exposure to Kirk so she could contract an illness that would thin the population.

I was only half paying attention, so my diagnosis of this may be all wrong. I do like Star Trek, but a lot of these original series episodes bore me to death and can't hold my attention. I wish I felt different, but I don't. I kind of can't wait until it is out of the rotation (8 episodes left!)

The next show I watched was quite different from anything else listed so far. Street Food Around the World. My wife and I watch this with dinner now. We like travel shows, and we like food shows, so this is a good fit for us.

The show is hosted by some guy named Ishai who I have never heard of before. He tends to crack a lot of jokes and say off the wall things. Some of the episodes I wince internally because he acts like an obnoxious American tourist and I know that people are thinking something like "WTF is wrong with this guy?" But some countries are more accepting of him. It's all good fun I guess.

This is season 1, episode 8. Entitled simply - Episode 8. Clever huh? In this episode, Ishai goes to Amsterdam where he drinks beer, eats food, and travels the streets talking to people. I thought this was a fun episode. I've always been curious about Amsterdam, and even though this a really short show and they tend to linger longer in one place than show you more places in the city I still liked it.

This is always a good, fast, easy to watch change of pace type show whenever I am getting bored with all the serious shows on my regular queue.

Another fast paced and easy to watch show is It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I usually take a break from this show for a few months whenever I finish a season. Season 6 was the last season I finished, so now we begin season 7 with episode 1. Entitled: Frank's Pretty Woman.

Frank wants to marry a prostitute, but the gang is disgusted by her. Dee takes her to a clothing store and when he sees the kind of money she makes, joins her in her lifestyle. Also, Mac is fat and goes to the doctor with Dennis. Charlie pukes blood on a woman in a limousine he is trying to set Frank up with to keep him from marrying the hooker. In the end, the hooker dies before Frank can marry her, and the gang leaves her body in the apartment hallway.

If you like crass humor, you will like this show. I know that my wife doesn't like it much so I have to watch it on my own. It's better than the average sitcom you would see on TV since the subject material can be more risque and out there. The show is always good for a quick laugh, and if you are ever in a bad mood you could put on an episode of this and lower your IQ for a little while. It is dumb and somewhat classless humor, but I like it.

We'll go from humor to sci fi as we switch over to the show Revolution. I really liked this show for a while there, but I have found that it has ground to a painful halt in season 2. The show is decent, but I just wish they would get to the point quicker. I like a lot of characters, and am interested in all the mysteries of the show, but could care less about the whole power struggle that is going on with all the different groups like the Patriots and what not. And so much time has been spent this season on this story line. I'm more interested in the nanomachine things and the power being out.

But this show is only 2 seasons long, and I am on episode 14 of season 2. So I expect things to pick up soon since I am almost finished. The title of this episode is: Fear and Loathing. Guess what - it takes place in Las Vegas. Didn't see that coming, did you?

The main focus of the episode is the capture of Monroe. He and his son are scheduled to fight each other to the death. And if they don't give it their all, they will both die. Charlie comes in to save the day however. Elsewhere - Matheson and Neville are temporarily teamed up but really Neville is just using him to get to Monroe so he can free his wife. Also, Aaron is taxed with the problem of whether or not to fix whatever is wrong with the nanomachines.

I actually did enjoy this episode a lot. Compared to things like Star Trek and House of Cards, this was very fast paced and much more entertaining. I was genuinely interested in the storyline this time around. And the way the episode ended (with Aaron giving the nanomachines a virus that kills them and then waking up in a world with power) made me want to keep watching with the next episode. However, I am only watching one episode of each show this weekend. So I must press on.

I do feel this episode did a lot to boost Revolution's stock in my queue. I'll probably start watching this a little faster once I get back into my normal viewing pattern after this weekend lets out.

Now we move on to one of my cartoons that I like to watch on Saturday or Sunday mornings. The Ultimate Spider Man. If I was a kid I am sure I would love this series. As an adult, I find it hit or miss. I think I mentioned this in my last blog entry but I like how this cartoon cris-crosses with the other Marvel series like Avengers and the X-Men.

I'm up to season 2, episode 15. Stan By Me. In this episode, Peter and a group of students are stuck in the school with the janitor after hours. Principal Coulson has been captured, and there is destruction everywhere. They discover that the Lizard is behind all the mayhem, and is building a machine under the school to keep him as the Lizard forever. Peter runs off to get help, and comes back as Spider Man. Along with the janitor (Stan Lee), they defeat the Lizard and force him away.

I enjoyed this episode. Some episodes of this show can be kind of dumb, but this one was fun. I like the premise of the episode, and how it involved some of the human characters getting in on the adventure. The Lizard is a good villain too. This episode combined the trademark Spider Man humor with some solid action and a good story.

I still probably won't watch more than 1 or 2 of these a week, but this episode was pretty good.

Next up is Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey. I like having an educational show or something about the universe in my queue, and Cosmos is that show. I am on season 1, episode 6: Deeper Deeper Deeper Still. If you are paying attention you will notice that this episode comes before the one I watched for my last blog entry. That's because I don't watch the episodes for this show in order since it's a science show and doesn't follow a story line or anything. As for the episode title, they couldn't have possibly thought of a more perverted episode title, could they? But I guess it fits, as this episode is all about microscopic life forms.

Normally I prefer when this show focuses on outer space, and this episode did NOT focus on space. It was all about microscopic cells and life forms. It was more like sitting there in school than it was watching an entertaining episode of a television show. I found myself drifting off to sleep quite often here. If you like microbiology you may like the episode.

I didn't. But that doesn't mean I don't like the show. It is allotted a clunker every once in a while.

On to the next show. Friday Night Lights. I started watching this last year and thought it was pretty good. For whatever reason, it fell off of my queue and I completely forgot about it for the longest time. Now it is back in my rotation, where I resume watching at season 1, episode 6. El Accidente.

This episode focuses on doing what is right versus doing anything to win. The coach knows that violations occurred in Voodoo's recruiting and struggles with the morality of the situation. And a player on the team knows that a fellow player is lying over a role in his fight that left a boy hospitalized. Tell the truth, and get a good player kicked off the team - or say nothing and let him get away with an awful crime?

Also in the episode, Riggs took Jason out of the hospital to drive around and go to the lake. Lyla came along too. It was nice to see Riggs being the friend that Jason needs him to be. But the whole Lyla situation was awkward and very close to getting out of hand.

I had forgotten how good this show can be. I think the reason it fell out of my rotation is because it hadn't hooked me yet. But this was a really good episode, and any more of these and I don't think it will be falling out of the rotation anytime soon. I am glad I rediscovered Friday Night Lights and I think it has found a permanent spot in my rotation.

Now we head on over to Amazing Stories. This is a show I adored as a kid, but now as an adult am struggling to make it through. There are a few good episodes every once in a while, but for the most part a lot of them are pretty dumb. What will I get tonight?

Season 2, episode 5. You Gotta Believe Me. I got lucky this was a good one. It was like a 20 minute long horror movie. A man wakes up in the middle of the night suffering from a dream that there had been a bad plane crash right outside his house. He rushes off to the airport to warn them but isn't taken seriously. He even sees some of the same people from his dream waiting to board at the airport.

While leaving the property, the man sees someone in a small personal plane who is clearly under the influence. He runs out and steals a car and smashes into the small plane right before it can hit the big airliner with all the people on it.

So he saves the day and prevents the dream from coming true. Good episode, good story. They did a good job at making the man's sense of panic and terror seem genuine. It seems like a lot of Amazing Stories episodes are goofy or stupid - they need more like this one.

We move on to a show that I sometimes dread watching: The X Files. I know that this may seem sacrilegious to some, but a lot of the episodes are boring to me and too draped in confusion of what is actually going on with all the conspiracies and shit.

I've been watching this show for over 2 years now and I am only up to season 3, episode 9. This episode is entitled: Nisei.

Mulder is examining an alien autopsy video he bought through the mail and decides to follow up on it. When he does, he gets drawn into yet another big conspiracy plot. Meanwhile Scully discovers a group that claims to have gone through the same abduction process that she did in season 2. I'd offer more details about the plot but that is basically all I remember. This is the type of X-Files episode that I don't really like - dealing with the conspiracies and all that.

How many alien coverups can possibly be going on in this country alone - all at the same time? I became bored and what usually happens when I am bored is my mind starts to wander. I started to think about the Packers draft and before I knew it I had missed big chunks of what was happening in the show.

But I am a stubborn SOB. I will continue to watch this show, even if it takes me ten years to finish it. I know it must get better, since I recall watching this on TV when I was younger and really getting into it. But these early seasons.... I just can't wait to get through them.

Now we move on to a show that I actually hadn't planned to add into my rotation just yet. American Horror Story, season 3: Coven. Since I am just now starting the season, we begin on episode 1: Bitchcraft.

Originally I was going to watch Chuck. But because I just finished with season 2 of Chuck, I decided to take a break from it for a while. I usually do this between seasons of a "long" show. Long is more than 4 or 5 seasons with 20 plus episodes a season.

No better show to temporarily take Chuck's place than American Horror Story. I have seen the first two seasons, and I watched them pretty quickly. I have heard all kinds of good things about Coven, so it shouldn't take me long to power through this. And then I can go back to Chuck.

This was a solid first episode. I had forgotten how messed up AHS could be, and this show quickly reminded me of it right from the get go with all the slave torture stuff. I thought this whole show was going to be in old times, but after that it moved to the present day. A girl getting sent off to a school for witches when she learns that anyone she fucks dies.

Everyone at the school has their own unique power. And through flashbacks and what not, we find out that there is a very rich history behind the school that resonates into the present day. What exactly is going on, we don't know. But I am very curious to see more of the show to uncover things. This is a solid entry into the rotation. I can see me finishing with this pretty quickly.

Final show of the rotation: Criminal Minds. Season 1, episode 16. The Tribe.

This episode was about a group of 5 kids who were found dead in a vacant home while partying one night. The way they were killed made it look like old Native American ritual killings. The team determines that there is a 6th person out there who was taken by the murderers. There is a lot going on in this show, but eventually with the help of a local Native American law enforcement officer the team discovers that the missing girl was kidnapped to save her from a cult (which she was in). The cult was led by some Manson like fellow who misguided people into believing a bunch of Native American stuff. He was behind all the killings.

At the end, the cult is subdued while attempting to attack a school.

This was another good Criminal Minds episode. I do like this show. But for some reason it struggles to stay afloat in my rotation. Perhaps it is because this show deals with things on a case by case basis, instead of there being a long term story arc that makes you keep wanting to check in to see what is going to happen next.

That's it! 20 episodes watched in 3 days. I likely won't update this blog again until I have bumped at least 5 shows from the rotation. I like it to be a little different each time I do this, and it is no fun writing about the same shows over and over again. I could see the next few shows I finish with being Cosmos, Revolution, American Horror Story, Daredevil, and House of Cards. Maybe the Street Food show. I won't count Derek as finishing a show since there aren't anymore episodes up yet.

Chuck will get added back to the rotation, along with 4 other shows. What they are at this point, I can't say. I started watching Hemlock Grove and Continuum a while back, so it is possible I may put them back into the rotation. But I didn't particularly like either one.

There are a lot of strong possibilities for new shows for the rotation. I hear Arrow and The 100 are good. There are also a lot of other shows I am interested in like Bloodline, Heroes, and Mad Men out there that I haven't seen yet. And of course new seasons of past shows in the rotation like Orange is the New Black and Hell on Wheels will be added.

So expect this list to look quite different next time I update this. Thanks for reading and see ya next time.