Video Game Review #236: Panzer Dragoon Orta

Panzer Dragoon Orta

Xbox

Nostalgia Factor:

I am familiar with both Panzer Dragoon and its sequel for the Sega Saturn, Panzer Dragoon II: Zwei. I rented and played through both of these games back in the late 90s at some point. While I liked the games, I was never too crazy about them. I preferred other rail shooters like Star Fox and Solar Eclipse instead.

After the Sega Saturn’s unceremonious death, I thought that the Panzer Dragoon series was gone forever. I really, REALLY wanted to play Panzer Dragoon Saga (a much heralded RPG released at the end of the Saturn’s lifespan), but limited copies were shipped out, and I was never able to get my hands on it. I still haven’t been able to play the game, and now copies of it are selling for over a thousand dollars online. No thanks, I don’t want to play it that bad!

Much to my surprise, Panzer Dragoon Saga would not be the last game released in the series. In 2003, Panzer Dragoon Orta was released for the Xbox. I would end up finding a used copy of this game a few years later when I was dating my ex-girlfriend, Jessica. While I never owned an Xbox myself, she did. We lived together, so I figured I’d buy the game and give it a shot.

I played through the game and I beat it, but I never gave it much of a second thought. I’d say this was back in 2006 or 2007. Jessica and I ended up separating. She took her Xbox with her. I kept my copy of Panzer Dragoon Orta. Up until just recently, I haven’t had an opportunity to replay this game, because I didn’t own an Xbox.

Well, now I do own one – as of a few years ago. I always knew I would get around to replaying Panzer Dragoon Orta at some point, it was just a matter of time. Well, now that time has come! What would I think about the game? Let us begin.

Story:

I’ve always struggled understanding the storylines in Panzer Dragoon games, and this one is no exception. Let’s just say it is very abstract. I’ll do my best to break it down for you.

This game takes place in a post-apocalyptic world filled with fantastic creatures, mystical technology, and flying dragons engineered for the purpose of being living weapons. There is some kind of evil Empire controlling all the technology and trying to take over the world. Everyone speaks German and moves in slow motion from time to time. The whole tone of the game is very surreal and dream-like, and for some reason this makes it very hard for me to understand what the heck is supposed to be happening on the screen. It is hard to put into words. Best description I can come up with is David Lynch meets Mad Max, but with flying dragons instead of cars.

Panzer Dragoon Orta begins with a girl locked up in a tower. The tower is attacked and the girl is about to be killed when a giant attack dragon swoops in and annihilates her attackers. She hops on the dragon’s back and blasts her way to freedom. You play as this girl (Orta) and her dragon.

After escaping, Orta meets up with a pack of hunters and helps them kill a giant creature. They take her back to their city to show her gratitude. The Empire attacks the city to get their hands on Orta, and she attacks the enemy fleet head-on. She’s shot down, her dragon badly hurt. There’s a level where you run on the ground (like a tank) and shoot your enemies before jumping off a cliff just in time for your wings to heal up and allow you to fly again.

You fight the Empire. A creepy bad guy takes you into an ancient computerized relic where you learn secrets about your creation and your past. You have some kind of destiny. I don’t know. The game had lost me at this point. I can’t even tell you what happens at the end of the game. Surreal and dream-like is a bit of an understatement.

You fight a bunch of giant monsters. There’s cutscenes, there’s credits. Game over.

I wish I could recap things better, but like I said I’ve always struggled to understand the story in Panzer Dragoon games. You kind of just play them for the experience. Or maybe that is just me.

Gameplay:

Panzer Dragoon Orta is a rail-shooter, so its gameplay is make or break. You’re going to constantly be locking-on and firing at enemies as they streak across the screen. If the controls suck and are sluggish or unresponsive, it will break the whole game.

Luckily, Orta’s overall gameplay is about as smooth as you can get. The aiming reticle is accurate. Controls are responsive and crisp. This game is very easy to pick up and play, but very difficult to master. When I first started playing, I came in expecting Star Fox, only to quickly learn that Star Fox is a walk in the park compared to Panzer Dragoon Orta. Not only is this game more difficult, there are so many more intricacies to be found here. For example: the camera. You mainly fly on a fixed course, but enemies will attack you from all directions, not just from in front of you. As a result, you have to constantly swivel around and look in different directions. Make no mistake, they are coming at you from every angle.

Like I said, this game is challenging. You have to be alert and on your feet from the very first level on. When I first started playing this game, I struggled a bit to adapt to this game’s style and I died a bunch of times. Your dragon has three different attack modes, and knowing when to switch back and forth between these modes is critical if you want to do well with this game.

Standard attack mode is what I would tend to use the most. You have a regular gun, you have missiles that can lock on to your enemies. You have a boost meter of two. Boost gives you a burst of speed you can use to dodge enemy attacks or gain angles on bosses.

You have Glide mode, which showcases a very weak rapid-fire attack. It has a boost meter of four. Mainly you want to use Glide to shoot down enemy projectiles since it locks on to them and fires so quickly. It is so weak though, it is pretty much useless against bosses and tougher standard enemies. The boost meter of four comes in great handy, however.

Then you have a heavy attack mode with strong weapons, but no ability to boost whatsoever.

Like I said before, switching back and forth between attack modes is key. Say you are fighting a boss who fires homing missiles. Switch to Glide mode to quickly shoot down the missiles. Switch to heavy attack mode to pummel the boss while his defenses are down. The boss starts to accelerate, so you switch to regular mode to boost a couple times. Then you switch back to heavy mode to continue the beat down. It fires homing missiles at you. Switch to Glide mode to take the missiles down.

Etc.

Master the strategies of the game, master the game.

Panzer Dragoon Orta is challenging, but balanced and fair. Whenever I died, I knew it was because I wasn’t alert or fast enough and I had let my defenses down. I struggled mightily with the first few levels of this game when I first started playing, but that is because I wasn’t switching attack modes appropriately at all. Once everything clicked and I started to understand the strategies involved. I began to enjoy the game much, much more.

Graphics:

This game is over 15 years old, but it still looks really good. Being an Xbox game, its graphics completely annihilate the Saturn games. Bright, vibrant colors. Unique, mystifying creatures. Stunning and surreal game environments. What really makes this game tick is the dream-like atmosphere it creates. 

Sure if you look really close, there are aspects of this game’s graphics that appear outdated. I’m sure a remaster or an updated HD version of the game could smooth out of its some rough edges. But I think these rough edges add to the game’s gritty charm. I may not understand this game’s story, but I fully appreciate the work that went into giving its world such a unique look and feel.

Sound:

Panzer Dragoon games have always had strong soundtracks, and Orta follows suit. Nothing is too iconic or memorable here, but the grand orchestral scope of the game’s music is impressive and gets the blood pumping in battle.

Like I said about this game’s graphics – Panzer Dragoon Orta creates a stunning and surreal dream-like world for the player to inhabit. This game’s music and sound effects play a massive part in bringing that vision to life. The battle sound effects, the distorted voices, the otherworldly whirring and wooshing magical sound effects – they all play their part.

Overall:

My journey with this game was weird. I came into it with high hopes, carrying mainly fond (but very vague) memories of enjoying this game back in 2005 or 2006. I actually didn’t care for it at first, and nearly turned it off so I could play something else. But I stuck with it. Once I figured out the intricacies of the game, I was able to relax and really enjoy it.

I played this game off and on over the course of a couple weekends (why did no one tell me how much having a baby would cut into my video game playing time???)  before finally beating it and combing through the extra chapters just a few nights ago. The extra chapters add a few hours of gameplay. Some bonus missions that fill in the story blanks. An extra mode where you play as a kid who fights for the Empire. But the most important extra, for me anyway, is that the entire version of the original Panzer Dragoon for the Sega Saturn is unlockable. Sweet! I shall have to play through it and review it in the near future.

So this game is truly worth the 15 bucks or whatever I paid for it back in 2006. It doesn’t have the personality or the heart and soul of Star Fox. It is not as fun as Star Fox. But its not Star Fox. Panzer Dragoon does its own thing. It feels a bit serious and overly challenging at times, but it is rewarding if you stick with it. The graphics are beautiful. The music and sound effects help create a very eerie and different fantasy universe. The story: who knows what is going on here, but I am sure some people like it.

This game may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I enjoyed it. I am not necessarily jumping up and down for it, but I understand it is a unique and very well-crafted game. Could it have been more fun? Yeah. Sometimes it felt like a chore to play, particularly on challenging levels where you’d repeatedly die and have to play the level over and over again. It’s missing that certain fun and joyful element that Star Fox has – that would have put it over the top. Instead of a great game, I simply look at this as a good game. And there is nothing wrong with that.

This is a good game. But that’s it.

Final Grade:

B

If you liked this review, please check out some of my other game reviews:

Solar Eclipse

Star Fox 64

Virtua Cop 2

Star Wars: Rebel Assault II: The Hidden Empire

Heavy Fire: Shattered Spear

Video Game Review #235: Final Fantasy VII Remake

Final Fantasy VII Remake

PlayStation 4

Nostalgia Factor:

The original Final Fantasy VII is quite possibly my favorite video game of all time. In fact, when I sat down and ranked my favorite video games about 12 years ago, it topped the list. I am not sure if it would STILL sit atop the list, but off the top of my head I would be hard pressed to name a game that’s had quite as big an impact on my life as this one.

As you can imagine, I have been eagerly awaiting this remake for years and years now. At first I wasn’t sure if I liked the direction they were taking the game, as I was expecting more of a recreation of the original game, but updated with today’s graphics. After playing the demo, my mind changed. Okay, maybe this could work. When the game finally came out shortly thereafter, I actually didn’t rush out to buy it. My wife and I were expecting our first child, and I simply could not justify dropping so much money on a brand-new game, given the circumstances. I had to wait an agonizing amount of time, hearing both good and bad things about the game as the reviews poured in. Luckily, a friend of mine at work had a copy of the game, which she loaned to me. She hated the game with a passion and warned me that it was terrible and completely ruined the original game for her.

This didn’t exactly inspire much confidence in me that I would like the game, but I was still more than willing to give it a try. I wanted to like it, but if I didn’t the original game would still be out there for me to play.

How would I feel about this remake? Did it wreck my favorite game of all time? Have I waited all this time for nothing? Read on and find out.

Story:

This game follows the same basic events as the original Final Fantasy VII, but with some tweaks and alterations made along the way. The first thing you should know is that the remake only covers up until the characters leave Midgar in the original FFVII, which takes place about five or six hours into that game. How do you expand a five or six hour experience into one full length game? Lots of ways, the results of which are very mixed.

I’m getting ahead of myself. If you haven’t played the original Final Fantasy VII and aren’t familiar with its story, this game follows the efforts of a terrorist group named Avalanche, who is in open rebellion against the tyrannical Shinra Power Corporation. Shinra has been sucking away the planet’s life blood, Mako, to use as fuel for their cities and experiments. FFVII Remake takes place entirely in Shinra’s capital city of Midgar. The city consists of a run-down slum section on the planet’s surface, comprised almost entirely of poor, lower class individuals. Above the slums is a giant plate suspended in the air by eight separate pillars, each marking a different sector of the city. Atop the plate live the upper-class citizens of Midgar, living in luxury at the expense of those below them. At the heart of the city looms Shinra Headquarters, overlooking it all. Powering the city are eight different Mako reactors, each working around the clock to drain the planet of Mako and supply energy to the citizens of Midgar.

The game begins with you in control of Cloud, a mercenary who has loaned his talents to Avalanche as they launch an assault to destroy Mako Reactor #1. After the reactor is destroyed, the group retreats to their hideout where they plan their next strike against Shinra. During an assault on a separate Mako reactor, Cloud is separated from the group and meets a young woman named Aerith, who doesn’t hesitate to join Avalanche’s cause. Shinra, in an attempt to discredit Avalanche and win the opinion of the people through fear, destroys the Sector 7 plate and send it crashing down on top of the slums below, killing nearly everyone in the process. During all this commotion, Aerith is kidnapped by Shinra. The surviving Avalanche members launch a successful assault on Shinra HQ to get her back. Aerith in tow, the group flees Midgar, only to run into an unexpected roadbloack, which I won’t spoil just yet.

This is the very, very basic version of this game’s events. Like I said, these events comprise only the first five or six hours of the original FFVII. Things are expanded and stretched out for this remake. We get longer cutscenes, more background info on the game’s various characters, expanded quests, and brand-new missions which weren’t available in the original game. Some of these changes worked, and some didn’t. More to come on that shortly.

Gameplay:

I was hesitant about this game’s combat system at first, as I was hoping for a return to the turn-based system of the original game. But FFVII Remake’s emphasis on real-time action grew on me very quickly once I got the hang of it. Mainly you are in control of Cloud, but you can switch to the other members of your party with the push of a button. Each character has a basic physical attack, either short or long range. Blocking and doling out physical damage fills your ATB gauge, which allows you to cast a spell, use an item, or unleash a special attack on your enemy.

The key to battle is to constantly switch back and forth between your party members building up your ATB gauge enough to unleash strong physical or magic attacks, and then moving on to the next character and taking advantage of that character’s unique strengths. It can be a bit overwhelming at first, but once I got the hang of it, it became second nature.

When you aren’t fighting, you are walking around and doing what you need to do to progress the game’s storyline. Certain things like buying items from shops, opening chests, upgrading your character, and discovering new Materia all make their return here, but FFVII vets will find lots of new things to see and do in this remake. Certain areas have you completing NPC sidequests in-between story segments of the game. This is a nice way to get a little extra background info on Midgar and some of the residents of the slums, but some of the sidequests like “find the missing cats” can feel a little tedious and out of place.

Speaking of tedious, some areas of the game feel a bit too drawn out for my tastes. One that comes to mind is the area before you fight the Airbuster boss. You run through Shinra’s reactor facility, fighting enemies and accessing computer terminals that allow you to weaken the boss before you even fight him. This area seemed to drag on FOREVER. You run through corridors that look exactly the same, fighting enemies that look exactly the same. It didn’t seem like it was ever going to end. It was a good idea, but executed very poorly. Some variety in the scenery or in your enemies would have helped here. Same with the area of the game where you run through Hojo’s laboratory with your party split in two. Everything looks the same. You keep doing the same thing, which is running through corridors and flipping switches. All the enemies are identical. It goes on for waaaay too long. There are probably other areas of the game like this, too, that I am forgetting about. Completely pointless! I understand that they needed to stretch a five or six hour segment of the original FFVII into a full length game, but certainly there were better ways to do it than through tedious monotony.

All in all, I didn’t think these segments did too much to drag down my enjoyment of the game. My main problems with the FFVII Remake have to do with some of the liberties taken with the game’s plot. Again, I will be getting to this shortly.

Graphics:

You just can’t criticize this game’s graphics. Everything looks amazing. As a lifelong FFVII fan, it was a real treat seeing the world of the original game brought to life in such painstaking detail. As I traversed through Midgar, I often had to pause to soak it all in. Seventh Heaven, Aerith’s church, the train station, the reactors, Wall Market, the Shinra building lobby, all of it looks absolutely sensational. This sounds corny as hell, but it was kind of like a dream come true seeing all these iconic FFVII locations brought to life with today’s graphics. It hit me hard, really hard, in the nostalgia. Heck, just looking up and seeing the plate above me, or looking off in the distance and seeing all the buildings and wreckage in the slums, all of it truly brought the world of this game to astonishing life.

The character models are very well-done. They do the original characters true justice. Cloud, Barrett, Tifa, Aerith, Sephiroth – even minor characters like Biggs, Wedge, Jessie, Marlene, Don Corneo, Heidegger, Scarlett, the Turks, and Rufus Shinra - ALL look terrific. Not a single character did I look at and say “hmmm…. I don’t agree with what they did with their look.”

Truly top-notch work here. This may be one of the best looking video games I have ever played.

Sound:

Voice acting is for the most part excellent as well. All of the characters sound exactly as I pictured they would. A lot of real emotion is put into the voice acting, which truly helps to give each character a distinctive personality. You really get to know almost everyone in this cast, and the voice acting has a LOT to do with that. There are a few corny dialogue scenes here and there, but you can’t blame the voice actors too much for that.

The original FFVII had a sensational musical score, and this game follows suit. Many of the tracks you hear are remixes of original game’s music and they are all very well done. Some new, memorable tunes are added to the mix as well. A cool thing about this game is that although you don’t visit many of the original FFVII’s iconic locations just yet, you can purchase and listen to some of the music from these locations at jukeboxes and vending machines scattered around Midgar. So although you never visit Costa Del Sol in this game, you can still hear what its music would have been like if this remake had made it that far.

If I had to make a complaint at all about the remake’s music, it is that a couple of my favorite tunes were either completely left out or altered to the point where I didn’t even realize I was listening to them. I understand they couldn’t bring back ALL of the original game’s music, but there were a few omissions of tracks I considered to be “definitive FFVII” that left me seriously scratching my head.

Overall:

So we’ve established that the game looks good, it sounds good, and its production values are very high. Now it is time for me to nitpick.

I don’t like what they did with this game’s story, most notably the Whispers. When they first started swarming around Aerith at the beginning of the game, my initial reaction was “WTF is this dumb shit?” I knew that in order to expand the story of the game, they’d have to change a few things. I was okay with that. But this was just dumb. Really dumb. There was enough source material to go on without having to add stupid, Dementor-like ghosts who randomly showed up into the mix.

The whole point of the Whispers (which we don’t find out until near the end of the game) is that they appear whenever something that is destined to happen falls into jeopardy. With the defeat of the Whispers at the end of the game, this gives the developers a chance to take FFVII into uncharted territory. Anything is fair game now. Will Aerith live in future installments? Maybe. And I am okay with that (kind of). My issue is - if they wanted to make changes to FFVII lore, just make the changes. Look at the Resident Evil 2 remake, for example. There are many changes made from the original game, but did they explain those changes? No. They just made them. They didn’t need to introduce some kind of intrusive, gimmicky plot twist to justify the changes. It’s a remake, we expect that things will be different this time around. The Whispers ruined literally every scene they were in, and honestly this game would have been much better if they had been left out.

Sephiroth was also introduced far too early in the game. I understand that Sephiroth is a major character, and people want to see him brought to life with today’s graphics. But all the visions, all the flashbacks, all the slow-walking Cloud segments were just too much. And the battle at the end of the game? Don’t even get me started. We don’t even hear the name Sephiroth in the original FFVII until the Shinra building segment of the game. He is constantly shoved down your throat in this game, to the point where it becomes obtrusive. It’s too much. Sephiroth himself is never really explained, either, despite his numerous appearances. If you’ve never played the original FFVII or are unfamiliar with the game’s story, you were probably left wondering “who the heck is this guy?” on several different occasions.

Other story deviations annoy me too. There’s another branch of Avalanche out there, that is well-coordinated with an army of soldiers at its disposal? What? The whole point of Avalanche, at least I thought, was that this was a ragtag group of rebels that was on its own in the fight against Shinra. When the “other” Avalanche showed up in this remake, it seriously left me scratching my head.

Same with the appearance of the villain character Roche. His sudden appearance was a bit too “Kingdom Hearts”-y for my taste. Too ridiculous, too over-the-top, too random. I was not a fan of him. And then once he leaves, you never hear from him again. What was even the point of introducing him? I’m sure he’ll be brought back for future installments of this series, and I am not looking forward to that. Also, Roche wasn’t in the original game, so isn’t his appearance interfering with destiny? Where are the Whispers now?

Other changes I didn’t like: when you break into Jesse’s parents’ house and steal from her comatose dad’s bedroom. Seriously? Gee, I wonder why that wasn’t in the original game. The laboratory underneath Sector 7 was pointless. I also didn’t like all the filler-ish sidequests, some of which I already mentioned. The missing cats, the missing kids, having to pick a flower bouquet, all that kind of stuff. Why do you specifically have to pick three different types of flowers when there are only three different types of flowers to pick from? Many things in this game seem like they were added simply to stretch the plot of the game to full-length. Why not just expand things past Midgar and end the game at a later time?

*sigh*

I could go on and on about all the changes I don’t like. How hard was it to port a classic, nearly flawless game into today’s era? All we wanted was a similar game, but with improved graphics. How do you screw that up??

Bloat. That’s how you screw it up. So much stuff could have been eliminated and the game wouldn’t have missed a beat. Did we really need hour-long dungeons like the Train Graveyard, the subway tunnels, the sewers, the reactors, and the underground laboratory? No, not at all. Not at all.

And while I said the battle system was fun, some of the boss battles can drag on for WAY too long. So many of the bosses you fight are bullet sponges that take 20-plus minutes of repetitive walloping to kill. The house monster that you have to fight during the Wall Market section of the game? Ugh. Kill me now.

All right, I think I am done complaining now. After all those rants, you’d think I probably hated the game. I didn’t. I would say overall I had a pretty enjoyable time with the FFVII Remake, actually. I think my expectations were just a little bit too high. Being such a big fan of the original game, I was going to be critical of each and every change they made to this game. Some worked, some didn’t.

What did work? The graphics, the setting, the music, the way the world of this game was brought to life. I can’t say enough about how impressive this game is visually. Just walking around and looking at things and admiring all the small details was a real treat to me.

I had fun with the combat (for the most part). I loved wandering around and talking to people and soaking in the game’s lore. The game is at its best when it is moving fast, things are clicking, and you really become invested in its story and its characters.

Overall, it worked. I may not have liked everything about this remake, and it may not have been the game I was expecting or wanting, but it worked. Will I play the second installment when it comes out (whenever that will be)? Absolutely.

But that does not mean that this game measures up to the original. Because it simply does not. And at this point, I'm beginning to wonder if another Final Fantasy ever will.

Overall:

B+

If you liked this review, check out some of my other game reviews:

Final Fantasy VII

Final Fantasy IX

Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus

Final Fantasy X

Chrono Trigger

Video Game Review #234: Gremlins 2: The New Batch

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

Nintendo Entertainment System

Nostalgia Factor:

Gremlins 2 was my favorite movie when I was a kid. I watched it so many times, I’m surprised my VHS copy of the movie didn’t crap out on me. Seriously, this was my go-to movie. I watched it every single day for a few solid months in a row. Whenever I would get in trouble at school or do something to get grounded, my punishment would always be that Gremlins 2 would be taken away from me.

It only makes sense that I would check out the video game adaptation of the movie, which I did. I rented this game for a weekend, had a really good time with it, beat it, and returned it to the video store. I haven’t played it or given it much thought since then. 29 years later, I have returned to the game. How would it hold up over time? Read on.

 

Story:

This game follows the same very, very basic plot of the movie. You control Gizmo, and it is your goal to make it through the Clamp building, fighting Gremlins every step of the way. Make it to the end of the game, and Billy zaps all of the Gremlins in the Clamp lobby with electricity, just like he does in the movie. The end.

One bizarre inconsistency is that Mr. Wing, Gizmo’s original owner, is still alive in this game. His death is what triggers the events of the movie, so it is interesting that he is still alive in the game. What kind of alternate dimension fuckery is this?

 

Gameplay: 

This game plays out a lot like a classic NES platformer, but from an overhead perspective. The closest comparison to another game I can make is to Blaster Master, when your character leaves the tank and enters a building. But this game’s action feels a lot more polished than Blaster Master’s. Controls are crisp and responsive. Many areas in this game requite pinpoint precision when you jump, and Gremlins 2 doesn’t let you down in that area. Whenever I would screw up, I knew it was my fault and not due to shoddy game mechanics.

Gizmo’s attacks start out pretty weak, with a limited range. As the game progresses, you gather new, more powerful weapons. By the end of the game, Gizmo has turned into a real badass. When you kill enemies, you collect currency. You can use this currency at Mr. Wing’s shops which are scattered throughout the game. He usually sells you a weapon upgrade, more health, an extra life, or an extra balloon. Balloons are definitely very helpful because if you fall into a pit (and make no mistake: you WILL fall into pits in this game), the balloon will allow you to rise up out of the pit without taking any damage. Perhaps even more importantly, the effects of the balloon last about 10 seconds or so. You can fly along using this balloon to skip some of the more difficult platforming sections of the game.

Gremlins 2 is fairly difficult, but nothing that can’t be tackled with a little trial and error. There are unlimited continues when you die, so that is helpful. There is also a password system to pick up where you left off, if you ever need to turn your NES off. I didn’t use this feature, as I completed the game in one sitting. I didn’t time my playthrough, but I would say it couldn’t have taken me more than two hours to finish this game.

not really a yes or no question, but okay

 

Graphics:

This game looks decent for its time. I wouldn’t say it looks fantastic or anything, but all of the characters are well-detailed and easily recognizable from the movies. Animations are… fine. The levels can look pretty good at times, and pretty bland and “same” looking at others. Graphics aren’t exactly this game’s selling point, but they aren’t a detriment to the game either. It looks good enough for me.

 

Sound:

There are some catchy tunes in this game, but nothing that really stands out as a “classic” memorable NES tune. Sound effects are good. Everything is on par for what it should be for a 1991 NES game. Again, good enough for me.

Fun little note: when I first started this game up, my wife was in the room with me. She complained about level one’s music, saying if she had to listen to “this” all night, she was going to have to leave the room. Luckily, the music changes whenever you move on to a new stage, so she didn’t have to listen to whatever song that was all night long.

 

Overall:

I had a surprisingly enjoyable time with this game. Levels are well designed. There’s a fun variety of enemies in the game, many recognizable from the movie. Controls are good. The game is a challenge too, but it never gets to the point where I wanted to throw the controller out the window in a blind rage. It’s that perfect type of challenging where you KNOW you can beat each stage with just a little practice. So you keep playing, keep practicing. And it works. You get a little bit better each attempt until you finally pass whatever stage you’re on and move on to the next one.

I played and completed both this game and Desert Demolition (my previous game review) in the same night, and I can easily say that this game is light years better than Desert Demolition. It’s all about that challenge level. When I beat this game I immediately wanted to go back and play it again to see how well I’d do with some experience under my belt. I didn’t though. I still might, however. Don’t be surprised to see a re-review of Gremlins 2 at some point in the future. That’s how you can tell I truly like a game, when I want to go back and play it again right after beating it. Such is the case with Gremlins 2. This is a really fun game.

Overall:

B+

 

If you liked this game review, check out a few of my others!

Blaster Master

Kid Icarus

Mega Man

Guerilla War

Rayman Legends

Video Game Review #233: Desert Demolition

Desert Demolition

Nostalgia Factor:

I don’t have any nostalgic feelings for this game. Desert Demolition came out in 1995, and I just now in 2020 – 25 years later- got a chance to give this game a shot. I didn’t have high hopes for this game, as I had never even heard of it before. How would I feel about it when all was said and done? Let’s find out.

 

Story:

This game’s story is as thin as they come. If you choose to play as Wile E. Coyote, your goal is to run through five different stages (followed by a final boss) to catch the Road Runner. If you choose to play as the Road Runner, you have to run through the same five stages (and the same final boss) to get away from Wile E. Coyote. The end.

Gameplay:

Gameplay is fairly simple as well. Each stage operates on a timer. If you’re playing as Wile E. Coyote, time counts down and if you allow time to run out, the Road Runner gets away and you lose a life. Your goal is to run through each stage as quickly as possible, collecting items and power-ups along the way. You run, you jump, you speed dash. There isn’t much in the way of combat to be found here. This is all about making it through each stage as quickly as possible and collecting as many items as you can. The Road Runner appears occasionally, and if you come into contact with him you don’t catch him, but he drops items that give you points and additional time on your clock. 

If you play as the Road Runner, your goal is to make it to the end of each stage while avoiding Wile E. Coyote. You can set traps as you go, which throws him off your path and gives you items. If the timer runs out, Wile E. Coyote catches you and you die.

Honestly, the game is a breeze. It took me a few minutes to get a hang of how to play the game, but once I figured things out it became as easy as can be. I completed the game with both characters within about 45 minutes. And that’s even after making it allllll the way to the end with Wile E. Coyote and losing all my lives on the final boss and having to start the whole game over again.

Graphics:

The game looks good! I would never say the graphics are beautiful or anything, but considering that this came out 25 years ago, I can’t complain too much. Things are bright and colorful. The characters and their animations are very well done. Each of the game’s separate stages have their own distinct aesthetic. No complaints here.

 

Sound:

Things sound pretty good too. A lot of the game’s music and sound effects reminded me a lot of Taz-Mania for the Sega Genesis. In fact, I can say with certainty that some of these sound effects were lifted directly from that game. I won’t complain, though. I liked that game’s sound effects and I like this one’s too. I wouldn’t say there’s anything too special or memorable about this game’s sound (or really anything special about this game in any category, to be honest with you) but I would never say it is poorly done or anything like that.

Overall:

This is a pretty easy game for me to grade. It falls directly into the middle of the pack in nearly every category. Nothing is spectacular. Everything is just okay.

Did I think the game sucked? No. I had a decent time with it. But was I nuts about it? Nah. Will I ever play through this game again in my life? Probably not. Desert Demolition offers almost no challenge and therefore offers zero replay value for me. I’ve seen everything this game has to offer, and I’m okay with that.

I think for a title that is nearly 100% average in every category across the board, a C would be a good grade for this game. But I'm going to dock it just a little bit for being too short and easy, and offering no replay value whatsoever. Yeah I had an okay time playing this game, but at least give me SOME reason to come back and play it again. I can imagine I'd probably be quite angry if I bought this game at full price back in 1995 only to find it contained about 45 minutes of gameplay.

 

Final Score:

C-

If you liked this review, check out some of these other game reviews:

Taz-Mania

Ren & Stimpy: Stimpy's Invention

Sonic The Hedgehog

Beethoven: The Ultimate Canine Caper

Home Alone 2

Video Game Review #232: Xenogears

Xenogears

PlayStation

Nostalgia Factor:

Be forewarned: nostalgia is going to play a giant factor in this review. Me and Xenogears are old friends. We go back a LONG way together.

Xenogears came out in a general area of time that I consider to be the golden age of video games. It was 1998. Nintendo 64 and Sony’s first PlayStation were vying for video game supremacy. I owned both of these systems, and I must say that there was no shortage of awesome games to play. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Resident Evil 2, Metal Gear Solid, and Banjo-Kazooie are all examples of great games that were released in 1998. This was clearly an epic year for gaming, but I am going to make the argument that the best game released that year was actually Xenogears.

Prior to playing Xenogears, the only true turn-based RPG I really had any experience with was Final Fantasy VII, which I thought was amazing. Considering that Final Fantasy VII may be my favorite game of all-time, Xenogears had a lot to live up to. And boy, did it rise to the occasion. While I won’t lie and say that I loved Xenogears right off the bat as much as I do now, it is safe to say that I enjoyed the game and sunk a countless number of hours into it. But there was just something about the game that wasn’t clicking with me. It was so “lore heavy” that I had no idea what was going on half the time, the relevance of certain terms and locations lost to me. About a third of the way through the game, while trying to battle my way out of Kislev, I got stuck. I hadn’t been upgrading my gears properly, and I was repeatedly getting my ass handed to me during a series of boss battles. I quit the game in frustration, and went on to play other things.

It was several months before I came back to Xenogears. I started the game from the very beginning, taking notes and keeping track of important names, locations, and events in a notebook. I found that I was able to enjoy the game MUCH more this time around. I dived deep into the world of the game, not emerging until I had defeated the final boss some 80 hours later. I explored nearly every nook and cranny of the game, I found nearly everything that there was to find. Coupled with my extensive notes, this was perhaps the most dedicated I’ve ever been to immersing myself completely into a video game world.

I loved Xenogears so much, I played through the entire game multiple times in the ensuing years, soaking in even more details I hadn’t noticed the first time through. I must have played through Xenogears at least five or six times between 1998 and the year 2000. I wrote fan fiction for the game that I submitted to online forums. I even started working on a novelization of the game that I never finished. I was SO obsessed with this game. Even though time has passed, I still haven’t lost my love for Xenogears. In the ensuing 20 years, I would say I probably come back to play through this game once every six or seven years or so.

I'm not sure of the exact date, but he last time I played through this game was around the year 2013 or 2014, about a year or two before beginning this blog. I recently started getting an itch to play this game again. I fired it up and bam – just as good as I remembered – if not better. The graphics, the music, the storyline: playing through this game felt like coming home to a good friend after a long time apart. Clearly you can tell by my words that this game is going to get an A+, but hang with me. Not a whole lot of people I know have every played Xenogears, and I want to make it my goal to sell as many people on this game’s greatness as I can. If you are an RPG fan and you haven’t played Xenogears, it is a crying shame. Hopefully after you read my review you’ll find a way to get your hands on this. It is criminally underplayed.

*Random Dan trivia: I purchased both this game and Metal Gear Solid on the exact same day. I remember thinking it was funny that I had purchased two games with the word “gear” in the title. Little did I know I’d be bringing home two games I consider all-time classics.*

 

Story:

Normally I just like to give the Cliff’s Notes version of a game’s storyline, but Xenogears is far too complex to break down in just a paragraph or two. Be forewarned: this section will contain spoilers.

The events of the game center around a character named Fei, a young man who lost his memory after being dropped off in the small village of Lahan in the middle of a bad storm three years ago. Fei integrates well into the village, becoming well-loved among the town folk. Lahan soon comes under fire, however, when a battle between two warring nations breaks out in the middle of town square. These two factions battle in giant mech-like suits called Gears. To try and save his friends from certain death, Fei hops into an empty Gear and tries to fight off the attackers. He blacks out in the middle of battle, and when he awakens he finds that he has completely destroyed Lahan while in a blind rage.

Ostracized by the remaining survivors of the village, Fei is exiled and heads out in shame. In a nearby forest, he encounters a mysterious woman named Elly, who we find out was one of the Gear pilots that had been fighting in the middle of Lahan. She had stolen the prototype for a new, powerful Gear, and was being chased by the people she had stolen it from. Hence, the battle that wiped out Lahan was pretty much all her fault.

Fei and Elly team up and are soon joined by Fei’s friend Citan, who has arrived with the aforementioned super powerful Gear in tow. Citan, who seems to know more than he lets on, convinces Fei to get back in the Gear and come with him to help explore its origins.

There’s so much to recap here, and I’ve barely gotten started. Anyway, Elly soon parts ways with our two heroes and returns to her superiors to give them her report on the events of the battle. Fei and Citan are captured by a pirate named Bart, an outcast and long thought-dead prince who is the rightful heir to the Kingdom of Aveh – one of the two powerful nations at war in the game. After getting off to a rough start together, they team up and work to take back Aveh and free the world from the grasp of the evil behind-the-scenes Empire of Solaris. Elly, a native Solarian, plays the role of traitor and jumps sides to aid her friend and eventual lover, Fei.

As the game goes on, you discover that game events are being manipulated by "God", who is in turn manipulating a Council called the Gazel Ministry, an ancient group of the planet’s first humans who transferred their consciousness to a computer when their physical bodies were destroyed. The Ministry is in cahoots with Gebler, a militaristic group that tries to gobble up all the advanced technology being excavated from dig sites around the planet. The game eventually ties into its mysterious opening cutscene, where you see a giant space ship from an advanced alien society being taken over by a biological weapon and crash to the surface of the planet below.

The characters from the game are descendants of the sole survivor of this ship (Fei's ancestor) and a woman created by the biological weapon (God). The weapon’s physical form has been almost completely destroyed, and its entire goal over the next several thousand years is to breed enough people to use as parts for rebuilding its body. There is also some kind of 'Wave Entity" at work whose ripples through time keep causing Fei and Elly to reincarnate throughout the years. Yeah. I've even left out about 85% of this game's craziness in this recap. Xenogears is intense!

There’s so many interesting themes this game explores. Religion, reincarnation, love, destiny, repressed memories, the ego and the id. And it’s all woven together against an incredibly detailed sci-fi backdrop. This is by far the most complex RPG storyline I’ve ever encountered. I’ve played through this game a countless number of times in my life, and I still can’t say I really understand everything 100%. But take my word for it: it is epic. You have to play this game to believe its storyline. One of my all-time favs.

Gameplay:

If you've ever played a 90's era JRPG, nothing about Xenogears should surprise you too much, at least on the surface. You control your character from an overhead perspective. You walk around, you explore, you talk to people, you open chests, you buy items, you watch the story unfold.

What makes Xenogears different is its battle systems. And I say systems plural because there are two different ways to fight in this game. When you fight on foot, you have a choice of standard weak, medium, or strong physical attacks. If you use weak attacks, you can save up extra battle points and use them to unfurl a strong combo attack on your enemy. Or you can just go straight for the kill from the get-go by using stronger attacks. You can cast spells, use items, and also link together different combinations of strong and weak attacks to do extra damage to your enemies.

The other way you can fight is from within a Gear. Gears use fuel and each attack drains a certain amount of fuel from your meter. You can boost your Gear to use more fuel, but attack quicker. You can use magical or special Gear attacks. You can even link combo attacks similar to how you would on-foot. Use too much fuel, however, and you'll  be stuck forfeiting your turn to charge your meter back up.

Combat is actually quite fun in this game, and is rarely tedious. It can be a bit difficult at first, but once you get the hang of how Xenogears works you should be good to go! The pace of the game flows along nicely, and is rarely ever too difficult or frustrating. But it is not easy, either. It's just right. One thing I don't like is dying after a super long cutscene, which happened to me several times on my last play through. You can't skip these cutscenes, so I was forced to just sit there spamming the x button over and over again, sometimes for 10 plus minutes.

On the world map, Fei is pretty easy to control. This isn't your typical "flat" 90's JRPG. Your environments are fully 3D and have a lot of depth to them. You can jump, run around, and climb things. Some areas and dungeons even have platforming elements to them. Precision jumping can be a bit rough in this game, but luckily you don't have to utilize this skill too often.

Graphics:

This is the area of the game that will probably scare the most people off. I personally grew up with games that look like this, and I absolutely love its visual appeal. But if you are someone who only plays games that look like the Final Fantasy VII remake, you might never get past this game’s primitive look. Characters are blocky and pixelated. Textures are messy and jagged. The camera can be hard to get under wraps. I can see some young snot-nosed kid playing this for ten minutes and then saying it is lame and never playing it again. It definitely does not have the timeless universal appeal of a game like, say Chrono Trigger, which is even older than this game.

But like I said, I personally love this game’s look and feel. Each area of the game has something about it that is memorable or unique. The colors are beautiful. The music and the graphics often blend together to create some truly amazing set pieces. There are some very heartfelt and genuine moments in this game as a result. Despite some of this game’s graphical shortcomings, it is still an amazingly immersive experience for me.

I appreciate that SquareSoft did something different from Final Fantasy VII with this game’s visuals. Instead of being 3D characters against a 2D backdrop, it is the complete opposite. Characters are 2D and the environments are 3D. To me, this works quite well. Right from the get-go you can tell that even though the makers of Xenogears were working with limited technology, they still poured a lot into this game’s graphics. In Lahan Village you see that the insides of the houses are incredibly detailed and different from one another. You see small personal touches like dirty sinks with dishes in them, unique furniture in each location, toys, fireplaces, rugs, pets running around, paintings on the wall. Later on when things take on a more futuristic tone, you see computer consoles, holograms, gadgets, and big wall-mounted screens in each location. There are so many small touches and details to take in as you play. I love it. The camera allows you to rotate your view and see everything in its full glory. Seems like small beans now, but this was a big deal back in 1998.

The characters are fun to look at. The enemies are creative. Some of this game’s backdrops are absolutely gorgeous. And like I said, this game is incredibly immersive. The feeling in the air when day turns to night, the flickering light of a roaring campfire, the serene inside of a holy church, the creepy, damp feeling walking around a sunken city, Xenogears just nails it.

 

 

Sound:

I may not have a rock-solid case for Xenogears as the best game of all time, but I certainly have a case for its music being the greatest ever. This is such an incredible soundtrack. There are so many iconic tunes to be heard here. Premonition, The One Who Is Torn Apart, Singing of the Gentle Wind, and Ship of Regret and Sleep are some of my favorite video game musical tracks of all time. Below I included a link to this game’s soundtrack. Please do yourself a favor and look them up.

Once again I am going to mention how atmospheric this game is. And it is not just the game’s visuals that do all the work. This game’s music and sound effects work in perfect tandem with its graphics to get the job done. The drip of water in a dank, echo-filled cave, the crackle of a campfire, a choir singing in a vast church as a ray of sunlight beams in from above, the mechanical humming sound that fills the room when you check in on the Gazel Ministry, their distorted features rotating around the room on oversized computer monitors. SquareSoft really nailed this game’s sound effects. It’s just all so very immersive.

But the music. My god, the music. It sets the tone so well. It is always perfect for whatever is happening on screen. I am in love with this game’s music. If you think I am kidding or trying to over sell the point, you are gravely mistaken. It is really that good.

Xenogears Soundtrack Part One

Xenogears Soundtrack Part Two

Overall:

I already told you in my intro that his game was going to get an A+, so hopefully I’ve done a good job explaining why. The story is amazing, the combat is a blast, the musical score is one of the greatest ever, and the game’s environments are incredibly immersive and detailed.

What does this game do wrong? Very little. Some of the game’s story segments can be a little bit out of control. I remember wanting to go to bed one night, but I just had to beat the next boss first. Little did I know that this fight would be followed by 50 straight minutes of talking and plot exposition. 50 minutes is one of the game’s more extreme cases, but be forewarned that you are going to be watching some LONG story segments here.

Also, some of the game’s plot elements are pretty dang wacky, and borderline completely unintelligible at times. What are these characters ranting about? Why are they talking about the meaning of destiny in the middle of an intense Gear fight? I’d even say there are too many plot twists in this game. Its story is already pretty complex to begin with but they just keep piling it on and piling it on, especially towards the end. My eyes glazed over from time to time as the characters just kept. On. Talking. The game’s plot doesn’t dissolve into Kingdom Hearts levels of ridiculousness, probably due to its darker tone, but it comes dangerously close at times.  

I can overlook these flaws, however. To me, this whole game is about as perfect as you can get when you examine the sum of its parts. I put it right up there with Final Fantasy VII and Ocarina of Time as one of the greatest games of all time. Maybe I’m not being impartial because of all the great memories I have of this game. But I don’t care. I wouldn’t have these memories if this wasn’t an awesome game.

When I hear the word Xenogears, so many wonderful images come to mind. I think of its characters: Bart, Fei, Elly, and Citan Uzuki. The music starts playing in the back of my mind. I think of the game’s locations: Lahan Village, Blackmoon Forest, Babel Tower, the Thames, Shevat, Nisan, Elly’s house in Solaris. I think of the complex plot, I think of Fei and Elly reincarnating through time. I picture Emperor Cain sitting on his throne, surrounded by psychedelic artwork. I think of the Gazel Ministry. I think of Id. I think of Esmeralda, Ramsus, Miang, Sigurd, all of the game’s amazing secondary characters. I think about taking Bart’s kingdom back. I think about killing monsters in the sewer. I think about three Gears nailed to crosses against a gorgeous sunset. I think about the game’s combat, and how satisfying it is stringing up 28 points worth of combo points and unleashing holy hell on my enemies. This whole game just makes me smile.

Have I sold you yet? I hope so. The more people that have played Xenogears out there, the better. If I can get just one person to play this criminally underplayed classic, I feel I’ve done my job here. Play it. You won't regret it.

 

Overall:

A+

 

For reviews of some other RPGs, click here!

Final Fantasy VI

Chrono Trigger

Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy IX

Vandal Hearts

Video Game Review #231: Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

PlayStation 3

Check out my reviews for the other Uncharted games!

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

Uncharted 4: A Thief's End
Uncharted 4 (Re-review)
Uncharted: The Lost Legacy

Nostalgia Factor:

It’s a funny coincidence that I’ve played and reviewed every single “main” title in the Uncharted series except for the original. Back in 2010, this was the first Uncharted title I ever had the pleasure of playing. Over the years I’ve become a pretty big fan of the series, and it has been really interesting watching it evolve and blossom into the phenomenon that it is now. This will be an intriguing review, because normally I start at the beginning of a series and note the improvements made to the series with each passing game. I’m doing the opposite here. We’re going back to the basics. Will the original Uncharted still withstand the test of time? Let’s see.

Story:

This game has the most simplistic story in the entire series. Nate uses an inscription from a family heirloom to determine what he believes to be the resting spot of Sir Francis Drake. Nate retrieves the coffin and finds it empty, save for a journal that gives the location of El Dorado, a mythical city of gold.

Nate heads off with the assistance of best buddy Sully and reporter Elena Fisher to the location of El Dorado, but with this being a video game where treasure hunters are looking for a long lost treasure, of course there is an opposing group in play that they have to race against. This is always a pet peeve of mine in these kinds of games. This treasure has sat untouched for hundreds of years. What are the odds that every time the treasure hunter is about to have a breakthrough, a nefarious group of enemy soldiers tries to force their way in? That treasure has sat peacefully for ages and ages, and all of a sudden two groups close in on it at the EXACT same time and get into a giant, gunfire and explosion-filled scuffle over it? Never fails. Every time.

Anyway, spoiler alert, El Dorado turns out to be not a city but a priceless statue. There’s a catch, however. This statue is “cursed” and turns anyone who comes into contact with its innards into a deadly Gollum-like wall crawly zombie creature. Nate battles against the bad guys who want to bring this dangerous statue to the mainland. Who wins this epic showdown? Ho, ho! You’ll just have to play and find out.

Gameplay:

Not only does this game have a pretty simple storyline compared to other titles in the series, its gameplay is pretty simple as well. Stealth doesn’t play much of a factor. There are no open-world elements to be found here. You don’t even climb and swing and jump on things as much as you do in the other games in the series. This is almost exclusively a straightforward, no-frills shooter.

While I do enjoy what the Uncharted series has evolved into, I actually found this game’s pace pretty refreshing. There’s no filler. No long, convoluted story segments. No time-consuming stages where you simply walk and talk to another character. No segments where you attend parties or gala events. What you get is a fun, fast paced action adventure where you do a lot of shooting. A LOT of shooting.

If you’ve never played an Uncharted title before, the game takes place from a behind-the-back perspective. Controlling Nate, you can run, walk, jump, and climb on things in your environment. Mainly things are pretty linear in this game. You follow a path, shooting enemies and unlocking more of the story as you play. You enter an arena where you kill a bunch of bad guys. This activates more story sequences and unlocks the next area of the game for you. You walk, you follow a path, you kill more enemies, and you proceed.

Much of this game’s fun can be found with the wide variety of weapons at your disposal. You get trophies for killing enemies with all of the different weapons, so I found myself using them all instead of picking a favorite and relying on that. There’s handguns, shotguns, machine guns, sniper rifles, hand grenades, grenade launchers, and much more at your disposal.

When you aren’t running and climbing and shooting at people, the game offers a few variant stages to keep things fresh. There’s a jet ski area where you shoot things from a jet ski. There’s an on-rails shooting level where you shoot people from a mounted rifle on the back of a Jeep. Okay, I guess the common theme here is still shooting things, but at least you aren’t always doing it from your boring old feet.

Graphics:

Considering this game is 13 years old, I think it looks quite good. No, I wouldn’t really qualify it as “gorgeous” or anything, but it definitely stands the test of time. The characters look great. The scenery looks really good. Some of the weather and lighting effects make you stop and look.

It’s also very atmospheric too. There’s a few areas where you’ll find yourself wandering around in the dark with only your flashlight lighting your way. Water filled areas really sell you on the idea that your character is struggling with the water. I have zero complaints about the way this game looks.

Sound: 

The game sounds really good, too. The voice acting is wonderful. The musical score is terrific. The gunfire and the explosions sound just as they should. It’s impressive to think that the original game in a long running series like this has held up so well.

Overall:

I suspected when I first started playing this game that I wouldn’t be very impressed by it, and I would consider it to be far inferior to all the other titles in the series. While it is true that it lacks the polish and the extra features of some of the later games in the series, I still had a lot of fun with it.

It’s fast paced. It’s got really fun and addicting gameplay. The story is simple and easy to understand. The graphics are good. The sound is good. The presentation is top-notch. It’s filled with memorable characters portrayed by solid voice actors.

I’d rank this game ahead of Uncharted 3, which I really didn’t think was that great. It can’t touch the near-perfection of Uncharteds 2, 4, and the Lost Legacy, but then again few games can. Considering that this is the first game in the series, the blueprint that all the other games are built upon, I think I can forgive it for that.

So to answer my original question: does this game withstand the test of time? Absolutely! It may not be the deepest title out there, and it certainly is much shorter than I remember it being (about 7 or 8 hours long). But if you’re looking to sit down and be entertained by a video game you really can’t go wrong with this. This game is good, quality fun.

Final Score:

B+

For a complete index of all my game reviews, click

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