Video Game Review #451: Vectorman 2

Vectorman 2

Genesis

Nostalgia Factor:

The original Vectorman really helped prolong the lifespan of the Sega Genesis. It was 1995, and the 32-bit Saturn had already hit store shelves. I hadn't bought my Saturn yet, but personally I was ready to kiss the Genesis goodbye. Out with the old, in with the new, right?

But then along came Vectorman. I thought it looked so good, I asked for it for Christmas. The game blew me away and quickly became one of my favorite Genesis titles. It was such a hit that it spawned a sequel that came out almost exactly one year later.

By the time the sequel rolled around, I had finally purchased a Sega Saturn and was no longer buying games for the Genesis. I was still very interested in Vectorman 2, though. I rented it from Blockbuster Video and played it for a weekend before returning it and never playing it again for a very long time. Sadly, I didn't enjoy my time with the game. I had read reviews that it was better than the first one, but I did not think so. It was just more of the same, this time with an uninspiring story and frustrating enemies that appear out of nowhere and constantly cheap shot you. The graphics and presentation were still good, but the originality and the fun factor that came with the first game had completely vanished.

I wouldn't play it again until about 2008 or 2009 on the Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection for the PS3. Again, I didn't like it. How would I feel about it in 2023? Would it be three strikes, yer out for Vectorman 2?

Read on for my full breakdown.

 

Story:

I don't have Vectorman 2's instruction manual, so maybe I am missing something. Not much is explained in the game, unlike the first Vectorman - which had a decent if uninspiring story. I mean, at least it had something, which is more than can be said here.

In this game, Vectorman is doing his garbage cleanup job and flying around in space when his vessel is shot down by an unknown assailant. He crash lands back to the planet and fights a bunch of enemies, progressing through a series of levels until he beats an unidentified boss character that looks like a spider. And then the game ends.

Who is this boss character? Who shot Vectorman down? There is almost nothing narratively that explains why Vectorman is fighting and why he is where he is. Is there anything going on here, as far as its story goes? 

Beats me.

Gameplay:

As much as I am harping on this game's story (or lack thereof), its plot doesn't really matter. Is it fun to play? That's all I care about. Unfortunately, it is not.

On the surface this looks just like the original game. Same look, same controls, same feel. It's the stage design and some questionable decisions the programmers made regarding enemy placement and behavior that are different. 

Stage design is flat out weird. Some stages feel like the original game, but others don't fit at all. There are 22 stages in this game, and most of them can be beaten in a minute or two by just racing to the level exit. Other stages are big and labyrinthine and can be challenging to navigate. Like the forest stage, for example. You have to make your way through a large forest, jumping from branch to branch until you navigate your way to the end. There is knockback in this game, so you are going to constantly find yourself getting hit and knocked back down to the ground again. Then you have to start your slow ascent. This happened to me a LOT. Seriously, this stage was getting on my last nerve and it was only, what, the third stage of the game?  

Another odd stage design involves the roller skating levels. You roller skate through what looks like an old abandoned office complex or something like that. You move too fast. Momentum carries you right into enemies. It's difficult to time your jumps. The levels are just a pain in the arse to play through. And what does this game decide to do? Give you three of these stages, randomly placed throughout the game. When you think you are done and can kiss these levels goodbye, here comes another one.

The game constantly finds itself caught between being too hard and too easy. One stage you'll race through and complete in a minute and a half, the next one you find yourself dying ten times. Some consistency would be nice.

Aside from the stage design, the enemies suck too. This game is filled, and I mean FILLED with what I call "gotcha" moments. Enemies pop up off the side of the screen without enough time to avoid them. You'll come across blind jumps where you don't know where you are going to land. Nine times out of ten, it'll be on an enemy, or between two of them. Bullets and projectiles hit you from seemingly nowhere. Flying enemies swoop in and hit you before you have time to react. When you kill them, they respawn and immediately come right back after you.

I'm all for a difficult platformer. I'm a big fan of Contra, Ninja Gaiden, Mega Man, etc. But I consider those games to be fair in their difficulty. When you lose a life, it is because you screwed up, not because the game came up with some new kind of way to pull a "gotcha!" on you when you were least expecting it. This game is one big gotcha.

Not to say it is a complete failure. I enjoyed some of the boss battles. I like the different enemy forms Vectorman can take. I liked the bonus stages. I liked exploring each stage and collecting as many items as I could. I like the levels where you have to "dig" your way out of the dirt. I especially liked the tank levels, and considered them to be a fun break from the normal action. They have a bit of a Moon Patrol vibe to them.

Unfortunately, none of these pluses are enough to change my mind on the game. Overall I still found it to be a frustrating and forgettable experience. I didn't like it when I first played it. I didn't like it in 2008. I didn't like it in 2023. Three strikes and you're out, indeed.

Graphics:

Without question, the graphics are the best thing Vectorman 2 has going for it. First thing I noticed were the lighting effects when Vectorman fires his weapon. It lights up the whole screen, which is good because some of the early levels can be a bit dark.

You'll notice a marked improvement in character animation. Vectorman moves smoother than ever. He is portrayed with greater detail. Most of the enemies look good too. Sometimes they get a little boring, like you are fighting the same thing over and over again.

But what really makes this game stand out are the terrific background environments. It's tough to fully appreciate in a still image, but the tornado effects in the screenshot above look really, really great. Very immersive and well animated. Other stages are beautiful in their own way, such as the lava stages and the forest stages. I did not like the roller skate levels. They look bland, and to make matters worse, the game reuses these backgrounds far too many times.

Sound:

Right away, the game gives you a blast of that classic Vectorman music from the first game. Immediately got me into the mood to play this game. Part of me thought in the back of my mind that they should have come up with a new theme song. But they didn't.

The game sounds just like the first one. Stage music is good and has that techno beat to it. I wouldn't say anything in particular stood out to me. I finished this game about five days ago and I can't think of one single original song from this game that stands out in my mind. Drawing a complete blank. I remember the soundtrack being good, though. Oh well.

The sound effects, on the other hand, are very memorable. The sound of firing your weapon, picking up items, the timer running out, etc. are all classic Vectorman. They sound terrific.

 

Overall:

If only we were grading this game on its audio and visual presentation, Vectorman 2 would do quite well. This is possibly the Genesis at the brink of its capabilities. You won't find very many games that look or sound better than this.

But the game isn't any fun. I'm sorry, but it's not. I play these games to have fun. All 450 reviews I've written so far have all boiled down to one thing: am I having fun playing this? Generally I am pretty easy to please. My last several reviews have all been in the A range. Even if the game isn't great, just give me an enjoyable time at the very least, and you get a B. I can't say Vectorman 2 is average. Definitely below that. But by how much?

Sadly, this game had a lot of potential. I love the first Vectorman. I'll post the link to my original review of that title below. But this game, even though it looks and plays like the first game, is nowhere near as good, unless you like getting cheap shotted left and right, no matter how cautiously you make your way through the game. I wanted to explore these big levels and collect things, but I felt that I had to constantly push forward because I was always under fire. You get hit a lot. You die a lot. I had some success just rushing to the level exit and not exploring, but where is the fun in that?

It all comes down to execution. This game almost had it. Almost. Fix some fundamental flaws, and I probably would have really liked this game. Unfortunately, we don't live in an alternate reality where this game is good. Three strikes, you're out. I have learned my lesson. I'm never playing Vectorman 2 again.

THE GRADE:

D

My review of the original

Vectorman

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Video Game Review #450: Metroid Fusion

Metroid Fusion

Game Boy Advance

Nostalgia Factor:

I've recently discovered the Game Boy Advance, and I have to say that I have been very impressed with many of its offerings. In particular, Metroid: Zero Mission is a game that I really, really enjoyed. It reinvigorated my interest in Metroid, and has made me want to play through other games in the series that I've never checked out before. Metroid Fusion is one such title.

I've heard lots of good things about Metroid Fusion over the years, but I've always written it off because of its handheld status. Well, now that I am taking the Game Boy Advance more seriously, I knew I had to give the game a shot. Would it live up to the high praise?

An emphatic yes! Read on for my full thoughts.

Story:

I'm the type of person who likes to play through things chronologically. My original intent was to play through the Metroid series in order. After all, I have played and reviewed the original NES Metroid and Metroid: Zero Mission - its remake. These are the first games chronologically in the series. I wasn't sure where Fusion took place, but I figured I'd play it anyway since Metroid games typically are not plot heavy.

As luck would have it, this is one of the very last games in the Metroid timeline. Go figure! But that was okay. In the past (my pre-blog days) I had played several Metroid games out of order, like Prime, Prime 2, Other M, and Super Metroid. I'd put the pieces together eventually.

In this game, Samus is infected by a mysterious X parasite while on the surface of a planet. Her life in danger, scientists inject her with a vaccine containing Metroid DNA to try and combat this parasite, since the Metroid is its natural predator. Samus is saved. Both she and her suit become super powered with the Metroid and X infusion. When there is an explosion at a nearby space station, Samus is sent to investigate. There, she discovers the X has gone rampant and is overtaking the station. She sets out on a mission to stop it.

While on her mission, Samus is stalked by the S-AX, which has chosen to mimic Samus's physical form. It kind of shows up from time to time to scare you, but it cannot be defeated in battle. You have to hide from it or run. These segments always made me think of The Terminator.

Samus discovers that there are Metroids hidden in the station's laboratory. The Federation (or whatever it is called) is experimenting on them to try and use them "for the good of humanity." It's just like Weiland-Tutani in Alien. Will humanity ever learn? 

Samus decides the only way to wipe out the X is to destroy the station. The Federation tries to stop her, because they want to use the X "for the good of humanity" as well. Sigh. Samus sweet talks the station's security system, which she names Adam after some guy named Adam from a previous game. In a touching moment, Adam demonstrates the humanity of its namesake by defying Federation orders and allowing Samus to set the auto destruct timer and escape.

Samus battles through the S-AX clone and the Omega Metroid as time winds down. She gets in her ship and takes off just in the nick of time. The end.

I have to say, this is the single best storyline in a Metroid game I have ever played. The storylines for these games have always been second fiddle to the gameplay in my opinion. This is the first Metroid game where the story really stands out on its own, and is memorable. To top it off, the game is a blast to play, too. It is almost the perfect package.

Gameplay:

This game is very easy to pick up and play. Right off the bat I took notice of the crisp, responsive controls. Moving left, right, jumping, ducking, and firing your gun all came as second nature to me. I also enjoyed the space station setting of the game as well. It's much more of a familiar setting than the usual dark alien planet full of caves and caverns. Not even one minute into the game, I was like "yeah, I'm gonna have fun with this one."

If you are familiar with Metroid, you should be familiar with the formula of the game. You've got a big, open 2D environment. Many areas are blocked off or unavailable to you when you first come across them. You have to find weapon or character upgrades later on, and then backtrack to access areas you couldn't before.

There is a main hub in the space station - the habitation level. There are six different sections that peel off from that main hub. One is a rainforest habitat, one is a laboratory, one is shrouded in darkness, etc. They all bring something unique that adds to the diversity of the game's environment. Since you are on a space station, just simply walking around a bunch of metal corridors that all look the same would have been boring, so I am glad they spiced things up a bit.

Throughout the course of the game you are going to be visiting each of these six sectors. The game's navigation computer guides you where you need to go, and marks your destination on the map. While this may seem a bit hand-holdy at first, you'll quickly realize that things are not so straightforward. You may know where you need to go, but when you find your path blocked off, it is all up to you to figure out what you have to do next. Not gonna lie, I turned to the internet for help on a few occasions when I was getting stuck.

I like the map system. Everything is very user friendly and easy to figure out. I know some people probably like the "wandering blindly" aspect of Metroid, but I like to be guided in the right direction. Life's too short for that shit.

Power ups are a little different here. When you destroy an enemy, it releases some kind of X cloud into the air that you have to collect. Yellow is for health and green is for missiles. If you don't get them quick enough, they'll either regroup and form a brand new enemy, or zap over to an existing enemy and make them stronger and more powerful. I totally loved this added wrinkle. Definitely makes the game more interesting and adds a much needed spark to the usual Metroid formula.

Bosses in this game are plentiful. They hover right on the edge of being too hard and too easy. Too easy in the sense that their patterns are easily recognizable, and you can adapt your strategy quickly. Too hard in the sense that they deal a MASSIVE amount of damage to you. If you get stuck in a corner or if the boss breaks its pattern and catches you in its crosshairs, you are going to be in for a world of hurt.

That leads me to my next talking point: the difficulty. I "save scummed" my way through this game, so I didn't have too tough of a time with this. But the enemies deal huge amounts of damage to you, unlike anything I've seen in past Metroid games. For example, I'll have nine health tanks and full health. I will make my way through an enemy-infested corridor, getting hit about three or four times. When I emerge from that corridor, I'll find that I'm down to one health tank left. WTF? How much damage are these enemies inflicting?

If I had played through this game without save states, no doubt I would have found myself dying dozens and dozens of times. The game is pretty generous with its save points, but this would have still been pretty annoying to me. Not a game breaker or anything, but still annoying.

Overall, I still found the game to be quite enjoyable. This is perhaps the best 2D Metroid I have ever played. Granted, I have only played Metroid, Zero Mission, and Super Metroid. But those are all widely heralded games. For this to be mentioned in the same breath is quite the accomplishment. And the idea that it is even better than those games? Let's just say that this will bode well when it comes time for me to post my final grade.

Graphics:

Don't let the fact that this is a handheld game scare you off. This game looks incredible, and it easily could be passed off for a 16-bit title. If you just handed me the controller and didn't tell me what system I was playing, I would have guessed that this is a Super Nintendo game. And a gorgeous one at that.

Samus looks great. The sprite and character design is wonderful. The cutscenes are awesome. The level design is top notch. I love all the little environmental effects you run across. Everything is bursting with color and personality. Definitely a fantastic looking game.

Sound:

Right off the bat, the game greets you with a twist on that classic Metroid intro tune, this time infused with music that sounds like it was ripped straight from Star Fox. Whatever it is, it works. 

The music of Metroid Fusion definitely helps make this entire game a very immersive and atmospheric experience. The sound effects do their part as well. You really feel like you're a part of this big, action-packed science fiction romp on a space station. The only thing this game is lacking is a new original tune of its own. Something you hear and immediately shout out: "that's from Metroid Fusion!" I feel as if in two weeks you played this game's soundtrack for me, intermixed with music from other Metroid games, I wouldn't be able to tell you which songs came from this game and which ones didn't.

Overall:

If you've been paying any attention to this review whatsoever, you should know by now that I really liked playing this game. I've only played and reviewed two Metroid games so far for this blog, but this is easily the best of the three. As much as I like the original Metroid, when I think back on my time with that game, it is nowhere near as good as my time with this one. I gave both that game and Metroid: Zero Mission the score of A. If Fusion is better than both of these games, does that mean it should automatically get an A+?

On principal, no. After all, I gave Zero Mission an A as well even though I said it was better than the original Metroid. I think I overrated the original Metroid just a little bit. But all of that is a moot point because this game deserves an A+ on its own merits. I just can't see 2D Metroid games getting any better than this. This is the greatest Metroid game I have ever played. And the fact that I expected so little out of it, and I wrote it off as "just a handheld game" is one of the craziest things about it. This game came out in 2002 and I am just playing it now in 2023 for the first time ever. That's just wild to me. 21 years.

Should you play Metroid Fusion? Yes. Don't walk to the game, run! If you're a fan of Metroid or a fan of this type of game in general and you haven't played this, you are missing out big time. Don't make the same mistake I did and keep putting it off!

THE GRADE:

A+

If you liked this review, check out some of these other game reviews:

Metroid

Metroid: Zero Mission

Axiom Verge

Blaster Master

Blaster Master Zero

For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click

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Video Game Review #449: Blast Corps

Blast Corps

Nintendo 64

Nostalgia Factor:

Most people nowadays have forgotten all about Blast Corps, but when I was a kid this game was a big deal. It was an early release for the Nintendo 64, and I remember being completely blown away by the wide open areas, the hidden secrets, and the amazing explosions and visual effects.

I never actually purchased this game, but I liked it so much that I ended up renting it from Blockbuster Video twice. Both times I would end up getting stuck on the exact same mission - Oyster Harbor. Little did I know at the time that I was very, very close to beating the game. But I just couldn't figure this mission out.

Decades would pass before I would give Blast Corps another shot. It came out in 1997 and here I am in 2023 finally coming back to it in order to complete some unfinished business. It might have taken me 26 years, but I was going to beat this game once and for all.

Story:

This game has an absolutely ridiculous storyline, but for one reason or another it still works. A nuclear tanker has gone out of control. If it hits anything it will detonate, likely killing millions of people in the process. It's your goal as a member of the Blast Corps to clear the way for the tanker so it can continue its slow roll forward. You have to demolish buildings, knock down street signs, and pretty much destroy any obstacles that may get in this tanker's way. If it hits even one little thing: boom. You failed.

And that's pretty much the whole game. Don't expect any more depth than that. It's basically Speed meets Rampage - except you are destroying buildings with vehicles instead of giant monsters.

After you've cleared the way to the test site, you then have to collect six missing scientists who can assist with the safe detonation of the tanker. In a very typical Rare twist, you have to revisit old levels to find these missing scientists. After you have done so, the tanker arrives at its destination and is safely detonated. Phew!

But wait! Before the Blast Corps can relax, a few bonus missions involving outer space become available to you. Really, this game is bonkers - and I'm 100% here for it.

Gameplay:

The concept of each stage is very simple: destroy everything in the path of the tanker before it has the chance to collide with any objects. If the tanker hits anything, it explodes and you have to start the stage over again. There are no lives in this game, so you can keep retrying each stage an infinite number of times before you pass it. The game is also non-linear, meaning you can select most stages to play through in any order you'd like. So if you are struggling with one stage, you can exit out, pick another stage, and come back to the one you were struggling with later.

There are a variety of vehicles you use as you make your way throughout the game. Each has its own unique function and control set. The bulldozer is very straightforward: just run into whatever you want to demolish. In the occasion you come across a building that can't be knocked down, you can use the bulldozer to push bombs into it to take it down. There's also a dump truck that you can use to swing into buildings to knock them down, but controlling this thing can be a major hassle. I understand the concept of swinging your caboose into things, but it can be very hard to pull off. Some levels it works great, while other levels the thing just won't skid at all. It just turns where you want it to turn. The lack of consistency drove me nuts as I was playing this!

Hmm... what else is there? There is a motorcycle-looking thing that fires missiles. There is a robot that rolls into buildings. A flying robot that comes crashing down onto buildings. There's a yellow truck that smashes powerful beams out from both of its sides. You can even control things like trains, boats, police cars, cranes, and race cars to get you to and fro.

While the concept of Blast Corps seems straightforward, the game is filled with lots of nuance. You can't just go around smashing things with no strategy. Using the terrain comes in handy. You can drive over hills and ramps to go flying into the air, which allows you to take down buildings more effectively. The game also has you switching vehicles in the middle of the mission quite often. You may start off in the dump truck, but you might reach an area where you have to hop onto a train and ride it for a little while to get to the next area. Exit the train and hop into a bulldozer to finish the level. The game progressively gets harder and harder as you go. You really have to get creative trying to find ways through some of these missions. It almost becomes more of a puzzle game than anything else. I got stuck quite often playing through this, because I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do next. But I didn't mind this at all. Look at how repetitive a game like Rampage can be. This game benefits greatly from the strategy aspect. It gives things a lot of life and longevity.

This game is also filled with bonuses and collectibles. You get bonus points for rescuing civilians. There are hidden satellites you can activate periodically throughout the game. There are little light-up pods on the ground that act as collectibles when you drive over them. While everything seems straightforward at first, I had a blast (pun intended) coming back to some of these levels and mopping up everything I left behind. As I mentioned earlier, the game makes you revisit some old stages to rescue scientists to help you successfully detonate the tanker. I loved these stages, as the game really flexes its creative muscles with its puzzles and environments. A stage may look like a simple farm field your first time through it, but coming back to revisit it, you'll notice just a TON of hidden stuff you didn't see before.

I came into this game expecting to only mildly enjoy it from the memories I have of it as a kid. Turns out it exceeded all my expectations quite easily. This is a surprisingly deep and fun game, and it has definitely jumped into my top ten Nintendo 64 titles after this playthrough.

Graphics:

This game was a visual masterpiece when it first came out. While it definitely shows its age nowadays with its slowdown, choppiness, ugly pixels, and muddy textures, I forgive it for that. The world of the game is so fun, bright, and creative. Things may look simple on the surface but when you really dive into this game, you can't help but be impressed by its depth.

Explosions and special effects still look really good. I like the small little details like the shiny textures of the robot vehicles you can command. This game definitely looks and feels like a Nintendo 64 game, but in the very best possible way.

 

Sound:

I just love this game's music. It's classic Rare at its finest. You hear everything from honky-tonk country themes, similar to what you hear in Banjo-Kazooie, to music that sounds like it is inspired by Goldeneye (although this came out first). Everything is fast, upbeat, and super catchy. Really gets you in the mood to wreck some shit.

I like the little snippets of voice acting, too. I really looked forward to hearing "you're just trying to impress me" at the end of each successful mission. It males everything worth it. 

Overall:

This game has no business being this good. I picked it up with the expectation that I'd like it, but it wouldn't be anything special in the long run. There's a reason it has been forgotten by so many people, right?

Well those people are STOOPID. You can even throw me into that category for ignoring this game's existence for the last 20 some years. This is a great game. It's nonstop fun from beginning to end. I had a blast completing the missions, discovering the secrets, and exploring everything this game has to show you. It's a surprisingly deep titles that you can play in a myriad of ways. Want to sit down and waste a whole day on this game? Go ahead. Want to play it in short bursts? A mission here, a mission there? That works too. In fact, that's how I played the majority of this game until I made it to the end. Then I dedicated a few hours straight to sit down and finish this thing off.

There's not much I can say about this game that is bad. Normally when a game pulls some nonsense on you and makes you replay old levels to find things you missed, it irritates me. Look at Ultimate Ghosts 'n Goblins or Jet Force Gemini, two games I didn't even bother to finish. With this game, I happily went back to comb through those old levels.

When I first sat down to write this review, I intended to give it a B something and call it a day. Now that I've actually sat down and reflected on the game, it is so much better than that. The fact that this game has been ignored for so long is practically a crime. If you have the means to play Blast Corps, go out and play it now.

THE GRADE:

A

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Video Game Review #448: BurgerTime

BurgerTime

Arcade

Nostalgia Factor:

While I would not classify BurgerTime as one of my favorite arcade games of all time, it's always been a game that I HAVE to play whenever I see it out in the wild. If I'm out at a bar, arcade, bowling alley, movie theater - whatever - and I see a BurgerTime unit, I'm playing it. I don't care what you say.

There's just something inherently fun and appealing about the game's concept to me, even though I've never been good at it. Who wouldn't want to play as a tiny little chef, running around and making burgers by dropping them on your enemies?

BurgerTime came out in 1982, the same year I was born. In fact, I am about one month older than this game. We both turn 41 together this year. How would it hold up after all this time? Let's find out!

Story:

As far as I know, this game doesn't have a story. Nothing on Wikipedia. Nothing contained within the game itself. You're just a chef, running from your life from a bunch of killer food items as you scramble to create giant, oversized hamburgers. Nothing to see here. Totally normal.

Gameplay:

To me, this game has always had such a fun concept. You're a chef. You run around on a puzzle board with lots of ladders going up and down. You have to avoid the enemy foods that are running after you (pickles, hot dogs, etc) and run across platforms made of burger ingredients. When you run over a piece, it drops to the level of the puzzle board below you. Drop them all the way to the bottom to stack ingredients. The goal is to create fully put-together burgers using all the ingredients you are given.

Not only are the concept and the characters super quirky and cool, the game gives you the chance to defend yourself in some pretty fun ways. When you run across a burger ingredient and drop it to the level below, you can strategically time these out so you can crush the enemies below you. If you run across an ingredient and release it while an enemy is hot on your trail, the enemy not only falls and dies, but the ingredient drops an extra two levels. This is something I did not know coming in. I didn't realize this was happening until at least the tenth virtual quarter I popped into this game. Once I did, I made sure to take full advantage.

The game also gives you pepper that you can use to freeze your enemies in place for a few seconds. You are only given three of these when you start a game, so use them sparingly. You earn more as you collect more points. You can also collect extra ones when food items like popcorn appear on the screen. They don't stay on the screen long, however, so you have to collect them quickly. These pepper sprays come in great handy as you play, and are almost like get out of jail free cards when you are cornered. Using them strategically is key to doing well playing this game.

Each quarter you pop in gives you three lives. You earn more lives as you collect points. I believe there are six stage layouts. Once you cycle through them all, the game gets much faster and much harder. I can barely make it through three or four of the normal stages before the cycle begins. I used save states to cheese my way through the first cycle, and immediately the game became too hard for me - even cheating using save states. I don't know how a human player could realistically expect to make it past level seven or eight. When you run out of lives in this game, you are done. There are no continues. Putting in another quarter simply starts you at the beginning of the game with your score back at zero.

This is definitely what I consider a "high score" game. There is no beating BurgerTime. You just really want to get the highest score. Normally I am not a big fan of games like this (Pac-Man, Satan's Hollow, Space Invaders, etc) but BurgerTime is one of the exceptions. I am a big Frogger fan as well. There's just something fun, charming, and addicting about this game. Even though I know I suck at it, and even though I know I can't beat it, it still calls to me. That's the mark of a great game.

Graphics:

Really, this game has aged well. It looks simple, sure. But is that a bad thing? It has a timeless and clean look to it. Cute little characters. Simple yet creative stage design. The layered burger pieces and random food items you collect are instantly recognizable. The theme is amazing. You can almost smell the food cooking as you play. Charm. This game exudes it, particularly the when you are playing on the physical arcade unit itself. Lots and lots of charm.

Sound:

There's nothing really special about this game's music. I am not going to catch myself rocking out to it while listening to a video game music playlist. It's serviceable. It fits the theme of the game. It's fun and upbeat. It does what it is supposed to do. Sound effects are good too. Exactly what you'd expect from a game of this era. Everything is fine here. Yup. Just fine, thank you.

Overall:

I am sure you can tell by reading my summary of this game that I really liked it. I know I said earlier that I wouldn't classify BurgerTime as one of my favorite arcade games ever made, but after further reflection I am beginning to reconsider that stance. 

This game is a classic, and there is no doubt about that in my mind. I love the concept, I love the graphics, and I love the gameplay. Like I said, if I see this arcade unit out in the wild, I am going to take the time to stop and play it. It is fun and addicting, and I am proud to say that BurgerTime and I were "born" in the same year.

This is a game that needs to be played. It can't be beaten, you are only playing for a high score. Normally I don't enjoy these types of games, but BurgerTime is one of the few exceptions to that rule. 

THE GRADE:

A

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Video Game Review #447: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Nintendo Wii

Nostalgia Factor:

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is probably the 3D Zelda game I am the least familiar with. Ocarina of Time and Wind Waker are two of my favorite games of all time, and I have spent a lot of time with them. I've played through Skyward Sword a couple of times. I have only played through Majora's Mask one time, but it is still relatively fresh on my mind.

I've played through Twilight Princess twice before in my life. One time when the game first came out, for the GameCube. A couple of years later I played through it after I traded my GameCube copy in for the Wii version. My reasoning for doing that was because the Wii version probably had better graphics, plus I liked the fact that motion controls were involved with the swinging of the sword. Motion controls were big and his was something that appealed to me back then.

Both times I played through the game, I liked it, but I didn't completely lose my mind over it. This has always been a very middle of the road Zelda game in my opinion. Not quite up there with the greats, but not bad enough to be considered a lower echelon entry to the series.

How would I feel about it now, in the year 2023? Let's dive in, shall we?

Story:

The game begins in a time of peace. Link lives in a small village, helping herd goats at a local farm. The local kids all look up to him. He's crushing on a girl named Ilia. Life is good.

In typical Zelda fashion, the peace doesn't last long. Link is dragged away on a journey to save Hyrule from the dark world, which has begun to encroach on the world of light. Link turns into a wolf while visiting the dark world and teams up with Midna to gather the Mirror Shards and defeat the evil sorcerer Zant. Spoiler alert: Zant is revealed to be the underling of the one and only Ganon - who is the true villain of the game.

I am no expert as far as Zelda canon goes, but I think this is supposed to be a distant sequel to Ocarina of Time. Link is the hero reborn. The Ganon in the game is the same one from Ocarina of Time, free from his prison. Link learns battle tactics from a mysterious skeleton warrior, which I've heard rumors is the spirit of adult Link from Ocarina of Time.

Zelda games are never known for deep or emotionally gripping storylines. While this game's story is decent while the game lasts, it is never something I'm going to look back on and be like "yeah! Such a memorable story that I'll remember forever!"

Gameplay:

I played this game on the Wii, so I am going to do all my complaining about the motion controls right away. They're annoying. I know that it seemed like a good idea when the game first came out. Motion controls were new and exciting. I even traded in my GameCube copy of the game for this version because of the motion controls. But they are a pain in the butt.

The GameCube controller works much better. I don't like having to shake the controller to do an attack, or thrust the nunchuk forward to do a shield attack. Those were so hard to pull off, for me. I also don't like having to point the controller at the TV when going into first person mode to use items, like the bow and arrow. I'd much rather use the regular controller for that. And the fishing. Ugh, I hated the fishing. The game does not explain how to use the pole or what you are supposed to do. I was shaking and jerking the pole all over the place whenever I would get a bite. I wasted hours on an early part in the game where you need to catch fish in order to collect a missing cat. Turns out you are just supposed to hold the pole still vertically to reel in the fish. Why couldn't they have told me that!

This game does get off to a very slow and tedious start. That is probably one of the most common complaints you'll hear about the game. Not only does the fishing suck, you have to partake in goat herding missions that are on a timer. I didn't fail when playing the game this time around, but I remember when I first played this game it took me soooo long to get through this part. Questions of its difficulty aside - it is time consuming and completely unnecessary. Between the goat herding, the fishing, the weird bird-controlling thing that you never do at any other point in the game, and the mindless wandering around and aimlessly talking to townfolk, the beginning of this game has absolutely no forward momentum whatsoever.

It isn't until several hours into the game that it picks up. Probably around the time that Link is turned into a wolf. The rest of the game feels more like a standard Zelda game, probably most comparable to Ocarina of Time. Same look, same feel, but not as fun. Ocarina of Time is nearly flawless from beginning to end. This game trips and stumbles many times along the way. Not to say this a bad game. Far from it. I just feel that it often comes across as a cheap imitation of Ocarina of Time meant only to appease the fair weather Zelda fans that moaned and complained about the cartoonish look of Wind Waker.

The dungeons aren't as good as Ocarina. The world design isn't as good as Ocarina. It is missing the personality of Ocarina, along with the iconic storytelling and visual setting. The controls are similar, the combat is similar, and you actually have a lot more weapons and items at your display this time around. Some of them are quite unique, like the giant ball and chain, or the giant spinning disc. Like I said, however, this game often comes across as a cheap imitation, and I definitely noticed how it lacked the magic and the charm of Ocarina of Time.

What this game does well is how big everything is. The Lake Hylia area is huge. Hyrule Field is massive. Castle Town is bustling and full of interesting characters and shops. There are lots of things to do, like hunt for hidden treasure chests and heart pieces, collect insects, fish, play gambling minigames, and collect Poe spirits. You don't always have to focus on simply the task at hand.

Like most Zelda games, you move from dungeon to dungeon, collecting new items that allow you to backtrack and access areas you couldn't before. The main plot is moved along in a linear fashion, but it is up to you what you want to do in between dungeons. Exploring and talking to everyone will prove beneficial, as the areas in between dungeons are almost like dungeons themselves. I remember Majora's Mask being very similar, in the sense that you often have to solve puzzles or accomplish certain tasks before you're allowed to move to the next area of the game. Some of these are fun and quick to complete. Others are frustrating and annoying. An example of annoying is when you have to restore Ilia's memory before you can access the Sky Temple. If you didn't have a strategy guide or an online walkthrough handy you'd have no idea what to do next. You'd literally have to go everywhere on the map and hope you just blindly stumble into what you are looking for. I didn't have the internet when I first played this game back in what, 2006? But my goal was to 100% the game and see everything and do every sidequest and catch every bug. I didn't notice how annoying this was back then. Playing it now in my old age - I found myself getting stuck left and right. Maybe a little patience and some added exploration would have done me good, but I quickly and shamelessly turned to internet guides and walkthroughs to get me through these tough spots.

The dungeons are fun, but again - not as good as Ocarina's. Not as good as Wind Waker or even some of Skyward Sword's either. The Water Temple is the worst. The gimmick of how you have to slant the water down is annoying to me and never seems to make any sense. Many of the dungeons "click" and are really fun to play through, however. They may lack that iconic flair of other Zelda games, but they are still fun and engaging. There are times I was playing this where I was able to zone out and get out into that special Zelda-playing groove.

One thing I have to touch on before we move on is the gimmick of how you can turn into a wolf in this game. In the early-goings, wolf and human exploits are separate. As the game progresses, you can switch between them at will. Why would you want to play as the wolf? He's faster and better in battle, he can cross ropes, and he has a team-up move with Midna where he can teleport across long distances. He can also switch to the dark world at will, where he can find hidden items and dig spots or fight enemies that normal Link can't even see. You often have to use the wolf form to follow scent trails that tell you where you need to go next.

I have always liked the wolf twist in this game. It definitely sets Twilight Princess apart from the other Zeldas.  I'm sure it gets referred to as "the one with the wolf" quite often.

Graphics:

Back in 2006, this was the Zelda game everyone was waiting for. They wanted to see Ocarina of Time with the graphics of present day. Many people were disappointed in the cartoonish look of Wind Waker. Twilight Princess always felt like an attempt to right that wrong.

The game does look good. Basically anything ugly or unappealing about Ocarina has been cleaned up to perfection. The characters, environments, and special effects are amazing. Some of the cutscenes have a cinematic flair to them. I played a good portion of the game in the dark with headphones, and I have to say that this is the way to go. Very atmospheric and engaging at times.

I have to give a shoutout to the "dark world" graphics with the neon red and blue lines with the black backdrops. Very reminiscent of the Tron area in Kingdom Hearts 2. I've always loved that.

As much as I've praised this game, I do say that it could have used some more color. I don't know if it is because it is a Wii game but everything seemed a bit muted and "grey."

Sound:

It's rare you find a Zelda game with bad sound quality, and this game is no exception. Everything sounds amazing, from the music to the sound effects. All the classic Zelda sounds are present as you play through this game. The chest opening music, the little jingle that plays when you uncover a secret. Iconic. Shoutout to the sound the game makes when you teleport somewhere. It fits right in with all the other classic Zelda sound effects.

As far as original music goes, I don't think this game contains anything too earth shattering. Nothing is standing out in my mind, except for the eerie dark world music. It's not even that this music is catchy or anything. It's just very atmospheric and gives the whole game kind of a dire feel to it. 

Overall:

If Ocarina of Time did not exist, I'd probably think more highly of this game. I like the environments, the music, the graphics, the fun items, all that good stuff. The wolf twist gives the game its own unique entity. That said, the game is still missing that "special something" that would cement it in my mind as an all-time classic. It is almost there, but not quite. I don't know if it is because it is sitting in Ocarina's shadow, or what. But even after playing through this game three times now in my life, I still haven't made any kind of connection to it whatsoever. It's a good game, but not a special game in my opinion.

As far as all-time Zelda games go, I'd probably rank it somewhere below Majora's Mask and above Skyward Sword.

THE GRADE:

B+

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