Video Game Review: Game of Thrones (Telltale Games)

Game of Thrones

PlayStation 3

I think I have reviewed more games from Telltale than I have any other developer. While there were a few games I didn't like (see Back to the Future or the Wolf Among us) I did really enjoy the Walking Dead series. In fact, the first Walking Dead nabbed one of the few perfect scores ever handed out by me.

Being a huge fan of Game of Thrones (and I mean, a HUGE fan) it was only a matter of time before I got this game. This game came out in installments, and I am one to wait for all the installments to come out for a game like this before making a purchase. I can usually get a pretty good deal. In fact, I think I got this game for 10 bucks. Plus when I do it this way I don't have to wait for a long period of time in between installments for the next one to come out. So it was a win for me.

It just so happens that at the time in my life I got this game, I was reading through the series for the third time. I was on a Storm of Swords. Plus I was watching through the TV show in conjunction with reading the novels. That put me at season 3. This game is set during the time period of a Storm of Swords, so it all worked out perfectly.

Being a big GoT buff, I wasn't sure what to expect from this. Would it be true to the world of the show and the books? Would it take liberties? Would it change things completely? I was ready at a moments notice to dislike this title. Luckily, that moment never came.

The game uses the events of the show as a backdrop to the story of the game. So while people like Cersei and Margaery are in the game, their fates aren't changed by what happens here. So you aren't going to see Cersei beheaded or Margaery banging Jon Snow or anything like that. This is simply a story that runs parallel to the events of season 3 and 4 of the show. The main characters hail from the Forrester family, a small Northern house loyal to the Starks. They are the main producers of Ironwood, the strongest and most durable wood in the Seven Kingdoms

During the Red Wedding, Lord Forrester and his forces are destroyed and Ramsay Bolton rises to power in the North. In the ensuing chaos. the Forrester's rivals, the Whitehills, start to move in on Forrester territory. With the backing of the Boltons, the Whitehills occupy Ironrath, home of the Forresters, where they proceed to terrorize the Forrester family.

I will try not to spoil too much, but this is set in the Song of Ice and Fire universe, so expect a lot of bad things to happen to the Forresters as they struggle to stay afloat against long odds.

Playable characters include Mira Forrester - a handmaiden for Margaery Tyrell in King's Landing who attempts to sway the ruling powers to intervene and help out her family. There is Rodrik Forrester, a son of the late Lord Forrester who is grievously wounded in the battle outside the Twins during the Red Wedding. He returns to Ironrath injured to find his house in shambles and the Whitehills in charge. There is Asher Forrester, an exiled sellsword who has taken up residence in Slaver's Bay. When word reaches him of his family's peril, he tries to get together an army and return to the North to retake his land. The last main character is Garet Tuttle, a squire for the Forresters who is sent to the wall after killing the man who murdered his family.

Over the course of the game, you will fall in love with the Forrester family. They are strong, they have a solid sense of right and wrong. They will do whatever it takes to save their house. You just want their suffering to end, and at any cost. You will encounter many characters from the show during your play through of the game. Jon Snow encounters Garet Tuttle at the Wall. Cersei, Tyrion, and Margaery encounter Mira in King's Landing. Ramsay Bolton pays a visit to Ironrath on a few occasions. To land his sellsword army, Asher has to run missions for Daenerys Targaryen in Slaver's Bay.

As is usually the case with Telltale games, the choices you make play a large role in how the game unfolds for you. I don't know just HOW differently things are if you play through the game twice and make different choices (as of this blog post I have only beaten the game once) but I think that your choices make even bigger waves than in previous Telltale games. For example in my play through (spoilers!!) Mira is beheaded, Rodrik is killed, Asher is grievously wounded, and basically I have lost my battle to save the house. I always like to play as a dick, so perhaps if I were to play through again making wiser choices things would be much better for House Forrester. I don't know. Maybe you are destined to lose. But I don't think this is the case.

Graphically, the game is great. It looks like a graphic novel come to life. Nothing to complain about in the sound department either. All the characters from the show who appear in the game are voiced by their respective actors and actresses, so that is nice. Everything controls... fine. If you have played the Walking Dead you should know what to expect here. You don't really play these kinds of games for the game play. You play for the story. And the story is definitely worth the price of admission.

If I did have to nitpick, I would bring up something that has plagued nearly every Telltale game I have played: glitches. They seem especially prevalent here. So many times this game locked up on me for minutes at a time. It wouldn't freeze completely, but just enough to make me consider hitting the restart button only to have it start working again. This was especially bad in the final battle of the game. Every time the camera would move to a new shot, the game would freeze up, sometimes for as long as three or four minutes. I finished what should have been a 5 minute battle in nearly a half an hour. It was ridiculous. On other occasions, the audio would outpace the action on the screen, or voices would be left out entirely.

Plus - and I don't know if this is because of the paths I took or what - the ending of the game feels a little bit too wide open. Like things haven't been resolved AT ALL. It just stops and leaves you hanging for the inevitable sequel. That kinda pissed me off.

That said, I find it hard to find fault with anything else here. Being a big GoT fanatic, this game was a real treat for me. I love Westeros, and I will eat up anything put out bearing the Game of Thrones title. It's like the books, it is like the show, only it is completely interactive and you can direct which way the story goes. How can you find fault with that?

Not only is it fun and interesting, but it it truly authentic to the GoT universe. The cast is terrific, the stakes are high, and you always feel like something bad could happen at any moment. This game felt like it could actually have been written by George RR Martin himself. In other words - the game is awesome.

Sure it has its flaws and it is definitely not a perfect game. But if you are a big fan of the source material like myself, you should consider this a definite welcome addition to the Game of Thrones universe.

Overall:

A-

Video Game Review: Vandal Hearts

Vandal Hearts

PlayStation

To say that this is a game I had never heard a whole lot of hype about would be an understatement. If I didn't pick up a used copy of this game for dirt cheap (just a couple bucks) at a local Blockbuster when I was a teenager, I would likely have never even heard of Vandal Hearts, much less played it.

But luckily the fates aligned and I was able to avoid that unpleasant destiny. A world where I have never played Vandal Hearts is a world I don't want to live in.

I didn't expect much when I bought this game, but I was hoping for a pleasant surprise. If it sucked... oh well. It was only a few dollars. But as it turns out, the game didn't suck. Not in the least.

I had been a fan of RPGs, but not strategy games. Didn't like Final Fantasy Tactics. Didn't like Command and Conquer. Didn't like almost everything in the genre I had played. The one exception was Shining Force. I thought that game was quite gnarly.

I don't think I knew what type of game Vandal Hearts was when I bought it, otherwise I may have never bothered with it. I thought it was just a regular RPG, but I was wrong. It was a grid based strategy game.

My misgivings quickly went away after firing up this game. This wasn't like anything I had ever played before. This game was, for lack of a better term: bad ass. It was like Shining Force except with better graphics, a better story, and much more in your face action. And oh yeah, blood!

This was the late 90's. I likely played through this game a handful of times before it joined my collection of old games that I didn't bother to play anymore. I would say at least 15 or 16 years have passed in my life before I decided to pick the game up and play it again. I don't know what prompted me to pick up this game again, despite all the bajillion games in my collection, but I am glad I did.

I knew the game was fun. I knew I liked it and would likely have a good time. I remembered this much. But I did not know just exactly how much I would love the game.

Vandal Hearts really is a great title, and it still holds up after all these years.

The story can be a little overwhelming. Don't expect to just skim through it when you are playing. It is very intricate and detailed. Once you get the basic concept and start playing the game, it all becomes much more clear.

I am one who is easily distracted and has a hard time paying attention, but the basic concept is that this is a land that was once ruled with an iron fist by an old government regime. In the years leading up to the game, a rebellion happened and the government was succesfully overthrown. Now the rebels are in charge, but the power has gone to the heads of a corrupt few.

Your character Asher is in charge of protecting the people of this nation, and he sees how corrupt things are getting in the hierarchy above him. He is sent away on a mission to follow a general who defected, and is quickly caught up in a chase for mystical artifacts which, if fallen into the hands of the corrupt officials, can destroy the world.

You meet a ton of characters along the way, each with his or her own interesting backstory. Each character adds something different to your party. You've got archers, white mages, sorcerers, swordsmen, and all the usual fantasy type occupations. Each has their own unique strengths and weaknesses. As you upgrade characters through out the game, they each have different paths you can take them down. For example, you can turn your archers into dragon knights. These characters can't shoot arrows anymore, but they fly and can cover MUCH more ground than the average character. They can even hover over water and other obstacles that normal characters would have to go around. You can turn swordsmen into guardsmen. Guardsmen are big, lumbering, and can take and dish out a lot of damage. But they can't cover a whole lot of territory in one turn. These are just a few examples. Every character in the game has multiple paths you can take them down, each one very different and offering unique strengths and weaknesses to your party..

Combat is grid based. You take turns moving all your characters. Then the computer goes. Then you go. Back and forth it goes. Your main goal for each "stage" is to eradicate all your enemies. Sometimes it is a specific enemy you must destroy. Sometimes you have to protect things. Most of the time there is no time limit, but a few stages you must hurry up and finish in a certain number of turns.

The maps aren't just flat, boring battle maps. You have hills, rivers, bridges, boulders, all kinds of obstacles in the way. Treasure chests and other items are scattered throughout each map. You can either seek these treasures out, putting yourself at risk to enemy attack, or forget about them and focus on the mission at hand.

Like in Shining Force, if your main character dies, you die.

The main reason I loved this game is that the battles are flat out fun. Most of the time when I play RPGs I play for the story line, I could care less about the battle system (see almost every Final Fantasy game I've ever played). Battles are just a necessary evil you must deal with in order to advance the story. This game is the complete opposite. The battles are what drive this game.

They are addicting, they are fun, and no two battles are ever alike. So many times while playing this I would want to stop playing, but I would tell myself "one more battle, one more battle." And then I would end up playing five more. It is so hard to stop!

Graphically, the game looks good. Sure it is probably dated by today's standards, but the characters are big, colorful, detailed, and easy to tell apart. Your party and your enemies are all 2D sprites that are slightly pixelated, but the world itself if 3D. Each battleground you can rotate and adjust the camera according to your liking.

When you kill an enemy, he explodes in a shower of pixelated blood that I must admit is quite satisfying to see. It's hard to explain, but there is nothing like taking down that son of a bitch who killed your archer and seeing him explode in a red fury. It is quite awesome. Of course, the same goes for your characters if an enemy happens to kill one of them (which they will.... many many times). Then it isn't quite so bad ass. But I still like it.

The game shouldn't take too long to beat. I clocked in around 20 hours, but I think I actually played the game far less than that. There is no pause function so a lot of times I had to just leave the game running while I would do something else. This accounted for a lot of the time spent playing this.

Also, the game isn't too difficult. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I died in the game and had to restart a map. And most of those deaths were because I let my main character get too deep into enemy territory - and they ganged up on him. Asher is one of the most powerful characters in the game, so it seemed wrong to hold him back from the fray on so many occasions. I learned to be cautious with him. A lot of times if I wanted to flank an enemy I would have him lead the flank just so the focus of the attack wouldn't be on him. Also, make sure to cast protective shields on him in every battle. And always heal him when you get a chance, even if he still has 75 or 80% of his health left. One big time hit by an enemy and bam - Asher is dead and you have to start the battle over.

The music is nothing great but the battle tunes are catchy (especially when it is the enemy's turn to attack) and the sound effects make the battles seem even more intense than they really are.

Between battles, you are treated to dialogue heavy scenes that advance the story line. Also, you get the opportunity to visit towns and villages to buy equipment, upgrade your characters, and save the game. You don't actually get to control your character and walk around the town, you just get to pick what you want to do from a menu instead. At first I thought this was kind of lame, but you don't really play the game for wandering and exploration. Vandal Hearts' focus is all on the combat and story line.

I think I have said everything there is to say about this game. I would highly recommend it if you have never played it before. It is highly addicting, the story is just good enough to make you care about the characters, and it is a ton of fun. Even if you don't like these kind of strategy games, give it a shot. I didn't think I liked them either, but this ended up turning into one of my favorite games of the original PlayStation era. It is not a perfect game. It could be longer. It could be tougher. It could be more "complete" in terms of character development, making choices, or exploring your environment. But that really isn't what this game is about.

This game is about going into battle, killing people, and having a great time doing it.

Overall:

A-

A Clash of Kings vs Game of Thrones Season 2

I continue my epic journey of reading through the Song of Ice and Fire books for the third time. I'm not only just reading the books, but I am watching the show in tandem with the books as well. Just trying to spot the differences, see if the show is giving us any hints as to what the books are going to do next. I am still relatively early in my journey (I just recently finished A Clash of Kings and season 2 of the show) so I haven't been able to spot much yet.

I thought season one of the show did a pretty good job following the books. Sure they had to cram a LOT of content into a 10 hour show, but I think they did an admirable job. All of the major plot points were covered, nothing too drastic was left out. My only gripe was a small one - that a lot of the actors didn't look age appropriate. Are we really supposed to believe that the guy playing Robb Stark is only, what, 15 or 16? No. But that was really my only issue with the show.

Season two, however, is a completely different story. I am usually not one of those people that harp on a movie or TV show straying from its source material, as long as said movie or TV show is good. This show is good, don't get me wrong, but I feel as if it strayed unneccesarily from the source material for no other reason than simply that it could.

So many times during this season did I feel like screaming at the TV: "That didn't happen!" or "Why did they leave that out?"

Some examples:
On the show, Littlefinger threatens Cersei with the knowledge that he knows of her incestuous relationship with Jaime. Cersei in turns orders her guards to draw their weapons on Petyr, and she threaten him in return.
Jaime kills his cousin Cleos and a Karstark while in captivity in an escape attempt. In the books, Cleos lives and accompanies Jaime and Brienne on the road to King's Landing. It was two Kartarks Jaime killed during the battle of the Whispering Wood, not one in an escape attempt.
Also on the show, it doesn't show Jaime being held in the dungeons at Riverrun. Instead they show him being brought along with Robb's army.
Melisandrei doesn't fuck Stannis in the books (although it is implied later in A Storm of Swords during a conversation she had with Davos that she did).
The stories that Tyrion tells Varys, Littlefinger, and Pycelle are much different on the show than in the books.
The whole Renly is gay plotline is a show only thing.
Arya's terrifying journey with the Night's Watch was greatly skipped over on the show, for the most part.
Arya meeting Tywin Lannister and serving as her cupbearer - didn't happen in the books.
They killed Daenerys's silver on the show - didn't happen in the books.
On the show Jon discovers Craster sacrificing the baby boy to the Others. In the books he knew that this is what was happening but he didn't actually see it, nor did he get attacked by Craster.
Shae comes to Tyrion in the Tower of the Hand as opposed to being squared away in a brothel that Tyrion has to discreetly come to.
The show changed the name of Theon's sister from Asha to Yara.
Robb's whole relationship and marriage is different on the show. He meets Lady Westerling while doing battle in the Crag in the books, and falls in love with her and marries her. On the show he meets a field nurse from Volantis and takes her as his bride.
In the books Davos rows Melissandrei into Storm's End to kill Cortnay Penrose to end the seige at Storm's End. In the show she kills Renly, and Renly alone. In fact, the whole Storm's End seige and the fate of Edric Storm is dropped completely from the show.
Brienne and Jamie don't go on the run until the third book, which would be the third season if the show was trying to follow the book/season format. I don't mind this change though, as Jaime isn't in Clash of Kings much and I am sure the show makers didn't want the casual viewer to forget about him.
The Dragons are never stolen by Pyat Pree in the books, nor is Xaro proven to be penniless.
The show excludes Mira and Jojen Reed. I don't recall seeing Ramsay as Reek either.
Bronn is given a much larger role in the show and put in charge of the City Watch.
The whole House of the Undying scene is completely different in the books. Completely. Dany sees scenes from her past and hints as to her future in the books. On the show, it is just kind of a surreal trip where she has a nice goodbye conversation with Khal Drogo and her unborn baby.
Tyrion's injury is far less grievous on the show than in the books, where he loses most of his nose.
As Joffrey's heir, Tommen is sent away in the books before the battle of King's Landing so if the Lannisters lose, they still have their claim to the throne. On the show, he is carelessly kept in the city.
No Arstan Whitebeard or Strong Belwas are to be seen on the show.

I could go on and on, but those are just the things that come to me off the top of my head. I had a running list in my head as I watched the show, but I never bothered to write them down. I should have! I am sure I am forgetting some major points.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that they changed a lot of things, and for no good reason whatsoever. I think some of the stuff was added to create drama, which is fine. Drama is needed for a TV show like this to succeed. For example, in the books Dany comes to Qarth and they all basically say no to her requests for help. She visits the House of the Undying and wrecks the place with her dragons, and then leaves. That doesn't make for good TV. So I guess it is understandable why they would add a plot about the Qartheen trying to steal her dragons.

But some of the things were stupid and unnecessary. Littlefinger threatening the Queen? He is too sneaky for that, he would never confront her in that manner when he knows what she is capable of. Arya meeting Tywin and befriending him? He would never give a cupbearer a second glance. Margaery offering Renly a threesome with her brother? Could have happened in the books, but if so it was never shown. The whole Renly being gay thing is speculation in the books and was never completely addressed anyway.

The whole order of things is jumbled up too. The book starts off with Maester Cressen attempting to kill Melisandrei but this isn't addressed until towards the end of the first episode. This was a big tone setting scene for the novel, but on the show it seemed kind of out of place. I pity the people who didn't read the books but watched the show. A lot of the dots don't seem to be connected properly if you don't already know what is going on. For example, Jon Snow's story begins on the show with him beyond the wall already ranging and looking for Mance Rayder and the wildlings. In the books they set this up with Sam studying and the Night's Watch prepping for the journey. On the show they just jump right into the ranging with no explanation whatsoever about what is going on, what their mission is, or why they are beyond the wall. In fact, casual fans were probably thinking "who?" when Mance's name was brought up.

I really really tried not to be irritated as I watched the show. They got the very basic gist of the story correct. Theon betraying the Starks, Jon and the Night's Watch going on their expedition, the battle for Blackwater Bay, Arya's journey, Dany leaving Qarth empty handed, etc. It is just that the steps taken to reach these destinations were much different.

I can appreciate them trying to tell the story from different perspectives, maybe trying to spice things up a little bit. I have no problem with that. A straight, no liberties taken retelling of the book just simply wouldn't have been possible with the time constraints put on the show. Plus TV viewers need a little extra added action so they don't get bored.

What I didn't enjoy was the way some characters acted completely out of character, doing things that went against everything they stood for in the books. I didn't like the needless changes or the eye rolling moments where the show just flat out got things wrong.

That being said, I still enjoyed the show, for the most part. I definitely did not enjoy season 2 as much as I did season 1, I can tell you that right up front. I don't feel as if it did the epic book the justice it deserved. Plus, the further I get along in the show, the more I will see how it has strayed from the books. I have seen the show in its entirety (up to season 6) so far, so I know that the gap between show and books is only going to get bigger.

I just have to accept the fact that the show and the books are separate entities, and that I am just going to have to live with it. I am still holding out hope that since the books are so long in between, the coming seasons of the show will provide clues as to what will happen next. Dany meeting Tyrion? Sansa marrying Ramsay? These events have already happened on the show. Will the books go a completely different direction?

We shall have to see.

I can't wait for the Winds of Winter.

VHS Tape #9: FIYAP

This is the ninth VHS tape I've gone through and logged. This must be from 2004 because several references to that year are made here. Such as the Bush/Kerry campaign, the Red Sox winning the World Series, and Lost's debut.

(00:00:00)

World's Craziest Videos
 - Funny fishing clips
 - Bloopers from British TV shows
 - Daredevil tries to drive up a ramp and launch himself onto a roof, but smashes into the side of the building instead

Mad TV
 - Political Idol. Politicians come up on stage and try to impress a panel of judges, like American Idol
 - Family Feud spoof. Lord of the Rings vs Cold Mountain

Three fat guys singing awful country music on MPTV

(15:36)

COPS
 - Mexican guy is pulled over, and there are drugs in his car. He is arrested. Nothing special. The police are very polite and supportive of the guy though. They want to get him some help.
 - Man shoots a thief with his own gun while the thief is breaking into a house

*I didn't edit out commercials here. Sorry. There are many campaign ads*

COPS resumes
 - White guy with a warrant is caught hiding out in a basement
 - After some more commercials, we come to a new COPS clip. In this one, a vehicle leads the police on a long chase. The driver fires shots at the cops through the window. Eventually, he crashes through a fence, and tries to get out and flee on foot. He doesn't make it far.

(48:50)

Beavis and Butthead. This is the episode where the boys want beards, so they cut hair off of their heads and glue it to their faces. Also in this episode, they get sent back in school for being so stupid. Black Hole Sun is one of the videos they watch in this episode.

*A random Maury Povich clip appears in the commercials. Maury talks to two little black girls with cherubism.. They have giant cheeks and jaws. After this clip, the tape finishes the aforementioned Beavis and Butthead episode*


Beavis and Butthead. Career Day episode where they are mall cops for the day. Also in this episode, "Todd" comes in and takes over Beavis and Butthead's house.

(1:30:02)

AFV.
 - Man gets his face pushed into a giant cake
 - Boy leaps over catcher at home plate
 - Guy pulls off gown and reveals Spider Man outfit at graduation
 - Football player pulled down by his underwear
 - Sports players knock over trophies while celebrating and break them
 - Boy tries to jump on a skateboard on a trampoline and it makes the skateboard launch into the air. It breaks a window on his third attempt.
 - Dog attacks a leaf blower
 - Baby makes funny eyes when lights are turned off and on
 - Boy falls head first
 - Kid walks into a sliding glass door
 - Guy smashes his behind while pulling a jet ski onto the back of a truck
 - Little boy pukes on birthday cake
 - Montage of clips about people snoring
 - Dog pulls a little kid around the house by his pant leg
 - Man jumps out of a garbage can and scares people
 - Cat makes funny chattering sounds
 - Woman's chair breaks under her weight
 - Old grandma riding a mini bike wipes out
 - Dude wrecks himself trying to skate down a handrail
 - Man puts butterflies on his neck and laughs because it's ticklish
 - What's that dog looking at?
 - Fire hose accidentally goes off and sprays fire fighters
 - Rooster crowing scares a person in bed
 - Funny wedding clips
 - Man lets a crab latch on to his nipple

(1:41:40)

Ripley's Believe It or Not
 - Sheep given prosthetic legs
 - Woman catches flesh eating bacteria on a camping trip. This is really gross. She has to have many "pieces" amputated.
 - Man removes nails from the wall using his teeth
 - Armor made out of hair
 - Female dentist does her own root canal
 - Fake three foot grasshoppers

Video Game Mods on MTV. This is lame. It's a bunch of video game characters dancing to rap music.

Clip of Hilton Griswold singing

Maury Povich. Fat woman and small man get married. The Rapping Granny catches the bouquet at the wedding. How random.

(1:58:05)

Judge Judy.
 - Woman sues her chauffeur. I don't really know what's going on here because it's only half an episode. It's not that great anyway.
 - Black families sue each other because the son of the defendant stole the plaintiff's phone and gave it to his girlfriend, who ran up the bill.
 - DJ sues man whose equipment is broken in a fight at his wedding

Beavis and Butthead. Vending machine steals the boys' money. Butthead panhandles money, and spends it all on nachos for himself, which he does not share with Beavis.

(2:32:35)

Judge Judy
 - Woman sues her ex and ends up storming out of the court room. I always think it's hilarious when people storm out on judge TV shows

*in the commercials, there is a clip from Inside Edition when Ashlee Simpson was caught lip synching*

Judge Judy (cont)
 - Albino black girl sues a former friend for keying her car and for handing out fliers degrading her.

Johnny Damon is interviewed on Dave Letterman after the Red Sox rally from a 3-0 deficit to beat the Yankees in the ALDS, and then win the World Series.

(3:08:06)

Outrageous Behavior
 - New Zealand man tries to catapult a woman into the next yard over and fails miserably
 - A young couple getting married digs around in a pile of manure for the ring
 - Speeding truck wipes out as it goes over a bumpy hill
 - Man wakes up mom by playing his guitar loudly and shouting at her bedside
 - Dude holds world record for kicking himself in the head
 - Land diving
 - Man crashes his dirtbike in an arena and it keeps going without him
 - Man pretends to fall off a bridge while getting his picture taken
 - English streakers arrested on a college campus
 - Bike racer flips out and cusses up a storm when his bike breaks down in the middle of a race
 - Number holding girl at a boxing match messes up repeatedly
 - Car pulls a couch on a skateboard behind it. With people on it.
 - Man blows up, with explosives, fruit that is placed on his head

World's Craziest Videos
 - News reporter mishaps
 - Extreme sporting mishaps
 - British cooking show mishaps
 - Funny foreign neutering commercial
 - Clips of people trying to show off, and getting owned
 - Funny sibling clips. In one of them, a boy picks his nose and puts it on his baby brother
 - What's Gonna Happen Next?
 - Dancing snowmen look like they're having sex

Rod Stewart interviewed on "Entertainers" with Byron Allen

(3:53:07)

The Thrills perform on Jay Leno

COPS
 - This clip begins in the middle of a segment. A Mexican gang member is getting arrested for drug possession and also he had a fake gun. Nothing too special.
 - This one takes place in Maui. A cop is flagged down while making a traffic stop. He runs over to where a fight is taking place. A gay man with HIV is trying to hit this weird bald dude with a shovel. Win.
 - Crazy feminine drug addict who is hiding in a building runs out of the window and screams
 - Assault call. Cops arrest a man who beat up a pregnant woman.
 - Police confront homeless paint huffing man. I love these guys!
 - Man accidentally shoots best friend in the head
 - Man in a car gets tazered but keeps on driving. He leads the cops on a long chase before he bails out of the vehicle and gets taken down

Outrageous Game Show Moments
 - Old Wheel of Fortune host falls down while making his entrance
 - Other host mess ups

(4:33:13)

COPS
 - Violent white trash dude tazered while fighting. He's in a chair.
 - Young black man dressed in a red shirt is tazered and arrested in a restaurant. He had drugs and also a gun on him.
 - Jersey cop pulls over two guys in a car who are buying drugs and arrests them
 - Black man named Kevin hides under a mattress from the police. It's funny looking, the mattress being all raised up. It was so obvious he was hiding under there. Did he think no one would notice?
 - Crazed white man with long hair steals a kids bike and hides from the police in a shed

Conan O'Brien. Camera zooms in on a man in the audience who refuses to laugh. Conan spills NBC secrets. Other summer sweeps gimmicks. Gun toting, Nascar driving Jesus.

(5:13:04)

Maury
 - Small boy mauled by a dog, and is now blind and severely disfigured. Lee Ann Rhimes gives him a drum set.
 - Woman's scalp ripped from her skull by a machine at a factory
 - Boy in a wheelchair is made fun of at school. Anthony the A-Train Thomas invites him to a Chicago Bears game and gives him free Bears paraphernalia
 - Boy has a gigantic purple birthmark on his face. A port wine stain, they call it. He also gets free things.

Late Night with David Letterman. Creepy George W. Bush eyebrow. Also, Dave interviews Paul Reubens (Pee Wee) and Evangeline Lilly

Conan O'Brien skit where he unveils new state quarters

(5:50:59)

Jay-Z "Can I Get A...." music video from the Rush Hour soundtrack

Street Smarts. Jerri Manthey and Alex Bell from Survivor square off. This must have taken place shortly after All Stars because they keep making cracks about it. This cuts out about midway through the episode and resumes on the next tape.


END OF TAPE

Final Thoughts: Big Brother 9

I don't particularly recalling being blown away by this season of Big Brother when I had originally watched it. I didn't really like the couples twist. I disliked half of the cast members. Plus I was a little bit Big Brother-ed out. Usually there is a year or so between seasons of this show, but because of the writer's strike back in 2008, they decided to release a special edition of Big Brother during the winter months since nothing original was being written at this point in time.

I always considered Big Brother 8 to be the last "great" season of Big Brother. I loved Evel Dick and his antics, plus the game was just flat out a lot of fun. Good characters, big moments, fun twists, great winner. Anything was bound to be a letdown after a season like that.

Rewatching Big Brother 9, I was kind of surprised to find that I liked the season. In fact, I really liked it.

This season was completely different in the sense that the game was played (at least, in the beginning) with partners instead of individuals. 14 people came into the game, and were quickly partnered off into couples. Supposedly personality tests had been given to the players, and it was determined who each other's "soul mates" were based on compatibility. These couples would play the game as one person. Competitions were won as couples, nominations made as couples. People were evicted as couples.

This seemed like an unfair twist to me originally. You could play the best Big Brother game in the universe, but if you happened to get coupled with someone the house hated and wanted out, you would be screwed. And this actually did happen on a few occasions.

In addition to the couples twist, there were also a few other wrinkles to the game as well. A few people entered the house knowing other players in the game. There was Ryan and Jen - a real life couple outside the house. These two came into the house and were supposed to act like they didn't know one another. They got coupled with other people as well. Due to in game reasons (Jen's partner wanted to target Ryan for eviction) they couldn't keep the fact that they knew each other a secret for very long. This made things all kinds of awkward.

Then there was Sharon and Jacob. These two had been a real life couple for a long time, but had recently broken up before the show. They were then paired together as each other's soulmates. Cruel, Big Brother, cruel. I hated Jacob right away. In the introductions he was all Jesus this, Jesus that. And then we found out that he had separated from Sharon because he had cheated on her, lol.

These were the only pre existing relationships in the house coming into the game. Well, unless you count the house guinea pigs, which the show did in a competition later on in the game. Other pairings included Sheila, a sassy cougar, and Adam, a fast talking, Jersey boy. This couple was dysfunctional right from the get go. They hated each other. Sheila in particular didn't like Adam and the fact that he smoked and seemed like kind of a spaz. He didn't earn points for himself either when he referred to the special needs kids he worked with as retards.

Alex and Amanda were another couple. He was a pretty boy New York DJ. Even I can admit he was a good looking man. She was a butterfaced Wisconsin girl with a high pitched little girl voice. Hot body though.

Previously mentioned Jen was partnered with Parker, a black dude with a fro. He seeemed cool at first, but kinda morphed into a dick during his short stay in the house. Jen's boyfriend Ryan was partnered with Alison, a sporty loud mouthed Boston chick. She kind of annoyed me.

There was a token gay couple - Joshuah and.... uh some other guy who quit the game on like day 3 or 4. There was James, with his pink mohawk and his tale of bicycling around the world (is that possible?) and bad girl Chelsia. I had the major hots for her when this season first aired.

Last couple was one that I HATED when I first watched the show - Matt and Natalie. Matt was your typical cocky Boston guy. I tend to hate these people on reality shows. He was kinda like a younger version of Boston Rob. He was paired with Natalie, a bikini barista (those exist?). She was another Jesus freak like Jacob, but apparently she gave Matt a blowjob on like the second or third day of the game. This is according to the live feed reports. They never showed this on TV though. WHY?? I thought she was super annoying the first time I watched this. She had one of those obnoxiously loud voices, and everything about her screamed fake. She was constantly fawning over Matt, who didn't even really seem to like her that much. Words can't describe how this couple annoyed me the first time I watched this show.

Upon rewatch though, they may have been my favorite couple. They are so dysfunctional, it is hilarious. She is constantly all over Matt, but he is talking trash about her to the camera, and constantly pursuing other chicks like Chelsia and Sharon. It was kind of hilarious to watch actually.

Once all the pairs had been created, a challenge was held for power couple. The winner would evict any couple of their choice singlehandedly. Or would it be doublehandedly because they are a couple? I don't know. Jen and Parker won this first challenge.

Here is where the unfairness factor came in for me. Sharon would have been in no trouble whatsoever, but her partner Jacob started rumors about people calling Parker a snake. In reality, no one had said that - and Jacob was the one trying to make Parker look bad. Jacob and Sharon were chosen (obviously) by Parker and Jen to leave the house. Sharon did nothing wrong, but paid the price for her partner's stupidity.

Joshuah's partner was forced to quit for personal reasons, giving Joshuah the choice of selecting either Sharon or Jacob to come back into the game to be his new partner. Obviously, he chose Sharon rather than the shit stirring Jacob. I was glad for her to get a second chance since she got screwed over by her partner. And she did end up making it pretty far in the game.

Another person who got screwed was Parker, who was voted out because everyone hated Jen and her shit stirring ways. People didn't like her at all, and she only made things worse for herself when she went around calling her real life boyfriend Ryan a racist to make herself look better. Like, what was she thinking?

Alex was another one who got screwed. Amanda, his partner, was a huge gossip who went around the house starting rumors and irritiating the crap out of everyone. These rumors blew up in her face during a big fight with Joshuah, who called her a horse face and told her to hang herself like her dad. Low blow, but she brought it on herself. This couple got evicted, even though Alex really did nothing wrong and seemed to be playing a good game.

The last screwed player was Ryan, who was taken out because his partner Allison was hated by the house, and again - fought with Joshuah who came after her looks and called her an ugly bitch. Allison also squabbled with Sheila and a few others. Ryan was spared however, when the couples twist ended and everyone was forced to decide whether to vote him out or Allison. Allison left and Ryan got to stay in the game.

Once the couple twist ended, the game got really good. Ryan became the new HoH, and people were trying to threaten and intimidate him into putting his good pal Matt out of the game. No one trusted James, who was kind of seen as the ringleader for the anti Matt movement, and he became a huge target. When the veto was used, a lot of people expected Ryan to put up his friend Matt - but he took out James instead. This was a big game changing moment, and where this season really got good.

A big twist occurred that saved James's skin. The players had to vote whether to save James or bring a mystery player back into the game. America had voted for the screwed over Alex as the mystery player, but the players in the game didn't know it. Rather than risk the unknown, the players brought James back into the game. Appearance wise, you would think James with his pink mohawk would have been this huge over the top character. Plus his nickname was Crazy James. But I didn't really see too much crazy behavior out of him. I did hear rumors that he was in gay porn before the show, so I had to look it up to see if the rumors were true. They are. I would suggest not following up on this yourself, however.

Upon his return, James made his enemies pay, winning all kinds of competitions and taking out his rival Matt. Every week became a struggle to evict James from the house, but he kept winning veto challenges. He saw two of his alliance members leave before him - Chelsia and Joshuah. The alliance of Natalie, Ryan, Sheila, and Adam took control of the game. James eventually lost a veto challenge and was finally voted out at the final 6.

Sharon became the last outsider, but was saved when the dominating alliance (Team Christ... ugh what a name) decided to take out one of their own in Natalie because she was such a big threat. Sharon's reprieve was short lived as she got voted out next anyway. Sharon was okay. She seemed nice enough, but she was another Jesus freak in the house. Plus I hated how she would always yell wooooooo all the time. It was obnoxious. Her baby talk to the guinea pigs was annoying too.

Within the Team Christ alliance, Ryan and Adam had a final 2 deal and took each other to the finals when Sheila couldn't come up with a challenge win at the end of the game. Sheila was an emotional rollercoaster - up and down and down and up. She cried quite often and was very quick to anger in many situations. But there were other times she seemed like the most loving and caring person in the world. She was a little bit of a mess but I liked her a lot. Why has she not been back as a returning player?

I actually liked both of the people in the final 2. Ryan seemed like a genuinely nice guy, although whenever he would speak to Julie or to his houseguests on live TV, he would always say the phrase "you know" way too many times. This bugged the crap out of me. "Yeah, you know, I, you know, nominated James because, you know, he was a threat and, you know...." Ugh.

Adam was my favorite when the show first aired. He is goofy, off the wall. Not your typical type of Big Brother winner. Not your typical kind of human being actually. He was a very strange guy, kind of reminiscent of a Muppet or a cartoon character in his mannerisms. When I first started rewatching this season, I was like how the hell does Adam make it to the end and win? I thought my memory had failed me miserably. But no, he did win in the end.

It was a 6-1 vote. I am a little surprised it was such a blow out. People seemed to like Ryan, and a few people suggested that Adam didn't have a backbone or hid behind Ryan's game play. But Adam was rewarded with the vote. He was always very passionate about the moves he made, which I think was a big plus in his favor versus the usually cool and level headed Ryan. Plus Adam works with children and made it clear that he was going to use his money to improve the lives of autistic children through charity work.

"I'm going to do great things with this money," he assured his fellow houseguests.

Which is funny, because didn't he get busted for drug possession and trafficking not too long after the game ended. LOL. Great things indeed.

All in all, I really enjoyed this season upon rewatch. I was actually kind of dreading watching it again since I didn't enjoy it much the first time I watched it. But I had a lot of fun this time around and would often look forward to being able to watch the next show in line. Usually when I watch shows, I take my time and only watch an episode here and there every once in a while. But this one kept me coming back, which is a sign that I truly enjoyed.

I loved the cast. There wasn't a dud in the bunch. I liked the way the show went down, the people I wanted to see leave generally left the show early and the people I liked tended to stick around in the game. The format and the couplings were great for drama. I enjoyed the winner. I just really enjoyed the season as a whole.

Oh how my opinion has changed. Whereas I used to think back on this season negatively, I now see it as one of my favorite seasons. If you have never seen this season before, it is DEFINITELY worth a watch. And if you have seen it, you may find that you like it more a second time around.