Sunday, September 1, 2024

2024 Things (August)





8.1: Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.07). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (25.02). Finished video game: Cool Spot. Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (12.03). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack podcast (AAPOD169). 

8.2: Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.08). Watched 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix (4.01). Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club podcast (CC Weekly #67). Watched 1 episode of Receiver (ep 4). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club podcast (Gerald's Game).

8.3: Watched 2 episodes of The Amazing Race (12.04 and 12.05). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (25.03). 

8.4: Listened to 1 episode of Retrograde podcast (ep 184). Listened to 1 episode of Stephen King Cast (ep 169). Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club podcast (CC Weekly #68). Watched 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix (4.02). Watched 1 episode of Jurassic World: Chaos Theory (1.07). Watched 1 episode of Batman: The Animated Series (Robin's Reckoning Pt. 1).

8.5: Watched 1 episode of Invincible (2.02). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack podcast (AAPOD170). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour podcast (8.5.24 episode). Listened to 1 episode of the 7th Rule podcast (ep 242). Watched 1 episode of Batman: The Animated Series (Robin's Reckoning Pt. 2). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries podcast (The Creatures of Hockomock Swamp).

8.6: Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries podcast (Jailhouse Ghosts). Listened to 1 episode of Retrovaniacs podcast (ep 1). Listened to 1 episode of Digging Six Feet Under podcast (s04e5). Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.09). Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (12.06). Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast (ep 405).


8.7: Watched 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix (4.03). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (25.04). Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (12.07). Listened to 1 episode of I Finally Watched... (Ep. 2). Watched movie: The River Wild.

8.8: Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (12.08). Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.10). Watched 2 episodes of Batman: The Animated Series (Night of the Ninja and Cat Scratch Fever). Watched movie: Stand By Me.

8.9: Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.11). Watched 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix (4.04). Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (12.09). Listened to 1 episode of Retrograde podcast (ep 185). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.7.24 episode). Watched 1 episode of Batman: The Animated Series (The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne).

8.10: Watched 2 episodes of Batman: The Animated Series (Heart of Steel Part One and Part Two). Watched 2 episodes of The Amazing Race (12.10 and 12.11). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.9.24 episode). Watched 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix (4.05). Watched 1 episode of Receiver (ep 5). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (25.05). 

8.11: Watched movie: Saw II. Watched movie: Deadpool & Wolverine. Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club podcast (ep 50).

8.12: Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (A Fish Called Wanda). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro (ep 44). Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 38). Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club (CC Weekly #69). Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast (ep 18). Listened to 1 episode of Losers Club (Gerald's Game Revisited). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries podcast (The Art of Murder). 

8.13: Watched 1 episode of Survivor (25.06). Listened to 1 episode of Stephen King Cast (ep 65). Listened to 1 episode of the 7th Rule podcast (ep 243). Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.12). Watched movie: A Fish Called Wanda. Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club podcast (ep 131). Watched 1 episode of Batman: The Animated Series (If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich?). Watched 1 episode of Hitler and the Nazis: Evil on Trial (ep 1). 

8.14: Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.13). Listened to 1 episode of Digging Six Feet Under podcast (s04e06). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.12.24 episode).

8.15: Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (37.00). Watched 2 episodes of Survivor (25.07 and 25.08). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema podcast (ep 33). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries podcast (The Shadow Man). Listened to 1 episode of Retrograde podcast (ep 186). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack podcast (AAPOD171). Finished video game: RoboCop vs Terminator (SNES). 

8.16: Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast (ep 406). Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.14). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (37.01). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.13.24 episode).

8.17: Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.15). Watched movie: Serial Mom. Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.14.24 episode). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (25.09).

8.18: Listened to 1 episode of Digging Six Feet Under podcast (s04e07). Watched movie: Alien Romulus. Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (37.02).

8.19: Listened to 2 episodes of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.15 and 8.16.24 episodes). Listened to 1 episode of Losers Club (Dolores Claiborne). Listened to 1 episode of Stephen King Cast (ep 66). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (25.10).

8.20: Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 39). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema podcast (At the Movies Edition: Deadpool & Wolverine). Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club podcast (CC Weekly #70).

8.21: Watched movie: Martyrs (2008). Listened to 1 episode of Digging Six Feet Under podcast (s04e08). Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast (ep 407). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.19.24 episode). Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.16). Watched 1 episode of The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon (1.01).

8.22: Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.17). Watched 1 episode of Batman: The Animated Series (Joker's Wild). Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club (CC Weekly #71). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (37.03). Watched movie: Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F. Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.20.24 episode).

8.23: Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club (ep 5). Watched 1 episode of The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon (1.02). Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.18). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (37.04).

8.24: Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.21.24 episode). Listened to 2 episodes of Unsolved Mysteries (The Nameless Victims and Texts from a Killer?). Watched 3 episodes of Survivor (25.11. 25.12, and 25.13). Watched Untold: The Murder of Air McNair. Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (37.05). Listened to 1 episode of Losers Club (Taylor Hackford's Dolores Claiborne).

8.25: Listened to 1 episode of Retrograde podcast (ep 187). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (2024 Ride or Die). Listened to 1 episode of the 7th Rule podcast (ep 244). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack podcast (AAPOD172). Watched 1 episode of The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon (1.03). Watched movie: Saw III. Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro (Editor's Corner ep 1). Listened to 1 episode of Retronauts podcast (Micro 007: The Ups and Downs of Xenogears).

8.26: Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (2024 Rotoworld Mock Draft). Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Crimson Tide). Finished video game: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Watched 1 episode of The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon (1.04).

8.27: Listened to 1 episode of Digging Six Feet Under podcast (s04e09). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack podcast (AAPOD173). Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.19). Watched 1 episode of Receiver (ep 6). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.23.24 episode). Watched 1 episode of The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon (1.05).

8.28: Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro (Editor's Corner ep 2). Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club podcast (CC Weekly #72). Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits (ep 40). Watched 2 episodes of Survivor (25.14 and 25.15). Watched movie: Forrest Gump.

8.29: Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Rosemary's Baby). Watched 1 episode of Batman: The Animated Series (Tyger, Tyger). Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.20). Watched movie: Platoon. Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.26.24 episode). 

8.30: Watched 2 episodes of The Challenge (37.06 and 37.07). Listened to 2 episodes of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (8.27 and 8.28.24 episodes). Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club podcast (CC Weekly #73). Watched 1 episode of Hitler and the Nazis: Evil on Trial (ep 2). Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.21). Listened to 1 episode of Loser's Club podcast (Stephen King's Sleepwalkers).

8.31: Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack podcast (AAPOD174). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema podcast (ep 34). Watched 3 episodes of Terminator Zero (1.01, 1.02, and 1.03). Watched 1 episode of The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon (1.06).




17 episodes of Fantasy Football Happy Hour podcast played
15 episodes of Big Brother watched
14 episodes of Survivor watched
12 movies watched
10 episodes of Cartridge Club podcast played
10 episodes of Batman: The Animated Series watched
9 episodes of the Amazing Race watched
7 episodes of the Challenge watched
6 episodes of Arcade Attack played
6 episodes of  The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon watched
6 episodes of Unsolved Mysteries podcast played

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Tuesday, August 27, 2024

Video Game Review #528: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
PlayStation


Nostalgia Factor:

Can you believe that I've shared the planet with this game for 27 years and I am only just now getting around to playing it? I grew up a fan of the original NES Castlevania, but its sequel, Simon's Quest, soured me to the series and I never returned to it. That was a mistake. There have been a ton of great Castlevania games released since then - most notably the highly acclaimed Symphony of the Night.

I have not been living under a rock all these years. I've read all the online reviews and I've read through all kinds of Reddit threads and message board conversations about this game. It has almost no haters. Everyone universally seems to agree that this game is awesome. Heck, my good friend (the late Almighty Wisk) did a guest review of this game for my blog back in 2016 - and he gave the game an A+. Click here if you are interested in that review.

This is one of those games that I've always told myself I'd get around to playing "someday." I even downloaded it from the PSN Store back in 2014. Which means I've had this game in my possession for ten years now, waiting for the right time to fire it up.

Well, the time has finally come. I've been playing through every Castlevania game, in order, so I could make it to this point: finally playing Symphony of the Night. Would I find that this game really is one of the greatest games ever made, or would I find it to be overrated as all hell? Let's find out.




Story:

This game acts as a sequel of sorts to Castlevania: Rondo of Blood. The action starts with a cutscene that shows Rondo's protagonist (Richter Belmont) facing off against Dracula. After this brief sequence, the game flashes forward to the future. Dracula is back (again) after 100 years, and his son Alucard, who works with humans on the side of good, enters the castle looking to end things once and for all.

The game has a surprisingly strong storyline when held up against other Castlevania games. Loyal readers should know I spoil everything in my reviews, so skip to the gameplay section if you haven't played this yet.

Alucard discovers that the person behind Dracula's resurrection is Richter - the protagonist of the last game. But how could this be? How could a Belmont turn bad? That's where things get a little tricky. If you are playing this game blind, like me, you will treat Richter as a boss character when you come across him. You'll find him, you'll kill him, and the credits will roll. But this is actually the "bad" ending of the game.

What you need to do it free Richter of his curse. He's being controlled by an evil entity. If you enter the battle with a special pair of glasses equipped, it makes the entity visible during the Richter boss fight. Ignore Richter and kill the entity. This will free Richter of his curse. It will also unlock the entire second half of the game - which you would have missed if you simply just killed Richter instead of freeing him. In this second half, you must travel through an inverse version of Dracula's castle. At the end, you battle Shaft (not Samuel L Jackson, but the entity responsible for Richter's possession). Beat him, and you go into battle against Dracula. Beat him, and this triggers the good ending.

Dracula is defeated, the castle falls apart, and Richter and his friend Maria (who appears off and on as an NPC) are able to escape in peace.




Gameplay:

You've undoubtedly heard this described as a "Metroidvania" game. Well, this is where the term originated from. Metroid/Castlevania. And that is a pretty good description. This is essentially a Metroid game but with Castelvania characters and gameplay.

Dracula's castle is pretty big. The map is empty when you first start playing, but it fills out whenever you enter a room. Just like a Metroid game. There are hidden power ups around the castle that increase your health, hearts, and magic limit - just like in a Metroid game. There are doors you will encounter that you cannot unlock, as well as platforms that you cannot reach. You have to come back later once you have learned new abilities with your character, such as a double jump. Just like a Metroid game.

The goal of the game is to explore the castle to your best ability. You'll gain new weapons, items, and abilities along the way. One fun thing about the game is how you level up as you kill enemies. Makes it feel a bit more like an RPG and separates itself from Metroid, where you do not have EXP or the ability to level up. You also have familiars, which allow you to change into the shape of an animal. I found most of these pretty useless (I still do not know what the purpose of the wolf is). The only one I used with regularity is the bat, which allows you to fly around and reach areas you could not reach previously. In fact, once you find the bat familiar you can immediately go to the Richter battle if you want to see the game's bad ending.

You can get lost pretty easily if you do not know where you are supposed to go next. This happened to me several times as I was playing. You can look at the map and see where you have not been yet, but this is not always foolproof. Be prepared for a lot of aimless wandering and backtracking through areas you have already seen dozens of times before.

The game is also very vague with its hints. Reminds me of Simon's Quest a bit in that regard. For example, in order to get the glasses you need in order to defeat the entity controlling Richter, you have to collect a gold and silver ring, which are hidden in the castle. Then you have to bring them to the "clock room" and equip both of them. How would anyone have known to do this in the pre-internet days? One of the rings you need is protected by spikes, which you can only get past if you collect the special spike breaker armor. But this is never once mentioned in the game. You just have to figure it out yourself. Or look online like I did. But again - how would anyone have known to do this without the internet back in the 1990s? I likely would have made it to Richter, seen the bad ending, and thought - "oh okay so that was a pretty short and easy game." And then I would have moved on with my life.

Luckily, I came into this well aware of the "inverted castle" and the second half of the game. So when the credits started to roll, I immediately knew something was not right. I reloaded my old save and did things the "right way." Up until this point, things had been relatively easy. I was not dying often and running into that vaunted difficulty level of past Castlevania games.

And then the inverted castle happened. Right off the bat, I noticed the difficulty spike. I was in the clock tower area and there were these flying enemies that were just beating the piss out of me. I managed to make my way through them after some trial and error, but then ran into another tough area. And another. And another. Nothing ever gets too hard to the point of frustration, but it almost does. Almost.

The inverted castle was nothing like I thought it would be. I expected it would be the same thing as the normal castle, except upside down. But that is not right. The normal castle looks like a castle, with tables and chairs and torches and a library area, etc. But the inverted castle is very demonic-feeling, filled with lots of weird creatures and some very abnormal room designs. Kind of like the Upside-Down in Stranger Things. Or Silent Hill when it transforms after you hear the air raid sirens. Or like in Soul Reaver when you switch between the real and spectral world. The same locations mirroring each other, but in a very dark and haunting way.

The inverted castle feels less like "Metroidvania" and more like classic platforming Castlevania. You already have all your powers and upgrades. There is not a whole lot of backtracking. You are mainly just going in a big loop around the castle, fighting bosses and leveling up your character. Your ultimate goal is to defeat five special bosses. When you beat them, they drop a "Vlad piece" like a heart, rib, eye, etc. If you have played Simon's Quest, you should know where I am going with this. You have to collect all five Vlad pieces, equip them, and then head to the inverse clock room. This takes you to the final confrontation against Dracula and Shaft. Beat them, and you beat the game - which is what I did. Apparently if you explore both castles to 100% completion before fighting the bosses, you unlock a special ending. But I had already sunk enough time into this game and it was starting to overstay its welcome, so I opted for the normal ending. That's good enough for me.

So yeah. That's this game in a nutshell. Metroid style exploration set in the world of Castlevania, complete with the ability to level up and equip items. I understand the love people have for this game. I can imagine it must have been quite amazing to play back in the 90s, especially when you find out, after you beat the game, that there is another whole castle out there to explore. Undoubtedly, I would have sunk A LOT of time into this game if I had played it as a kid.




Graphics:

The graphics for this game have aged pretty darned well. The entire thing is 2D and sprite based. It has held up so much better than anything 3D from this era. Bright, sharp, colorful, and detailed 2D graphics, just oozing with personality. The characters are varied and diverse. The backgrounds are all fun to look at. Each section of the castle seems to have its own unique look and feel. It's very atmospheric, like a hodgepodge of many ideas introduced in previous Castlevania games. 

Special shout out to the enemy design. This game has such fun and creative enemies to fight. Some of the bosses are so big, they take up almost an entire screen. My favorite is the big ball of bodies. Such fun to hack away at. I also liked how previous areas from Castlevania games are reimagined, like Dracula's throne room, the entrance hall with the zombies, and the staircase that goes down to where the fish creatures are jumping out of the water. It was a real treat to see these area brought to life with 32 bit graphics.

I would have absolutely loved this as a kid. I think one of the reasons I never checked it out is because I was big into 3D at the time. To me, 2D graphics were a thing of the past - the Genesis and NES era. Man, what the heck was I thinking?




Sound:

The music from this game gets a lot of critical acclaim - and for good reason. It's awesome! I have had different songs from this game's soundtrack stuck in my head for days now. It's rattling around in my head right now as I write this review. Definitely one of the better game soundtracks I've heard lately. A lot of this music is going directly onto all my video game related music playlists. It is so good.

That said, it is not quite as iconic as the music from the NES games. Those tunes will live in my head forever. As much as I like to bash on Simon's Quest because I did not like it as a kid, I have to admit it has some great music. I don't think Symphony of the Night is quite there. In 20 years will I still be humming the music to this game? Probably not. It's still damn good though.

Sound effects are fine. Voice acting is laughably bad, but in a charming way. Think of Resident Evil or other games from this era. So bad, it's good. That said, I do really enjoy Alucard's voice. He actually sounds like a real badass.




Overall:

I liked this game. How could I not? I like Castlevania. I like Metroid. And there's no way that sooo many people could have been wrong about this. It's a great PS1 title.

That said, I am not sure I like it more than previous Castlevania games. The NES games still hold a special place in my heart. I enjoyed this game and appreciate the heck out of it, but it just isn't quite there at the top of the Castlevania hill for me. But I see why so many people like it. It is a great game.

I'm going to replay this someday. I'm going to wait two or three years, just long enough for me to have forgotten everything about it except for the minor details. Then I am going to play a different version of the game, like the Saturn one. And I am going to see where it stands. I have a feeling this is a game that will grow on me over the years. I am going to like it better when I replay it as opposed to how I feel about it now. And I really like it now. So while I am not going to give this game an A+, or even an A, I feel like that may change in the future.

Should you play this game? Absolutely. Don't let it take 27 years like it did with me.


THE GRADE:
A-


For a complete index of all my past posts and game reviews, click


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Thursday, August 15, 2024

Video Game Review #527: RoboCop Versus The Terminator

RoboCop Versus The Terminator
Super Nintendo


Nostalgia Factor:

When I was a kid, I rented the Genesis version of this game for one weekend. I played through it, beat it, returned it to the video store, and never played it again. In my late 20s, I ended up buying the Super Nintendo version of RoboCop vs the Terminator at a used game store. It had been so long since I'd played the Genesis game, I didn't realize that this was a completely different version of the game. I slogged my way through it (taking note of the high difficulty level) and beat the game. I put it back into my collection of SNES games and never played it again.

This had to have been about 15 years ago. That was the last time I had played any version of RoboCop vs the Terminator. In recent years, I've been reading a lot about these two games and the differences between them. Most people seem to have come to the consensus that the Genesis version is the far superior version of the game. 

Even though I had played both games, I didn't have a strong opinion either way. I simply didn't remember them well enough to say which one was better and which one was worse. So I have decided to revisit them and make that decision myself. First up: The SNES version!

I remember little about the game aside from its difficulty. I remember climbing ladders and jumping across conveyor belts and shooting enemies. And that's it. How would I feel about it now? That is what we are here to find out!




Story:

This game actually has a somewhat interesting story, which is told through comic book style frames in-between stages. In the Terminator-dominated future, it is discovered that RoboCop's human/machine design led to the awakening of Skynet. A resistance soldier is sent back in time to eliminate RoboCop to prevent the bad future from happening. Of course, an army of Terminators is sent back to stop her.

The assassin fails, and the awakening of Skynet is actually fast forwarded when RoboCop connects to the Cyberdyne network with his little hand-spiky thing. The game leaps 50 years into the future. RoboCop's mind has been trapped inside the computer network while Skynet and the Terminators have conquered the Earth. RoboCop is able to take advantage of a security lapse to rebuild his old body and put his mind back into it. Armed with intimate knowledge of how to take down Skynet, RoboCop sets off on a quest to destroy the program once and for all, and restore humanity's freedom.




Gameplay:

This is a pretty standard side scrolling shooter. Using the d-pad, you control RoboCop. The down arrow makes you duck. There is a jump button, a shoot button, and a button where you can switch weapons. That's pretty much it. You can fire up and in diagonal directions, which is a big plus. Unfortunately, RoboCop moves VERY slowly, like a battle tank inching its way through a muddy battlefield. You're going to have to destroy everything in your path, because running is not an option.

The point of each stage is to make it from point A to point B. Some stages are very straightforward. Others are more maze-like. Some offer branching paths that take you to the same destination. But overall I would say the game is very focused on getting you to your destination. Very rarely did I get lost, and I never once had to turn to the Internet for help.

Things start out pretty easy. I breezed through many of the early stages. The game does get pretty tough, quick. What is frustrating is that you have to make it through a stage without dying. Even just one death will send you back to the very beginning of the stage. And this game has some fairly long stages!

There's not much variety to be found here. You control RoboCop. You walk. You shoot things. You make it to the end of the level. Rinse and repeat. There is one Mode-7 style stage, but it is over and done with in about two minutes, and it is very easy to complete. It almost doesn't count when we are talking about variety in the gameplay.

While the game may be a little repetitive and a bit frustrating in its difficulty, I still enjoyed it for the most part. I like how in the "modern days", you can't just kill a Terminator by shooting it. You have to knock them into pits or lure them into traps. In the future, you have access to weapons that can take them down pretty quickly.

The whole game is somewhere between ten and fifteen stages long. You can easily beat this in one playing session - unless you find the difficulty a bit too much. Luckily the game has a password system. I used save states as I played through this (I know, I know, don't judge me). So I was able to beat this with relatively little trouble. I refuse to apologize for this, however, because as a dad who works full time, I have very little time to game. 

It would have taken some time and some trial and error, but I'm sure I could have beaten this "the right way", just as I did when I first played it back in my twenties. I just chose not to.




Graphics:

This is a good looking game. It's not phenomenal looking or anything like that. The presentation is a bit drab, with the generic menus and boring title screen. The comic strip story sequences are nothing to write home about either.

The actual stages themselves look good though. RoboCop and the Terminator enemies look good. Everything looks good, but not great. It's a passable game. I suppose my biggest complaint is the fact that many of the levels have the same mechanical/industrial feel to them. I would have liked to see a little more variety and a little more color. But I understand it is hard to be colorful when most of the game takes place in a drab, desolate future.




Sound:

There is nothing special about this game's music. I just finished playing it earlier today, and I have already forgotten most of it. If middle of the road, futuristic techno is your thing, maybe you'll like it. I am indifferent.

Sound effects are relatively weak, too. For a game full of guns and explosions, nothing really gets the heart pumping. 




Overall:

Like I said before, I had a fairly decent time playing this game. I definitely say it an above average title. But I can also see why I had such a tough time remembering it from when I had first played it. It is just so very basic. There's nothing here that makes this game stand out from the crowd. It's not bad, but it is not exceptionally strong either. It's okay. It's good. It's aiiiight. But I can't muster up any more enthusiasm than that.

Should you play this game? Sure. Will it leave a lasting impression on you? Probably not. I can pretty much tell you that in another year or two, I will think back on this game and not be able to remember anything about it. And that's okay. The game is good for what it is. A slightly above average shooter. Will I be returning to it in my life at any point in the future? Probably not.


THE GRADE:
C+


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Friday, August 9, 2024

Video Game Review #526: Cool Spot

Cool Spot
Sega Genesis


Nostalgia Factor:

I know what you're thinking. Dan, you already reviewed Cool Spot back in 2015. Why are you reviewing it again?

Let me explain.

I grew up with the Genesis version of Cool Spot. It was one of the best 2D platformers in my collection. I ended up selling off this game, along with all my other Genesis games, at some point in the mid 90s to make way for the Saturn and PlayStation. I wouldn't play the game again until I picked up the SNES version and reviewed it back in 2015.

Something bugged me about my experience with the game, though. I remember thinking the game was awesome when I was a kid. When I played it in 2015, I did not have a great time with the game and gave it the grade of a C. Mediocre. Usually when I like a game as a kid, I enjoy it as an adult, too. I chalked it up to an anomaly and moved on with my life.

But since then, I've stumbled upon a few online reviews that compare the two versions of the game. Every single review says the Genesis game is better, and that the SNES version is weak. That got me thinking. What if the game wasn't really that bad after all? What if the game was as good as my memories from when I was a kid?

Took me a while, but last night was the night I decided to return to the Genesis version of the game, nearly 25 years after I played it last. Would it be better than the Super Nintendo version?

You bet your booty. Keep reading for my full impressions.




Story:

This game does not really have a story, at least it does not have one that is actually explained in the game. It is your goal to fight through eleven stages. At the end of each stage is a Spot locked up in a cage. Who has been locking them up is never explained. Once you rescue all eleven Spots, the game ends.




Gameplay:

Right off the bat I started having fun with this game. It was like coming back to an old friend. I quickly figured out why I didn't like the Super Nintendo version - the screen is cropped and much of the action is completely cut off. In that version, you often could not see where you were going or jumping, requiring you to take blind leaps of faith. It made the precision platforming stages (like the one above the bath tub or the one on the train) a MAJOR pain in the butt that sucked all the fun and enjoyment out of the game for me. This version has no such issues. I had a very fun time playing it, from beginning to end.

This is not a linear platformer where the goal is to simply make it from the beginning of the stage to the end. These stages are big and require a lot of exploring. The goal is to look for red discs to collect. Once you collect 60, there is a cage somewhere towards the end of the level that unlocks. Free the Spot from the cage and you clear the stage. Again, it is crucial to collect enough red discs along the way. It is very easy to make it to the cage, but then not have enough discs collected to unlock it. Then you have to turn around and backtrack and look for ones you missed.

If you can collect 85 red discs, you unlock a bonus stage. The stage takes place inside a can of 7-Up. The goal is to bounce around on bubbles, looking for a hidden letter within the stage. There are six bonus stages in total, with one hidden letter in each of them. The letters spell "uncola" which is what people called 7-Up back in the day. Some people, anyway. The saying never really stuck.

This is a fairly difficult game, with lots of enemies cheap-shotting you left and right. Health items are pretty rare to find, as they only randomly appear when you kill an enemy. The nice thing about the game is that once you kill an enemy, they are gone forever. This allows you to methodically explore each stage and collect the items you need to advance the game. Another reason the SNES version sucked is because these enemies respawn, artificially inflating the game's difficulty level along with its cropped screen issues.

The whole thing can be beaten in about 90 minutes or so. The game is only eleven stages long, but these stages take a while to beat because of all the exploring you have to do. As a kid, I found this game had a ton of replay value. As an adult, I do not know if I will be replaying this anytime soon. But I have to admit, all of the exploring and collectibles makes it feel like a more rewarding experience than a simple "get from point A to point B" 2D platformer.




Graphics:

This game looks better than I had remembered. It is very colorful. The world of the game feels rich and alive. The characters are well animated. I like the variety in the stages. It almost has a Toy Story feel to it. I guess my only complaint is that a few stage backgrounds, like the dock and the toy room, are reused a couple times.




Sound:

This game has a better soundtrack than you would think. The stage music is upbeat and toe-tapping. You'll find yourself vibing along as you play. I really enjoyed it. The sound effects are good, too. And the little noises your character makes from time to time. I have zero complaints.



 
Overall:

I am very, very glad I returned to this game, and I didn't just abandon it forever after playing the mediocre SNES version. It's so freaking good. I still can't get over how much better it is.

If you have the means to play this game, I would advise checking it out. It is very fun. In fact, and I hope this is not blasphemous to say, it may be one of the better platformers on the Sega Genesis. 

Don't let the fact that this is a product placement game with a soda mascot as the main character distract you from giving Cool Spot a chance. This is not heartless or soulless at all. Quite the opposite actually. It is just bursting with fun and personality. Play this if you can.


THE GRADE:
B+


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Saturday, August 3, 2024

2024 Movie Rankings (July)



I only watched six movies in the month of July, as it was a very busy month. Five of these six will be advancing to my year end ranking. The movies I watched in July were:

Awake
Glass
Dr. Giggles
Bone Tomahawk
Grizzly Man 
Transformers


Not Moving On:

Awake
I was scrolling through the movie list on Netflix, in the mood for something post apocalyptic when I came across this movie. The premise is: one day everyone suddenly finds they cannot sleep. People start going crazy, hallucinating, and dying. Seems like a neat premise on paper but in reality the movie was terrible. It is not only the worst movie I watched this month, it is one of the worst movies I have watched in a long, long time.


Moving On:

Dr. Giggles
In a normal month, this movie probably would not make my top five. It is not very good, but you know what? I still like it. It is campy and fun. Dr. Giggles himself is an underrated horror villain. I remember watching this with my mom when I was a kid, and we both enjoyed it and would imitate the laugh.

Glass
This movie was not nearly as bad as people made it out to be. What exactly was the problem with it? I enjoyed it. It brings the characters from Unbreakable and Split together and goes back to the theme of Unbreakable focusing around real life super heroes. I thought it was fun.

Bone Tomahawk
This was probably the strongest movie I watched this month. I am not a huge Western fan, but the story was simple and focused enough that it kept my attention despite the movie's relatively long length. I enjoyed the character building and how the characters react when things quickly take a turn for the worse. And then there is "the scene" which I read about long before I watched this movie. I knew it was coming, but I can only imagine how shocking it must have been for those who did not expect it.

Grizzly Man
An interesting documentary about a guy who lived side by side with bears. That is vastly oversimplifying the premise of this movie, but I feel I'd be typing for hours explaining the ins and outs of this movie, and that is not what the point of this post is about. The point is: it is enjoyable and takes a lot of turns that will surprise you. Thank to Staff Picks for doing an episode on this movie, or I never would have watched it.

Transformers
I have not seen a Transformers movie in years, but I do remember liking the original one when it first came out. I decided to come back and revisit it. It is pretty good, but not as fun as I remembered. I plan to check out the sequels (I stopped after two when I was younger) but my hopes are not high.


With these 5 movies advancing, here is a look at the top 35. 7 months down, 5 to go! At the end, we'll have 60 movies - 5 from each month that move on. And then I will determine my favorite. Here are the 35 that have moved on:

Old
Last Night
Doctor Sleep
A Star is Born
Mystic River
Dune (1984)
Dune: Part One
Dune: Part Two
Legends of the Fall
Cloverfield
Glass
The Shape of Water
Milo and Otis
Gerald's Game
Dr. Giggles
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Extended Edition
Ghost
Milk
Fried Green Tomatoes
The Four Falls of Buffalo
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
Open Water
The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker
Bone Tomahawk
Grizzly Man
Dumb and Dumber
The Skeleton Key
The Illusionist
The Prestige
Rear Window
Transformers
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Extended Edition
The Disaster Artist
Saw
Halloween


Past rankings:

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Friday, August 2, 2024

Video Game Review #525: Kung Fu

Kung Fu
Nintendo Entertainment System


Nostalgia Factor:

Growing up in the 80s, it seemed like everyone who had an NES also had this game, except for me. As a result, I played a lot of Kung Fu as a kid, despite never actually owning it. I was not very good at the game, usually running out of lives just a few stages into the action. 

Kung Fu was never a favorite of mine. I played it, not because I liked it, but because it was there. The NES era came and went, and I never gave Kung Fu much more thought after that. In the early 2000s, I started dating a girl named Jessica. She and her roommates had an NES hooked up in their apartment, and we played a lot of games like Dr Mario, TMNT, Tetris, and - you guessed it - Kung Fu. 

Again, I found that I was not very good at the game. I made it to the fourth stage and then gave up because it got too difficult. I probably poured more time into Kung Fu than I previously had at any point in my life. I really wanted to beat this game, but I just couldn't do it. If I had known that the game only had five stages, I probably would have pressed on. But I just couldn't make it through that fourth stage. That was the last time I have played Kung Fu. It must have been around 2004. So that's 20 years ago.

Why did I decide to come back to it now? Closure, baby. I hate that I've been playing this game for nearly my entire life, and I still have not beaten it. When I was looking through a list of NES games on my RetroPie and I saw Kung Fu - my mind was instantly made up. I was going to play this game and I was going to beat it.

Read on to see how it went.




Story:

You play as Thomas. You love Sylvia. Sylvia loves you. You must fight through a horde of bad guys to save Sylvia from Mr. X, who has tied her to a chair.

That's all the story the game gives you.




Gameplay:

This is a pretty straightforward game. There are five side-scrolling stages. You walk in a straight line towards the stage exit. Enemies will attack you from in front and from behind. You have to dispatch them with a kung fu move - either a kick or a punch. And then you press forward. More enemies attack. You beat them, too. Onward you go.

Once you reach the end of a stage, you fight a boss character. Then you ascend a set of stairs. The next stage begins. Each stage has a different challenge. The second stage, for example, you have to survivor an onslaught of pots containing dragons being launched at you. A later stage has you fighting giant bees. One constant is the enemy forces and their unrelenting assault on your character.

There are several different enemy types. There is the standard opponent, the little person, and the guy who throws knives. The first two enemy types can be defeated pretty easily. They all die with one hit. But the knife thrower takes a couple hits to take down. If he throws a knife, you have to duck under it. If he throws it low, you have to time your jump right.

Most standard enemies can be beaten with minimal thought or strategy, but the bosses are a little different. Their moves can take you down quickly, so you have to pay attention and plan your attacks accordingly. I like to just rush in and overwhelm them before they can really react to me. It works for most bosses, but a more "dart in and out" strategy works better for others.

After you beat all five stages and rescue the girl, the game starts over again. The entire thing loops over and over again, becoming slightly more difficult each time through. I made it through the game one extra time - but then things were too tough for me on the next loop. I didn't bother trying again to see how far I could make it. I had made it through all five stages two times. I considered the game beaten.

Yay, my younger self would be so proud of me. I finally beat Kung Fu.




Graphics:

This game, with its plain blue background, does not look like much at first glance. But you know what? It has its charms. I've always enjoyed the authentic feel of the game's setting, like a kung fu movie. You make your way through a temple, there are over the top enemies, you even fight dragons. All to rescue the girl tied up on the chair.

To me, this is an iconic game visually. As soon as I see a screenshot of Kung Fu it makes me feel a certain way. Even though this was never my favorite game as a kid, I've come to appreciate the look and feel of the game.




Sound:

The music isn't great, but it is not bad either. I like the beat of the stage music. Gets you pumped to fight a nonstop wave of enemies. The in-between stage music is okay. Again, not great but not bad either.

Sound effects are fine. Simple, but effective. Not really much else to say here. It is a fairly primitive sounding game, but just like its graphics - I find it has a certain charm.




Overall:

This may not have been a game I really liked as a kid, but you know what? I had a good time with this. A surprisingly good time. I don't know why I never really liked it growing up. It does get difficult as you make it deeper into the game, but it never felt like it was too unfair or anything like that. It could be mastered with time and effort. Maybe that's it. I never owned the game as a kid, so I didn't have the time to be able to sit down and pump hours of effort into the game. Closest I came is when I played this in 2004, but I had other things on my mind back then.

If you would have asked me last week if I would have put Kung Fu into my top 20 NES games of all time, I would have said no. But now? This is pretty darned good. I do have to criticize its length. The five stages are very short and can bee beaten in 25 to 30 minutes. I don't like how you loop back to stage one when you beat the game. I've never been one to pursue a high score. I just want to beat the game and then move onto the next one. 

I am going to give this a B. I think I would have gone a little bit higher if the game was slightly longer and had a little more meat on its bones gameplay-wise. Definitely a must play if you're an NES fan though. If you are old like me, you have probably already played it. If you have never played it, this is something I would 100% recommend.



THE GRADE:
B


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Thursday, August 1, 2024

2024 Things (July)





7.1: Listened to 1 episode of the Cartridge Club podcast (CC Weekly #64). Listened to 1 episode of Digging Six Feet Under podcast (Season 4 Primer). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club podcast (HBO's The Outsider Review + Castle Rock Season Two Final Thoughts). 

7.2: Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.05). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde podcast (ep 180). Watched 1 episode of Fear The Walking Dead (8.06). Watched movie: Awake.

7.3: Watched 2 episodes of Survivor (24.01 and 24.02). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.06). Watched 1 episode of Jurassic World: Chaos Theory (1.06). Watched 1 episode of Star Wars: The Acolyte (1.06).

7.4: Watched 1 episode of Survivor (24.03). Listened to 1 episode of Digging Six Feet Under podcast (s04e01). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries podcast (The Haunting of Ball Cemetery). Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast (ep 14). 

7.5: Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (ep 49). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club podcast (A Guide to Stephen King in 2020).

7.6: Watched 1 episode of The Boys (4.06). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro podcast (ep 42).

7.7: Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries podcast (Lost in the Ashes). Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Grizzly Man). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (ep 130). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.07). Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast (ep 15). 

7.8: Watched 1 episode of Survivor (24.04). Listened to 1 episode of 7th Rule podcast (ep 239). Watched movie: Grizzly Man. Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde podcast (ep 181).

7.9: Watched 2 episodes of Survivor (24.05 and 24.06). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.08). Watched 1 episode of Fear The Walking Dead (8.07).

7.10: Watched 1 episode of Fear The Walking Dead (8.08). Watched 1 episode of Star Wars: The Acolyte (1.07). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.09).

7.11: Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.10). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro podcast (ep 41). Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (Once Bitten). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (24.07). Finished video game: God of War: Ragnarok. Watched 1 episode of The Boys (4.07).

7.12: Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.11). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Gaming podcast (Game Launch Edition: Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack podcast (Weirdest Retro Gaming Merch and Accessories). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (24.08). Watched 1 episode of Receiver (ep 1).

7.13: Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.12). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (CC Weekly #65). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (24.09).

7.14: Listened to 1 episode of Digging Six Feet Under podcast (s04e02). Listened to 1 episode of Fantasy Football Happy Hour (1.29.24 episode). Listened to 1 episode of 7th Rule podcast (ep 240). Listened to 1 episode of The Losers Club podcast (Is the Coronavirus Captain Trips?). 

7.15: Finished video game: Quest 64. Listened to 1 episode of Ear Biscuits podcast (ep 37). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde podcast (ep 182). Watched 1 episode of Fear The Walking Dead (8.09).

7.16: Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (The Poseidon Adventure). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.13). Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema podcast (How the Grinch Stole Christmas - 2000). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (24.10). Watched 1 episode of Receiver (ep 2). Finished video game: Lethal Enforcers II: Gun Fighters.

7.17: Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.14). Watched 1 episode of Fear The Walking Dead (8.10). 

7.18: Watched 1 episode of Star Wars: The Acolyte (1.08). Watched 1 episode of The Boys (4.08). Watched 2 episodes of The Challenge (39.15 and 39.16). Listened to 1 episode of Unsolved Mysteries podcast (The Salsa Queen Murder). Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast (ep 402).

7.19: Watched 1 episode of Survivor (24.11). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro podcast (ep 43). Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.01).

7.20: Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.02). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack podcast (Mike Daily Interview). Watched movie: Glass.

7.21: Watched movie: Bone Tomahawk. Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.17).

7.22: Finished video game: Super Mario Galaxy. Listened to 1 episode of Cartridge Club podcast (CC Portable #5). Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast (ep 16). Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (WarGames).

7.23: Watched 1 episode of Survivor (24.12). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.18). Watched 2 episodes of Fear The Walking Dead (8.11 and 8.12). Watched 1 episode of Cobra Kai (6.01).

7.24: Watched 1 episode of Cobra Kai (6.02). Watched 1 episode of The Challenge (39.19). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (24.13). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro podcast (BONUS MUSICAST: SaturnDave's Music Picks for Halloween 2021).

7.25: Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.03). Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast (ep 403). Watched 2 episodes of Survivor (24.14 and 24.15). Watched 1 episode of Cobra Kai (6.03).

7.26: Watched 2 episodes of The Challenge (39.20 and 39.21). Listened to 1 episode of The Retrograde podcast (ep 183). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro podcast (Game Select - The Mansion of Hidden Souls and Lunacy). Finished video game: Quake II.

7.27: Watched 2 episodes of Big Brother (26.04 and 26.05). Listened to 1 episode of Digging Six Feet Under podcast (s04e03). Listened to 1 episode of Staff Picks (The King of Kong). Watched movie: Dr. Giggles. Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (12.01).

7.28: Finished video game: Stray.  Listened to 1 episode of 7th Rule podcast (ep 241). Listened to 1 episode of Sega Saturn Shiro (BONUS MUSICAST: Saturn Music Picks on Vinyl). 

7.29: Listened to 1 episode of Collateral Cinema (At the Movies Edition: The Rise of the Skywalker). Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast (ep 17). Listened to 1 episode of Digging Six Feet Under podcast (s04e04). Watched 1 episode of Cobra Kai (6.04). Watched 1 episode of Receiver (ep 3). Listened to 1 episode of The Cartridge Club (CC Weekly #66). 

7.30: Watched 1 episode of Big Brother (26.06). Watched 1 episode of The Amazing Race (12.02). Watched movie: Transformers. Finished video game: The Ren & Stimpy Show: Fire Dogs.

7.31: Listened to 1 episode of Dynasty Happy Hour (ep 404). Listened to 1 episode of Arcade Attack podcast (ep 168). Watched 1 episode of Survivor (25.01). Watched 1 episode of Cobra Kai (6.05). Listened to 1 episode of the Stephen King Cast (ep 103). Finished video game: Kung Fu.




17 episodes of The Challenge watched
16 episodes of Survivor watched
8 video games finished
7 episodes of Fear the Walking Dead watched
7 episodes of Dynasty Happy Hour podcast played
6 episodes of Cartridge Club podcast played
6 episodes of Sega Saturn Shiro podcast played
6 movies watched
6 episodes of Big Brother watched
5 episodes of Staff Picks played
5 episodes of Digging Six Feet Under played
5 episodes of Cobra Kai watched



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Wednesday, July 31, 2024

Video Game Review #524: The Ren & Stimpy Show: Fire Dogs

The Ren & Stimpy Show: Fire Dogs
Super Nintendo


Nostalgia Factor:

I first played this game back in 1994 or '95. I didn't have a Super Nintendo back then, but my stepbrother Kyle brought his over for the weekend. We went to Blockbuster and checked out this game. I remember being super excited to play it, only for that excitement to quickly turn into disappointment because the game sucked so bad. Back then, when you rented a game for the weekend, you generally forced yourself to try and like it, so you could squeeze your money's worth out of the game. But there was no forcing myself to like this one. My stepbrother and I abandoned it for the entire weekend after just an hour or two of playing it. All I remember from my time with the game was how we did not like it, and how it consisted of just two level types, looped over and over again.

I am not sure why I decided to revisit it here in 2024. I suppose my end goal of this blog is to review every game I have ever played in my life, so it was inevitable I'd eventually come around to this game.

Would I find that I had been too harsh on the game, or would I find that my bad memories of it were completely justified? Time to dive in.




Story:

This must be one of those games you need the instruction manual for, because NOTHING about the story is actually explained in-game. I have not seen the Ren & Stimpy episode this is based on either, so I came into this knowing absolutely nothing about what was going on.

From what I was able to gather from my short time with the game, Ren & Stimpy are trying to help out at the local fire station by gathering all the equipment for the firefighters and putting the equipment in the fire truck. But they are doing it undercover, as the firefighters do not like them because they aren't Dalmatians. So they have to paint themselves as Dalmatians to sneak by. Or something. I don't know.

Like I said, nothing is explained through in-game cutscenes or text sequences. You are just immediately thrust into the action.




Gameplay:

This game operates on a day-to-day schedule, similar to Paperboy. Once you've made it through all the days - you beat the game. Not that I bothered with trying to do that. I passed about two or three days before the game became too annoyingly difficult for me. So I told myself it just wasn't worth it and I stopped playing and shut the game off.

Yeah, it is that bad.

Each in-game day consists of two stages: a side-scrolling stage where you collect fire equipment at the fire station, and a stage where you run around with a trampoline catching things that are being thrown out of burning buildings. You don't actually fight any fires in this game.

Let's start with the side-scrolling stages, and why they suck. You start out by the fire truck in the station, and you see an outline of all the items you have to collect. A fireman helmet, coat, boots, rope, etc. You have to scour the station for these items as a timer winds down. If you don't collect them all and return to the fire truck in time, you die and lose a life. Then you have to start all over again.

The fire station is like a maze. The only way to make your way through it is by trial and error, remembering where all the items are hidden and how to get there. As the game progresses, the station gets bigger and bigger, more maze-like, and more difficult to navigate. Fires pop up and can burn you, smoke clouds cover your face, but most threatening of all is the fireman that roams the station, seemingly at random. If he touches you, he kills you with one hit. So you have to run away from him. He's like the alien stalking you in Alien Isolation, or the Nemesis in Resident Evil. He touches you once, you die and have to start the whole level over again. The way to avoid him is by painting yourself like a Dalmatian. He won't attack you when you look like one. Unfortunately, there are sprinklers and other obstacles set up to wash your paint off and make you vulnerable again.

When I first tried playing this game, I couldn't even make it past the first level. It took me like six attempts. I didn't realize there was a run button, and that you could use the items in your inventory, such as the fire extinguisher (which puts out small fires and freezes the pursuing fireman). I also didn't realize how the whole "paint yourself like a Dalmatian" thing worked. Nothing is explained in the game, and it never tells you which button does what. So I had a very miserable time trying to make it through the first level when I didn't know how anything worked. Another instance of it being valuable to have the manual for the game.

I was ready to say "fork this" and turn the game off, giving it an F score and labeling it as the worst game I've played for this blog. But I stepped away, found an online copy of the game's manual, and familiarized myself with the mechanics of the game. When I returned and played the first level again, I was able to beat it easily with the knowledge I had at hand. And you know what? I had a decent time doing it.

Then I moved onto the second part of the first day: the trampoline stage. In this stage, you have to catch things being thrown from a burning building in a trampoline that Ren and Stimpy are running around and holding. Once you save a pre-determined amount of items, gold coins are tossed down. You have to collect enough to fill a meter, at which point you clear the stage. Once again, you are timed. If the timer runs out and you haven't collected enough gold, you die and have to start the stage over again.

These stages are a MAJOR pain in the butt. I do not have a problem with them in theory, but in practice they are way too long. It takes you like six minutes to fill that meter. Six minutes of running around catching things, with little to no time to breathe, and no margin for error. It sucks.

But if you pass the stage, you make it to the next in-game day, where you again have to explore the fire house to collect all of the needed fire fighting items. Pass this stage, and you play another trampoline stage. Pass this, and you move along to the next in-game day. Each day gets progressively harder. Like I said, I didn't bother to play past the third day. I'd seen enough, and I was not having any fun whatsoever. Apparently you have to go through all seven days of the week, and then you see an ending sequence and you beat the game.

Noooooo thank you. I consider myself fairly easy to please. On top of that, I am someone who will almost never review a game until I've finished it, just to give it a fair shake. There was no chance of that happening here. That's how bad and repetitive it was.




Graphics:

I suppose the game looks okay. I am not too familiar with the source material, as I never watched Ren & Stimpy as a kid. But it seems to capture the look and feel of the show pretty well. The fire station looks good. The visual effects like the water sprinklers look nice, as do the character animations. I love the game's use of color, as well.

Unfortunately, as there are only two different level types (the fire station and the trampoline stages), you better get used to looking at the same thing over and over again.




Sound:

The game sounds good. It has a nice, upbeat soundtrack that sticks in your head as you play. The soundtrack may be the best thing about the game. A couple of the game's tunes are 16-bit versions of classical songs, such as Sevilla and the William Tell Overture. These immediately went onto my video game music playlist.

 


Overall:

This is not a good game, and it is indeed one of the worst games I've played for this blog. That said, once you understand the game's mechanics it does become a bit more fun to play. I suppose if I actually owned this game as a kid, I would have forced myself to play it over and over until I became a master of it. I would have tried to convince myself I liked it.

I am not going to give it an F. It's not unplayable garbage or anything like that. But let's be real and admit that this is not a good game, by any definable metric. The fact that I didn't even bother to finish it, when I generally make it a rule to finish every game I review, should tell you something about how bad this is. Even if you are a big Ren and Stimpy fan, I would suggest avoiding this game at all costs. 


THE GRADE:
D-


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