I remember the first time I ever heard about Mortal Kombat. I must have been about 9 or 10. My brother was having a conversation with someone about how there was this new game in the arcade with blood, guts, and gruesome violence in it. Being a relatively morbid kid (and I guess I still am the same way) my interest was instantly piqued. Up until this point, games were relatively harmless. Mario and Sonic were big, and the most heinous act of violence you would ever see in a game was a punch or someone getting shot and then falling over and vanishing.
I had an image of the game all formed in my head. It would be a 2D side scroller like Contra. You would run around blowing people away, and they would explode into a red mist of blood and body parts. It was going to be awesome.
And then when I finally did play the game in the arcade, reality set in. And I was very, very disappointed. Fighting games weren't really that big back then. The only one I had played was Street Fighter 2, and I didn't really like it at all. I had this game all built up in my head only to be crushed that it was in a genre that I didn't even like.
But still, games were bloodless back then and I wanted to see what the title had to offer. I was willing to at least give it a shot and see if it was something I would like. And it did grow on me. It wasn't until the game hit home consoles that I truly fell in love. I was fortunate enough to have a Sega Genesis, which presented a version of the game in all it's bloody glory.
The Super Nintendo version left out the blood and also watered down the fatalities. It's true that for the Sega version you had to enter a code to be able to play with blood (which is basically a laughable concept when you look at games nowadays), but hey this was all new to everyone back in 1992.
I played this game like there was no tomorrow. It was the first fighting game that I truly actually liked (I'm still not really big on the genre) and I was able to discover all the game's secrets, like finding Reptile. I also, of course, played through the game with each character and performed all the fatalities which I was able to find in a video game magazine.
The thing about the Mortal Kombat series is that it expanded and got better with each subsequent entry. So when Mortal Kombat 2 came out, I really had no reason to go back and play the original. So let's say I got the first game in 1993. The second one came out a year later in 94. Even if I didn't get the sequel right away, the longest I would have played the original for is 2 years. So that means the last time I would have played this game is 1995. So it has been at least 20 years since I have played the original Mortal Kombat. Yes, now I feel really, really old.
How does the game stand up after all that time?
Unfortunately, not very well.
Before I proceed any further, I must note that this game was played on Mortal Kombat Kollection for the PS3. I am counting this as the arcade version since it is a straight port, with the exception of trophy and online support (which I didn't even bother with).
I had grown up playing the Genesis version, and since it is so long since I have played it, I can't really discern any major differences from that version with the arcade version. I'm sure the graphics are slightly better here, as well as the sound. But it is really nothing too noticeable.
Everything looks and sounds.... fine. This is an old game, so you have to expect the technical side of things to be a bit dated, which they are. It simply isn't fair to judge this game by today's standards. What I am really looking at is the fun factor.
Despite growing up playing this game, and thoughts of it bringing such fuzzy, happy memories to my mind - I really didn't have much fun here. There is a limited number of characters you can use. Aside from their special moves, they all move and control basically the same.
The single player mode is very basic. You fight everyone else (including yourself) and then must suffer through three endurance matches where you have to fight through two characters on one life bar. After you do this, you go on to the end where you face off with Goro and Shang Tsung. And then the game is over. Okay, so this is an old fighting game. You don't expect it to be very long. So I won't hold that against it.
It's just not very fun. Certainly not as fun as what I remember as a kid. First of all, the difficulty level. The first few fights are laughable easy. Then as you move deeper into the game, the game becomes just like that unbearably hard. Don't even bother trying to use your special attacks because the computer will block them EVERY SINGLE TIME and then beat the shit out of you when you are recovering from using them.
By the time I got to the endurance rounds, which were a huge pain in the ass, my strategy basically became to just pepper my opponents with jump kicks, because that seemed to be the only thing that would work on them. Or, oddly enough, just standing still and punching and letting them walk into it. Like I said, forget about your special moves. You can't do anything too fancy. The game devolves into jump kick and punch for the last 6 or 7 fights of the game. And even then it is still very hard.
I understand that fighting games weren't that big back then. And that this was the first game in the MK series, so the makers of the game were learning this all as they went along too. Plus this is the arcade version. They want people to die a lot the further they get into the game so they keep feeding quarters into the machine. But seriously. This was fucking hard. Maybe my memory is just playing tricks on me, but I don't remember the Genesis version being this difficult.
I always did enjoy the story of Mortal Kombat. So I really wanted to go through with each character and see all the endings. But I just couldn't do it. It is SO not worth the anger. I was approaching "chuck my controller out the window" levels of frustration. What should have been a game I could beat in under a half hour turned into a 2 plus hour affair because I kept dying so much. Of course, I don't want things to be too easy, but seriously. Some of the fights were flawless victories for the computer. It was embarassing. I don't know how I did it, but I finally made it through. I beat the game twice, and that was enough for me.
Usually when I play a game that I loved as a child, I enjoy the rush of nostalgia that comes with playing through it as an adult. But those feelings just weren't there for Mortal Kombat. I kind of hated this. The only thing that really kept me going was seeing everyone's fatalities. Which really aren't that gruesome or outrageous to begin with.
If you grew up playing the game like I did, you will probably feel the same way I have if you replay it. It has not aged well. At all. And if you missed out on this game the first time around, I would advise you to not waste your time or money.
I'm torn on how to grade this. Do I give it a high mark based on my old feelings for it? Do I give it an F because I hated it so much this time around? Do I compromise and give it a C? The last game I reviewed, Home Alone 2, I gave a C. And I had a much better time playing that than I did this game. So I feel a C is too high.
Nostalgia will keep this game from failing, but I haven't disliked a game like I disliked this in quite some time. Take your D and run with it, Mortal Kombat, before I change my mind.
We start off with some kind of FOX show about crazy things caught on tape
- Drunk redneck dude tries to skateboard and busts his shit. It's ok. He's fine. Except he needs another beer.
- Asian dudes start a fire trying to slice open a giant gas balloon shaped like a cigarette
- Man gets raped by a donkey
30 Seconds To Fame. I'll post a few highlights
- Lady plays a trombone with her foot and gets booed off the stage
- Black woman sings "New Attitude"
- Contortionist squeezes body through a tennis racket, and crawls inside a very small box
- Man lights fist on fire and smashes it through concrete blocks
- Plendl the Spinner
- Jump roping harmonica player. He gets booed off the stage. WTF people? Now that's some talent!
- Funny old man tap dances
- Spanish opera singer
- Dude spins around the stage in a giant wheel contraption
- The woman who sang "New Attitude" ends up winning, and falls down in disbelief when her name is called
(15:50)
Clips of gay people and drag queens set to the tune of "Dancing Queen" on some ABC show. Bruce Vilanch is carted in wearing a tiara
Jamie Kennedy on Oprah. He shows a clip from his show where he plays a casting director, and tricks an aspiring actor into making out with an old woman. After the taping, she comes on to the actor and freaks him out. He then finds out that he's been Xed.
Banzai. I'll post some highlights.
- How many balloons does it take to lift a chicken? 90, apparently!
- Mr Shake-Hands Man shakes hands with Kelsey Grammer
- Some guys dressed as knights ride on grocery carts in a parking lot and joust
- Lady One-Question asks Simon Cowell one question
- One legged soccer player tries to score a goal against a one armed goalie
- Two old ladies (Dot and Hazel) play wheelchair chicken
- A priest and a rabbi compete with Lou Ferrigno in an exercise bike challenge
(37:50)
Jamie Kennedy Xperiment. This will be from now on referred to as JKX, just so ya know.
- Jamie plays a man who takes a group of people on a gator tour through the swamp. He tricks them by saying obnoxious things and banging on the side of the boat to attract gators. He pushes someone into the swamp water who threatens to sue. Jamie then tells everyone that they've been Xed before they really start to freak out.
American Juniors. This is just a small clip where a mom freaks out when her kid is rejected and makes her sing for the camera in the parking lot.
The Simpsons. I really only have this episode on tape because the episode starts out with the family watching Animal Survivor. And you know I'm a huge Survivor nut! It's the episode where they get satellite TV. Lisa gets bumped up to third grade, and Bart gets dropped back to third grade.
*during the commercial, the show cuts to Inspiration Time with Hilton Griswold. Hilton makes a joke, and laughs a very high pitched laugh that is funny sounding. He then makes a speech and begins singing a song. The tape then cuts out to video of a Dave Matthews Band song. Which happens to be "Every Day." It then cuts back to the Simpsons*
The Simpsons. We're back. The kids are in the same grade and they go on a field trip to Capitol City. They get separated from the class and then get lost in the woods. They are rescued by rednecks. And so ends the episode.
(1:06:54)
The Bernie Mac Show. Bernie is at a job interview and has to deal with two voices arguing inside his head. They are Carlton Banks and Kuta Kinte. Ike Turner shows up at the end. These voices overwhelm Bernie and cause him to get flustered and run out. It's not too funny.
30 Seconds To Fame
- Guy says that he loves Los Angeles, "where the freaks come out at night". And then proceeds to spin and balance a whole bunch of unusual objects.
- Weird looking chick barks like a dog and is booed off the stage. These people have poor taste.
- Zombie dances around to techno music before eventually getting booed off the stage
- Fat, dorky Hawaiians play a ukulele and sing..... badly. They get booed too.
* during the commercial, the tape cuts to a clip of a contortionist shaping his body into the shape of a pretzel. He then jumps into the water while in pretzel form and swims off. Back we go to 30 Seconds of Fame*
30 Seconds To Fame.
- Homoerotic posing between two scantily clad muscle men
- Guy plays "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" by popping his cheek and gets booed off the stage
- Beatboxing dorky guy
- Comedian does funny body tricks behind a box
- Dude shoots basketballs at a hoop by putting the ball between his legs, doing a backflip, and letting go of the ball
*during the commercial we again cut away. This clip is of a retarded boy eating. After this, we cut to Banzai. I take it that's all we get to see of that episode of 30 Seconds To Fame*
(1:17:45)
Banzai. Da highlights, yo:
- Willis (yeah, the whatchu talkin' bout Willis, Willis.) races a dog out to catch a stick in the water. The dog wins.
- Lady One-Question asks Antonio Banderas a question
- A woman is paid to stuff as many singles into her mouth as she can. She gets to keep as many as she can fit in there in one minute. She wins $21.
- The Banzai crew asks a Princess Di doll it if it believes Harry Potter is gay. The doll is then thrown off a hot air balloon. Apparently Diana believes Harry Potter is gay, as evidenced by it landing on a field that said "yes" as opposed to "no." This one was weird, I know.
- Midgets climb up a tall basketball player and must plant a flag on his head
*during commercial, we cut to a clip of a Charro concert. It's really bizarre and not being sung in English. Apparently this song has its own dance, because several people in the crowd are doing the same funny move over and over again. After this is done, we cut to the show COPS. Random, I know. Get used to it!*
(1:30:48)
COPS.
- Police respond to a home invasion call. When they open the door, the cat runs out. They talk to the lady, who said that several guys had broken into her home. The Cops go to the guys' house, and have to wrestle one of the men down when he answers the door. He resists and is cuffed. The other guy is in the bathroom curled up into a ball and not moving. He is sprayed with mace, dragged out, and cuffed. The guys were all drugged up on heroin and one of them almost dies. They are given a shot of Narcan, which sobers them up immediately. That's about it.
*during the commercials for this, we cut to an advertisement for a 70's compilation CD. A few memorable clips include Kiss You All Over, Bad Girls, I Love the Night Life, Cold As Ice, We Are the Champions, and Dream Weaver. There is then a commercial for Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. It's the commercial with the song "I Ran So Far Away." Another random cut. This one to the religious channel where there's a theatrical pastor singing a frantic song called "I Love Jesus." He then asks if there are any ladies in the house who are on fire for the Lord. Strange. I guess that was the only COPS clip for now, because we cut to an episode of Seinfeld*
Seinfeld. The Bubble Boy episode.
*during commercials, we cut back to the 70's CD ad again. Highlights include: I Shot the Sheriff, Fly Like an Eagle, That's the Way I like It, Sara Smile, Maggie May, Sister Golden Hair, Black Water, American Woman, Up Around the Bend, School's Out, Spirit in the Sky, Lady Marmalade, Show and Tell, and Tonight's the Night (!!!!)*
Seinfeld continues. Moops! Moors! Moops! Moors, it's a misprint!
*more commercials, more 70's clips. This time we've got Blinded By the Light, Hot Blooded, I love the Night Life (again, lol. So worthy), Handy Man, Layla, Show Me the Way, Stayin' Alive, and Heart of Glass*
Back to Seinfeld we go. This time, it's the end and the show is over yo. So long, Bubble Boy episode.
Small clip of an Ozzy Osbourne interview on Larry King Live. He's stuttering like a mofo and admits that he is addicted to prescribed drugs and he still binge drinks.
Clip from Perfect Strangers where Larry is chasing Balki around and saying "boochie boochie boochie"
Exorcist clip where a demon is falling down a hill and shrieking. So random, I know. WTF?
Clip of an eccentric preacher man singing a Jesus song and you can barely understand what he's saying
Saturday Night Live clip which is a spoof of an Elton John greatest hits infomercial. Red Skelton is sung.
The random clips keep coming! This clip is from an episode of South Park with Jesus and Pals. When Jesus takes questions from the audience, they act like it's Jerry Springer. One guy wants to talk about Michael Jackson. So ends clip.
(2:03:52)
Random clip of Andy Kaufman on stage doing comedy. He's wearing a shirt that says "I Love Grandma". He puts on a fake accent and sings a song. End o' clip.
Judge Joe Brown. This episode is about a woman who sues her ex because she says he is stalking her. She is really rude and interrupts a whole bunch of times to argue and fight with the defendants. When the judge rules against her and calls her nuts, she flips out and throws her glass cup and hits her ex in the face. She is then arrested for assault and taken out by the bailiff. Classic Judge Joe Brown case.
COPS.
- This episode is about drug stings. The cops arrest people as they try to buy drugs from a decoy officer. The first person arrested is a middle aged white male who says that he's been smoking for 38 years. When an ice cream truck drives past, the officer asks the man getting arrested if he wants an ice cream, but he says he wants a joint instead. Next guy arrested is a black dude on a bicycle that they tackle to the ground as he tries to ride away.
- A group of toothless Hispanics are talked to by the police because someone fired a gun up into the air during a birthday party kind of thing. The man who fired the gun is arrested, despite the protests of his brother and wife who thinks the cops should let him go. "I'm no sissy boy!"
Fresh Prince clip - Jazz gets thrown out the door
(2:21:51)
30 Seconds To Fame
- Woman sings Proud Mary
- Massively obese black belly dancer
- White dude dresses like a Hawaiian and tries to play the banjo. He's booed.
- Magician with floating cigar
- More homoerotic posing
- Nerdy ping pong player
- Lady who blows giant bubbles. She's booed for some reason.
Girls Behaving Badly
- The girls walk around with majorly exposed thongs. Hidden cameras show people's funny reactions when they see the thongs.
- Home Renovation TV show renovates the wrong house. The homeowner is pissed off when he comes home and orders everyone to leave. It's funny.
JKX
- Jamie X's a guy he is training to do a newspaper route. He runs a curb and smashes over a fence. A trash can gets stuck under the tire. He then fights with his ex, and drives his goth son home. Is that any way for a creature of the night to talk? The guy who is being tricked is really chill and seems amused by all the craziness going on.
- Jamie pulls the same gag, except this time with a really violent looking gang banger guy who is not amused by anything going on. His reactions are pretty funny.
(2:41:02)
Banzai
- There is a lineup of Asian guys and one of them is wearing a wig. Which one is it?
- Mr Shake-Hands Man shakes hands with Adam Sandler
- Two men in space suits play Russian roulette with umbrellas
- Babies race
- Lady One-Question asks one question to George Takei
- Blind ladies play bumper cars
*Tape starts to go a little bad here - the sound goes in and out. It doesn't stay this way - it gets better after Banzai ends*
- Keep your eye on the suitcase
- The fantastic Freddy man flutter
Seinfeld. This is the low talker/puffy shirt/ George is a hand model episode.
(3:20:30)
Judge Joe Brown. An episode where a father sues his son for some missing guitars. The son does a threatening gesture towards his dad and gets yelled at by the judge and loses the case. He breaks down, cries, and gets angry.
Sesame Street clip - the Goo Goo Dolls sing a variation of the song Slide.
The Simpsons. This is the Ribwich episode. Homer becomes addicted to the Ribwich from Krusty Burger. When he first eats one, it's like a scene from Requiem for a Dream when someone shoots up. Lisa wins the State Championship at the spelling bee, and goes to the Spellympics. When the Ribwich is discontinued, Homer joins a Ribwich hippy groupy tour to track down any remaining sandwiches.
Clip of Jim Carrey laughing repeatedly from Ace Ventura.
Clip from Flatliners where a small black girl hurls insults at Kevin Bacon.
Small clip of Kodiak City and Jessie from Cops. The full episodes are later to come on a different tape. I'll go into more detail then.
Clip of Chunk from the Goonies doing the Truffle Shuffle.
(3:49:02)
Clips from the Latin Leather club porno movie. The acting and storyline are so amazing. Wow! A group of Latin guys in leather vests pick up a dorky white boy at the park who is waiting for his girlfriend and take him back to their crib.
Clip from Dumb and Dumber where the cop drinks the bottle of pee
Clip from the movie Labyrinth. It's the part where David Bowie sings "Dance, Magic, Dance."
More Latin Leather clips. One guy looks at a statue of a bull and says that he knows guys with dicks bigger than that shit. Another clip where a guy says something in Spanish that sounds funny.
Assorted clips and highlights from Me, Myself, and Irene. Mostly clips when he turns into Hank and flips out.
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. This is the episode where Will's dad comes back into his life. Will agrees to go on a trip with his dad, but his dad bails on him at the last second... resulting in emotional breakdowns. Such a sad episode :(
Clip of Saturday Night Live, Night at the Roxbury skit. The guys chase after Pam Anderson.
(4:20:46)
Some show with funny moments from Game Shows. Highlights:
- Anne Robinson from Weakest Link breaks down with laughter
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog on Hollywood Squares
- Chicks don't know what condiment means
- Hosts kiss contestants
JKX
- Jamie plays an old man who is a back doctor. He gives the client, a young Asian guy, a very odd exam and massage. He tickles the guy, pokes his butt, asks him out for dinner, and even pees on him... and the guy doesn't seem phased!
(4:32:40)
30 Seconds To Fame
- Guy stands on top of a ladder and juggles
- Little spinners! They get booed. WTF people, who boos midgets?
- Transgender dancer gets booed off the stage
- Guys dressed like knights stage a swordfight
- Dude smashes boards on his head, but they don't all break
- Christopher with Puppets. YMCA!
- Old man plays a banjo and yodels
- Ventriloquist has a caveman doll that dances to Night at the Roxbury music
- Lady with a dress that changes every time she steps behind a curtain
- Christopher with Puppets wins
COPS.
- Quick clip of a dude and his girlfriend getting busted after buying weed from the police
- Another drug bust. White trash woman arrested buying pot. She has crack rocks in her purse too. Her car is impounded.
- Another drug bust. Young white guy gets his car seized as well after buying weed.
(4:49:18)
Black activist speaks on MPTV. He has a funny high pitched girly voice, that's the only reason I recorded this.
Seinfeld. This is the very last episode. Apparently its only the second part of the finale, beginning at the trial and kicking off all the flashbacks. The Soup Nazi is my favorite thing about this episode.
Maury Povich. An episode about unusual people. There's a boy who weighs over 700 pounds. Also included is a 20 year old who stands at just three feet tall.
Jerry Springer clip. Invasion of the little people. A woman cheats on her husband with a mulleted midget, and there's a big fight. A gay guy cheats on his boyfriend with a leather biker midget. Also, questions from the audience!
(5:22:47)
Weird porno clips
- Midget comes dancing down the stairs and fucks a woman.
- Ron Jeremy fucks a gigantic fat woman. Her ass is bigger than Jupiter.
30 Seconds To Fame
- Woman fires a bow and arrow with her foot
- Woman twirls a flaming hula hoop
- Dancing puppets get booed off the stage
- Man with a giant bubble on his head gets booed and eliminated
- Elvis on stilts
- Rappo Clappo
- Man who does sound effects
- G- Force
Black activist again
Blues Brothers clip with Carrie Fisher
JKX
- Two guest judges are Xed when their votes are changed to rig the outcome of a talent show
(5:46:28)
COPS (the tape starts to go a little bad toward the end of this episode. That's because the end of the tape is nearing)
- Cops serve a search warrant on a suspected drug house. It's like a swat team invasion or sumthin! A bunch of dudes are arrested.
- Redneck and his retarded wife are arrested for stealing from the Salvation Army. This is only a clip - I didn't get the whole thing.
- Police arrest a homeless man who is intruding and living in someone else's house
- More drug stings. Key West police arrest people who are buying drugs on the street.
People think I am crazy when I tell them I still do this. But really I could care less.
Before the age of DVR, TiVo, Netflix, Youtube, and the ability to download shows to your computer, there were only two ways to watch things. You could either watch it on live TV, or you could set up your VCR to record it onto a VHS tape and watch it at a later time.
Back in the 90's, this was normal. No one would look at you weirdly or frown upon the practice if you told them about it. I recorded shows and movies from live TV like anyone else. Either because I wasn't going to be home and didn't want to miss it, or because I knew that whatever I was watching was something that I was going to want to see again at a later time.
Most of the stuff I would record, I didn't keep. I would just tape over it at a later time. This changed in 2000 with Survivor. I was so enthralled by the show that I recorded the entire series onto VHS and would watch it over and over and over again. I would do the same for subsequent seasons as well.
Eventually, I had recorded all the way up through Survivor Micronesia, which was the 16th season of the show. That's right, at one point I owned 16 seasons of Survivor on VHS tapes. They have since been recorded over since I own a lot of the DVDs, and can easily watch online all of the seasons that couldn't be found on DVD.
The practice may have begun with Survivor, but it didn't end with it. In 2001, I was pretty much living full time with my girlfriend Colleen at her apartment. But every once in a while I would return home for a weekend or so just for a change of pace. While at home, I thought it would be a great idea to record some funny random stuff on cable to bring back to her since we didn't have cable at our apartment. And she loved them.
Thus began my real obsession. I recorded random crap like Reno 911, The Jamie Kennedy Xperiment, COPS, I'm With Busey, America's Funniest Home Videos, Inspiration Time, and random clips of funny moments from movies and commercials as well. It didn't stop with one tape, I recorded mutiple tape after tape. All loaded with crazy random nonsense that would basically only make sense to me and a few other people in the world.
Eventually Colleen and I broke up, but this didn't stop me from continuing this practice. Over the years not only did I keep on recording Survivor, but I kept on adding tapes to my "mixed" collection. In addition to recording random clips and episodes of shows, I also started adding world news and sporting events to the mix. My tapes have become like a time capsule of sorts.
This practice has waned greatly in recent years. I haven't recorded much since 2009 or so. With Youtube out there, and the ability to pretty much find anything you want online, I guess I kind of thought it was pointless to keep recording stuff. But every once in a while I will. I think the last thing I recorded was a news clip about the "Fail Mary" call in a Packers vs Seahawks NFL game a year or two ago. I estimate to have about 60 to 70 VHS tapes full of crap. Perhaps even more. When my grandma died, we went through her things and I discovered that she basically did the same thing I did. So I have added some of her tapes to my collection as well.
I like things to be organized, so in the last few years I have been going through each tape in order of which I recorded them. I have been writing down what is on each tape, time indexing them, putting them in their proper order, and posting their contents in Facebook notes.
However, I recently have started to worry that Facebook notes may expire after a time. What happens if they do? I will have to go through and watch every single tape again. And most of them are 8 plus hours long. That is not something I am looking forward to. I am already up to tape number 40 something. That's a lot of hours I have put into this.
So now I will be adding the contents of each tape to my blog as well. Why not? If it is in two places at the same time, chances are I am not going to lose these any time soon. I also plan to print up some physical copies of these lists as well.
You can say I am obsessed. Call me crazy. You are probably right. But it is something I must do. People likely aren't even going to read these. They are mainly here for me. Not for you.
So if you see these tapes start popping up on the blog, look no further than this post for an explanation of what they are. You have been warned.
If I am remembering correctly, this was one of the last games released in the lifespan of the NES. Being an enormous Home Alone fan, I had missed out on the first game. With the era of the NES coming to a close, I wasn't about to let the same thing happen with the sequel.
I got this for Christmas and proceeded to play the crap out of it. My initial reaction to this game was one of confusion. By this time in my life, I was used to video games that were based on movies taking liberties with the plot of the movie. This one however, went a little too far. I ended up liking it though. A lot of what you are supposed to do is unclear, and back in the early 90's I didn't have internet to look shit up. Although I thought the game was very bizarre, I still enjoyed it.
I don't know what happened to my original copy of the game, but somehow it must have been given away or sold. Fast forward to the 2010s. My friend Brett was moving away to Colorado and had given me some of his old games he didn't want anymore. Home Alone 2 was one of them. This game sat around collecting dust in my NES collection since I had so many other games to play. And while I liked this game as a kid, I knew it was mainly sentimentality speaking (the game probably sucks to anyone who didn't grow up playing it. Heck, even I wasn't sure what to think about it back in the day) so I basically ignored it for a few years.
When I started doing this blog, I thought - hey. This might be an interesting game to go back and play again. Interesting is definitely the right word for it.
You start out in the lobby of the hotel that Kevin stays in in the movie. You are being harassed and chased by angry employees. But that's not the weird part. The weird part is all the random crap the makers of the game decide to throw at you. You get attacked by runaway mops, suitcases, and vacuum cleaners. Old ladies try to whack you with their canes. Big fat black men in pimp outfits try to strangle you. What the heck is going on in this game?
As you progress, you also collect a number of bizarre items. The game doesn't tell you what the items do, and I didn't have the instruction book, so I had to figure it out myself. Get enough pizza slices and you get an extra life. Things that look like brown poop balls give you extra health (I found out later they are supposed to be cookies). You also get weapons like air guns and um, tranquilizer darts (?) that you use to shoot at people. Also, you can collect pearl necklaces to throw on the ground and trip up your enemies. Definitely, the collection of random items and enemies in the first part of the game alone is enough to make even the most seasoned gamer be like: wut?
Also weird in this game is just the very nature of figuring out what the heck you are supposed to do. In most 2D side scrollers like this, you run from left to right. You battle enemies. You reach the end. Maybe there is a boss fight at the end. There is some kind of definite goal in mind.
No, not here. When you reach the far right side of the screen, the game dead ends and you are stuck in front of a bunch of elevators that refuse to open. You don't know if there is a glitch happening, or what is going on. Eventually after you press the button a good number of times, they finally open and zip you up to another floor. Why you are going up when you are attempting to escape to the outside is beyond me.
The whole hotel section of the game is random. Basically, the elevator drops you off on multiple floors. All you have to do is run to the end of the floor, and run back and get on the elevator. After this happens enough times, you are taken down to the kitchen, where you must battle a bunch of demented cooks who throw food at you. At the end of the kitchen is the first real boss of the game. The head chef throws pieces of meat around and attempts to squash you with a giant jumping move. All your weapons pass through him and don't do any damage, so you have to improvise. Kevin comes equipped with a slide move (remember in the movie when he slides under a bunch of people and whacks their crotches with his head?) and you have to use this on the chef. Every time you hit him, he loses an article of clothing. Eventually when he loses all his clothes, he tries to run away but turns into a giant pizza which gives you an extra life. You are then allowed to leave the kitchen. Ooooookay then.
This takes you to the next major section of the game: Outside. Here, you basically run through the park avoiding deranged criminals who jump out of the bushes and try to whack you with sticks. Again, after a while you hit a dead end. I was at a loss as to what to do and must have run back and forth between the dead end and the beginning of the level a half dozen times before I figured out there was one pole you could climb that took me to the top of this big building. You can't climb any of the other poles. And the game doesn't indicate whatsoever that this is what you are supposed to do. You just have to luck into it, I guess. After you get to the top of the building, you then have to jump off the far side of the building and go down into an open sewer grate.
I remember hating this part as a kid, but as an adult it really isn't that hard. In the sewer - a bunch of birds fly overhead (birds in the sewer?) and drop twigs on you. You can basically just run and slide past most of them and get to the end without being touched once. At the end is a ladder that takes you up, but the birds keep flying by. You can't start up the ladder and stop or go back down. If you try that, you will fall off. So you have to memorize their pattern and make a mad dash to the top. Not that hard to figure out now, but I had fits during this part as a kid.
Shortly after this, you find yourself in the booby trapped house which is the location for most of the mayhem and madness in the movie. I was hoping for a toy store level, but alas, I never got one. Sad face.
The house to me was the most frustrating part of the game. The booby traps abound, and you have to set them off with your dartgun or else Harry and Marv catch you and it is insta-death. Also, there are a lot of perilous platforming sections where you must jump from one suspended beam to the next. One slight slip up kills you. And you will slip up. A lot.
The house section mainly consists of finding keys that unlock doors that lead up to the roof of the house. Each floor of the house contains its own dangers and obstacles you must overcome. And lots and lots of those beam jumping segments.
After reaching the roof, you climb via a rope back down to the street, Harry and Marv in close pursuit. You must keep ahead of them, or once again it is insta-death. But the only way to avoid getting caught by them is to run ahead close to the edge of the screen, where things like rats and flying sewer grates will pop in and hit you with little to no notice whatsoever. This was also a problem section of the game for me, although I don't particularly remember struggling here as a kid. Prepare to die a lot, and have to start the game over from the beginning again. It is very frustrating.
After this, you come to the end of the game. You climb a giant Christmas tree, and at the top, you queue the bird lady to drop seeds on the heads of Harry and Marv, which causes birds to swoop in and hurt them. Hurt them enough, and eventually you defeat them. And the game ends. Yippy! It will take you several playthroughs of the game before you finally can figure out what to do in each stage. But the game is very short. On the playthrough where I finally did beat the game, I clocked my completion time at 18 minutes.
Graphically, the game is nothing special. Everything looks very basic. I've definitely seen better graphics out of the NES, and even on games significantly older than this one. The music is repetitive but doesn't bug you too much. You can faintly make out traces of the Home Alone theme song in the background of the hotel level, so props to them for at least trying. Sound effects are your typical beeps and bloops. Nothing special there.
Cut scenes in the game are not good. They take place in Ninja Gaiden fashion, but are really ugly to look at. Particularly the one at the end of the game when Kevin is with his parents. And they take an obnoxiously long time to finish too. The words come up too slow, and you just want them to hurry up already. Although, you don't want to hit a button and accidentally skip through everything.
It sound like I am complaining a lot about this game. And rightfully so. Ugly graphics, basic sounds, frustrating difficulty, and confusing gameplay that leaves you often with absolutely no idea of what you are to do next. Despite all of this, I somehow oddly like the game. If I had picked it up now without having sentimental memories of this title as a kid, I would probably be luck: "what the fuck IS this shit???? This is terrible!"
But be that as it may, I do have sentimental feelings for the game. I played this a lot as a kid. Getting stuck and finding out what to do without the help of a guide or the internet was quite an accomplishment. And mastering the game's steep difficulty was no easy task. Sure the game probably sucks, but picking it up now as an adult brings all those memories of a better, more innocent time back to me.
I will admit that this game isn't any good. If you pick it up and play this for the first time in the present day, you will be frustrated by its poor graphics and hopelessly clueless sense of direction. Read a lot of reviews out there, and you will see people rate this title on a scale of 1-10 as a 1 or 2.
But hey, I like it. Despite its flaws, I still was able to pick this up and have a good time. There were some moments where I rage quit and threw the controller across the room, but that was part of life when playing NES games like this back in the day.
Home Alone 2 doesn't withstand the test of time. But I don't care. This was a big part of my childhood and I am willing to overlook its flaws and have a good time when I play it. Well, a relatively good time anyway.
Wait, what am I saying? This game is shit. No, it's fun. No, it's shit. Damn it. I can't decide. I am just going to give it a C and call it a day. Work for you? It works for me.
I actually had never heard of the Far Cry series until after the third installment had already come out. That game got rave reviews, and when I looked it up, I thought it looked like all kinds of awesome. Being someone who will not play a series unless it is from the beginning (even if all the installments are not connected), I decided that I would not play Far Cry unless it was from the very start.
It took me a while to find it, but when I saw this game go on sale on the Playstation Network for only 5 bucks, I figured there was no better time to snatch it up and see what all the fuss was about.
We'll start with the basics. This is a first person shooter that takes place on a series of islands where there is some kind of weird genetic testing going on. I'm a little unclear about the full details of the storyline. Things aren't really explained in the beginning of the game. Mainly you find out what is going on through communicator conversations with a mysterious figure who is guiding you on your mission. As I stated in an earlier review of a different game, I hate this. I have an extremely short attention span, and I can only really follow one thing at a time. If I am walking around trying to solve a puzzle, find a key, or blast away enemies and I have got some dude jabbering in my ear, I tend to tune him out. And then I completely miss what is happening with the storyline.
So basically I can't really tell you anything about the story. I don't think the story is really that big a deal anyways. This game is all about fun and action - and there could be no storyline and I still would have enjoyed this.
When reading reviews for Far Cry 3, I saw the words "stealth" and "open world" coming up an awful lot. I expected the game to be different since the original was made several years before the third installment, but this is actually much more different than I had thought it would be.
First of all, this is no open world. Each mission is limited to a small section of the island chain. You have a goal, and when you complete the goal, the mission is over and you move on to the next one. You can't move on past your goal. On subsequent missions, you can't go back and check out areas you may have missed earlier in the game. This is definitely not an open world, although that may (and probably does) change in future Far Cry games, which I have not played yet.
One thing that is slightly open-world about this (I guess) is that most missions have different paths you can take to complete them. For example - you could scale a mountain on foot, walking on the path taking out enemies along the way. Or you could stick to the forest and try to sneak your way in. Or you could drive a vehicle to the top of the mountain and run over everyone in sight. Or you could find the base hidden in the side of the mountain and ride an elevator to the top. There are many ways you can go about achieving your goal.
Stealth is something that is easier said than done in this game. Hopefully this mechanic has been fixed in future Far Cry installments, but I found the whole thing quite ineffective. Your enemies mainly are very hard to see, and don't show up on your radar at all. Unless you put on your binoculars, then you can "tag" your enemies so that not only do they show up with a little green marker above their heads, but they also show up on the radar. The radar shows what direction they face - and based on what color they are (green for unalert, yellow for suspicious, red for high alert) how aware they are of your existence. This is all fine and dandy, and I actually kind of really like this system.
My main problem, like I said, is the actual stealth mechanic. Say you are hiding in a bush and you want to distract someone who is guarding a door. In games like the Last of Us, you throw a rock, and the guard hears it and goes off to investigate. In this game, you throw a rock and he immediately becomes alert and starts coming in your direction. Along with every other guard in the area. I don't get the purpose of this at all. It took me approximately two missions to stop throwing rocks because it was a waste of time and more trouble than what it was worth. Also, the game has this way of changing the rock in your inventory to a grenade every time you walk over one. So oftentimes I would end up chucking a grenade and completely blowing any chance I had of cover to complete shit.
Another problem with the stealth mechanic is how ineffective it is. You can crouch or crawl in this game. There are lots of trees and bushes and tall grass. In Metal Gear, you lay prone in the high grass and the guards walk right by you and don't see you. In this game, you might as well be waving around a flag and shouting "here I am!!!" when you attempt the same. What's the point of hiding if they can see you no matter what you do? The only way you can effectively stay hidden is if they aren't looking in your direction. Which in that case you don't even need to be laying down, you may as well be standing up and ready to move.
So yeah, I don't really get the whole stealth dynamic of the game. The only thing that worked as far as stealth that I could see is when you use a silenced weapon. I found this to be quite an effective tactic, picking off enemies one by one or sniping them from a distance before the alarm can be raised.
Indoors, the game plays out more like a standard first person shooter. You don't really have the stealth dynamic (or what little of it there is) to worry about. You just run around, guns blazing, taking out anything that moves. The areas you have to maneuver around in are pretty tight and confined. So you don't really have to worry about enemies sneaking up on you or being hard to find.
Controls for the game are pretty simple. You run, jump, crouch, and open doors. Standard FPS fair. Occasionally you have access to land vehicles, small boats, and mounted turrets. There are even a few hang gliding sections thrown in for good measure. But as I say, stealth is pretty much a wash. I found I was able to really get into the game and have fun when I tossed that mechanic aside and just went around blowing everyone away. The outside levels to me are a little more fun than the indoor levels just because there are so many different ways you can go about accomplishing your goals.
There are a ton of different guns in this game, and you can carry up to four of them. Despite all the choices, I found myself using the same gun pretty much the whole game. The silenced automatic rifle thingy that can zoom in on enemies from a far. It's a very effective weapon. I don't know if I am just a really good shot, or if this game gives you a little leeway, but none of the enemies in this game stood a chance against me, whether in close combat or whether I was picking them off from afar.
In most first person shooters these days, your health regenerates as you walk around. But Far Cry is a throwback in the sense that you need to find actual healing items if you find yourself running low on health. At first, I found myself routinely getting slaughtered in the game, but once I got a hang of this dynamic and how you have to keep moving when you are facing an enemy, I was able to whiz through the game.
There are 20 missions in the game, and all of them are shorter than an hour in length. Some significantly so. I was able to beat this game in a fairly quick amount of time. I forget the exact number but it was somewhere between 13 and 14 hours. Not bad for five dollars though.
When I finished this game, it left me wanting more. More Far Cry, damn it! Although it took me a while to truly get into the game, and although I couldn't give two shits about the story, I still had a great time. I haven't had this much fun with a first person shooter in a long time. It almost felt more like an adventure game like Uncharted than a true FPS. I'm very excited to see the direction this series has taken. If the reviews are any indication of what is to come with the sequels, I am in for a real treat.
Back in the early 90's, Sonic the Hedgehog was unlike anything I had ever seen. Before making the jump to 16 bit, I had only been familiar with Nintendo and Atari games. The colorful graphics, the immersive music, the crazy level design, and the blazing speed were things that I had never thought would be possible to experience from a home console.
My uncle was the first person I knew to get a Sega Genesis. Usually he didn't like me in his room or touching his things, but when he got this he just had to show it off. Sure, I wasn't allowed to play. But just watching this game was enough to put me in a complete state of awe. Although I was a giant Mario fan and desperately wanted a Super Nintendo, seeing Sonic the Hedgehog in motion was enough to make me not mind getting a Sega Genesis instead.
I actually didn't get a Genesis until over a year later, and the first game I got for the system was Sonic 2. Sonic 2 was an amazing game, but part of me wanted to go back and play the original Sonic, the game that I fell in love with at first sight. I actually was able to rent the title and I polished it off in one night. But as far as actually owning it for the Genesis, I never did.
But then we flash forward to 2008. This was the year I purchased Sonic Master Collection for the Nintendo GameCube. A whole arsenal of classic Sonic games at my disposal. With the notable lack of Sonic CD, it was everything I had ever dreamed of, and more.
I like to play things in order, so the original Sonic was the first thing I queued up. It had been about 15 years since I had played it last, and yet it still held up wonderfully. Sure there have been some advancements made in the Sonic series since its first entry (most notably the spin dash) but there is no denying that game just oozes classic charm from every pore of its being.
I remember having a semi difficult time with this game upon this playthrough, especially in the latter stages. But still, I was able to have a great time. This game never becomes overly frustrating, smash your control into the wall difficult. Unless you totally suck. Even in the few hard parts, it still remains a lot of fun.
Let's fast forward once again, this time to 2015. I had been looking for a game to review for this blog. Something quick and easy that could be beaten in a day. Something with nostalgic value. Hey! Why not Sonic the Hedgehog?
This game blew my mind when I first saw it in the early 90's. When I played it again in 2008, I fell in love once more. The game had withstood the test of time, and had proven to be great fun at the same time. In 2015, my opinion still remains unchanged.
First of all, the graphics are really phenomenal. Sure if you are a youngster who has grown up playing things like BioShock and some of the more recent Final Fantasy titles, you probably won't think much of the look of Sonic the Hedgehog. But when you consider the fact that this game is over 20 years old, you can't help but be impressed. A lot of indie games nowadays have that classic "retro" look to them. And this game really looks like it could have been created a year or two ago. Nothing is blocky. Nothing is ugly. It's all just very bright, cartoonish, and fun.
The music and sound effects are great too. The sound of Sonic jumping and the sound of him collecting a ring are iconic, instantly recognizable video game sound effects. One of my personal favorites has always been collecting an air bubble when you are underwater. I don't know why, but it satisfies me every time. Also, the musical score is quite good. The classic Sonic jingle when you get invincibility is another iconic video game song. The game is loaded with catchy background tunes for each level. The Green Hill Zone's theme is one of my favorite scores for any video game, ever. It nearly gives me chills for some reason when I hear it.
No matter how a game looks or sounds, if it isn't any fun, it isn't any good. And Sonic is a lot of fun. At first glance this is pretty much a classic standard side scrolling 2D platformer. But unlike most games of this genre, Sonic is reliant on speed. The whole game moves very quickly. You don't poke around, taking your time. Checking out this, looking under this. You just fucking go. Not only is it cool to be fast, but at times it is completely necessary. You have to build up enough speed to run through giant loops in order to advance, or curl up in a ball and smash through a wall or roll through a tube. It's great. And completely revolutionary for its time.
The game manages to balance being fast with some solid platforming action too. The controls are tight and responsive - and you should have no trouble jumping from platform to platform over giant lakes of lava as you try to reach the end of the level. The farther you get in the game, though, the more the game slows down. Things do get much harder towards the end of the title. Lots of precision jumping is required. And there are lots of traps. Lots of enemies. You can't just recklessly rush through everything, or you aren't going to survive. Yet the game still manages to balance being cautious and taking your time and not manage to lose its sense of speed. The design for the game is truly remarkable.
Each major level in the game has 3 stages. And each stage is unique in its own right. In most 2D platformers, you have one way to go. And one way only. In Sonic, there are multiple paths you can take and many ways to get to the end of each level. Really, you could play this game multiple times in a day and have a different experience each time.
Bonus stages give the game even more depth. Collect 50 rings and jump through a giant golden ring at the end of each stage (save for the ones with bosses) and you are zapped off to a bonus level. In these levels, you roll and jump around in a giant rotating death trap. Your goal is to crack open a Chaos Emerald container at the center of each bonus level. Certain parts of the wall that you touch can rotate the stage in the opposite direction, or increase or decrease the speed of the rotation. Fall down the wrong opening or touch anything that says exit, and you instantly lose. Collect the emerald, and all is good. At the end of the game, if you haven't collected all the emeralds, you will see Dr Robotnik juggling them, and a frustrating "try again" message come up on the screen. To this day, I don't know what happens if you collect all the Chaos Emeralds. And I doubt I ever will. I always manage to flub the bonus stages somehow. Perhaps if I can ever remember, I will YouTube it some day.
The only things left to mention are the battles with your nemesis, Dr Robotnik. At the end of the 3rd stage in each level, you must defeat this goon in order to advance in the game. He always is riding in his weird flying machine, but each battle is different and requires a different strategy to defeat him. For example, in one incarnation he swings a giant golden wrecking ball in your direction, and you must take not of his pattern and dispatch him quickly. At the end of another level, he drops bombs down on you. You must either catapult the bombs back at him, or use the catapults on the ground to launch yourself up in the air and smack his fat ass.
At the end of the game, you face off with him one last time. You win, and you have beaten Sonic the Hedgehog. And it's really not that difficult a fight.
Looking back, this was basically the perfect Genesis title. No Sonic the Hedgehog, and I don't think the Genesis even comes close to touching the Super Nintendo in the 16 bit console wars. And the great thing about Sonic is that not only is this game great, but its sequels are too. Some people say 2 is the best Sonic game. Growing up with Sonic 2 and absolutely playing the crap out of that game, I could see why people would have this opinion. Some say Sonic 3 is the best.
But even though I never owned this game, and I have probably played it the least out of any 16 bit Sonic title out there, this game has a special place in my heart. Is it the best Sonic game? Maybe. I am hard pressed to name a favorite. But there is no denying the impact this game has had on video game history. Not only is it a classic, groundbreaking title. But it still holds up and is great fun today.
2D side scrollers don't get much better than this.
Batman games have a long history with the critics of being... not very good. For the most part I have enjoyed the Caped Crusader's forays onto my gaming consoles. I have been a fan of the franchise since I was just a little kid. I played all video game incarnations of Batman and Batman Returns that came out on the old 8 and 16 bit systems, and I loved them.
Some of the next generation console Batman games however were not as good as the old 2D side scrollers and beat em ups. So when the critics praised Arkham Asylum as being the best Batman game, possibly ever, I knew I had to check it out. It had been far too long since I had played a really great Batman game at home.
This game does so many things right. Before you even start playing, the thing that stands out is the presentation. Voice actors and actresses from the classic cartoon Batman: The Animated series reprise their roles in the game. Instantly to me this made the credibility level of the game jump through the roof.
The graphics are great. The way the game sets up the story line and the setting is admirable. You can tell immediately that this is going to be a very well made and authentic game. But how does it play?
It plays just as good as it looks. The fights for the most part are just button mashers, but you don't just go through the game pounding on everyone in sight. There are plenty of areas that allow for stealth, where sneaking around and taking out your enemies silently one by one is more preferable to the full on attack.
When you are not fighting, there are no issues whatsoever with the control. Batman moves and controls exactly as he should. You won't have any problems with the camera or awkward maneuvering.
If you are big on exploration you will love this game. Arkham is enormous, with secrets hidden in every nook and cranny. In "Metroid" like fashion, some areas in the beginning of the game are accessible later on when you have collected more items and have upgraded your arsenal.
The makers of this title did a tremendous job making the game feel like a living and breathing part of the Batman universe. Everything is just tremendously detailed. From the environments, to the characters, to the audio and voice work. Batman's suit and cape even take permanent damage as the game rolls along. How cool is that? Not only would it be a fun game if it wasn't Batman themed, but the fact that it is Batman makes it just so terribly awesome that words can't even describe.
Most of the villains have their day in the sun. There are a few that don't make appearances, such as Two Face and the Penguin. But they are likely being saved for later games in the series. Do expect to see references to almost everybody though. As you collect items and secrets, you unlock their files as well. The villains that do appear such as Croc, Scarecrow, Zsasz, and Poison Ivy are all brilliantly animated and voiced. Each character has a big personality and unique style that stays true to the source material. While the Joker is the main villain, it doesn't seem like any of these characters are playing second fiddle to him. They are, but it doesn't seem like it. Any one of them could carry the game if needed in their own special way.
When all is said and done, this game is a Batman fan's dream as well as a video game lover's. In addition to being incredibly authentic, it is a great game at it's core as well. Great graphics, great sounds, incredible atmosphere, fun control, good story... lots to explore. Lots to see, do, and collect.
This game does almost everything the right way. If you love video games, and you love Batman, you have no excuse for having not played this game yet.
When I was a kid I gobbled up games like this. 2D platformers based on licensed products were my thing, even if said licensed product was just a silly (and now completely obscure) soda mascot. Why exactly they felt the need to create a game based on the 7-Up mascot, I will never know. But hey I liked it.
This game was either a Christmas or a birthday present. I don't really remember and I don't think it matters at this point. The graphics were stunning for its time. The levels were big and full of secret stuff. And Spot was just... so damn cool. He was only a red dot with sunglasses and big hands and feet. But hey it worked for him. Sure there are obvious flaws with this game. But I was a kid, and I didn't pay any attention. It was fun, and that's all that mattered to me.
I actually grew up playing the Genesis version of the game. Somewhere over the years it got lost in the shuffle. So when I saw it at a used game shop for the Super Nintendo 20 some years later, I scooped it up for nostalgias sake. How has the game held up?
It's a mixed bag. First I will say that it has been such a long time ago that I played the Genesis version of the game. I didn't notice any discernable differences between the Genesis and Super Nintendo versions of Cool Spot.
The game starts you out on a beach, and the controls of the game are very easy to learn. You jump and you shoot. That's it. the goal of each stage is to collect a certain number of red dot thingies. Collecting them increases your "cool" meter. When you get cool enough, you can move on to the end of the stage where there is a fellow Spot in a cage. Blast the lock off the cage to free him, and the level is over.
The stages are really big, and there are many collectibles to be found. The aforementioned red dots, 7-Up icons, extra lives, health items, extra time, etc. With the levels being so large, there is a lot of replay value going back and trying to find everything. If you fill your cool meter up to 85% or more, you unlock a bonus stage at the end of the level. The stage puts you into a giant 7-Up can where you must bounce off bubbles and collect items and letters. Each letter represents a continue, which you definitely are going to need if you have never played this game before.
One letter can be found in each bonus stage. The letters spell out "uncola". Yeah, that was 7-Ups big catchphrase back in the day. Lame, huh? If you beat the game on normal, you get a screen saying that you have to complete the game on hard - AND collect all the letters to see the real ending. Which I never bothered to do. Because fuck that. After a little research, I discovered that the only extra perk you get is a screen for some kind of contest. You are supposed to take a picture of the screen and send it in to the game makers to win.... something. I doubt the offer still stands.
The game looks nice. It sounds fine. There is really nothing special in the music or sound effects department. The difficulty level can be high. I don't remember having any trouble with the game when I was a kid, but playing it now as an adult I died quite a few times. The aiming for your fizz attack isn't too accurate and a lot of enemies are swarming you and causing damage at all times. Objects in the environment can hurt you as well. Health items are rare and only appear randomly when you kill an enemy. But they ascend off the top of the screen as soon as they appear, and they always seem to appear somewhere where they can't easily be reached. And before you know it, they have floated off the screen.
But the main problem I had with this game was the precision jumping/platforming sections of it. One level in particular you have to jump across lily pads in an inflated bathtub. Fall in the water and you instantly die. But that's not even the hard part. You must climb high up above the pool to finish the stage, and the only way to get there is by jumping across inflated bubbles that pop when you bounce off them. One misstep (or misbounce) and you plunge to your doom. As if this wasn't hard enough, you have to collect some seriously hard to reach items as you bounce from bubble to bubble if you want to fill up your cool meter enough to finish the level. And sometimes you have to jump to a bubble or platform that is not on the screen and you can't see. So you have to take a leap of faith which has a 50/50 percent chance of succeeding.
A lot of the stages are also recycled. There are slight differences in level design, but the backgrounds and the enemies are the same. Two beach stages, two dock stages, 2 toy land stages, 2 "behind the wall" stages. I wish a little more creativity was shown in this department. Overall there are about 10 to 15 stages in the game and half of them are repeats.
So that's the basic premise of the game. Traverse the levels, collect items, shoot shit, rescue your fellow Spots, and hope you are cool enough to participate in the bonus levels. As a kid I had no problem with this title, but as an adult I have seen enough games like this to be able to spot (no pun intended) some pretty obvious flaws.
But I still enjoyed it. Yeah the controls aren't great. Sure the precision jumping stages sucked. There could definitely be a little more variety to the levels. The difficulty level and the constant cheap deaths can be irritating. And there are no bosses or big climactic moments in the game. When you rescue your last Spot on the beach repeat stage, the game ends.
Despite all that, I still had fun. Kind of. Maybe if it weren't for the nostalgia factor I would have despised the game. We shall never know. You'd have to really mess up a 2D platformer for me to hate it though. If you didn't grow up playing the game or if you are too young to even remember Spot or the uncola slogan, there probably is no point for you to play the game. There's really nothing here that hasn't been done a thousand times before. Unless you are a really big fan of exploration and collecting hidden items. This game does excel in that department.
Back in the late 90s I was all about Resident Evil. You might even call it an obsession. I played the first two games in the series a countless number of times. So many unlockables, different endings, different things happening each time you played the game. You had your choice of 2 different characters with different paths laid out in front of them. Resident Evil 2 upped the ante. When you beat the game with a certain character, you opened up a "scenario B" for the other character. This scenario B was almost a whole new game in and of itself. 2 characters, 2 scenario Bs. It was almost 4 games in one. And I am not even mentioning the mercenary missions. Resident Evil 2 had an amazing amount of replay value.
Which segues into the problems I had with Resident Evil 3: Nemesis. In this game, you don't have a selection of characters you can choose from. You play as Jill, and only Jill (although you do briefly play as some other dude later in the game when Jill gets hurt). There are a few minor ways you can alter the path of the game and have different things happen each time you play it, but nothing major or groundbreaking. It basically amounts to: if I do this, is Nemesis going to pop out at point A or point B instead? When you finish the game, you don't really get anything worth playing the title over again. A new wardrobe... woo. Yay, I guess?
Plus the game is extremely short. I remember beating this in a day or two when I got it. I sat back and thought to myself... that's it? Yup, that was it. After the overall awesomeness and replayability of the first 2 games, I considered Resident Evil Nemesis a big fat waste of money.
So it was short and there was no replay value. But how was the game itself?
Despite my concerns, it was good actually. I preferred the slow, almost unbearable tension of the first game. Nothing scared me quite like Resident Evil 1. RE2 was more of the same, but there were parts of it that were definitely a lot more action oriented than the first. Plus, a police station just isn't as scary as that old mansion.
This game sets you loose in the streets of Raccoon City. Playing as Jill, you must wander around blasting enemies and trying to make your way to safety. In true Resident Evil fashion, expect more than just zombies to attack you. We got giant spiders, dogs, lickers... all classic staples from the series. In Resident Evil 2, I highly enjoyed the small parts at the beginning of the game where you got to walk around in the streets a little bit. So the setting here really excited me.
While this game is not as scary as the first two in the series, it does have its moments. If you have played the game at all, I am sure you know about the villain who is the name sake of the title - the Nemesis. This giant hulk-like monstrosity searches the city looking to eliminate STARS members. He is quite relentless. If you attack him, you can stun him. Even bring him down for a while until you leave the area. But don't think you are going to kill him.
This game is a lot more action oriented than the first two titles. Gone are a lot of the scary, tense moments of the past. Expect a lot of shooting and a lot of death. Heads will be blown off faster than you can grumble the word STARS in your best Nemesis impersonation. The scariest thing about this game is the Nemesis himself. Like I said, he can not be killed. You have to evade him for the majority of the game, and he has a way of popping in where you least expect him. There will be corridors you have traversed a countless number of times. You'll be walking down it when an ominous song starts playing and the Nemesis leaps out and attacks you. Definitely the scariest thing about this game is the anticipation of getting attacked. Is he going to jump out? He was in this room last time, will he still be there? There are moments you think you are completely safe only to have him jump in and start firing rockets at you.
This game definitely needed the Nemesis, because otherwise it is not scary at all. There is so much firepower in the game that the zombies are basically a joke now. Whereas in past Resident Evil games, zombie encounters were scary because ammo was scarce and your means for killing them were not as surefire. Now you can run around with these high powered guns and a nearly unlimited supply of ammunition and mow down rows of the undead without breaking a sweat.
The locale is not as scary either. Mainly you traverse streets that were once busy and heavily populated. You enter shops and businesses that have been abandoned. Hospitals, sewers, a construction site, even a gas station. One cool part of the game is when you revisit the police station from the second game. Don't expect just a rehash of what you have already seen and done. There are wrinkles added here that keep the experience feeling fresh, even though some of the scenery is the same.
In the right scenario, some of these places could be scary. But still the game lacks that added tension that made the first two games so edge of your seat. The Nemesis fills that role, sort of. But you play knowing that you can just simply run away from him and he probably won't touch you. It definitely takes a lot of the edge off.
Graphically, there isn't much that sets this apart from Resident Evil 2. The tank controls are the same as well. Really, not much has changed aside from your weapons and the scenery.
This game is also very short. In addition to being short, the puzzles here don't make you think as hard. And the majority of them are laughably easy. Another thing I liked so much about the first 2 games in the series is how it challenged you mentally. As well as being "physically" taxing trying to survive the zombie attacks. This game plays too much like a straight forward action title for my tastes. The puzzles are mainly an after thought.
And as the game progresses you will see that the story isn't as interesting either. Basically, your goal is to escape the city and evade the Nemesis. At the end, you learn that in order to contain the outbreak, the government has ordered a nuclear strike on Raccoon City. So you phone a helicopter and fly away. The end.
It seems like I am really ragging on the game. But as I said it is fun to play, while it lasts. Sure it is easy. Sure it isn't as scary as the older games. Sure there is no replay value. But once you get caught up in the game you don't care as much. Like I say, it is fun while it lasts. It just doesn't last very long.
Is it a good game? Sure. If you see it in the bargain bin - by all means buy it. The game has actually gotten better with age. It's a quick, fun game to beat. But be warned it has little to no replay value. I just can't help that when I think of this game, I think of a game that didn't live up to the legacy of the first two titles in the series. I am probably under rating this, but a C sums up my conflicting thoughts on the game pretty well.
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