2014 Movie Ranking #118 - #100

Ranking from worst to first of every movie I watched in 2014. Some of these I have seen for the first time, some I have seen before already. My ranking is based on my viewing experience in 2014 and in 2014 alone. So although I love the movie Evil Dead - for example - it may rank lower than normal since I fell asleep watching it this year. We begin with 118 and end with 100 in this first update. Also, I should note that I will spoil things. If you see a movie appear on here, but you have not seen it yet, be warned that there may be spoilers present in my evaluation.

#118

Son of Sam

I am not going to lie. I thought this was the movie Summer of Sam when I queued it up on Netflix. Instead this is just a very cheesy low budget retelling of the Son of Sam killings. The acting is horrible. Film students could have done better work with the camera. And the movie itself is just flat out boring. The majority of the movie seems to be the killer standing around the city looking off into the distance. Or hallucination scenes with annoying chanting that goes on for far too long. 

This truly is the worst movie I watched in all of 2014. Immediately I could tell it was going to be awful. Why I didn't stop, I have no idea. Do not ever watch this. Even if you are watching it for laughs, it will come up incredibly short. This is one of the most boring movies I have ever seen.

#117

Clay Pigeons

I had a girlfriend once who loved this movie. Yet for some reason even though we shared a lot of similar tastes in movies, we never ended up watching this one together. When it showed up on Netflix over 10 years later my first thought was hey I should watch that. I remembered how much she enjoyed it.

Unfortunately, I did not like it. In fact, trying to think back I can barely remember what this movie was about. I suppose the fact that I watched it in January and it was one of the first movies I watched all year doesn't help. But I was very bored and very disappointed. I didn't like it at all. I gave it a fair shot, but after I realized how it just flat out wasn't for me, I stopped paying attention and started surfing the internet with this playing in the background. That's about all I can remember about this movie. Aside from Vince Vaughn being creepy.

#116

From Russia With Love

Is this a bad movie? Probably not. I do like James Bond movies, and Sean Connery is actually my second favorite Bond (I still think Pierce Brosnan was the best). 

I wasn't a big Dr No fan, and kind of zoned out halfway through that film (I watched it in 2013, so it won't be on this ranking). Since this is a direct sequel to that movie, a lot of it I didn't remember. I lost interest very quickly and became bored with the film. Like Clay Pigeons right above me, it became background material while I surfed the internet. I couldn't tell you what happened in this movie.

#115

Big Top Peewee

This probably deserves to be at least a few spots higher up on the list. At least I can remember this movie, whereas a few of the others I fell asleep during or was so bored that I multi tasked and tuned the movie out. 

But I just can't justify ranking this any higher. It is terrible. Being a huge fan of Pee Wee's Big Adventure, I expected this to be stupid but good fun. The stupid part is right. This movie is just ridiculous, especially when compared to the epic Big Adventure. It doesn't even deserve to be mentioned in the same breath.

#114
Beyond The Black Rainbow

I should have listened to the reviews on Netflix that gave this movie only one star. This is one of the most bizarre movies I have ever seen - and it makes absolutely no sense. If you are a fan of David Lynch movies like Eraserhead maybe you would enjoy this. But expect to be very confused.

#113

Elysium

I am surprised to see this movie rank so low, since it seems like something I would have enjoyed. I like the premise, but like District 9, there is just something about the style of the movie that turns me off. It doesn't help that I fell asleep like halfway through and missed a bug chunk in the middle. But I was so disinterested by that point anyway, that I didn't bother to go back and watch it. I am willing to give this movie another shot. I didn't like District 9 the first time I saw it, but upon rewatch I liked it a lot more. Maybe the same will happen here. Will this be on 2015's movie ranking list, but higher? Maybe.

#112

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. Mostly it is hate. When I first saw this back in the theaters, I wanted more than anything to like it. But it was such a huge disappointment compared to the original trilogy. I thought it was terrible and I was very let down.

Over the years my opinion has changed a bit. I usually watch the prequels every couple years or so, just because I am such a big Star Wars fan. Some years I appreciate them for what they are worth. No they aren't the original movies, but if you can separate them from the originals and watch them on their own, they are decentish fun. But this year was different. I went back to hating it again.

I watched this and I had planned to watch Attack of the Clones to lead into the Clone Wars show which I started watching on Netflix. But I could barely make it through this movie. Not only have I seen it way too many times than is necessary, but all of the glaring flows and terrible acting came to the forefront. I just couldn't ignore how bad it is. I never did watch Attack of the Clones since I had such a horrible time with this movie. Although I probably will at some point in 2015.

#111

The Amazing Spider Man 2

I don't get what happened here. I actually enjoyed the original Amazing Spider Man. I had read reviews that gave this movie positive marks. I expected to really enjoy this. 

No.

This film was embarrassingly bad to me for the most part. The acting is terrible and the CGI Spider-Man effects as he zips around the city are so insanely fake and out of place looking. The whole movie is just incredibly corny. I lost interest early on, and the movie was never able to get it back. The death of Gwen Stacey, which should have been this big emotional moment failed to move me. The only interesting thing about this movie was Electro. I suggest skipping this movie unless you are a die hard Spidey fan.

#110

All Is Lost

I am a big fan of movies like Castaway and Life of Pi where people are abandoned at sea and have to use their wits to survive. I expected to like All is Lost since I had read such great things about it. Unfortunately to me this was just incredibly boring. I'm sure Redford's performance is just fine, but to me he lacks charisma and personality for me to really care too much about him. This whole movie is basically him on his boat weathering storms and fixing damage to his vessel. Very snooze inducing. There are some tense moments like when he is belowdecks and the storm flips the boat completely upside down. But for the most part I was bored out of my mind.

#109

Shutter Island

I really want to like this movie, but I am going to have to come to terms that it simply is not meant to be. I love the premise. I like that it is twisty and you should expect the unexpected. But the way it is filmed with the loud music and bright colors is cringe inducing. A lot of bad acting and really corny scenes ruin things too. The movie itself feels disjointed and sloppily put together. It is a movie that has potential. Every year or two I watch this, thinking my opinion will change. But it never does.

#108

Dallas Buyers Club

This is another movie I wanted to like. I had read a lot of great things about it. Mainly about the performances by McConaughey and Jared Leto. They are good performances, I guess. But to me good in character acting is useless if the movie itself isn't interesting. It had potential at the beginning when the main character discovered he had HIV - and he was in denial and freaking out.

But the more the movie shifted more toward the Buyers Club crap, the more I lost interest. I could barely tell you what happened in the second half of the movie because I lost interest and started doing the multi tasking thing with this in the background.

#107

Escape From Tomorrow

This is a generously high ranking. This move should probably be lower, but at least it was interesting. If you can call it that. 

What I had heard was that this was a horror movie filmed at Disney World entirely with hidden cameras right under the noses of the Disney staff. Sounds interesting, right? You can't really call this a horror movie though. I don't know how to categorize this. Like Beyond The Black Rainbow, this movie makes absolutely no sense. David Lynch fans may gleam some kind of entertainment from this, but mainly it is just pretty awful and confusing. 

#106

The Impostors

I had never even heard of this movie until 2014. My wife wanted to show it to me since it was one of her favorite comedies growing up. We watched it at dinner time over the course of two nights. 

This ranks so low not because I disliked the movie. But rather because I can barely remember anything about it. This was watched back in January. It was also watched while we were busy eating dinner. I have an extraordinarily tough time paying attention to thins while eating. 

I remember it being mildly funny, but not exactly something I would have gone out of my way to watch if Beth hadn't insisted. 

#105

Total Recall

I am a big fan of the Arnold version of this movie. A lot of people have irrational hate for remakes and instantly disregard them without giving them a chance. I am not that way. I really wanted to like this remake and was very eager to give it a shot. 

But it really is not that good of a movie. The special effects are nice. I like the story. I like the people in the movie. The pieces are in place but it just doesn't click. Total Recall takes itself far too seriously. The action scenes are too over the top. I started to get bored with all the fighting and running. This movie has no heart or personality. I really could care less what was going to happen next, and that is a shame because this movie did have potential.

#104

World War Z Unrated

I love the Walking Dead. I love zombie movies like Day of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead. Night of the Living Dead - etc etc. So you would think I would like this.

But I didn't. The action is too fast paced. The scenes too over the top. The Walking Dead is so successful because you really get to know the characters. The action is slower, more dramatic, and more scary and stressful. In this movie, it is constant running and fighting and death. And it starts to get tiresome after a while. I really wanted to like this, but instead it ended up boring me big time.

#103

Torment

In tradition of movies like The Purge and The Strangers , Torment is your basic tale of a family at home getting attacked by creepy masked invaders. There is nothing really that sets this movie apart. I have seen this kind of film 100 times over, and I was pretty bored by it. There are some nice twists at the end, but nothing you didn't see coming a mile away.

#102

The Evil Dead

Before you scream foul that this is ranked so poorly, remember what I said in the introduction to this ranking. This ranking is solely based on my experience watching each movie in 2014 and 2014 alone. So while this is one of my favorite movies ever, it ranks so low because I fell asleep watching this in 2014. I have seen this so many times in the past, that it probably needs to be shelved by me for at least ten years because even before I fell asleep, I wasn't enjoying it like I normally did. 

#101

Resident Evil

Add this to the growing list of movies I wanted to like, but didn't. There are some nice memorable scenes, like the laser hallway scene. And it ends with a cliffhanger that makes you want to watch the second movie (I never bothered, although I may in 2015).

But this movie is a farce when compared to the video game. I expected a dark, Night of the Living Dead style horror movie, and I get the zombie equivalent of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Bad acting, bad special effects. The action moves too fast, the story was disjointed and unappealing. Overall to me this was very corny and generic. Resident Evil deserves better.

#100

Red Dragon

I am a big Hannibal Lector fan. I loved Silence of the Lambs. I loved Manhunter. I've read all the books. I expected better from Red Dragon. The taught, tension filled drama of the books and the other movies is cast aside. We instead get a fast paced, little kid with ADD version of what should have been a very dramatic and scary story. Edward Norton is horribly miscast as Will Graham. I didn't like this at all. So many things are wrong with this movie. I am going to stick with Manhunter from now on and forget this exists. This reminds me - I need to check out the show Hannibal. I am sure I would like it.

That's it for now! Next update within the next few days.